Transformers: We Deserve Better Than Michael Bay

[Ray]

Well that's a lie. I can tell you of so many classic films that were critical flops in their time.

[Dataprime]

If anyone want to compare the Transformers movies and how they each did at the box office
Link

[Ray]

Does that count overseas profits too?

[Dataprime]

worldwide sales here

[Trajan]

Well that's a lie. I can tell you of so many classic films that were critical flops in their time.

You're reading the quote wrong: it says you'll rarely fail if you assume the American public is collectively stupider than average. Hence, why unintelligent films are so successful, they appeal to that collective stupidity.

[StarShaper7]

I've never been big on Transformers. I saw the first and second Bay movies when they were released, so I was 10 and 12, respectively. Don't really remember much about them.

I do remember one time I was watching the G1 cartoon and Sam and some other people were in an arcade or something. In the background one of the arcade machines had 'SEX' written on it. I was pretty young at the time, so I was like "What the hell? You can't do that in a cartoon!" I felt really clever because it seemed like something you weren't supposed to catch. But now that I think about it the letters were pretty big and, I think, in a vivid pink color. It was a really long time ago so I don't remember which episode it was and what happened in the rest of the episode. I've searched "transformers g1 sex' and 'transformers g1 subliminal message' but it doesn't come up. Maybe it never existed in the first place? Maybe it was a dream? Weird man.

[Ray]

Another thing the cartoons humor had that Bays films lack, Subtlety!

BTW Did you know Paul Dini, Co-Creator of Batman The Animated Series, wrote several episodes for the original G1 Animated series?

[StarShaper7]

A cartoon that names a war-torn Middle Eastern country Carbombya couldn't be very subtle. Also the 'SEX' thing was right there on an arcade machine in the background. It was a shot where Sam was talking, so it was right next to his head. Either people didn't pay as much attention back then or they didn't think it was something worth making a big deal out of.

I almost feel like skimming through all the G1 episodes to spot the 'SEX' machine. What kind of game could it have been?

From what I remember of the old G1 series, I liked Starscream the most. Same goes for that Transformers: Robots in Disguise anime. I pretty much watched any mildly interesting cartoon that was airing at the time, being a kid and all. I liked it when Starscream struggled with being a Decepticon and wanted to be a good guy, but couldn't do it because of I don't remember what.

Also, I remember there being a fight in the woods in the anime and one of the human kids got upset because tearing down the trees was bad for the environment and depleted oxygen. What I understood was that if all the trees were torn down, we would suffocate and die. So I thought "why the heck don't they just stop tearing down the trees? Why don't they plant a billion trees!" Of course it was never that simple.

Yeah, I remember the weirdest things about cartoons I watched as a kid.

[El Squibbonator]

If Bay EVER hears about Kiss Players, then let us all beware. . .

[Squigsquasher]

If Bay EVER hears about Kiss Players, then let us all beware. . .

It couldn't possibly be worse than the original. And that's not sarcasm; it is literally not possible for Michael Bay to make Kiss Players any more horrendous than it already is.

[Ray]

http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Transformers:_Kiss_Players_%28franchise%29



Dear God.

[Stillborn]

You discoverd this just now?

This is canonical justification for physically impossible interspecies sex, that some fans are so fond of

[Squigsquasher]

2 words.

Penis tongues.

[Clover]

Transformers 1 and 3 prove that somewhere inside the production of these movies is a glimmer of talent. There's memorable moments, despite the infantile dialogue, and I think a decent screenwriter and strong studio leash could wrangle a good movie out of Bay again.
They seem content to let him do whatever the fuck he wants, though. As long as that whatever includes pandering to chinamen.

[Chuckman]

You're reading the quote wrong: it says you'll rarely fail if you assume the American public is collectively stupider than average. Hence, why unintelligent films are so successful, they appeal to that collective stupidity.

A film is, generally speaking, only as dumb as its audience. Some very dumb films can be very smart. I think a lot of people would dismiss the depth in, say, Robocop if Verhoeven had made Showgirls first.

[El Squibbonator]

2 words.

Penis tongues.

If I'm not mistaken, Bay still managed to work that into Age of Extinction.

[Ray]

The commentary in Robocop is retroactive. You only see what you want to see, I doubt he intended it to be as deep as the modern audience sees it as.

I'm going to play devils advocate for Bay for a moment. The thing is Bay did try to leave Transformers behind, and if he had they could have rebooted the whole thing in a few years with an actual director who could give us a decent Transformers film as good as the Avengers Or Dark Knight.

So why did he make Transformers 4?

Because Pain and Gain, his first non-transformers film in just under a decade underperformed at the box office. He tried to do something different, and it didn't give him the figures he wanted so how to make up the difference? Go back to what made him so much money in the past. The Transformers movies.

The reason we get Transformers 4 (and 5 and 6) isn't because of Bays Hubris (not entirely at least) its because of the Sheep mentality of the American moviegoing audience who keeps going to see this crap time and time again. But you aren't supposed to say that, because you're not supposed to insult your audience, you're supposed to give the audience the benefit of a doubt. You're supposed to believe that the only reason they dont go see good movies is because there aren't any. You're supposed to believe that if an average middle American had a Cinematic choice between a Big Mac and a Filet Mignon, they'd go with the better cut of meat.

But its simply not true. If everyone else is going to see the dumb Robot movie, so too must everyone else.

PS:

. . . and I'm terrified about what he and Liebsman have done to the TMNT. I'm not going to see that crap, but I know its still going to make millions. and a whole generation will have their vision of the Transformers and TMNT shaped by this crap.

Oh well . . .at least I still have Eva. At least until Bay gets around to making that horrid whitewashed LAEM in production hell.

[Chuckman]

If Bay makes LAEM I will make sacrifices of libations and burnt offerings to Baal for the blessing it will be.

Re: Robocop:

Verhoeven is really smart and intended all the commentary, but it doesn't matter what he intended. I read without (or with very little) regard to the author's intent.

[Bagheera]

I will definitely see Bay's TMNT, mainly because all of this bellyaching about him "ruining" peoples' childhoods just reinforces the notion that the people complaining have no taste. TMNT has been ruined since the first story done by someone other than Eastman and Laird; the TV shows were atrocious, and the movies were an embarrassment. There is nothing Bay can do that would be worse, absolutely nothing. And hey, at least this time the effects look good. Sign me up.

Still haven't seen T4. Probably won't. I just don't care anymore.

[Squigsquasher]

I saw Age of Extinction. I thought it was pretty good actually. It had none of the puerile toilet humour or offensive stereotypes of the last 2 films (Even Drift, who is a samurai-type character, is actually pretty cool and not at all offensive. Helps that he's played by Ken Watanabe). The story was pretty solid, the characters were actually likable (Mark Wahlburg's character was really good I thought, and Lockdown was bloody terrifying) and it managed to be serious without being grimderp. Also it has John Goodman as Hound, which is enough to give it an Oscar on principle.

SPOILER: Show

Still...poor, poor Ratchet. His death was actually quite distressing, especially as now Bumblebee and Prime are the last 2 of the original 5 Autobots from the first film alive. Rest in peace, you noble mechanoid.

So yeah. Overall it was not only a massive improvement on 2 and 3, but it came close to being as good as the first one- and it's a good film in its own right. Some people will dismiss it as the worst thing ever, but myself, I thought it was really good. Not an instant classic or masterpiece like The Big Lebowski or Akira, but still a decent film. I'd recommend you at least get it on DVD (although it is amazing on the big screen).