Okay, here we go. Spoilered for space reasons. Just to be clear, this is fanfiction, and it's terrible, and it's short, 'cause that's how I roll. You will not see a lot of action here, because I don't give a shit about that and the show's already addressed it. This is what happens after. Don't read it if that's not what you're looking for in an Eva story. To avoid cluttering the thread I won't reply to comments here, so send me a PM if you want a response.
May 23, 2020
"Look," she said, "all I'm saying is, if it's so damn important you should do something about it."
"I know that," he replied. "It's just . . . "
"Just what?" she asked.
"It's hard!" He finished putting his textbooks into his bag and headed toward the kitchen.
"Well gee, I never thought about that!" she quipped, a mocking sneer on her face. "What would make it easier, then? I could go to sleep, would that help? Or hey," she went on, turning around with a smirk, "maybe you just prefer boys after all, eh?"
Her smile died as soon as she saw the look on his face. Shit. "Shinji, I didn't-"
"I gotta get to class," he mumbled. "Lock up when you leave." And without another word he was gone.
"Shit."
He was studying in his room when she got back that night. She stopped at the threshold, gauging his reaction. He spared her a glance, said nothing. But he drew up his legs, making room for her at the foot of the bed. She entered, a bit too quickly, and sat down, back to the wall.
"How was seminar?" he asked.
"Fine, I guess," she replied. "Boring."
"No drama today?" he asked.
She stuck out her tongue. "No, thank you very much." After a bit of reflection she added "I really do hate that Kagome bitch, though."
He frowned. "She isn't that bad, is she?"
She shrugged. "She just acts like it's so damn easy. Always talking about her stupid boyfriend, always going on about the shit they do together, always asking oh-so-sweetly 'So how are you and Shinji doing, Asuka?' She just doesn't get it." She rubbed her forehead with one hand. "Hell, even Hikari doesn't get it."
He looked up at that. "Really? I always thought she was really supportive."
She shook her head. "It's not that," she explained. "She just doesn't understand things like synchronization or angel contamination, it doesn't make sense to her." She grimaced. "That idiot Suzuhara understands those things better than she ever will." She sighed, gently knocking her head against the wall. "And I never really explained things about Kotetsu."
He frowned. "Why not?"
She shrugged again. "I dunno. Maybe I just wanted to put it behind me. I'd already had to explain it a bunch of times, and by the time I reconnected with Hikari I just didn't wanna deal with it anymore. And besides, she's Japanese. This culture -- people just don't want to talk about things like that. If I brought it up I'd just be the gaijin girl thoughtlessly burdening others with her problems, and I really don't need that right now. It sucks, but that's just the way it is."
He blinked. "That never stopped you with me or Misato."
"You're different," she noted. "You two are family. She's not."
"I see," he replied. "I guess that's true; Hikari is very traditional in a lot of ways. But even so . . . "
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter."
He said nothing for a while. Then, "you can stay here tonight, if you like."
She gave him a light smile. "Thanks." She yawned, then stood and crossed the room to his dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and underwear. "I'm gonna take a shower, then."
"Okay," he said.
She left, heading for the bathroom. When she finished, she put her dirty clothes in the hamper and returned to his room. The light was out, moonlight illuminatiing the room, and he was in bed, facing the wall. She crawled into bed beside him. "Shinji?"
"What is it?" he asked.
"I'm sorry about this morning."
He paused. "It's fine."
Her brow wrinkled at the tone of his voice. "Shinji." Her voice was insistent.
"What?" he asked.
She didn't reply. "Shinji." When he didn't respond she grabbed his shoulder, tugging lightly. "Hey, Shinji!"
He turned over, irritated. "What do you want?" His ire faded when he saw the look in her eyes. It was soft, and fragile somehow. Her eyes were a very deep shade of blue. He took her hand, and gave her a warm smile, a genuine smile. "It's fine," he said. "Really."
She didn't reply, just released a breath and closed her eyes. Sleep followed shortly thereafter.
When she awoke she found she had turned over, and that his arm was around her midsection. She scowled in irritation. She got up, careful not to wake him, and headed for the bathroom. When she returned she spared him a glance, then began gathering her clothes and her bag.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
She looked up, startled. "I have a lot of reading to do for seminar Monday, so I should get some sleep."
"You can stay if you want," he said.
"No, I should really--" she began.
"I want you to stay," he said, his voice full of certainty.
She stopped, giving him a long, hard look. "Alright," she said.
He moved back, making room for her in the bed, and she crawled in beside him. She squeaked a bit when he reached for her, pulling her to him. "H-hey," she asked, "what are you doing?"
He flushed, unsure of himself. "It's not like I don't want to, you know."
She rested her hands on his chest. Both of them were tense. "I know," she said.
He stuck out his chin a bit. "And I don't like boys."
She laughed nervously. "Hey, I already apologized for that."
"I know," he said. "I just wanted to be clear."
She nodded. "Okay."
"Why did you say that, anyway?" he asked. "It's not like you don't know what's going on. And it's not . . . it's not just me, either."
She fidgeted a bit. "I know that," she said. "I guess I just . . . wanted you to fix it, somehow."
He chewed his lip. "I don't know how to do that," he mumbled.
"Idiot. That's because it can't be fixed."
He frowned. "Then what are we supposed to do?"
She shrugged. "Deal with it, I guess. Work through it. Keep trying."
"That sucks," he said.
"Yeah. It does." She turned her head, glaring at him. "You better not run away."
He shook his head. "I won't run away. Not running away is the only thing I'm good at." He paused. "Guess I really am an idiot, aren't I?"
She smirked, but didn't disagree.
"We should do it next Saturday," she observed.
"Huh?" he asked.
They were in the kitchen. Asuka was making breakfast, omelets, when she made her pronouncement out of the blue. "Sex," she answered.
Shinji frowned. "I thought we resolved all of that."
She scoffed at him. "We've resolved that we want to do it, and that we have issues that keep getting in the way, and that nobody gets why it's so hard for us. But we need to stop worrying about all of that and actually do it."
"Asuka . . . " he said.
She glared at him. "What?"
He fidgeted. "I'm really afraid of hurting you. What if--"
"I don't care," she said. "I'm tired of waiting."
"Dr. Okada said there was no rush," he observed. "He said we had all the time in the world, that--"
"He also said that we needed to push ourselves if we wanted to make any progress," she interrupted. "It's been four and a half years, Shinji. We've waited long enough. It would be different if we were unsure, but we aren't, are we?"
"No," he said.
She nodded. "Alright then. Saturday."
He scowled. "You make it sound so simple."
"It's not," she agreed. "But we're adults now, Shinji. It's time we start acting like it."
"Having sex doesn't make people adults," he mumbled.
"No, it doesn't" she agreed. "You're right. But dealing with problems instead of worrying about them does. That's what we're doing here. If it hurts it hurts, but we have to try."
He didn't say anything in reply, opting instead to brood.
She shot him an irritated look. "This is the part where you man up and tell me I'm right, that this is a good thing, and that you're looking forward to it."
He fidgeted uncomfortably. "The only thing I'm sure of about all of this is that I'm not sure of anything." He gave her a weak smile. "It is kind of exciting, though."
"Heh. Close enough." She put the omelets on plates and put one in front of Shinji.
He frowned, then scratched his head. "Okay, I guess that's it then. Saturday."
She nodded.
"Say, Asuka?" he asked.
She looked at him. "What is it?"
He licked his lips. "This means you won't be able to call me a pervert anymore, doesn't it?"
She scoffed. "In your dreams. You'll always be a pervert, stupid Shinji. As of Saturday you'll just be a very lucky pervert."
He groaned in defeat. She just laughed at him and took a bite of her omelet.
. . . no, a lemon is not coming next. Here's what you can look forward to now that I'm committed and am actually writing:
Shinji and Asuka, one week post-3I
Asuka's return from Kyoto 2 1/2 years after 3I
Asuka and Misato rebuilding trust, days after the previous scene
Misato's plans for Asuka's future, spinning out of the previous scene
The aftermath of the Saturday referred to in the current chapter
The aftermath of their second try, or why persistence is a virtue
Shinji's first days as an administrator of Herz, the organization built to rebuild the Earth and come up with useful applications of metaphysical biology and evangelion tech in general.
These will not be written in any sort of order or on any sort of schedule. They'll come when they come. If you like 'em, great. If you don't, thanks for reading anyway. Let me know either way.
pwhodges wrote:Since Bagheera has been banned from here and can therefore neither add to his story, nor correct any remaining errors, nor respond to comments, it has been rehosted elsewhere where he can do those things. As yet nothing is different, but any future changes or additions will happen there - he has more in mind, but no timetable.
