Transformers: We Deserve Better Than Michael Bay

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Transformers: We Deserve Better Than Michael Bay

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Postby Ray » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:32 pm

(Deleted this post because I have become very embarrassed by this in hindsight)
Last edited by Ray on Sat Jan 09, 2021 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Chuckman » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:37 pm

Michael Bay is not worthy of the masterpiece that is Transformers. The original is the modern Epic of Gilgamesh. Consider the art of the episode where Starscream, Bumblebee, and that one autobot that turns into a red airplane go back in time, meet King Arthur, and a bunch of seagulls literally shit all over Starscream. I consider that second only to the episode where the writers, producers, and directors insisted on naming an Arab country Carbombya and making a camel fucking joke, even when Kasey Kasem quit the show over it.
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Postby Ray » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:45 pm

Sarcasm is appreciated. . . watch the video in the link in the OP yet?
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Postby Trajan » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:09 am

I remember when it was cool to bash Michael Bay two or three years ago. But most people have just sort of moved on now; the man makes shit, it is known. What's the point of getting worked up over it? Michael Bay's quickest route to irrelevance is if everyone ignores him.
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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:17 am

The snark will be strong with this post BUT:

I'd much rather have Michael Bay spend his time making endless entries in a silly franchise based off a crappy 80s toy line than risk him adapting something serious or WORSE, trying his hand at confronting history again (Pearl Harbor).

Are Bay's Transformers movies terrible? Absolutely. Is he ruining gender relations for a whole generation of young boys with his racist, sexist, women-fearing, blood hungry murder-robot-military fetish porn? Absolutely. Was Transformers the cartoon ever high art? Absolutely not. The cartoon created their robot characters through stereotypes too.

Michael Bay is here to stay. He once had a reason to exist in the world of cinema - Bad Boys through Armageddon are dumb & fun - but he's now become THE MICHAEL BAY. He's not going anywhere. Michael Bay spending his time adapting a silly toy franchise from the 80s is the world's best case scenario now that Bay refuses to make fun 2 hour movies. 90% of the love for the Transformers cartoon series is nostalgia. The toy universe was dumb & for boys back in the 80s. The new film universe is dumb & for boys of the modern era. I'll happily ignore a Michael Bay Transformers film every 2 to 3 years so I don't have to face him adapting a book or moment in history I really care about.

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Postby Guy Nacks » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:23 am

View Original PostTrajan wrote:What's the point of getting worked up over it? Michael Bay's quickest route to irrelevance is if everyone ignores him.


Because people still go to these movies like heroin addicts staking out a methadone clinic. It just made a truckload of money and it's apparently a shit movie in every aspect other than being eye candy.


These special effects artists deserve better films to exhibit their talents. That's who I really feel bad for in all this.
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Postby Chuckman » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:44 am

View Original PostRay wrote:Sarcasm is appreciated. . . watch the video in the link in the OP yet?


I don't watch videos, I'm too busy trying to be sixth dimensional. When I'm literally everything I'll watch it. And do everything else at the same time.

People forget that Michael Bay made The Rock, with garnered a spot in the Criterion Collection. Michael Bay is perfectly capable of making an outstanding movie. I've heard The Island is pretty damn good.

The man has an aesthetic, but I think his style as a storyteller is too out there for most people to see past the superficial aspects. Bay appreciates what many talented directors do, that if you make a movie that is merely 'good', it can make a lot of money but no one will ever talk about it or pull it apart. There are messages in these movies, they're just very carefully hidden. Bay is giving a big middle finger to the executives that pay him and he's giving a big middle finger to the audience that lets their eyes glaze over and stares, but there's something of worth in the films if you look for it.

I'm convinced Michael Bay's entire existence is a living satire of the shallowness and vapidity of modern American culture. The man's art goes beyond what he does with the camera. He didn't make Megan Fox audition by washing his car for his own titillation, he was making an artistic statement.

I mean, it's not like she was cast for her acting prowess. He picked the eye candy girl for his two and a half hour cinematic blowjob of General Motors by choosing the actress that made the best performance of sexually worshipping a car.
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Postby Trajan » Sat Jul 12, 2014 11:35 am

Occam's Razor: He makes crap because it's what sells and he enjoys filming it to a superficial degree.
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Postby Chuckman » Sat Jul 12, 2014 11:58 am

The simplest answer is actually almost never the right one.
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Postby Defectron » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:10 pm

View Original PostTrajan wrote:Occam's Razor: He makes crap because it's what sells and he enjoys filming it to a superficial degree.


A better question is why does crap sell,or why does some crap sell while other crap doesn't/ What is the difference between transformers 2 and last airbender and dragonball evolution? I'm not entirely sure, I actually liked DBE a bit more then transofrmers 2. But only one of those more or less equally terrible movies did really well while the other two didn't/ I wonderifnostalgia critic could be right int hat the reason why bay is able to get away with what others can't is because he pretends he is filming porn regardless of what he is doing.
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Postby Trajan » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:26 pm

View Original PostChuckman wrote:The simplest answer is actually almost never the right one.


The hypothesis that makes the least number of assumptions is the one most likely to be correct. The more complicated you make your theory, the more likely it is to be wrong.

Occam's Razor is not "simpler is better" but that in the absence of certainty, the fewer assumptions that are made, the better. There's also the difference between simpler and simplest.
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Postby EvaBrothers » Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:58 pm

Seriously, I'm never going to give Bay another penny from my pocket. :irked: The Transformers I loved - and love - have nothing to do with his. At this point, I'll just dismiss his movies as bad fanfiction I don't like.

The *only* good thing Bay's TF movies did in Italy was helping people remember that Transformers actually existed. It was a lonely life for me when I still had no Internet and I was faced with disbelief and perplexed faces every time I mentioned the Transformers. :facepalm: (I'm talking about the years between 1996 and 2001.)
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Postby Ray » Sat Jul 12, 2014 2:00 pm

View Original PostDefectron wrote:A better question is why does crap sell,or why does some crap sell while other crap doesn't/ What is the difference between transformers 2 and last airbender and dragonball evolution? I'm not entirely sure, I actually liked DBE a bit more then transformers 2. But only one of those more or less equally terrible movies did really well while the other two didn't/ I wonder if nostalgia critic could be right int hat the reason why bay is able to get away with what others can't is because he pretends he is filming porn regardless of what he is doing.


Speaking of Nostalgia Critic check this video out. . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSzU_9DH-LI

The difference is, Bay. . . despite his failings, IS a competent director. He knows how to make a shot look good with and without CGI, his strength is Cinematography. To the point where James Cameron has actually confessed to watching Bays movies with a pen and paper attempting to reverse engineer his shots and angles for his own movies.

It's like a Communist propaganda painting, yeah you disagree with what the paintings about but you can appreciate its sheer surface beauty, despite the paintings content being horrible. But I'm not going to see Another Bay film. But one or two people saying no isn't going to make him stop making these horrible movies. Or him making billions at the box office.

The reason I like Eva isn't because of the Giant Robots its because Shinji Ikari is one of the most empathetic and tragic characters I've ever seen bar none. But can you imagine how bay would direct an LAEM?
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Postby FreakyFilmFan4ever » Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:21 pm

My two cents on Bay’s transformers:

Cent 1 - If Michaels Bay’s Transformers movies introduced new ideas at the same pace that Nolan’s Batman trilogy did, Transformers would be fighting in outer space by Tranny 4. All of the Autobots and deceptions would transform into space fighter jets and shoot at each other outside of Earth’s orbit, while others commanded from their respective starships. And then- OMG, WTF! One of the starships also starts transforming!

The Dinobots would have been had by film 3, and they would have been the focal point of the movie, not the "cherry on top."

Also, there would be no human characters.

Cent 2 - Anytime I hear that Bay is making a new Tranny film, I just listen to Lion’s rendition of the Transformers theme song and feel satisfied inside. No more need to see his movie.
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Postby NemZ » Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:00 pm

The original movie did have a hell of a soundtrack. Even Weird Al got a spot. :D
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Postby EvaBrothers » Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:02 pm

Absolutely! The movie from 1986 was a gem. And even the animation was great for the time.
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Postby Ray » Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:11 pm

View Original PostFreakyFilmFan4ever wrote:My two cents on Bay’s transformers:

Also, there would be no human characters.

EXACTLY! I don't care about Shia Lebouf or Mark Wahlberg or Nicola Peltz. They aren't interesting characters with interesting pasts. Optimus and Bumblebee are! I want to see them grow and develop as characters.

That's the Bayformers biggest failure, they focus on developing the wrong Characters, the Transformers are overglorified sidekicks in their own movies, the Human military is more competent taking down the Decepticons than Optimus and company!

That's also the reason the TMNT reboot is more than likely going to fail as well. It's going to be the Megan Fox show and the TMNT are going to be over glorified sidekicks in their own movie. I put my thoughts on that thread so theres no point in discussing it further here.

But Bays movies make money. . . and we keep going to see them. . .so a whole generation is going to have their vision of the Transformers and TMNT shaped by this shit. We can try and blame Bay, but in reality we have noone to blame but ourselves, because we keep going to see this crap.
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Postby Trajan » Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:19 pm

Blame yourselves, I've never seen any of the Transformers movies, not even the allegedly somewhat decent first one. I am still pure.
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Postby Stillborn » Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:27 pm

View Original PostRay wrote:But Bays movies make money. . . and we keep going to see them. . .so a whole generation is going to have their vision of the Transformers and TMNT shaped by this shit. We can try and blame Bay, but in reality we have noone to blame but ourselves, because we keep going to see this crap.


And that is the reason we don't deserve better than Bay.
We may futily wish though. :tongue:
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Postby Ray » Sat Jul 12, 2014 4:28 pm

I only saw the first and third one in the theatres. . . But I'm not going to see the fourth one on prinicpal. I'll wait until its a buck in my electronics store discount bin, so like James Cameron I can try and reverse engineer bays Cinematographic technique so that I may too be a rich filmmaker while putting in a minimum amount of effort into storytelling.
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