[CYOA] Shinji's Silly Misadventures!

[notalive]

But what if Rei only thinks the child is Shinji's and actually Tentacruel is the father? o_O

Yes, I'm evil.

[Squigsquasher]

But what if Rei only thinks the child is Shinji's and actually Tentacruel is the father? o_O

Yes, I'm evil.

The Tentacruel was female.

[notalive]

The Tentacruel was female.

The plot thickens!

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

The Tentacruel was female.

Nothin' like a bit of Yuri to spice up your day.

[Squigsquasher]

"I don't know about you" you mumble "But I need a bath"

Asuka grins wickedly. "Sounds fun...Can I join in?"

"I too wish to join you" chimes in Rei.

You roll your eyes at the excessive amount of fanservice being squeezed into the CYOA. "Fine, I suppose you two can join me...Sigh..."

"Yay!" squeal Asuka and Rei in unison.

The 3 of you enter the bathroom, strip off, and pour yourselves a nice warm, relaxing bubble bath.

You get into the bath, and lie back, soothing your aching, unwashed body.

"Aaaaahhhhhh...I needed that..." you gasp, revelling in the bliss.

Asuka and Rei climb in as well, lying next to you.

"This bath is exceptionally satisfying and restful...I even brought my rubber duck!" Rei says, holding up a small rubber duck in what appears to be Unit 01 cosplay.

She squeezes it, making it squeak.

"Ooooh...The water's just the right temperature!" squees Asuka "I think I could enjoy thi-ARGH! WHAT IS THAT?"

A dark shape rises out of the water. It is brown and stringy.

Fortunately, it turns out to be the top of Mari's head.

"Hello! I heard you were having a bath, so I tested out NERV's top secret teleportation device! It's stuck on "Fanservice" mode at the moment though, so it can't teleport clothes along with you!" chuckles Mari "Fortunately my glasses were deemed sexy enough to come with me! Hooray for abuse of extremely dangerous scientific equipment for the purposes of a gag! Hooray for breasts! Meow!"

Asuka laughs. "Oh, Glasses, it's you! How ya doin'?"

"Not to bad" replies Mari "Thought I'd come and visit. It's awfully nice in this bath...Oh, hello, Puppy Boy!"

You blush. "Well, I suppose we can manage with 4 of us in the bath, so...what's that?"

A nimbus of light appears over the bath, and a butt naked Kaworu floats down from it, with a metal rendition of Ode to Joy playing as he descends.

Eventually he floats to a rest in the bathtub.

"Greetings, beloved Lilin. Nice bath you have here. Mind if I drop in?" he says, his voice smooth and beautiful enough to melt the hearts of even the most cynical and stony of humans.

Somewhere, Sarah Palin dies of her heart melting into a red goo.

You blush, somewhat embarrassed by Kaworu's spontaneous appearance. "No, not at all! Please, feel free!"

Kaworu smiles. "Thank you, Shinji. I shall now Join Rei, Asuka and Mari and huddle up to you" He then proceeds to do so.

Thousands of Yaoi fangirls get blood all over their computer screens from massive nosebleeds.

Asuka sighs. "Well, I'm glad we can finally have a nice relaxing-"

"Asuka" cuts in a slightly distressed Rei "What's that?"

Somehow, the Tentacruel from earlier has managed to sneak into the bath.

"Tenta-Tenta-Tenta-cruel!" it squeaks, happily, sploshing about.

"Oh, it's only Tentacruel" sighs Rei "No need to worry"

"NO NEED TO WORRY?" wail Asuka and Mari "After what happened last time?"

Kaworu pats Tentacruel on the head. "Do not fear, for I have trained her to be less...grabby"

Then Pen-Pen sticks his head up from behind Kaworu.

"Waark!" he squawks.

"Oh, this is getting silly" you mutter "What next?"

Then Misato bursts in.

"Hello! I brought in the TV so you can watch something whilst you bathe! Oh, hello Mari, hello Kaworu!" she says, chipper as ever.

"Oh, that's so nice of you!" coos Mari "What have you brought us to watch?"

Misato holds up a DVD boxset. "This show we found in SEELE'sburys! It's called Ikki Tousen!"

Mari and Kaworu suddenly stop smiling.

"I have heard many things about that show" says Kaworu, gravely "None of them good"

"I don't think we should watch that..." Mari shudders.

"Oh, but look! It has Rei and Asuka in it!" says Misato, pointing at the cover.

"Hmm...It could be interesting..." Kaworu ponders.

"OK. Let's watch it!" decides Mari.

"Excellent! What snack do you want me to get you?" asks your purple-haired guardian.

1: A bowl of nachos, with all the trimmings,
2: A sushi platter,
3: A great big bowl of various forms of sweets,
Or 4: A bowl of scampi and chips (or fries, as you Americans call them)?

[BPES]

3. Let the sugar highs commence!

[EVAfacepalm]

3.) Now that everyone is relaxing in the bath. Shinji must seduce them with wonderful chocolates!

Also, we're gonna need a bigger bath. I say we find a hot tub or something. Then we can invite all of the members of ISH!

[MAGI_01]

3.

[Justacrazyguy]

333

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Um, three. There is no other option here.

[sephiros]

3. Nachos are good, but not in the bath.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

3. Nachos are good, but not in the bath.

Even if I tried to smear the girl's boobs with sticky nacho cheese, it would just wash right off. That's why it's bad, right?

[Lavinius]

Two for taste.

[sephiros]

Even if I tried to smear the girl's boobs with sticky nacho cheese, it would just wash right off. That's why it's bad, right?

Sure. Why not? In fact, that'll be my new go to answer if someone asks me why nachos are bad in the bath.

[GAR Shinji]

Three! Choose three!

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Looks to me like we have a winner.

[Squigsquasher]

"Some sweets would be good" you tell Misato.

She winks and grins. "Excellent, I'll go and get some! Back in a bit!"

She then heads off into the kitchen to prepare your snack.

"I must admit" says Kaworu "Your guardian is exceptionally kind. If only there were more people like her in the world"

"Yeah, you don't have to live with her..." you sigh. As lovely as he is, Kaworu can be rather naive at times.

Suddenly, the tang of ozone fills the room. Lightning arcs from the walls, and the room is obscured in a blinding flash of light.

When everything is visible again, you find that the bath has been dramatically expanded, and the Imperial Shinji Harem is now in the bath with you.

"Oh" you blurt "How did you get in here? And why is the bath so much bigger?"

"SIMPLE!" declares Haruhi "Because I'm GOD, and I do whatever the firetruck I want!"

Kaworu rolls his eyes. "Something tells me you should learn humility..."

Haruhi carries on anyway. "I, the great Haruhi Suzumiya, have teleported the entire Imperial Shinji Harem into the bath, and have expanded it greatly to ft us! Aren't I a genius?" she crows.

"I HAVE THE SAME VOICE ACTRESS AS Misato AND SAILOR MOON!" cackles Excel.

"Indeed you do" sighs Sailor Moon "Much to my eternal shame..."

Then Misato returns with the bowl of sugary snacks.

"I brought the snacks!...Oh, hello ISH! Nice to see you again!"

She sets down the bowl on a side table.

"I'll put the DVD in the player now!" she says, and promptly does so.

"Right, I'll leave you to it. Enjoy!"

Misato then leaves the room and closes the door.

You turn to Scanty and Kneesock. "Aren't you going to come up with some ridiculous "rrrrrrruuuurrruu"?

"We would" says Scanty "But we can't think of any"

"Anyway, let us watch the show, Shinji-sama, I am incredibly eager to see how well they performed their role as me..." cuts in Rei.

The show starts, and just a few minutes in, and everyone in the bath are already shivering at the complete lack of quality.

"Why the hell did they make me look so stupid!?" wails Asuka "And there's no way I would be constantly showing off my panties like that!"

"They got my hair colour and eye colour wrong" laments Rei "And as for this impostor's behaviour...Making people wet themselves...I am extremely disappointed!"

"Why are everyone's clothes so damn fragile!?" complains Mari "Clothes don't just explode like that!"

"And as for the animation" groans Kaworu "The entire budget has been blown on jiggling and overly detailed panty shots. The combat is basically exhibitionism with added speed lines"

"There needs to be some sort of RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUU against shows this bad!" cry Scanty and Kneesock.

"...Chi..." shudders Chi.

"My eyes! My glorious, godly eyes! They burn!" screams Haruhi.

"Oh god, the music...Please, enough...I think my pigtails are about to fall out..." shudders Hatsune Miku.

"Argh...And the voice acting...My dubbed voice wasn't as bad as this!" sobs Sailor Moon "And their skirts make mine look positively conservative!"

"ARGH! MAKE IT STOP!" moans Excel, stuffing marshmallows in her ears.

"...This anime...makes me want to kill myself..." quivers Black Rock Shooter.

"Enough! Please, enough!" Misty howls, hugging Mudkip.

"WAARK!" squawks a distressed Pen-Pen.

You simply sit there in abject horror. "...I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away...Actually, running away seems like an awfully attractive option right now..."

After sitting through almost an hour of the unbearable dross, even the DVD player decides enough is enough and regurgitates the disc.

"...That was absolutely horrible..." you shudder. "Still, at least we have all this candy..."

"...That...That sounds good..." stammers Mari.

You and your harem spend a good few hours relaxing in the bath, snuggling together and eating candy before eventually the water starts to go cold, and you have finished the sweets.

"Well, we ought to be going...Thank you for letting us stay though!" says Sailor Moon.

"No problem. You're the best harem a boy could hope for!" you reply.

Sailor Moon giggles. "Oh, stop it, you!"

"Anyway" says Black Rock Shooter "We really need to be going. See you soon!"

Haruhi begins to levitate in the air, and her entire body begins to glow.

"Goodbye, Shinji!" says the whole harem.

"G...Goodbye!" you reply.

Then the ISH return to their respective anime universes in a flash of light.

"Well" says Kaworu "It has been extremely pleasant sharing a bath with you, Shinji-kun. I hope we can do it again some time"

"T-t-that's alright, Kaworu...Me too..." you stutter.

"Anyway, I must be going now, Gaghiel's beached herself again. Goodbye, Shinji-kun. I'll see you again soon"

With that, Ode to Joy starts playing again, he raises into the air, a nimbus of shining golden light appears, and he vanishes.

"Sigh...I miss him already..." you mumble.

Asuka claps you on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Shinji, we'll see him again. Anyway, off to bed!"

You all get your clothes on, and head off to your bedrooms.

"Wait a minute" says Rei "I don't think there's a spare room for me..."

You think to yourself: what to do about this problem?

1: Sleep together in your bed,
2: Let her have your bed whilst you sleep on the sofa,
3: Make a bed for her on the sofa,
Or 4: Sleep with Rei and Asuka in Asuka's bed?

[Justacrazyguy]

44

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

You know what my answer is. Four all the way.

[EVAfacepalm]

I thought you learned of that cliche and tried to stop it!

FOUR IS BEST!

Addition: Also, I was kind of hoping that picking the sweets would attract at least Stocking so we could get an all out Demon on Angel war in the bathroom. Oh well, Ikki Tousen driving everyone to madness was equally funny.