What's the worst Eva fanfic you've ever read?

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Postby shelter » Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:40 pm

I'm a bit new to NGE fanfiction. But since I trawl for fics on LJ quite often, a very compelling candidate to one of the worst eva fic ever will have to be this old gem from 2005:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2260578/1/Vampire-meets-Evangelion

    - The premise of the story: Rei is a vampire. It's never explained. Go figure.
    - The plot includes visits to the club and abductions.
    - Chapters don't link. Chapter two ends in a club. Much of chapter three takes place in an undetermined future.
    - Characterisation is really off. Suffers from namedropping: everyone except Rei and Shinji appear to be a convenient backdrop.
    - Generally bad proofreading and spelling
    - The POV. Where do I start? The jumping in between 1st person Rei and 3rd person Shinji, with one (and only one) random paragraph of Asuka thrown in for good measure.

Sample bad spelling mistake:

In the picture she was cold and heartless, while in real life she seemed to give off this ore that was warm and gentle.


TL;DR - this fic is a cautionary tale of too much playing around with POV.

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Postby ElMariachi » Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:15 am

Oh yes, there was another one even worse than the one I talked about earlier, I just remembered it, guess my brain tried to suppress the memory of it or something :
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9763850/1/Reconciliation

Again it's a post-3.0 fic... well that's what the author said during the first chapter, and even more hilariously said that he got the inspiration from Reticence(the biggest post-3.0 fanfic so far) but found the cast not really "in-character", and that this story was his attempt to correct this.
That statement held only for the prologue and most of the first chapter, after that he got a completely different idea, or the author changed, or he started taking hardcore drugs I don't know, to list some of the highlights :

- Apparently Misato never told Asuka that Shinji retaliated against NERV for the Bardiel accident, apparently just to be a dick (that's the most normal point you'll see!)

- Shinji becomes the 14th Angel right in he middle of the desert and says that he plans to exterminate all of mankind and torture their soul for eternity, except Rei and Asuka.

- A Kaworu from another dimension comes out of nowhere, stops Shinji and makes Asuka an Angel too, then dump a pair of Shinji and Asuka from another dimension out of nowhere before leaving.

- Shinji and Asuka still decides to send everyone from WILLE and NERV to Hell... because. Mari is the only one sparred and don't seem to especially mind. meanwhile other Shinjis and Asukas from alternative dimensions appears out of nowhere. Among them a sexually obsessed Shinji with demon wings who worships Slaanesh.

- Thanks to their godly powers they create a mansion in the middle of the red desert where everyone bangs everyone.

- My brain began to enter the fourth dimension when Shinji, Asuka and Aki from The 2nd Try appeared too, before Aki was magically aged to 15 years olds (still four years old mentally) where it's revealed that Aki looks exactly like Mari, and then revealed that Rebuild!Mari is actually the daughter of the first extra-dimensional Shinji and Asuka who appeared, who sent her to help Rebuild!Asuka during the time skip, but she ditched the plan to have regular hot incest lesbian sex with her perpetually 14 years old AU mother, while T2T!Shinji and Asuka have to teach sexual education to a still mentally 4 Aki.
:|

Yeah, that when my brain finally broke and tried to erase everything I saw, since them I never had the courage to continue reading. It's like the necronomicon in fanfic form, or the wildest story of an author writing on acid I've ever seen.

Aki-chan! ;_;
Last edited by ElMariachi on Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:37 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Dataprime » Wed Feb 12, 2014 12:06 pm

View Original PostElMariachi wrote:-Between them a sexually obsessed Shinji with demon wings who worships Slaanesh.

-Thanks to their godly powers they create a mansion in the middle of the red desert when everyone bangs everyone.

-Shinji and Asuka who appeared, who sent her to help Rebuild!Asuka during the time skip, but she ditched the plan to have regular hot incest lesbian sex with her perpetually 14 years old AU mother, while T2T!Shinji and Asuka had to teach sexual education to a still mentally 4 Aki.

This all sounds like something straight out of a hentai.
:lol:

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Postby Chuckman » Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:47 pm

Why can't people get that Shinji would be nurglesque? It's always one of the other three with these people. Even Tzeentch for crying out loud.
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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:50 pm

View Original PostChuckman wrote:Why can't people get that Shinji would be nurglesque? It's always one of the other three with these people. Even Tzeentch for crying out loud.


I personally think Tzeentch suits him quite well. He's cripplingly insecure and constantly afraid of screwing up. Tzeentch is the god of ambition, fate, and even hope. He would turn to Tzeentch believing that the Changer of Ways would guide his purpose.

Of course that's an argument for another thread.
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Postby Stillborn » Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:54 pm

In Thousand Shinji he actually did turned to Tzeentch.

As for Shinji as Slaanesh follower... I don't know if we speak about the same fic, since I can't even remember its name... But I remember a scene, where Shinji fucked Fuyutsuki in the ass which resulted in Kozo shitting himself soon after, with "glorious" description of its colour and consistency.

And now imagine dozens of similiar scenes.
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Postby ElMariachi » Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:01 pm

^
Nope, that not this one, the author said from what story this Shinji comes from, and it's from one where he rape and dismember an heavily pregnant Asuka, and not in this order.

Great now I have another traumatizing story back in my head! :bawl:
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Kensuke is a military otaku who, at one point, is shown creepily taking pictures of girls to sell. He would clearly fit right in as an animator at Studio Gainax. -- Compiling_Autumn
EoTV is a therapist, EoE is a drill instructor. -- Chuckman
Seriously, that is the most fananked theory I've ever heard, more than Mari being Marty McFly travelling through time to keep her parents (Asushin) together. -- Jäeger

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Postby Guy Nacks » Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:44 am

Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm...... or anything by Psychostorm.
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Postby Dream » Thu Feb 13, 2014 5:14 am

I don't really read fanfics, so my "worst story" is rather mild. Just this fanfic that got linked in EGF some time ago... "The defilitation of Sohryu Asuka Langley" or something like that. Basically, Episode 22's angel not only violates Asuka's mind but forcibly experiments on and mutates her biological construction, resulting in her having eight arms or something like that. For some reason Ritsuko can't remove them and Asuka angsts that her beauty (and to a lesser extent her humanity) have been irrevocably ruined.
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Postby Doublegee » Fri Feb 14, 2014 4:48 am

What was the one fanfic written by that girl who earned the nickname of "borg queen"?

I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet. It was considered the My Immortal of its time.
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Postby Guy Nacks » Fri Feb 14, 2014 10:43 pm

ALSO, I have big problems with any SI fanfic on principle, with the sole exception of TToR404, which was actually pulled off in a suprisingly good fashion.

Kadmon's fics are dark and angsty as hell, but, you know, that kinda gets mah D wet sometimes, Though they are admittedly way over the top.
Among the people who use the Internet, many are obtuse. Because they are locked in their rooms, they hang on to that vision which is spreading across the world. But this does not go beyond mere ‘data’. Data without analysis [thinking], which makes you think that you know everything. This complacency is nothing but a trap. Moreover, the sense of values that counters this notion is paralyzed by it.

And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996

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Postby AngelNo13Bardiel » Wed Feb 19, 2014 4:29 am

View Original PostElMariachi wrote:Oh yes, there was another one even worse than the one I talked about earlier, I just remembered it, guess my brain tried to suppress the memory of it or something :
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9763850/1/Reconciliation

-snip-

Yeah, that when my brain finally broke and tried to erase everything I saw, since them I never had the courage to continue reading. It's like the necronomicon in fanfic form, or the wildest story of an author writing on acid I've ever seen.


Apparently, I've got a stronger will than you. I sat through the whole thing and laughed my ass off all the while. It's so out-of-its-goddamned-mind, you can't help but give the author credit for just taking the absurdity factor and cranking it to 11 (then breaking off the knob and running wild with it).

Yeah, some of it was a bit :cringe: and does have some things one will never un-see, but I was amused for a little while. Good find, sir. :hitthetable:
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Postby gorgeousshutin » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:51 am

For me, I find it difficult to pinpoint a worst fanfic experience, because if a fic's opening lines sucked in terms of prose and characterization, I usually just stop reading. If a story's opening is bad, it's mediocre in my book no matter how supposedly good it gets after the first chapter. Unless a bad fic's actually bad to the point of being crack funny, then it becomes enjoyable and worth my while. Mediocre meh fics, however . . . there's really too many of those (like 1000+?) I'm aware of for me to pinpoint just which one sucked the worst.
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Postby StratoSakuya...AF » Wed Feb 19, 2014 1:47 pm

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8769200/1/Teana-s-Travels-Book-13-Fallen-Messengers

TL;DR Teana's Travel's NGE chapter removed my precious Yaoi and replaced it with nigh-omniscient, borderline lemon YURI FOR NO GOOD REASON AND REFUSED TO RESTORE IT!

I'm planning a huge response to that, just you wait DKN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SO THERE I WAS BEING KUBO, WHEN THE EDITORS CAME IN AND WERE LIKE "YOU NEED TO DO MORE THAN PANELS OF WHITE PILLARS AND BLACKGROUNDS!" AND I WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU, I'M KUBO!" SO THEY WERE LIKE "WELL HOW ABOUT SOMEBODY DYING?" AND I WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU, I'M KUBO!" AND I MADE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY. I LOVE MY LIFE.

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Postby Mr. Tines » Wed Feb 19, 2014 1:56 pm

^
That sounds more like a recommendation in respect of an improvement than something for this thread :tongue:
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Postby StratoSakuya...AF » Wed Feb 19, 2014 3:43 pm

View Original PostMr. Tines wrote:^
That sounds more like a recommendation in respect of an improvement than something for this thread :tongue:


Including Yuri is fine. Replacing the Kaworu-Shinji Class S relationship with Yuri... Nope. :tongue:
SO THERE I WAS BEING KUBO, WHEN THE EDITORS CAME IN AND WERE LIKE "YOU NEED TO DO MORE THAN PANELS OF WHITE PILLARS AND BLACKGROUNDS!" AND I WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU, I'M KUBO!" SO THEY WERE LIKE "WELL HOW ABOUT SOMEBODY DYING?" AND I WAS LIKE "FUCK YOU, I'M KUBO!" AND I MADE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY. I LOVE MY LIFE.

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Postby amitakartok » Wed Feb 19, 2014 4:19 pm

That too is fine... as long as Kaworu/Shinji is the yuri. Then it's not just fine, it's hawt and awww-worthy.
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Postby driftking18594 » Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:36 pm

Kaworu is best girl, and K/S is best yuri.

Not really. :P

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Postby Rommel » Sat Feb 22, 2014 7:56 am

View Original PostLavinius wrote:I forget the name but it was really disgusting and fucked up and was some kind of really bizzare crossover and I have no idea how I came across it. And ^ that one. Also Power Plays but in a different way.


:Looks at your age:

What does the first line in PP say?

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Postby Dream » Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:00 am

View Original PostRommel wrote::Looks at your age:

What does the first line in PP say?


So your fanfics can shatter underage minds? Awesome.
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