FML General Thread [5]

[Squigsquasher]

Well, just discovered that I'll have to pay for college from 18 now instead of 19. I sure as hell hope the LEA is going to keep funding me, because there is no way I can afford college ATM, and me being in full-time education is all that's stopping my dad from being able to kick me out when I turn 18. On top of that, getting coursework/homework/college work done is causing me more stress than it's really worth.

Also, I have a massive pustule on my neck.

[Tankred]

Well, just discovered that I'll have to pay for college from 18 now instead of 19.

Woah when did that come into force? I seem to have possibly dodged a bullet.

[pwhodges]

Well, just discovered that I'll have to pay for college from 18 now instead of 19.

What kind of college are you speaking of?

[CJD]

After starting 2014 saying it looked to be great, I'm now two months in and in the worst and most persistent downswing in over a year. I'm sleeping 12+ hours most days, I can't bring myself to enjoy vidya, I'm falling behind and just outright ignoring my responsibilities, and I just can't bring myself to care about anything. I'm finding even the things I thought were positive are negatives. I just don't see the point anymore and I'm spending half my days sleeping and the majority of my waking hours in some half alive half dead metabolic state.

And I just.. you know I try to talk about it but I hate putting this on other people. Even worse its like everytime I try I"m misunderstood or it's a bad time or they just don't know what to say and it's awkward. And even when I do talk about it at best it's just a temporary relief and then the next day (if I'm lucky enough that it lasts that long) I feel the same and it's like I can't keep being a downer to someone every day.

I just don't know what to do at this point. I wish i had an easy way out but unfortunately I don't in my current situation, so as much as I may want to opt out ts not even a psossibility for me. So i'm just stuck here barely holding the pathetic thing I call my life together wishing I could let it all fall apart but I cna't because if I do itll be the final nail in my hopes and dreams coffin.

And i know i'm going to regret this tommorow but i don't care because I'm just so tired and god I just want the dark to end.

[Dream]

This morning i got into a pretty huge fight with my mother, but that is not really what this FML is about.

During the argument my mother threw the fact i was a NEET at my face (Well, kinda) and that served as a sort of catalyst for a deep discontent i had with how my life has been going these past few months. All the people i know who are the same age as me are working or in school or college while i am just... here. It mostly boils down to two problems i still do not know how to address: I cannot seem to find motivation and i have no idea of how or where to go in regards to studying.

For example, in art, i used to be able to study for 3 or 6 hours every day easily. Did not even feel like work. Nowadays i am lucky if i put in 30 minutes, and even that feels hard or very unmotivating. What changed? Have i gotten less pasionate? Did i become lazier? Did i acquire more or stronger distractions? Did my daily environment or routine change in such a way that drained my motivation? I have no idea. Somewhat related to the former, these past few months i simply had no goals or guidance to rely on. The teacher from my art class doesnt really tell me anything anymore and outside some stuff like color, practically all assignments i am given amount to the teacher handing me a copy of some art book or comic book figure and telling me to practice on my own. I honestly think i am much better off just studying by myself if that is how art class is going to be, but the problem is that art books aside the lack of guidance or clearly defined goals and progress has been bothering me. I do not have a teacher or art classmate that can provide feedback as i do, say, a still life and it can often be quite frustrating when i know something is wrong, but have no idea exactly what is wrong or how to fix it. And like i said, i do not really have a clear goal aside from vague milestone like getting to a professional level and such.

It has been pretty much the same with my distance education program, most of it i can easily do on my own but there are a few subjects i can not really handle on my own and there are not really any teachers or options avaiable.

So uhhhh, yeah. Sorry for ranting about this, its just that this has been bothering me for a really long time now and i have no idea what to do.

[Eleven]

After starting 2014 saying it looked to be great, I'm now two months in and in the worst and most persistent downswing in over a year.

I don't know you, CJD, but I am sorry, that you're having such a hard time. Some of what you described seems familiar to me.
Have you ever had professional help for these issues? A therapist maybe?

[Giji Shinka]

[quote="CJD":1rpt6dqo][/quote:1rpt6dqo]
Like Eleven said, it's probably a good idea if you get some help.

Another option: You can also start processing all this stuff alone, but it takes hell of a lot of mental energy and time (For me it took 6-8 months)
This option is definitely not for everyone.

I suggest that take option #1.

[Tokpile Quohog]

art stuff

pursuing a career in art is probably one of the most difficult things to do. Probably the most important thing to figure out is what direction you want to take your art and knowing your limits. Are you into concept art, illustration and design, commercial design, mechanical design, comics/books/animation? Do you really have the talent for it? Just looking through the internet there are tons of people with ridiculous talent and aren't able to turn that into professional success.

If art was really something you see yourself doing for the rest of your life, 3-6 hours a day definitely isn't gonna cut it, though it seems like you're still taking other classes and stuff so it might be understandable.

Regarding your art teacher. Is he/she more involved in guiding certain student/students in the class than others? It could be that the teacher just doesn't really give a shit or maybe the teacher doesn't see talent worth nurturing.

[Trajan]

I now know what the sophomore slump feels like. Of my five classes, there's only one I feel any kind of motivation to do work in anymore and I dislike the others to varying degrees.

Maybe I just need for spring break to get here.

[CJD]

Have you ever had professional help for these issues? A therapist maybe?

Been in the system largely my whole life. Since third grade there's only been about a 5 year period where I wasn't seeing someone, most of that weekly.

[CX1329]

My computer is giving me a hard time. I'm having all sorts of little issues that didn't exist before, like installers not working, icons not showing up on the system tray and not being able to connect to Steam. It might just be time to backup my files, so I won't lose everything should something go horribly wrong.

[KingXanaduu]

@CJD: I'm sorry you're feeling this way dude. :( And I would agree with Giji and Eleven, you may need to seek some professional help out of this slump. Maybe, you should give yourself a short-term goal to pursue, like try reading, writing, or exercising. Something to get you motivated.

@Dream: Do you need something to inspire you for your art Dream? And is your teacher the kind of guy that Tokpile was asking about?

[Princess Asuka]

So, now I have to be escorted to use the bathroom and to get a drink from the fountain, have to eat lunch in classroom (good thing, no snot nose bitch). Why? All because of the situation with the bitch she threatened me, denied it to the teachers, and I got upset at home said some things about her that were fitting, snot nose lies to get me in trouble because they always take her side, and I get into trouble. She spent the whole day giving me dirty looks, I wish she would disappear, I've never hated someone so much! I hope she learned not to fuck with me ever again. I'll admit she can be nice at times, but she severely lacks social skills.

[heavytread]

I'm not able to stay awake during the day and althrough out the day I feel asleep in each of my classes besides P.E. plus lunch and I woke up because the teachers woke me up before the bell rang.

Doesn't quite surprise me though I sleep most of the day anyway

[Kazuki_Fuse]

Not even home 48 hours and my brother has already been kicked out again. In a way this is more of a RML cause I don't like it when he's here, but I had to physically remove him from the house and I think he really fucked my shoulder when he tackled me on the driveway.

[Eleven]

Been in the system largely my whole life. Since third grade there's only been about a 5 year period where I wasn't seeing someone, most of that weekly.

And is it helpful? I know psychological problems need lots of time to heal.

[CJD]

If it was I don't think I'd still be seeing therapists after all these years.

[Eleven]

If it was I don't think I'd still be seeing therapists after all these years.

Could as well be quite the opposite. If it's not helpful, you could just give up seeing therapists.
Sorry, didn't mean to ask inappropriate questions.

[Dataprime]

That feeling when you think you see a light at the end of the tunnel and think you can overcome
that choking dark of depression but before you know it you are you are back to your old ways
again.
It's super hard sometimes...

[BrikHaus]

If it was I don't think I'd still be seeing therapists after all these years.

You are obviously getting some benefit (subconsciously - perhaps positive transference) from therapy, otherwise you wouldn't keep going for such a prolonged period of time. Good luck with it.