Interesting interviews, thanks for posting them 1731298478.

1731298478 wrote:I'm reading Enokido's October 13 memo right now and it's absolutely insane, in the sense "thank every god in heaven none of this happened." I'm deciding now whether to translate it all or post a summary.

But how could it be insane? It sounded boring enough earlier: 'To the extent it discusses the plot no changes are made; it's a "compositional memo."'

So I say translate it all.

gwern wrote:So I say translate it all.

I'm translating both Enokido memos and will post them soon!

1731298478 wrote:I'm translating both Enokido memos and will post them soon!

Here are translations of the two memos included with Enokido's interview. These translations were done quickly, and are rough, like everything else, so corrections are appreciated.

The first memo is a "group memo" taken down by Ikki Todoroki on the third day of the Atami retreat and contains a list of all the scenes expected to remain in the script. There are some interesting differences between this and the final film. The final scene appears to be a synthesis of the original Rei "suicide scene" and the "Shinji saves Rei" scenario.

The second memo is the one referred to in the interview above and is an attempt by Enokido to "develop" the Asuka-Mari rivalry. Only four pages of this memo are reproduced.

Edit: going to put my speculations/feelings/prejudices aside for the moment.

---------------------------------------------


"Evangelion New Theatrical Edition: Break" Screenplay Retreat Memo
2007/10/31 - 11/2 Atami

"Break" Outline

North Pole: Mari/Unit-05 versus the 3rd Angel

[On Lake ??]: Asuka/Unit-02 versus the 7th Angel (Main Staff Titles)

~ Main Title ~

- Graveyard: Gendo and Shinji visit Yui's grave
Rei's appearance in Gendo's VTOL aircraft.
Shinji returns in Misato's car. Regarding Operation Yashima: "Your father appreciates you, too." Shinji recognizes Misato's concern.

- Navy port? : Arrival of Unit-02
Misato and Shinji returning from Yui's grave.
Appearance of Mari as Unit-02's backup pilot.
Appearance of Kaji.

- Depiciton of everyday life
Kaji and Ritsuko.
Asuka and Mari become part of Shinji's class.
Asuka, Shinji, and Misato's daily life together. A conversation about Misato's scar and Second Impact?
Mari living at Hikari's house.

- Nerv HQ: Synchro Test
Mari's synchro rate exceeds Asuka's.

- The Moon: Gendo and Fuyutsuki observing Unit-06
Meeting with Kaworu.

- Aquarium: Shinji, Asuka, Mari, Hikari, Touji, Kensuke, Kaji
Everyone eats Bentos made by Mari and Hikari.
Rei understands the value of cooking.
Asuka is isolated.
Shinji calls Gendo but doesn't get through.
Kaji tells Shinji about Second Impact.

- Spaceship returning from the moon: Gendo and Fuyutsuki viewing the Earth's tragic appearance

- Attack of the 8th Angel
Mari selected as Unit-02's pilot. She is injured from the battle with the 3rd Angel, but instead of declining, she accepts.
Asuka is shocked.
Shinji asks Mari why she pilots. Mari talks about "severe reality."
A confrontation between Misato and Ritsuko concerning the pilots.

- Battle with the 8th Angel: A victory where Unit-01 takes the leading role
Shinji is praised by Gendo.
"What Misato said was true." Shinji and Misato make eye contact.
Unit-00 and Unit-02 are partly damaged.

- Depiction of everyday life
Conversation between Rei and Shinj. "You seemed like a mother."
Shinji makes Bentos for everybody. Rei, Hikari, Mari, and Asuka eating them.
Conversation between Touji and Shinji. "You've changed."
Rei's room. "Thank you. Words of gratitude. The first time I've used them."

- Rei's tank - A meal with the commander
Rei in the tank. Gendo and Ritsuko, "Rei no Kankei". [Rei's connection? A conversation connected with Rei??]
Rei invites Gendo to a dinner party with Shinji.

- Nerv HQ Lounge - Watermelon Patch
Conversation between Kaji and Shinji. "Something good happened?" "Somewhat." "You gained some self-confidence?" "A little bit."

- Rei's room - School
Rei practicing cooking.

~ Eyecatch ~

- Misato's Apartment
Asuka making Miso soup. She knows about Rei's plans for her dinner party.

- Unit-04's disappearance
Explanation of Eva's relation to world affairs.
Discussion regarding the Unit-03 activation experiment.

- Preparation for the Unit-03 activation experiment
Unit-02 goes to Sasebo (is this necessary?)
Gendo has the dummy plug installed in Unit-01. Conversation between Maya and Ritsuko.

- Who is the pilot of Unit-03?
Unit-03's activation on the same day Rei plans to have her dinner party.
Asuka understands Rei's feelings for Shinji.
Asuka declares herself a candidate to pilot Unit-03.
Rei phones Asuka "Thank you."
Touji's sister leaving the hospital.

- Unit-03 activation experiment
Conversation between Asuka and Misato. "It's a nice feeling to talk to someone."
Unit-03 taken over by the 9th Angel.

- Battle against Unit-03
Unit-01's dummy plug is installed.
Kaworu watching what happens to Asuka (アスカの成り行きを見ているカヲル).
Shinji refusing to destroy Unit-03 ("I won't do anything" Shinji)
Unit-01 switches over to the dummy system.
Unit-01 crushes Unit-03's entry plug. Asuka, terribly injured.

- Nerv Headquarters
A rebellious Shinji remains inside Unit-01.
Shinji faints due to increased LCL pressure. Unit-01's power stopped.

- Hospital
Rei in the lobby holding a Bento box.
Shinji's dream. "I couldn't forgive my father's betrayal." And so on.

- Nerv Command Room
Conversation between Shinji and Gendo. "I don't want to pilot Eva anymore."

- Shinji leaves Nerv
Hikari, Kensuke, Touji call Shinji.
Ritsuko talking to someone. "Rei, she didn't cry."
Shinji's DAT player abandoned in a garbage container.
Rei's room, abandoned cooking utensils.

- Considering the Location (is the scene itself necessary?)
Conversation between a departing Shinji and Misato. Conversation with Mari?

- 10th Angel Attacks
Nerv battles an Angel that invades the Geofront. The Angel shrugs off every attack.

- Shelter - ?
Shinji sees the tragedy of the ordinary people (Nerv staff members?).

- Nerv Command Centre
Unit-01 refuses the dummy plug. Gendo facing the cage.

- Watermelon Patch
Coversation between Mari and Shinji. (At the time of the Unit-03 affair, protect Asuka or kill her and protect the world, there was nothing you could do).

- 10th Angel versus Unit-00
Unit-00 plunges forward with a bomb. Unit-00 is seriously damaged and can no longer fight.
The Angel eats Unit-00. In headquarters, Rei's signal vanishes.

- Watermelon Patch / Geofront
Shinji decides and stars running. Shinji struggles over rubble and other obstacles.

- Nerv Headquarters
The Angel penetrates into headquarters.
Gendo faces a wounded Shinji covered with blood.
"Let me pilot."

- 10th Angel versus Unit-01 (1)
Eva-01 plunges into the command centre.
Eva-01 is shot into the geofront and attempts to tear Unit-00 apart from the Angel.

- Angel becomes the "corroding type"
Rei's heart wants to be one with Shinji. Unit-00 (taken in by the Angel) corrodes Unit-01.
Unit-01 is accepting and nonresistant. "So you came to trust Rei that deeply, Shinji-kun?" [そんなにレイに心を許していたのね, シンジ君. In the storyboard, そんなに is そんなにまで and the line is spoken by Ritsuko.]
Unit-01 is near its power limit.
Rei begins to self-destruct.

- 10th Angel versus Unit-01 (2)
Unit-01's power limit reached.
Unit-01 goes berserk.
400% synchro rate, furious Shinji. Unit-01 plunges its body (arm?) into the Angel. In the same way, Shinji stretches out his arm inside the entry plug. Rei's hand materializes; when Shinji pulls her out, her body materializes.
The berserk doesn't stop; Unit-01 transforms into a giant of light.
Unit-01 destroys the Angel with overwhelming power.

- Unit-06 Arrives
Suddenly, a spear flies in. Unit-01's berserk is halted.
Unit-06 enters the atmosphere. Removes Unit-01's entry plug.
Fuyutsuki and Gendo's conversation. "Finally, he has come." "From here, everything begins."
The reunion of Kaworu and Shinji.

~ To be continued ~

Concerning Mari:

- A character like Wato-san from "The Three-Eyed One."
The type who will suddenly initiate physical contact.
"Boku" character
She has very serious thoughts. The most adult of all the pilots.

- Mari lives together with Hikari in Hikari's house. They are close friends (Asuka's position in the previous work). They make Bentos together, and so on.
- She has the names of the pets she has kept tattooed along her back.

- Asuka thinks Mari is just the backup pilot for Unit-02.
She calls Mari "Hoketsu" [substitute].

Other things:

- Concerning the battle with 8th Angel.
At the time of the operation, Unit-02 flies in via transport?
The 8th Angel materializes from a vortex of clouds resembling the eye of a typhoon.

- When the dummy plug system is put into operation, the dummy plug's "human model" [ヒト型] pins down Shinji's body so he can't escape.

End

Participants: Hideaki ANNO, MASAYUKI, Kazuya TSURUMAKI, Youji ENOKIDO, Ikki TODOROKI.
Memo taken down by: Ikki TODOROKI.


---------------------------------------------

Evangelion New Theatrical Edition: Break
Organizational Plan Draft
2007/10/13 Youji ENOKIDO

The major elements of the story are fundamentally unchanged.
Mari and Asuka's development will be slightly altered.

At the beginning, after the battle with the Angel at the Arctic Branch, Mari and Kaji return together to Japan.

On the way, Mari destroys an Angel with Unit-02.

Asuka arrives seperately, at the same time as Mari and Kaji.
As both Asuka and Mari are designated pilots of Unit-02, they have a rivalry.
Because Asuka believes that she is unquestionably the true pilot and Mari is a spare, she is especially strongly attached to Unit-02.
Mari is more composed than Asuka, and appears to be interested in Shinji instead.

After the synchro test results, it is decided that Mari is to be Unit-02's true pilot.
Asuka is shocked.
When the Angel that falls from the sky is defeated, Mari is piloting.
The operation succeeds, but Unit-02 is heavily damaged.

Unit-03 arrives in Japan, and Asuka is chosen as the pilot.
Asuka is delighted. But there is a tragedy.

When Shinji revolts against Gendou and abadons Eva, Mari persuades him to pilot again.

- "Old" North Pole (Pages 1-2)
The scene by itself is not changed. Only:
One thing pertaining to Mari's character development.
Mari is portrayed as the exclusive pilot of provisional Evangelion Unit-05, but Unit-05 is in the care of the Arctic Base; conversely, it is to be clearly indicated that she is there temporarily to safeguard the third angel's seal, and was originally the pilot of Unit-02.
In brief, in this work Asuka and Mari become rivals to pilot Unit-02.
In this case, it's probably necessary to slightly alter scenes, adding lines like "you're not much like Asuka-chan."

- Pacific Ocean - Old Izu-Area Waters (Pages 2-3)
One is reminded of a return to the naval fleet transport scene from Episode 8, but the attacking angel is different.
Unit-02 stands on the deck of a ship to meet the angel's attack.
Kaji gazes at the frame of Unit-02, shining deep crimson beneath the open sky.
But, the pilot in the cockpit - is Mari.
Proceeding from the opening scene, Kaji accompianies Mari on her transfer.
So Asuka is not aboard the naval fleet.
Mari destroys the angel with Unit-02.

- The military transport vessel arrives in port (Pages 3-4)
Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke watch Evangelion Unit-02 arriving.
Asuka arrives via a VTOL aircraft (or something similar).
She arrives by herself from Germany.
Asuka, who is convinced she is the exclusive pilot of Unit-02, boasts to Shinji and his friends about Unit-02 (as in the script).
But, Asuka is shocked when she sees Mari emerge wearing Unit-02's plug suit.
"You used Unit-02 without my permission?!"
Furthermore, when she sees Mari's behaviour with Kaji, she is shocked once again.

- At school - Year 2 Class A (Page 4)
Asuka and Mari are moving into their new places.
Asuka introduces herself as "The true pilot of Evangelion Unit-02."
Meanwhile, Mari's reaction to seeing Shinji.

- At school - By the school gate (Page 6)
Asuka no longer becomes friends with Hikari.
Or, somehow worried about Asuka, Hikari is about to call out to her, but she is interrupted by Mari calling out to Hikari, etc.

- (Pages 7-8, in and around the scene where Asuka moves into Misato's place --)
Insert a scene with Mari living at Hikari's house.
"I don't like living alone. (For this reason she kept many cats and dogs, etc.)"
"I already have two sisters living here, so one more person doesn't matter."
Mari becomes friends with Hikari.
In short, by becoming the pilot of Unit-02, arriving with Kaji, becoming friends with Hikari, and so, on, Mari usurps Asuka's position in this world.
Mari herself has no evil intention, but Asuka is overtaken.
It's not related to the main story, but if we insert a scene with Hikari's sisters in pyjamas or changing clothes, we can hope for the "economic result of the African Campaign in Gundam" (ガンダムのアフリカ戦線経済結果).

- Facility for the Preservation of Saltwater Sealife (Page 8 onwards)
Mari also comes along.
Hikari and Mari have already become intimate friends.
Hikari and Mari have made an O-bentou together, and so on.
* * *
Shinji has been wondering about Asuka and her desire to pilot Eva.
This is because he truly did not want to pilot Eva.

- The Falling Angel (Page 12 onwards)
The Asuka and Mari Synchro Test scene is inserted here. Mari's synchro rate is higher. As in the TV version, Asuka is on her period. (Despite absolutely not wanting children)
The operation to destroy the falling angel begins.
It is decided that Rei will pilot Unit-00, Shinji will pilot Unit-01, and Mari will pilot Unit-02.
Asuka is shocked.

- Rei and Asuka in the Elevator (advancing the scene on page 18)
Mari is present.
Rei comments on Asuka's low synchro rate.
Asuka becomes furious.

[Pages 4-5 excluded]

PAGE SIX

- Watermelon Field (Page 47)
The intense fight between the angel and Unit-00.
In a somewhat isolated place, so Shinji just stands and stares at the fight.
He stands in Kaji's watermelon field.
Mari arrives at the watermelon field.
Shinji and Mari meet and stare at one another.
In the background the battle between Unit-00 and the angel contines.
"Why don't you fight? Aside from you no one can do anything; only you can do something, right?"
"......."
"....... so, you got angry because Asuka was hurt? You're angry at the adults who sacrificed Asuka? You've just rebelled against the ways of adults? You've just rebelled against your father?"
"......"
"If you don't fight, everybody dies. In the end, both Asuka and Rei will die...."
* * *
Unit-00 battle scene. Rei engaging in a difficult battle.
* * *
"Even if Commander Ikari sacrificed Asuka, he did it to protect everyone... but you won't even do that?"
"......"
Suddenly Shinji pushes Mari to the ground. (Or she possibly collapses as a result of an explosion?) One [or more?] watermelon[s] bounce[s] and break[s] apart. The red juices stain both of their bodies.
"These are the watermelons Kaji was raising," Shinji mutters. "They were important to him. But I have no important memories or anything else important to me..."
* * *
Reflection insert (page 19 onwards).
Gendou: Human beings live on by forgetting their memories, but there are some things one must not erase.
* * *
"Just think about it..." Mari says. "Think about it a little. Maybe, right now, there's nothing important and worth protecting for you in this world. But..."
"! (Surprised Shinji)"
Mari now:
A) Kisses Shinji
B) [REDACTED]
C) [REDACTED]

[All pages after 6 excluded]

Incredibly bizarre stuff. I do wish Mari's conversation with Shinji about responsibility for Asuka's death had made into into the movie, but just about everything else is...what the fuck.

The more I read about Mari, the more I realize that it's not some super-elaborate plan, they just actually don't have a single fucking clue what they're doing with her besides, "uh...she's, um...different."

Also, I just noticed "reunion between Kaworu and Shinji." Insert Fan Fiction Friday facemelt here.

...

It's interesting that they had originally considered the idea of a rivalry between Asuka and Mari over Eva-02, because that idea was played with quite a bit (albeit with some other specifics that don't match up here) in several continuities in the EGF NGE roleplay channel on Rizon.

esselfortium wrote:It's interesting that they had originally considered the idea of a rivalry between Asuka and Mari over Eva-02

To look at that - specifically the particular of Mari beating her in sync ratio - it seems as if they were trying to work some of NGE Shinji's qualities off onto her. And then when he mentions her being a friend of Hikari's, like Soryu - I almost wonder if they weren't using the character as a dumping ground for character quirks in the hope that they came up with something good. Urk.

Or they coudl've had some wonky sequel-ish thing going on with her--why do they go to such lengths to emphasize that she's usurped original!Asuka's life? Also, "Meanwhile, Mari's reaction to seeing Shinji," suggests...well I hate to say it, but...Soryu in disguise?

Lucretius wrote:Or they coudl've had some wonky sequel-ish thing going on with her--why do they go to such lengths to emphasize that she's usurped original!Asuka's life? Also, "Meanwhile, Mari's reaction to seeing Shinji," suggests...wellm I hate to say it, but...Soryu in disguise?

Given the way she behaves around him, I can't say that's the conclusion I come to. I'm just not sure what exactly Enokido has against Asuka, that he puts shit like "In short, by becoming the pilot of Unit-02, arriving with Kaji, becoming friends with Hikari, and so, on, Mari usurps Asuka's position in this world" in his design memos.

I was thinking that Mari was original!Asuka after gaining some sort of transcendent knowledge or something. The bit about "Mari's reaction to seeing Shinji" suggests she's seen him before, I thought. And then there's the unused "anta baka" storyboards. It's true her dialogue doesn't sound very Asuka-ish, though. Or maybe Enokido just hates Asuka and likes Mari? :/

In any case, the line about Kaworu's reunion with Shinji certainly makes it sound like some sequel shit was planned.

Man, and i thought the present version of Mari was a bit Mary Sue-ish. These memos are one step away from including a scene where she discovers a universal cure for all forms of cancer when she has five minutes to spare.

Also, that bit where she pontificates about survival and then goes to smooch Shinji? Almost a one on one ripoff of Misato's last scene from EoE, mixed with Kaji's scene from Ep. 19.

Coming up with an original character for her seemed like a task that was out of the grasp of the writers. Compared to this "a little bit of everyone, but mostly Asuka" approach the final version seems like an improvement in terms of truly providing a character with a fresh personality.

On another note, these drafts seem to invalidate the "putting Asuka into Eva-03 was a last minute decision" theory. Aside from cooking and bentos that's the only thing that's consistent in all versions.

Anyways, i hope they don't seriously plan on pulling a Diebuster and declaring NME to be a sequel. They can't be THAt cheap, can they?

1731298478 wrote:It's not related to the main story, but if we insert a scene with Hikari's sisters in pyjamas or changing clothes, we can hope for a "'Gundam's African Front'-like Economic Result."

Then again... they can be even cheaper.

SaltyJoe wrote:On another note, these drafts seem to invalidate the "putting Asuka into Eva-03 was a last minute decision" theory. Aside from cooking and bentos that's the only thing that's consistent in all versions.

That, but also in a more general sense, it seems that making Asuka's life miserable was about the only plan that was kept consistently in mind, as everything else changed around it. It's interesting to note that the removal of her relationships with Hikari and Kaji were apparently not done for time constraints, but were consciously removed.

The second draft there is really just baffling. It's an entire movie about Asuka not doing things. More to the point, it's about Mari completely taking over her life in every possible way, allowing her to accomplish absolutely nothing at all prior to Eva-03.

Considering that putting her in Eva-03 was decided on 'to prevent her from becoming a minor character', the second draft in which that's practically all she does is totally bizarre. That draft could have made a lot of dramatic sense if they took Mari-who-does-Asuka-things and just called her "Asuka", and put her in Eva-03. As it is, it couldn't possibly be much weirder.

But this is just scratching the surface of the totally absurd and awful things Luc, Seele, and I talked about regarding these drafts tonight. And it really feels to me like the resultant film is covering a lot of similar ground, just without beating you over the head with it quite so much. And it gives me more trepidation than ever about where they might be planning to take things from here.

The thing that really boggles my mind is that they intended to introduce Mari as Asuka, only better... and then, they threw away that concept almost completely for the finished product.

I mean, she has almsot zero interactions with any of the other characters instead of being some high flying social epicenter, and i feel that there are even some contradictions in her personality from the draft compared to the final version. Maybe i'm just unimaginative, but the image of the super mature pilot who lectures Shinji in the face of Apocalypse doesn't really mash with a character who goes "Nyaa!" before jumping at Zeruel.

So really, i'm under the impression that Mari's main and probably only purpose so far was to shake up the status quo in the mind of old fans (while getting some toys sold, of course), while allowing the bigger plot to go in a certain direction (that i can't really see, not that's a bad thing), and the how for doing that was secondary.

Or Tsurumaki just bitched at Anno persuasively enough to avoid the movie turning into an utter Asuka hatefic/trollfest.

Another thing: Enokido's statements about trying to resolve the issue of "the overpwoering charaters of Rei and Asuka" by making Mari another version of Asuka seems pretty contradictory to me.

EDIT:
A few tidbits

Lucretius wrote:The bit about "Mari's reaction to seeing Shinji" suggests she's seen him before

Yeah, probably on board the carrier transporting Unit-02. Shinji was there, too.

1731298478 wrote:- Angel becomes the "corroding type"
(...)
Unit-01 is accepting and nonresistant. "So you have yielded your heart to Rei, Shinji-kun?"

Wait, who speaks that line? Yui (Unit-01? This is my hunch, but i still ask for clarification)? Kaworu? Mari?

SaltyJoe wrote:Wait, who speaks that line? Yui (Unit-01)? Kaworu? Mari?

I should have included the Japanese for that line, since it's really ambiguous, especially in the context, and I might not even have correctly understood it. It's "そんなにレイに心を許していたのね, シンジ君". There's no indication who it is that says it. Those three are good possibilities.

SaltyJoe wrote:Or Tsurumaki just bitched at Anno persuasively enough to avoid the movie turning into an utter Asuka hatefic/trollfest.

You'd think it would have been the other way around, since the only big-time Asukafag [s]in Japan[/s] at Gainax is Anno himself.

Enokido talks about Asuka a little bit more in the next part of the interview, and we also find out he was responsible for the inclusion of an Asuka/Shinji bedroom scene. I'll try to post that soon.