I liked the story in general... nice plotting scheme with the 'flashbacks of the future', especially. I still think the last chapter was mostly irrelevant and could have been compressed into the previous one though, as I said in my review on FF.net.
Comic looks cute so far. When I read the description I actually expected it to be more snippets from the alternate future rather than a continuation.
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Rest In Peace ~ 1978 - 2017
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno
"I'd consider myself a realist, alright? but in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. It means I'm bad at parties." - Rust Cohle
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"The internet: It's like a training camp for never amounting to anything." - Oglaf
"I think internet message boards and the like are dangerous." - Anno
*shrug* Got mixed reactions to that and had expected as much. If I hadn't done it this way I couldn't have done the typical hinting/teasing, unless you mean I should have slapped the entire thing at the end of "Final". But that would have just ended up in a huge wall of text. I've already stripped it down quite a bit, so there wasn't much room for more cuts, in my eyes at least.NemZ wrote:I liked the story in general... nice plotting scheme with the 'flashbacks of the future', especially. I still think the last chapter was mostly irrelevant and could have been compressed into the previous one though, as I said in my review on FF.net.
However, I'm aware that the climax is over in "Final" already and that's why I posted the two chapters relatively close to each other. Actually, the only reason I didn't posted them both at once was to leave the cliffhanger hanging for a while... and to get more reviews... >_>
I'm thinking of doing some bonus pages of that time, but I've done most of what I had planned to in "raise". Aki getting accustomed to the normal life offered more potential, also because I had to leave out several things from the epilogue... epilogue so that it wouldn't bloat up even more (reason I used "Shinji's Lovely Suite" at all, Asuka playing the "I have more experience with this"-card against Misato...)NemZ wrote:Comic looks cute so far. When I read the description I actually expected it to be more snippets from the alternate future rather than a continuation.
- BLACKANGEL32076
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Wanted to do this yesterday already, but I was behind my schedule...
Well, Ritsuko will appear within this chapter, but granted, more as "one of the bunch". I might scratch on other's individual lives here and there, but yeah, it probably wont go much beyond what was mentioned in the epilogue. Fuyutsuki though... that might finally be an idea for chapter 2. So, thanks. Have a new page in return: http://jimmywolk.studenten-froendenberg.de/eng/aki.php?browse.1.7BLACKANGEL32076 wrote:Dude, "Aki-chan" is the perfect ending to "2nd Try." I am interested in how Kozo, Ritsuko and the other's lives were post-"Final" as well, but I think you have your hands full with just Aki.
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Heh, I was reading the prolouge and up to chapter 1.8, I thought this is adorable.
This REALLY gives me Sailor Moon vibes with the whole "Daughter from the future that pretends to be the heroine's cousin" aspect though. XD (Chibiusa/Rini...)
Anyway, I can't wait to see more. I'll probably have to read your fics to understand what's going on though. Good job so far!
This REALLY gives me Sailor Moon vibes with the whole "Daughter from the future that pretends to be the heroine's cousin" aspect though. XD (Chibiusa/Rini...)
Anyway, I can't wait to see more. I'll probably have to read your fics to understand what's going on though. Good job so far!
~Take care of yourself, I need you~
Sailor Star Dust wrote:This REALLY gives me Sailor Moon vibes with the whole "Daughter from the future that pretends to be the heroine's cousin" aspect though. XD (Chibiusa/Rini...)Lol. I didn't even think about that, though. A cousin just seemed the most natural choice for a family member that wouldn't raise much questions. XD
That cover was pretty much blown right there anyway. Lesson of 1.7: If you make plans to deceive others, make sure everyone involved in the act knows about/understands it. :P
Hmm, weren't you in my ff.net alert stats?Sailor Star Dust wrote:Anyway, I can't wait to see more. I'll probably have to read your fics to understand what's going on though.
But if you haven't, then yes, you should. Not necessarily to understand AcL, but to make me feel happy. ^^
- BLACKANGEL32076
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Didn't want to make an all new topic, so... name change.
Just wanted to announce that I'm currently moving out at the moment and will likely be off the net for awhile. Don't know how long, could be anything from a few hours to a few weeks (hopefully not).
This is also concerning the state of the second chapter of Aki-chan's Life. I'm pretty much done with script and "storyboard", and if I had tried I guess I *could* have had some pages ready by now. But with the move on the horizon (though it dragged out much longer than intended - was supposed to be on the 1st already), I thought it wouldn't be wise to leave you hanging in between the chapter for an unknown time, making the wait all the much harder. I hope I can use the upcoming off-time to work on it to have something ready for you as soon as I'm back.
In the meantime, I have a small "bye for now"-present: The Ikaris Chapter 6!
(alt: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1430808/6/The_Ikaris
http://www.darkscribes.org/story/78/6 )
Yes, that's right, it's back from the grave. For now...
Just remember, things that take longer aren't always better. But that should go without saying. After all, it's "Ikaris"... >_>
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Enjoying it thus far
Dr. Trans Old Fashioned Peppermint Dickables
http://pshbling.deviantart.com/gallery/ Go there for Eva cosplay.
http://pshbling.deviantart.com/gallery/ Go there for Eva cosplay.
Spured by http://forum.evageeks.org/viewtopic.php?t=7270 I've been trying to dig up what I had left of my old idea of a take on that Western Eva theme. Inspired by the "Shinji and Friends" thing, here's what I remember:
-Several years ago, the Angel gang was terrorizing the west. But one day, their leader Adam was finally caught, killing many men before he was brought down, including one Marshal Katsuragi. It was unknown where he was brought. Big problem for the rest, as he was the only one with the knowledge where the gangs loot was (not sure if he'd hidden it early before or if the others were a bit too trustworthy(/stupid)). They split up, some forming their own gangs, most working alone, everyone trying to go after the loot themselves. And not just them...
-These several years later, it becomes known that Adam was brought/transferred to the NERV High Security prison, drawing the former members of the Angel gang towards New Tokyo, near the prison.
-I'm not quite sure how Shinji got Sheriff, but I think it was something about him being a natural with the gun, maybe proving that ability by accident during the fight with the first arriving ex-Angel, the youngest of the group, Sachiel (protecting farmer daughter Rei?) as he just got back home himself.
-Don't remember if I had meant Fuyutsuki as Mayor (maybe it was even Misato (you know, Major-Mayor), but I doubt it given her appearance in the source, which I had tried to stick to), but I remember "everyone knowing The old Ikari being the one having the last say".
-Ramiel - sniper duel, obviously. Rei, protecting him, etc. (
)
- Shinji meets Asuka Langley Soryu, a ruthless Bounty Hunter who has her own score to settle with the Angels, halfway on the way to New Tokyo. She's accompanied by Kaji transporting ??? and "unnecessarily" the cavalry. Gaghiel does a quick ambush and rides off, Asuka and Shinji following. They end up getting caught together in his lasso and are dragged along to his amusement, until they combine their strength to pull him off his horse to have him finished off by the cavalrymen.
-The Israfel Brothers: Former circus artists, known for their perfectly fluid, synchronized moves that "make them look like one". Naturally, Asuka and Shinji have to learn matching up (
I'm pretty sure I also had better version of this with the brothers talking about how AS seem to think they were only one person, wondering how "he" can be so fast to take both of them on at the same time)
- Sahaquiel: The explosives expert. Starts blowing random parts of the city up, before starting a bombing run, enough dynamite with him to blow the entire town to pieces. RAS try to intercept. (I was sure I had a concept art for him too, but I can't seem to find it)
- Bardiel: An Indian Shaman who was banned from his tribe for his evil mindset and joined the Angels soon after. He uses his powers to take control over Toji, just recently made deputy. (
)
- Zeruel: Pretty simply, a huge brute. He's mostly out for revenge for his younger brother Sachiel though than taking on New Tokyo and NERV prison (Again, was sure I had some concept art, but apparently not on my comp).
- Arael: A sadist gifted with a perfect memory. He likes using the knowledge he has of his victims to torment them. When his men catch Asuka, he decides to hang her, just like the Angels had done with her mother who did the mistake of opposing them. Rei, using the Longinus rifle, shoots Arael and the noose off ()
- Kaworu/Tabris: Sent by governor Keel himself as new deputy, makes friends with Shinji. But as it turns out, he's actually Adam's son Tabris, using his position to sneak into NERV prison. However, it turns out that Adam had long died behind bars, the whole thing just a scheme to lure the former Angels into a trap. Shinji finally having caught up to him, they meet in a final duel... in which for some reason, Kaworu doesn't seem to draw as fast as he usually did...
Anyways, there's obviously quite some holes, especially in regards to sci-fi/spiritual stuff that's mostly thrown out in the western setting (aside from Bard). Rei's origins, for example, since cloning is pretty much out of the question. Would she be Yui's late child Shinji doesn't know of, or "just" a distant cousin? Or of course the EVAs, would they be the horses, the guns, would they still have the mothers' souls? Also the remaining Angels: I guess Shamshel could be some guy wielding two whips, but what about, say, Iruel? I dunno about Lilith, I'm pretty sure I had her involved somehow, but I don't remember how anymore.
So in other words, I had pretty much just ideas for random scenes rather than a full story adaptation, which is probably the major reason I never followed the idea much further and don't really intend to anymore (for now). So if anyone's interested, it's up for grabbing. :P
-Several years ago, the Angel gang was terrorizing the west. But one day, their leader Adam was finally caught, killing many men before he was brought down, including one Marshal Katsuragi. It was unknown where he was brought. Big problem for the rest, as he was the only one with the knowledge where the gangs loot was (not sure if he'd hidden it early before or if the others were a bit too trustworthy(/stupid)). They split up, some forming their own gangs, most working alone, everyone trying to go after the loot themselves. And not just them...
-These several years later, it becomes known that Adam was brought/transferred to the NERV High Security prison, drawing the former members of the Angel gang towards New Tokyo, near the prison.
-I'm not quite sure how Shinji got Sheriff, but I think it was something about him being a natural with the gun, maybe proving that ability by accident during the fight with the first arriving ex-Angel, the youngest of the group, Sachiel (protecting farmer daughter Rei?) as he just got back home himself.
-Don't remember if I had meant Fuyutsuki as Mayor (maybe it was even Misato (you know, Major-Mayor), but I doubt it given her appearance in the source, which I had tried to stick to), but I remember "everyone knowing The old Ikari being the one having the last say".
-Ramiel - sniper duel, obviously. Rei, protecting him, etc. (
SPOILER: Show
- Shinji meets Asuka Langley Soryu, a ruthless Bounty Hunter who has her own score to settle with the Angels, halfway on the way to New Tokyo. She's accompanied by Kaji transporting ??? and "unnecessarily" the cavalry. Gaghiel does a quick ambush and rides off, Asuka and Shinji following. They end up getting caught together in his lasso and are dragged along to his amusement, until they combine their strength to pull him off his horse to have him finished off by the cavalrymen.
-The Israfel Brothers: Former circus artists, known for their perfectly fluid, synchronized moves that "make them look like one". Naturally, Asuka and Shinji have to learn matching up (
SPOILER: Show
I'm pretty sure I also had better version of this with the brothers talking about how AS seem to think they were only one person, wondering how "he" can be so fast to take both of them on at the same time
- Sahaquiel: The explosives expert. Starts blowing random parts of the city up, before starting a bombing run, enough dynamite with him to blow the entire town to pieces. RAS try to intercept. (I was sure I had a concept art for him too, but I can't seem to find it)
- Bardiel: An Indian Shaman who was banned from his tribe for his evil mindset and joined the Angels soon after. He uses his powers to take control over Toji, just recently made deputy. (
SPOILER: Show
- Zeruel: Pretty simply, a huge brute. He's mostly out for revenge for his younger brother Sachiel though than taking on New Tokyo and NERV prison (Again, was sure I had some concept art, but apparently not on my comp).
- Arael: A sadist gifted with a perfect memory. He likes using the knowledge he has of his victims to torment them. When his men catch Asuka, he decides to hang her, just like the Angels had done with her mother who did the mistake of opposing them. Rei, using the Longinus rifle, shoots Arael and the noose off (
SPOILER: Show
Note, unlike my current works, these read from left to right - if you can read them at all, so I'll try:
Not quite sure myself; no idea why this is cut off. But I guess it's something along the lines of "Ah, yes, I remember you!"
"You better be a good little girl... because bad little girls will end up like this. - Goodbye, little girl. Better pray that you'll never stand in our way like your mother did!"
"Well, it seems like you didn't listen to my advice... I guess then you'll have to die just like your mother..." "NO, PLEASE!"
"NO! Just shoot me already!" "Too late, little girl... Like mother, like daughter..." "And by her of all people..."
Not quite sure myself; no idea why this is cut off. But I guess it's something along the lines of "Ah, yes, I remember you!"
"You better be a good little girl... because bad little girls will end up like this. - Goodbye, little girl. Better pray that you'll never stand in our way like your mother did!"
"Well, it seems like you didn't listen to my advice... I guess then you'll have to die just like your mother..." "NO, PLEASE!"
"NO! Just shoot me already!" "Too late, little girl... Like mother, like daughter..." "And by her of all people..."
- Kaworu/Tabris: Sent by governor Keel himself as new deputy, makes friends with Shinji. But as it turns out, he's actually Adam's son Tabris, using his position to sneak into NERV prison. However, it turns out that Adam had long died behind bars, the whole thing just a scheme to lure the former Angels into a trap. Shinji finally having caught up to him, they meet in a final duel... in which for some reason, Kaworu doesn't seem to draw as fast as he usually did...
Anyways, there's obviously quite some holes, especially in regards to sci-fi/spiritual stuff that's mostly thrown out in the western setting (aside from Bard). Rei's origins, for example, since cloning is pretty much out of the question. Would she be Yui's late child Shinji doesn't know of, or "just" a distant cousin? Or of course the EVAs, would they be the horses, the guns, would they still have the mothers' souls? Also the remaining Angels: I guess Shamshel could be some guy wielding two whips, but what about, say, Iruel? I dunno about Lilith, I'm pretty sure I had her involved somehow, but I don't remember how anymore.
So in other words, I had pretty much just ideas for random scenes rather than a full story adaptation, which is probably the major reason I never followed the idea much further and don't really intend to anymore (for now). So if anyone's interested, it's up for grabbing. :P
Sound like a pretty good idea, all in all. I could maybe give you some feedback if you come up with a draft or something.
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- Sailor Star Dust
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AcL Chapter 2 is complete!
Download here: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?y1zmnmgnmny (chapter 1: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?n22jwxz2mtt )
But of course, comments on the site are always welcomed: http://jimmywolk.studenten-froendenberg.de/eng/aki.php ;)
Last edited by JimmyWolk on Sat Feb 13, 2010 3:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hey, neat! Downloading now.
I liked the lost Aki sequence in this chapter, the parallels with the previous generation made me chuckle.
I liked the lost Aki sequence in this chapter, the parallels with the previous generation made me chuckle.
---
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one insists on adapting the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
- George Bernard Shaw
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one insists on adapting the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
- George Bernard Shaw
Your art is getting pretty good, too. I might have to commission you. :p
My Stuff ...
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