Postby NAveryW » Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:58 pm
The truth is, if someone who had never seen the show insisted you explain the entire premise, there's no way you could keep it from sounding EXTREMELY insane.
EXPLAINER: "Well, a meteor crashed into the earth in 2000 in an event known as Second Impact, and now in 2015 these huge, strange creatures called Angels start attacking again (as apparently they were there in 2000), and robots called Evangelions were developed to fight them. One of the leads of the NERV (the developers of the Evangelions), Gendo Ikari, called his son Shinji, whom he had previously disowned, to pilot one of the Evas. At first, he didn't want to pilot it, but then he saw how the previous pilot, a blue-haired girl named Rei Ayanami who looks bizarrely like his mother, had been terribly injured in combat and he didn't want to force that upon her again. He defeats the Angel and moves in with Misato Katsuragi, the woman who took him to NERV, who also has a genetically manipulated warm-water penguin who lives in her freezer and drinks beer. Then there's something about toothpicks, but I'm not quite sure what. So Shinji transfers schools, and this guy named Toji hates him because he squished his sister, but then they get to be friends during the next phallic Angel fight. Also, he makes a friend named Kensuke. Toji and Kensuke think Misato is hot. Then, Shinji accidentally walks in on Rei naked and accidentally gropes her. Next, Rei and Shinji fight a big octahedron Angel with a big laser. Rei doesn't know how to react, so Shinji tells her to smile and she smiles. Also, a red-haired Amerigerm girl named Asuka Langley Soryu moves in with Shinji and Misato and she yells at Shinji and stuff, but she really loves Kaji, a man who apparently works for NERV, but doesn't really, and who had a past relationship with Misato. Kaji also gave the first Angel (Adam, who was also the first human) to Gendo. Also, there's another Angel who's also Adam crucified on a huge red cross down in NERV's basement. I forgot to mention, by the way, that it wasn't really a meteor that caused Second Impact; it was actually an Angel. So Rei, Shinji and Asuka fight some more angels in the Evangelions, which aren't really robots but giant Angel clones with the souls of their dead mothers inside them, and then Shinji's Evangelion goes crazy, breaks free of her bindings, eats an Angel, assimilates Shinji, and then takes a nap. They get Shinji back, though. Kaji and Misato get back together, but Kaji gets shot by someone, I'm not sure who. That makes Asuka sad. She gets really depressed and runs away, while Rei dies in an Angel battle, but then she's okay, because they had several backup Reis. You know, because she's a physical copy of Shinji's mother. So a new pilot named Kaworu Nagisa arrives to replace Asuka, who is currently being held in a medicinally-induced coma so that she doesn't try anything funny. But it turns out he's an Angel and Shinji has to kill him. Kaworu also points out that the Adam on the cross isn't Adam at all, but Lilith. Rei has Lilith's soul, so she can fly now. Now Shinji gets all emo and suicidal and stuff. He tries to get Asuka to help him, but she's in a coma. I forget what happens next. So then Seele, who had been monitoring NERV and funding them and stuff, decides to kill everyone and start Third Impact. They get a bunch of Mass Produced Evangelions to eat Asuka and her Evangelion, then they turn Shinji's Evangelion into the Tree of Life. The Human Instrumentality Project starts, and everyone's mind merges together and Shinji has sex with everyone. Then Shinji decides to end Third Impact and the world is all gone and only he and Asuka are left. He decides to strangle Asuka, but then he stops."
LISTENER: "Wow, that sounds like quite a show. What's it called?"
EXPLAINER: "THE ARISTOCRATS!"
"Today?... hmm... today... right... Um... I'm just gonna wing it." -Guess who