How would you help the pilots if you worked at NERV?

[G-Force]

Scenario:

Given the large amount of responsibilities that Captain Katsuragi has to undertake on a daily basis, you have been tasked to assist her with maintaining the mental health of the Third Child (and possibly the Second after her transfer) as an official employee of NERV.

Responsibilities and Resources:

As previously described, you are responsible in making sure that the Third Child is kept at a level of mental stability in or for him to be an effective pilot. These duties will extend toward the Second Child as well when she arrives to Tokyo-3. As such you will be given access to their records (medical, initial psyche evaluations and known history) in addition to having a spending budget for use of buying supplies and covering outside activities that would need to be approved by the Commander.

Limitations:
Your security clearance would be on par with that of NERV's technical staff. You are not responsible for maintaining the home life, education and general living conditions the children need as those will be covered by Major Katsuragi. Your main interaction with the pilots will be within NERV HQ however it is possible to visit the children at home or school only if you have the approval of the pilots and the guardian. As a warning, you are minimize your contact with the First Child, failure to show restraint could result in a termination of your responsibilities.

Comments: All jokes pertaining to "Shinji Ikari Raising Project" aside I've always wondered how we would really treat the pilots in the Eva-verse if we're given a position to help them out and the questions would arise. Would you try to bond with the kids or would you keep things on a professional level, would you try to play match maker and other nagging questions like that.

[Catamari]

I'd sit behind a desk with my hands clasped under my chin, barking orders at them and drinking coffee.

In all seriousness, though, given those restrictions, I think I would keep things on a semi-professional level. Perhaps take Shinji golfing or something to get to know him a little, but keep things distant. It's Misato's job to take care of him, I'm just here to crack the whip.

[NemZ]

I'd just be friendly to the kid in a passive way and give him a much needed "thanks for saving all our lives".

[Falcon_of_the_Sun]

I would talk him into making a move on Rei.

[Katana]

I would make Shinji, Rei and Asuka my slaves.

[Stillborn]

Sex slaves?

[Katana]

Sex slaves?

That place is reserved for Kaworu.

[Stillborn]

Then all you need for Shinji, is to ask him.

For Rei and Asuka, you'll need Gendo an Kaji costumes respectively. Just don't mix them up.

For Kaworu, just promise him piece of Shinji's ass.

(Actually in case of Shinji, ask Misato. As his legal guardian, she may trade him for booze. It happened in one fanfic...)

But I don't know how that suppose to help them

[Shinoyami65]

I'd sneak an arsenic tablet into Gendo's regular post-Angel sandwich. I think that counts heavily towards maintaining the mental health of the Children.

When Asuka arrives I might try to warn her about being too arrogant because she's going to be consecutively defeated by a giant with tissue paper arms and a big glowing bird, but she'd probably just slap me.

I'd also conveniently misplace Toji's deep-synch test scores and instead offer up Kensuke as the pilot for Eva-03.

[Katana]

But I don't know how that suppose to help them

Oh, it will sure help them.

[Chuckman]

I would seduce Ritsuko.

That's got to help them somehow.

[Stillborn]

I do like that sound. I'm making similiar on rare occasions.

As for realistic help... I doubt anything other than a pat on the back and a good word, would be possible from our position. And considering the level of mental scarring all of them have, it would be insufficent.

[SimplyMason0]

Its really hard to say. Shinji and Asuka managed fine piloting the evas. Only reason they got so messed up was due to things beyond anyones control(Areal and Kaworu). I would say try to help them as much as possible after those situations. For Shinji, give more sympathy to the Kaworu thing.

Though I guess if anything is realistic, send Shinji to boot camp.

[Rei IV]

I'd just be friendly to the kid in a passive way and give him a much needed "thanks for saving all our lives".

What about Rei and Asuka? God only knows how much help those two need, especially Rei's social retardation (to the extremes) and Asuka's massive, inflated ego. Shinji has his problems, don't get me wrong, but to the degree that those two have, it just doesn't compare. Misato really fucked up on Asuka, too.

[NemZ]

I was answering the actual question in the OP, which was pointed squarely at Shinji.

Almost nobody else seems to have bothered to read the original question.

[Squigsquasher]

Give the lad a big warm hug.

[Stillborn]

When I look at your current avatar, I somehow belive that a man with that face, approaching Shinji with open arms, would actually make him freak out XD

[ElMariachi]

Hire a fucking psychiatrist!
Why no one though of that ever, not even Misato or Ritsuko?!

[amitakartok]

Gendo would overrule that, saying that the pilots don't need it.

[ElMariachi]

He'll probably say that Rei don't need it, but he don't give a shit about Shinji and Asuka, and if he's told that a psychiatrist could improve their moral, piloting abilities and capacity to destroy the Angel, he'll probably accept, besides they don't know anything about the HIP, so there isn't any risk for his or SEELE's scenario!

He will probably secretly record the sessions though, just to be sure!