Worst Sequels
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Worst Sequels
Title says all, made this topic out of sheer depression and wrath with an endless flame that can never be put out by anything short of true justice.
I know what worse sequel topics usually contain: Jurassic Park 3, Star Wars prequels, any AVP movie that isn't Alien, Aliens, or Predator, Transformer Revenge/Dark of the Fallen/Moon, Halloween 3 onward, Nightmare on Elm Street 2 onward, Pirates of The Caribbean 3, Terminator 3 and 4, blah blah blah. However, I'm starting with my least of least favorite sequels and they are beyond the norm.
-Friday The 13th Part 4 (The Final Chapter): Most entries in the franchise are entertaining, this wasn't. It was mostly talking half the movie with little action from Jason until the last quarter; kind of boring.
-New Nightmare: Slow pacing and bad editing murdered this movie. I can get the meta referencing, but the execution was beyond horrendous.
-Day of The Dead 2: Contagium: Ignoring the whole zombie origin story (which was explained by Night of The Living Dead as "radioactive brains"), Phelous covered everything wrong with this long and tedious pile of junk.
-Terminator 2: Judgment Day: Tore away at what the first movie established and a bit too much talking, if not for T-1000 I wouldn't have liked it as much. When Terminator 3 came out and revived what the first movie did it made everything alright. Cameron lost his charm after the 80s simply put.
-Children of The Corn 666: Isaac's Return: Slow pacing, bad lighting, bad video quality, bad execution, and why was Isaac alive let alone become a dwarf? Killed the franchise, although it was at least better than Syfy's remake (yeesh).
-Dinocroc vs. Supergator: An insult to BOTH of Roger Corman's famous Syfy channel icons, they barely even fought for two, maybe THREE MINUTES. Especially insulting to Supergator (why not just rename it?).
-Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris: Mostly just talking, disappointing final battle, and a CLIFFHANGER ENDING. Yes, heaven forbid I want a saga I am enjoying to have a proper and satisfying ending. I will never see what kaiju fans see in this movie, just because it is "dark n different" does not mean it an automatic masterpiece.
-Ultraman Cosmos 2: The Blue Planet: Even for an Ultraman movie it was ridiculously slow, not to mention Sandross is the most disappointing final boss in any Ultraman movie.
-Octopus 2: River of Fear: Just subpar all around and did not feel like the first one.
And finally the biggest sequel fail ever:
-Return of The Living Dead 4: Necropolis: You want AUTHENTIC adaption rape? You want AUTHENTIC decay? You want AUTHENTIC franchise deterioration? I can guaran(jumping)tee this movie does it better than any other "bad sequel" in any franchise. At least the big budget Hollywood franchise at least bother to remain consistent. This is a franchise that uses zombies being unkillable even when torn to pieces and their parts are reactivated. This movie? They DIE FROM HEAD SHOTS AND LOADS OF DAMAGE. My mind was thoroughly blown once it finished and made me want to punch a wall.
I know what worse sequel topics usually contain: Jurassic Park 3, Star Wars prequels, any AVP movie that isn't Alien, Aliens, or Predator, Transformer Revenge/Dark of the Fallen/Moon, Halloween 3 onward, Nightmare on Elm Street 2 onward, Pirates of The Caribbean 3, Terminator 3 and 4, blah blah blah. However, I'm starting with my least of least favorite sequels and they are beyond the norm.
-Friday The 13th Part 4 (The Final Chapter): Most entries in the franchise are entertaining, this wasn't. It was mostly talking half the movie with little action from Jason until the last quarter; kind of boring.
-New Nightmare: Slow pacing and bad editing murdered this movie. I can get the meta referencing, but the execution was beyond horrendous.
-Day of The Dead 2: Contagium: Ignoring the whole zombie origin story (which was explained by Night of The Living Dead as "radioactive brains"), Phelous covered everything wrong with this long and tedious pile of junk.
-Terminator 2: Judgment Day: Tore away at what the first movie established and a bit too much talking, if not for T-1000 I wouldn't have liked it as much. When Terminator 3 came out and revived what the first movie did it made everything alright. Cameron lost his charm after the 80s simply put.
-Children of The Corn 666: Isaac's Return: Slow pacing, bad lighting, bad video quality, bad execution, and why was Isaac alive let alone become a dwarf? Killed the franchise, although it was at least better than Syfy's remake (yeesh).
-Dinocroc vs. Supergator: An insult to BOTH of Roger Corman's famous Syfy channel icons, they barely even fought for two, maybe THREE MINUTES. Especially insulting to Supergator (why not just rename it?).
-Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris: Mostly just talking, disappointing final battle, and a CLIFFHANGER ENDING. Yes, heaven forbid I want a saga I am enjoying to have a proper and satisfying ending. I will never see what kaiju fans see in this movie, just because it is "dark n different" does not mean it an automatic masterpiece.
-Ultraman Cosmos 2: The Blue Planet: Even for an Ultraman movie it was ridiculously slow, not to mention Sandross is the most disappointing final boss in any Ultraman movie.
-Octopus 2: River of Fear: Just subpar all around and did not feel like the first one.
And finally the biggest sequel fail ever:
-Return of The Living Dead 4: Necropolis: You want AUTHENTIC adaption rape? You want AUTHENTIC decay? You want AUTHENTIC franchise deterioration? I can guaran(jumping)tee this movie does it better than any other "bad sequel" in any franchise. At least the big budget Hollywood franchise at least bother to remain consistent. This is a franchise that uses zombies being unkillable even when torn to pieces and their parts are reactivated. This movie? They DIE FROM HEAD SHOTS AND LOADS OF DAMAGE. My mind was thoroughly blown once it finished and made me want to punch a wall.
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Re: Worst Sequels
I was about to say I completely agreed with this sentiment until I saw you'd managed to spray retard all over it. I do think you're correct that T2 is way less remarkable of a movie than T1, though. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm one or two years too young to have appreciated T2, but the original really is a pretty great movie, just inexorable action-horror with an out-of-nowhere plot, some genuinely impressive set-pieces (the police station shootout has to rank among the top ten gunfights ever filmed), and one of Ahnold's best performances, rivaled only by his other great 80s showings as Conan and the guy from Predator (in both of which he plays the same game of dancing between deadpan hilarity and monolithic freakiness, although as Conan he added a little bit of oddly heartfelt pathos which I kind of wish he'd tried out more often). The only thing in Terminator 2 I think on fondly is Linda Hamilton.
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I meant the whole "WE NEED TO MAKE A TREATY SO THAT WE CAN LEGALLY BLOCKADE THE PLANET GUYS" thing. I watched it again in 3D, with knowledge of what they were talking about this time around, and it still made no sense whatsoever.
I actually don't consider it to be a bad movie, but rather George Lucas's big-budget experimental film that just so happens to take place in the Star Wars Universe. It's still the weakest one of all of them, though. No question.
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It's not that hard to follow, the tricky part is that Palpatine was playing 3 sides at the same time.
The problem: The Republic passed legislation that taxed the Federation's trade routes to outer rim planets. This was because they needed money and it would weaken the Trade Federation. Obviously the Federation got pissed. They've already taken a bunch of other outer rim planets and the distant Naboo was next. Having control of these planets without the Republic knowing means they can use those trade routes without getting taxed. Of course, this was a plan Palpatine had cooked up because he needed to become chancellor.
1. Palpatine told the Trade Federation to blockade Naboo, prevent all outside communication from getting in or out, this isn't "legal" as far as anyone's concerned.
2. Palpatine, being the Senator for Naboo, conveniently knows what's going on while the rest of the Republic is in the dark, says Naboo is being blockaded, and the chancellor sends 2 Jedi to investigate.
3. The Jedi were never supposed to survive (Palpatine told Gunroy that it'll all be cool), no word would get back, Trade Federation would continue to do its thing.
4. Its thing being to bully Naboo into signing a treaty that gave the Trade Federation exclusive rights for the Federation to use their space, thus they wouldn't be taxed. I know there's transcripts of the fake treaty online somewhere, there's got to be.
5. After the treaty is signed, the Naboo would be powerless to prevent Trade Federation to use their planet and routes for their own profit. There would be no need for a blockade in the same sense, since they have a treaty that allows them to be there.
Of course, we know things didn't turn out this way, and some of it does seem a bit convoluted if not for Palpatine playing puppet master on 3 different sides at the same time.
Not to say Episode I was that great of a movie, lots of it was pretty bad, but it's not because of the story, which I thought was pretty compelling for the most part.
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The prequels are all uniformly awful. At least with 'Phantom Menace' - the best of the 3 - you can tell Lucas is having fun. It's juvenile racist fun he's having BUT it's fun. With 'Clones' he seems to be trying to apologize for 'Menace' while still having no idea what the hell he should be doing with his universe. And 'Revenge of the Sith' is just dumb. He finally starts pandering to the fans while still making an ineffective movie. The films can't be ripped apart any better than RedLetterMedia did.
Mmmm..... worst sequels...... that's a tough one since most sequels are so forgettable I can't even remember them. And then a lot of them are just inoffensive since the films they're following aren't worth much either.
I guess 'X-Men: The Last Stand' deserves a mention for so mucking up everything Singer had set up before. 'Battle for the Planet of the Apes' was a turd. 'The Sting II' is awful but that's expected without the original cast. I hated 'Infernal Affairs III'. 'The Fly II' was a joke. 'Blues Brothers 2000' need I see more?
Oh and this is where I say 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' but I was only kinda enjoyed the original. I really want to call it out for just being the worst Hollywood movie accepted as entertainment in recent memory.
Mmmm..... worst sequels...... that's a tough one since most sequels are so forgettable I can't even remember them. And then a lot of them are just inoffensive since the films they're following aren't worth much either.
I guess 'X-Men: The Last Stand' deserves a mention for so mucking up everything Singer had set up before. 'Battle for the Planet of the Apes' was a turd. 'The Sting II' is awful but that's expected without the original cast. I hated 'Infernal Affairs III'. 'The Fly II' was a joke. 'Blues Brothers 2000' need I see more?
Oh and this is where I say 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' but I was only kinda enjoyed the original. I really want to call it out for just being the worst Hollywood movie accepted as entertainment in recent memory.
Ornette wrote:It's not that hard to follow, the tricky part is that Palpatine was playing 3 sides at the same time.
The problem: The Republic passed legislation that taxed the Federation's trade routes to outer rim planets. This was because they needed money and it would weaken the Trade Federation. Obviously the Federation got pissed. They've already taken a bunch of other outer rim planets and the distant Naboo was next. Having control of these planets without the Republic knowing means they can use those trade routes without getting taxed. Of course, this was a plan Palpatine had cooked up because he needed to become chancellor.
1. Palpatine told the Trade Federation to blockade Naboo, prevent all outside communication from getting in or out, this isn't "legal" as far as anyone's concerned.
2. Palpatine, being the Senator for Naboo, conveniently knows what's going on while the rest of the Republic is in the dark, says Naboo is being blockaded, and the chancellor sends 2 Jedi to investigate.
3. The Jedi were never supposed to survive (Palpatine told Gunroy that it'll all be cool), no word would get back, Trade Federation would continue to do its thing.
4. Its thing being to bully Naboo into signing a treaty that gave the Trade Federation exclusive rights for the Federation to use their space, thus they wouldn't be taxed. I know there's transcripts of the fake treaty online somewhere, there's got to be.
5. After the treaty is signed, the Naboo would be powerless to prevent Trade Federation to use their planet and routes for their own profit. There would be no need for a blockade in the same sense, since they have a treaty that allows them to be there.
Of course, we know things didn't turn out this way, and some of it does seem a bit convoluted if not for Palpatine playing puppet master on 3 different sides at the same time.
Not to say Episode I was that great of a movie, lots of it was pretty bad, but it's not because of the story, which I thought was pretty compelling for the most part.
Wow, finally. Someone else that got what was going on politically in that movie... not that knowing that makes it all that better. But to be honest, I don't find the prequels to be anywhere near as bad as most people make them out to be. I think, while nowhere as good as the original three, most people hate on them since "you're suppose to hate them" and over hype the bad parts. Really people, they're not that bad.
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Fixed.
I don't count the prequels, since the second trailer for Phantom Menace -- in particular Jar-Jar's "You mean people are gonna die?" -- was enough for me to say "Nope!"
While I've seen a handful of sequels in extended franchises, usually I've gotten off the bandwagon before the trainwreck.
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Return of the Jedi was actually my favorite movie as a child, or at least the original cut with "Yub Nub" at the end was. I re-watched IV and V back in September, maybe I should get around to seeing what I'd think of Jedi nowadays.
I saw Attack of the Clones opening weekend - before all of the negative hype had time to truly permeate the rest of the surrounding culture - and it was truly an awful, painful experience of interminable length and unbelievable dullness.
I only saw The Phantom Menace once when it first came out when I was still in fifth grade, and while I remember being slightly disappointed with it I think I had liked it overall. But then again, I also never saw it a second time, so who knows... But yeah, I wasn't coming in with cynical expectations for Attack of the Clones.
Oh look, I accidentally turned this into a Star Wars thread. My bad.
My closing statement on Star Wars: The prequels are just fanfiction. They just so happen to be fanfiction by the guy who actually made the original work.
I saw Attack of the Clones opening weekend - before all of the negative hype had time to truly permeate the rest of the surrounding culture - and it was truly an awful, painful experience of interminable length and unbelievable dullness.
I only saw The Phantom Menace once when it first came out when I was still in fifth grade, and while I remember being slightly disappointed with it I think I had liked it overall. But then again, I also never saw it a second time, so who knows... But yeah, I wasn't coming in with cynical expectations for Attack of the Clones.
Oh look, I accidentally turned this into a Star Wars thread. My bad.
My closing statement on Star Wars: The prequels are just fanfiction. They just so happen to be fanfiction by the guy who actually made the original work.
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But not a sequel.
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Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth
The first two were far from masterpieces, and were campy in their own ways, (enough for an extended, text-only riff, at least) but they had an atmosphere and aesthetic that was completely original. (The second film was basically set in a big mash-up of M.C. Escher and Hieronymus Bosch paintings.) The third one, however, was loud, ugly, frenetic, and desecrated one of the most intriguing and enigmatic characters to come out of the slasher genre.
Honestly, the first half, where Pinhead was trapped in a statue was pretty cool, as it allowed him to be a sort of seductive, Faustian figure, but the second he got out, the film turned to utter shit. He lost any semblance of what him creepy and started delivering one-liners and beatin' up priests.
The fourth film, Bloodline, was also pretty bad, but nowhere as much as the third one. These two messes came out of the studios deciding to pander to fans who wanted more Pinhead without realizing that he worked best in small increments and was never really the villain. Thank God the four direct-to-video sequels managed to even out to "not bad" overall, because Pinhead was changed back into a dark figure standing on the sidelines of the story.
Oh, that's right, there was a fifth direct to video film, wasn't there? Well, I actually kind of liked that one, because it was so incompetent it became hysterical. It looked like a crappy fan-film, and the villain's motivation was so stupid, I couldn't help but laugh. "Baaaawwww, I hate my life of white, middle-upper class privilege! I'm going to go to Tijuana, sleep with the inexplicably Asian hookers and summon S&M demons, because FUCK YOU, MOM!"
Good times.
The first two were far from masterpieces, and were campy in their own ways, (enough for an extended, text-only riff, at least) but they had an atmosphere and aesthetic that was completely original. (The second film was basically set in a big mash-up of M.C. Escher and Hieronymus Bosch paintings.) The third one, however, was loud, ugly, frenetic, and desecrated one of the most intriguing and enigmatic characters to come out of the slasher genre.
Honestly, the first half, where Pinhead was trapped in a statue was pretty cool, as it allowed him to be a sort of seductive, Faustian figure, but the second he got out, the film turned to utter shit. He lost any semblance of what him creepy and started delivering one-liners and beatin' up priests.
The fourth film, Bloodline, was also pretty bad, but nowhere as much as the third one. These two messes came out of the studios deciding to pander to fans who wanted more Pinhead without realizing that he worked best in small increments and was never really the villain. Thank God the four direct-to-video sequels managed to even out to "not bad" overall, because Pinhead was changed back into a dark figure standing on the sidelines of the story.
Oh, that's right, there was a fifth direct to video film, wasn't there? Well, I actually kind of liked that one, because it was so incompetent it became hysterical. It looked like a crappy fan-film, and the villain's motivation was so stupid, I couldn't help but laugh. "Baaaawwww, I hate my life of white, middle-upper class privilege! I'm going to go to Tijuana, sleep with the inexplicably Asian hookers and summon S&M demons, because FUCK YOU, MOM!"
Good times.
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"I agree Hans, but we have talked about those anal fisting analogies." -Werner Herzog
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Aliens: Resurrection
Let me tell you, this movie completely undermines the narrative of the past three movies. Alien 3 was a kick in the balls, but it at least carried the main narrative forward in a way that preserved the thematic integrity and potent symbolism of the other two films. Not so with Resurrection. That thing just bleeds awful. The script is weak, the aliens act out of character, the special effects are half-assed, and the actors are all spacing out, save for Sigourney Weaver, who manages to replicate the body language of the Xenomorphs perfectly. I'm normally a Joss Whedon fan, but this movie screams desperation for a paycheck. My utter lack of sympathy for all the characters didn't help either.
Let me tell you, this movie completely undermines the narrative of the past three movies. Alien 3 was a kick in the balls, but it at least carried the main narrative forward in a way that preserved the thematic integrity and potent symbolism of the other two films. Not so with Resurrection. That thing just bleeds awful. The script is weak, the aliens act out of character, the special effects are half-assed, and the actors are all spacing out, save for Sigourney Weaver, who manages to replicate the body language of the Xenomorphs perfectly. I'm normally a Joss Whedon fan, but this movie screams desperation for a paycheck. My utter lack of sympathy for all the characters didn't help either.
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Starship Troopers 2. The third one still wasn't as good as the first (despite having powered armor), but much better than the turd that was the second.
Also, before it is said, I also preferred the book to the movie and I know that the movie deviated from it, but I still enjoyed the first movie for what it was.
Also, before it is said, I also preferred the book to the movie and I know that the movie deviated from it, but I still enjoyed the first movie for what it was.
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A subversive work of satirical genius? Well, why wouldn't you?
Gah, videos are down. Well, I'll leave the link in for posterity, hoping the copyright dispute is eventually overturned.
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"I agree Hans, but we have talked about those anal fisting analogies." -Werner Herzog
"I agree Hans, but we have talked about those anal fisting analogies." -Werner Herzog
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