[RP] Evangelion: After the Impact

[Defectron]

“So who’s the Tatsuya guy that’s been giving you trouble?” Ryujin asked me. I remembered that damned harem anime protagonist wannabe.

“Just some douche who was hitting on me earlier, nothing to worry too much about though.” That ability to make women fall for him could cause trouble though. If I couldn't avoid him I would need to find another solution to the problem before he could use it on me. The ankle biter maybe? But even if she changed his gender, if he still had that power it would still be a problem. Regardless of gender I didn't want to get involved with some lameass like that. As I sat trying to think of what to do about that guy a glittery waitress came over to our table. Great another twilight vampire...

“What can I get you guys?” Ryujin tried to order something, but apparantly they didn't have a great selection of foreign alcohaul so he just went with some local beer and some mild hotwings.

"Mild? Pussy." I quipped at that. Usually I got rum & coke but they probably didn't have that here either so I just got a bottle of sake and some fries.

Later

“Ahhh, you know…. you guys are right, I’ve been pretty down lately but with everything that’s been going on like these none-stop attacks by this Overlord guy, how many people we’ve lost…. shit what happened to Rana and of course that unexpected run in with Naomi…..which reminds me Manticore; what was up with the attitude you’ve been giving me since then?” Ryujin asked me. That's right, I had almost forgotten about that. Who did he think he was talking to me about attidues, who did he think was responsible for that?

“Attitude?! I find you making out with my girl and after that you started fawning over poor Rana like nothing happened and you’re wondering WHY I was just little pissed off at you?!” I said to him as the table seemed to get slightly burnt where I was touching it.

“Wait you saw her…..Bwaaahahahaha, making out?! You thought we were making out? No, no, no… First off SHE kissed ME. Secondly it was just on the cheek, that’s all. She gave me a hug then a peck on the cheek. Look Manticore I had no desire to steal her away from you but you got to remember you’ve got a lot of history together and our relationship didn’t end because of bad terms. You see this part of the reason I was trying to keep my distance from her, well part of it I was afraid of what she might have to say to me, but the other part is I didn’t know if me popping up would complicate your relationship and if it did our group doesn’t really need the compactions that would of popped up because of this and I didn’t need the complications of you trying to kill me!”

Well that sounded reasonable, dman I really have been paranoid lately. But it did amuse me how Ryujin still seemed to be scared of me. Well that was fine, I preferred people to fear me at least a little. As I thought that a smile came across my face. “What you’re afraid of little old me?” I asked teasing.

“Well if I’m really far away or really close where I can overpower you no, anywhere else, very yes!” this only made my smile get bigger.

A bit later

I would have thought that my alcohaul tolerance wouldve been pretty good given how I could digest anything, but I guess it didn't work that way. Because right now I was smashed drunk and so was Ryujin who got up on stage and started trying to sing.

"Ahh...it's getting hot in here, I'm taking this off. Hehehe...hey look everyone! Boobies! YAY! I like my boobies! Their pretty cool huh?" I said as I took off my top and jumped up next to one of the strippers. "Hey I like you lets dance!" I said as I stumbled around , I couldn't even see things straight. The stripper apparantly was less then enthusiastic about this as she ran away screaming.

"You...your just jealous of my boobies...you only got two of them!" I said as I stumbled off the stage tripping on my tail. "Damn...I think I might be kinda drunk..." I said as I sat up and noticed Tsubasa who had come into the bar, standing several feet away from me in utter terror. "And you! You want to steal my boobies away because your jealous of them too! Well I won't let you! Their mine and I'm not giving them to you!" I said as energy began crackling around my body.

"W-Wait a minute! I don't want to fight!" Tsubasa said cowering.

"Oh yeah...that's right your a good girl arn't you...santa said you were on his good list....it's good your not bad...bad children get eaten by namahage...HAHAHA! Look at your face! Your scared!"

"UHHH...." Tsubasa was petrified in fear and confusion. It was then I heard something I didn't want to.

"Well hello there...I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. Couldn't get enough last time eh? I can't say I blame you! I'll let you be my 378th wife. I have a free spot in fridays wedding, you can be my sixth bride that day." I could hear Tatsuyas voice say nearby. Shit I could already feel that bastard working his love magic on me. I wouldn't give in that easily though!

"Ankle biter! Go bite that guy! He needs to go ont he other side of the fence!" I said as I grabbed Tsubasa.

"B-b-b-but I can't bite Tatsuya sama! He's perfect how he is! He's Tsubasas first love!" Tsubasa said in horror of me even suggesting it. Shit she looked like she was five, what the hell was wrong with Japan?

"Hey what are you doing with my 237th wife? I know your jealous but violence is not the answer!" Tatsuya said looking at me and Tsubasa.

"You...you and that pillow of yours ruined the anime industry! Now your trying to ruin the future of humanity with your gene pool contamination! Well you won't get me! Ankle biter missile!" I shouted as my tentacles grabbed Tsubasa and hurled her at Tatsuyas face with enough force to knock him off his feet. He stumbled backwards crashing into our table causing my empty sake bottle and what was left of Ryujins hotwings to fall on his head.

"How dare you do that to Tatsuya sama?" one of the women who was on his arm shouted.

"Tatsuya Sama showed me how to be a proper lady! I won't let you treat him that way!" the female Edward I had met earlier shouted.

"I already gave birth to six of his babies! I'll kill you!"

"Oh you bitches want to fight? Ok bring it!" I said as electricity began crackling around me.

"That's enough! Torgo! Get these guys outta here!" I heard someones voice shout. I wasn't sure what happened next but something really big and fast shot out of the back of the rooms coming at me and the other girls. The next thing I knew all of us were literally thrown out of the bar.

A bit later

Johnson apparantly found me and Ryujin, both of us were lying on the ground, thrown out of the bar by whoever that Torgo guy was. Well at least the others were too, those vampire bimbos were lying in a heap nearby with Tsubasa trapped underneath them.

"Ughhh...I don't feel too good..." I said, the fact that I was topless right now around these people didn't even bother me. I jsut wanted to find a bathroom.

"Ooohh man, I don't feel well" Ryujin said before vomiting all over the ground. The stench of that wasn't doing wonders for my already somewhat upset stomach as I also puked, my stomach acids burning a hole in the concrete.


I vaguely registered someone saying “I’m gonna finish you tonight!” as I saw a really ugly guy coming out to face Johnson.

“Friend of yours?”, Ryujin asked.

"Fuck no, he ain't" Johnson said as the figure advanced on us. But before he could do anything some weird guy from the bar who looked a bit like Boba Fett tackled the strange man before shouting "RUN!"

I then felt Johnson grab my hand as we began to do just that. "Hey stop! We aint gotta run...we can take that guy!" I said but was still feeling to drunk to really resist getting pulled along by him.

[Ryjin]

“Ahhhhhhuuuuuughhhhh”, I mounded as I made it back to the world of the living, my mouth tasted like wet ashtray and malt beer, my eye lids were stuck together with cement and attached to the inside of my head was a perpetually detonating N^2 bomb. “Ummmmmmmm”, what the hell happened? My mind was still a little hazy from a combination of a hangover and too much bad sleep…… Let’s see, I was….. drinking with Johnson and Manticore, then we….. got kicked out….. wait…. why did we get….. oh and then we ran into that big guy who didn’t seem to care to much for old Johnny boy and…. and then what?........ What was it… that’s right, some guy in armor talked him and …. and things just get foggy from there.

Since my vision is still as blurry as my memory I begin to rub the sleep and the crust from my eyes as my nostrils start to open up and my sense of smell starts to come back to me, where ever I am it smells dusty, damp and slightly reeks of sewage. The ground is equally damp and dusty and from the pocking I feel I my back it seems to be strewn with rubble as well but at lest I got a nice comfy, soft, firm pillow, got three of them in fact, three nice soft pillowy mounds….. and all of a sudden all the hair on my body started to stick up as I hear a extremely groggy vice mutter out, “You’ve got exactly three seconds to get off of me before I zap you sterile, one, tw….”

“Oh shit Manticore I’m sorry!” I yell out as I got off of her as fast as I could, a little to fast for my current state and I ended up cradling my heads as the explosion going off inside of it jumped into the megaton range and it took just about all my will power to keep from empting my stomach. My vision finally focused it’s self as the wrenching in the stomach came to a stop and I could finally see that I was in a dimly lit basement. I started to look around when from my left I hear Johnson call out to us in an almost sarcastic tone, “Sleep well you two?” to which I turned to face and find him sitting on a Stoll over by what seemed to be the only door to this place and went to say something to him but could only let out a mean spirited grunt in reply.

To my right Manticore started to stretch the sleep out of her joints and I noticed at about the same time see did that that she was ummmmm, a bit topless a fact which prompted her to ask, “Ahhhh where’s my top?” She leered over at me then turned her attention to Johnson and asked him, “Since you were the sober one maybe you can tell my why the hell am I topples.” She then pointed out to me and continued with, “And why the hell did I wake up with that drunk freak grouping my milkshakes?!”

“I was doing no such thing!!!” I started to protest as Johnson responded with, “Well for how you ended up topples, you and that drunk freak, as you so eloquently called him, got up on the dancing stage and he started to sing as you started to strip which go the both of you kicked out and then we ran into that burnt up freak job I ran into earlier and then some guy who seemed to really like that Jap beer that Mr. Drunk Freak got tackled him and I then took that opportunity to get you two the hell out of there and well since I didn’t want to lead him back to the hotel we’re staying at or to the hospital after making random tracks around town a couple of times to try and shake him I found a nice house that seemed abandoned and broke into it’s basement and you two passed out on top of each other and being the nice guy that I am I stayed up keeping watch over both of your drunk asses, oh that reminds me.” He then pulled my pistol out from his trench and tossed it back to me then continued, “I feed him my magnum earlier to little effect so I borrowed your ray gun hoping it could do a better job. Anyways, I was going to pull you guys apart but you two made such a cute couple I couldn’t bear to do so.”, I swear to you I could friggin' see that shit eating grin on that mask of his as he said that!

Well of course this caused the both of us to say almost in unison, “Don’t you even imply THAT!!”

Manticore then points back over to me and adds, “I would never do anything with him! Never!”

“Hey!”, I call out in protest, “What so wrong with me!”

“First off.” She starts her reply, “You have a dick, secondly…… wait! Why am I justifying this to you?! We got more important things to worry about right now!” She then turns her attentions back over to Johnson and asks, “William, tells us what you know about that fuck, I think he needs to be dealt with!”

[Defectron]

That night I had a dream that I got married to Naomi. I wore a green wedding dress and she wore a black one. After getting wed by a preist that looked like Zombie Sephiroth we went back to a hotel room and made out having another round of wild sex.

As the morning came I was still half asleep still not completely aware that this had been a dream. Naomi's head was resting on top of my boobs, wait Naomi didn't have a beard...I then shot wide awake. Why was Ryujins head resting on my boobs? What the fuck happened? Ryujin seemed to stir slightly as he too began to wake up.

“You’ve got exactly three seconds to get off of me before I zap you sterile, one, tw….” As soon as he heard my voice that seemed to shock him out of his daze.

“Oh shit Manticore I’m sorry!” he yelled out falling on his ass. Yeah you'd better run! I then looked around the room I was in, it was some strange basement.

“Sleep well you two?” I could hear Johnsons voice say across the room. What the hell happened? As I sat up I noticed that I was naked from the waste up.

“Ahhhh where’s my top?” Oh shit! What the hell happened? For one wild moment I was terrified that i could have done it with him as I remembered the dream I had. But no, my pants were still here and Ryujins dick was still attached to his body so it looked like that wasn't what happened. But that still didn't mean nothing questionable happened. For a moment I glanced at Ryujin in suspicion before looking back over at Johnson. “Since you were the sober one maybe you can tell my why the hell am I topples. And why the hell did I wake up with that drunk freak grouping my milkshakes?!” I said as I covered my boobs as best I could with my arms.

“I was doing no such thing!!!” Ryujin tried to protest but then Johnson began to go into his explanation.

“Well for how you ended up topples, you and that drunk freak, as you so eloquently called him, got up on the dancing stage and he started to sing as you started to strip which go the both of you kicked out and then we ran into that burnt up freak job I ran into earlier and then some guy who seemed to really like that Jap beer that Mr. Drunk Freak got tackled him and I then took that opportunity to get you two the hell out of there and well since I didn’t want to lead him back to the hotel we’re staying at or to the hospital after making random tracks around town a couple of times to try and shake him I found a nice house that seemed abandoned and broke into it’s basement and you two passed out on top of each other and being the nice guy that I am I stayed up keeping watch over both of your drunk asses, oh that reminds me.” he said as he tossed a gun to Ryujin.
“I fed him my magnum earlier to little effect so I borrowed your ray gun hoping it could do a better job. Anyways, I was going to pull you guys apart but you two made such a cute couple I couldn’t bear to do so.”

I could feel my face go a bit red in embarrassment at that before we both shouted “Don’t you even imply THAT!!”

“I would never do anything with him! Never!” I said pointing back over at Ryujin.

“Hey!”, What so wrong with me!” he said sounding a bit irritated at this.

First off. You have a dick, secondly…… wait! Why am I justifying this to you?! We got more important things to worry about right now!” I said as I looked back at Johnson. “William, tell us what you know about that fuck, I think he needs to be dealt with!”

"Earlier he just came out fo the blue and attacked me when we were out looking around town. As I said I shot him up with my magnum but he still didn't did. I don't know if he's wearing armor or if he just came back with the ability to take those kinds of hits. He did sort of remind me of a horror movie slasher."

"A slasher huh? Sounds like that could be the case, I always did want to fight a horror movie slasher...I wonder where he is now? Anyway I don't suppose you have my top do you?"

"Sorry, I kinda forgot about that. I had some other things to deal with."

"Damn, that was one of the indestructable tops Naomi gave me, I liked that one too." Before leaving I found some bandages to wrap around my boobs making me look like a female biker delinquent from some old school shonen manga. Not much happened on the way back to the hotel, but as we were walking up to the front door we spotted a familiar face. It was that strange armored guy from the other night!

[GasmaskAvenger]

Mr. Johnson

Thankfully, I managed to get my two drunk friends away from Mr. Flesh Burns, with thanks to our beer loving psuedo-bounty hunter friend from the bar. We managed to find an abandoned house to stay at for a little bit, as well as allow the two drunks to sober up.

Of course, as the day passed by, they then woke up in a rather amusing position in which Ryujin's head was on top of Manticore's exposed breasts, which led to them going at it again

Things eased down, I explained what happened, our encounter with the macho burn victim guy & such. We got cleaned up, got ready & headed back to the hotel room, yet as we got there, the Boba Fett wannabe was standing by the hotel.

"What do you want from us?", Manticore asked

"I'm here because you need my help", the bounty hunter then replied. "Can I come inside with you all?"

"Sure", I then replied & we all went inside

Inside, we saw Rei, Shinji, Aoba, Hyuga, Kensuke, Toji, Noriko & Hikari watching television. However, the bounty hunter then pointed his fingers at Rei, Shinji & Toji and said "Its been a while since i've seen you all"

Shinji then turned his head towards the Bounty Hunter & asked "How do you all know our names, stranger?"

"Well, Shinji. The thing is that i'm no stranger", the bounty hunter then replied as he then began to remove his helmet

As soon as the bounty hunter removed his...ahem...helmet to reveal the face of an asian woman with flowing dark violet hair

"Mi...Mi....Misato?", Shinji then asked the bounty hunter in confusion

"Yes, Shinji. Its me. Long time no see.", Misato The Bounty Hunter then replied with a smirk on her face

[Defectron]

"What do you want from us?" I asked the strange armored figure. I had no idea why some Boba Fett clone trooper looking person would suddenly be helping us.

"I'm here because you need my help. Can I come inside with you all?" Well it was true that we could use some help, but still this just felt out of the blue. After being invited inside by Johnson the stranger walked over to where the others were watching a movie on tv.

"Its been a while since i've seen you all" He said.

"Uhhh...I don't suppose you guys were freinds with some starwars fan?" I asked them. But it seemed they were just as confused as I was.

Shinji then turned his head towards the Bounty Hunter & asked "How do you all know our names, stranger?"

"Well, Shinji. The thing is that i'm no stranger" At this, the hunter took off his helmet to reveal the face of someone Shinji knew quite well. It was one of the hottest, if not the hottest asian women I had ever met. Her long dark violet hair fell at her back.

"Mi...Mi....Misato?", Shinji then asked the bounty hunter in confusion

"Yes, Shinji. Its me. Long time no see.", Misato The Bounty Hunter then replied with a smirk on her face.

"M-Misato san!" Kensuke said as he tried to get up and run over to her, but he was so big that he bumped his head on the ceiling causing him to fall backwards smashing a chair.

I had to admit, if nothing else Kensuke had really good taste in women.

"So your the Misato I've heard so much about. I didn't know you were such a big fan of starwars." I said walking over to her.

Somewhere else

Asuka left Masquerades mansion heading back to the hotel, that had been the most amazing experience she'd ever had with a boy. She wonderedif Kaji was that good? Maybe she should have worn a condom though? It had been in the heat of the moment, there hadn't been any time to think and the two of them went all the way without the thought of protection even occurring. Oscar had also said this had been his first time though. If he was telling the truth she wouldnt have to worry about STD's but still the thought of getting pregnant wasn't a pleasant one. Asuka had never wanted any children and although she liked Oscar the idea of having kids , even with him wasn't one she wanted to entertain.

[Ryjin]

After escorting Johnson and Manticore back to the hotel we came across that star warish “bounty hunter” that helped us last night who much too all our surprise turned out to be none other then Misato Katsuragi, Shinjis former guardian and Caption of the Japanese branch of Nerv. Got to say she wasn’t half bad looking, that Shinji kid was one lucky brat! Shit if I was in his place living with both her AND Asuka, ho-boy it would of have been win-win-win for all of us!

While she had a little reunion with the former ward and coworkers, Johnson checked on Rei and Manticore got her self washed up and got a proper top on I made a quick run over to the hospital and checked up on Rana and after making sure she was safe I headed back to the hotel to find Phoenix and Ikari, Johnson and Manticore were right; all this mopping around I was doing wasn’t helping Rana or myself or this group and it was time for the three of us to decide on what future we had with this town if any.

I found Ikari first after he had just finished talking with Misato and while their expressions seemed to read they were still on good terms the tension in the air between them seemed to state otherwise but then again given that there also seems to be no shortage of individuals who want to pop a cap in him or are otherwise on generally bad terms it sure doesn’t seem to be all that unlikely that Misato also has some bad blood with him as well. Do to it seeming to be a bad time for him I was just going to skip him and just find Phoenix but then I remembered he deserved a lot of what was happing to him so I didn’t really care if it was a bad time for him or not so I told him I wanted to have a discussion about what’s our stance on this town with him and Phoenix to which he agreed to and he then told me that the last time he saw Phoenix was in her room.

We then met up with Phoenix who was still in her room like Ikari said and she also agreed now was a good time to go over this and after they both asked me about Ranas condition we got to work going over our plans. First off we still need to find out if the town was really on the level or was if was it a trap and top of that it would be helpful to find what types of power groups there were set up here and what their agenda where as well as other things of that nature so I agreed that after the meeting to ask Johnson and Manticore to come with me and do a little snooping around town and after that we went over what we should do even if this place does turn out to be on the what it says it is since us being her carried the risk of them getting them tied up in our fight and came to the conclusion that since this town seems to be an active trade route with its own power plant, radio and TV networks on top of that creepy ass Eva unit this made the town of Shade a pretty tempting target for the Overlord and he would eventually hit here anyways so it would be for our mutual safety if we and this town teamed up. Finally to pay our for our way here out side of trade we decided we would offer our services in helping them build up an professional military, they hade a lot of hardware but all the manpower they had to man them, out side of the pilot of the Eva unit, were an untrained civil brigade and since this town had no real law enforcement we would also offer or service as officers of the peace. After we were done I met back up with Johnson and Manticore and asked them if they were up to a little gumshoeing to which they agreed (well Manticore agreed only on the term that we would stop at some time during this we would stop by that bar and find her top) and we headed out to see what we dirk we could find on this town.

After couple of hours of not finding a whole lot Manticore stopped in front of a rather elaborately dressed up shop which seemed to be that of a fortune teller and asked, “Kinda makes you wonder if anyone came back with real or enhanced ESP?”

I took a look over the various occultic symbols the owner had adorn across their shop, form what I could tell from the way whoever owned this place had them arranged they seemed to know what they really meant and then replied back by asking her, “You believe in this kind of stuff?”

“Figured you’d be the type to write this stuff off.” She shot back with a somewhat disappointed tone in her voice. She then turned over to Johnson and asked, “How bout you, what do you think about this?”

He thought it over for a second then replied, “Well I can’t say for sure about this world but from where I’m from and what I’ve seen, yeah, yeah I believe.”

That seemed to perk her interest just a bit and she inquired further into his dealing with soothsaying, “Ever had your fortune read?”

“Nope, I’m the kinda of guy who believes in making his own fate rather then worrying about someone’s interruption of it.” he answered while seeming to eye over the symbols as well.

Manticore looked back at the shop for a split second then back at us and said, “You know given that we’ve been at this for a while I’m taking my break and getting my fortune read, any of you gentlemen care to join me?”

Much to mine and Manticore surprise Johnson responded, “Eh, what the hell, at lest it might be fun and who know I might be able to find out if I get to go home after all this or not.”

“But I thought you rather make your own fate William?” She reminded him.

“Well for starters I’m for the most part just going in to have some fun since you’re also doing it and given that in case any of you forgot I’m not form this local space-time whatever so hey, I can use any or all little bits of help I can get to try and find a way back to my world.” Johnson countered.

“True enough.” She relented. She then looked back at me and asked, “How about you Mr. Doubting Thomas?”

“Who said I was doubting it?” I said back, “I mean I don’t know if I truly believe in it but I don’t discount the idea it might be real. So yeah, I guess I can give to a try too and yeah I think it’s break time too.”

Hearing that Manticore wasted no time in opening the door to the shop causing a small bell to tingle announcing our entrance and entering into the incense lased air inside to find a man who looked as if he could be the Baphomet its self waiting for her……..

[Defectron]

After spending some time with Misato I got changed and left with the others save for the kids who wanted to catch up with Misato.

I spotted something that looked like some sort of shady fortune tellers shop. Whatever this place was it appeared extremely shady, but wait, it was possible whoever ran it really did have psychic powers. It would certainly be worth a look. “Kinda makes you wonder if anyone came back with real or enhanced ESP?” I said to the others to see if they were interested.

“You believe in this kind of stuff?” Ryujin asked, I did consider myself to be an amateur paranormal researcher, though in this case I figured it was worth checking out more due to the possibility that whoever ran it possibly attained real abilities through reimagining.

“Figured you’d be the type to write this stuff off.” I said back to him as I intended to check it out with or without them. “How bout you, what do you think about this?” I then went on to ask Johnson.

“Well I can’t say for sure about this world but from where I’m from and what I’ve seen, yeah, yeah I believe.” was his response.

“Ever had your fortune read?” I asked him

“Nope, I’m the kinda of guy who believes in making his own fate rather then worrying about someone’s interruption of it.” was his response. Though despite this I figured knowing the future could come in pretty handy. All that seperated anyone really from getting anything they wanted on the earth was knowledge. If one could gain access to knowledge psychicaly there would be nothing beyond their grasp. Be it something small like finding out a password or something big like preventing the destruction of humanity. I had never found an example of anyone with absolute psychic abilities like that, but now it was certainly possible.

“You know given that we’ve been at this for a while I’m taking my break and getting my fortune read, any of you gentlemen care to join me?” I asked the other two as I made my way over to the shop.

“Eh, what the hell, at lest it might be fun and who know I might be able to find out if I get to go home after all this or not.” Johnson replied as he followed me.

“But I thought you rather make your own fate William?” I asked him

“Well for starters I’m for the most part just going in to have some fun since you’re also doing it and given that in case any of you forgot I’m not form this local space-time whatever so hey, I can use any or all little bits of help I can get to try and find a way back to my world.” Johnson countered. Yeah if this fortune teller was the real deal maybe I could also find out if Johnson really was from a parrallell version of earth or just crazy. I had always wanted to go to a parrallell world.

“True enough. How about you Mr. Doubting Thomas?” I asked Ryujin.

“Who said I was doubting it? I mean I don’t know if I truly believe in it but I don’t discount the idea it might be real. So yeah, I guess I can give to a try too and yeah I think it’s break time.” Ryujin said following after us. As we entered the shop, it was very dark, full of esoteric objects with the scent of burning incense heavy in the air.

In the back of the room I spotted it, veiled by several dark curtains was a man sitting cross legged on a mat. He had dark skin like someone from India, but most striking of all, he had what appeared to be a white rams head attached to his body. He let out a ring of smoke from a hooka he had at his side. Clearly this was no ordinary fortune teller.

"Whoah!" I said a bit taken aback by his strange appearance.

"Come in! Come in!" The strange man said gesturing me forward. I slowly walked forward before taking a seat in front of the mats he was sitting on. He seemed to pause for a moment before taking a closer look at me and seemed to sniff a bit causing me to back up slightly"I see...I see...your hiding a secret young lady."

"A secret?" Ryujin asked looking at me as I shifted a bit uncomfortably, was this guy going to blow my secret? Maybe it was a mistake coming here with them!


"Oh don't worry, I'm sure you didn't come here to have me tell your freinds about your private life. Now let me see..." He reached out touching one of my horns as he seemed to go into a trance. A third eye opened on his fore head as he closed his eyes. "

"Soon you will be facing great danger. You will be reunited with some old freinds....you will face a betrayal from someone close to you. And lastly....beware the man with the puppy fingers! And beware the reaper! BEWAAAARREEE!!"

Puppy fingers? Was that some sort of riddle? I suppose the reaper could symbolise death, but as things were it could be a real person too.

"The reaper will come for you because you are the full moon. Your freind there is also in danger for he is the waxing moon." He said gesturing to Ryujin. "Though he doesn't need to worry just yet, he is the new moon." He said lastly gesturing his hand towards Johnson. "Also don't go out to eat today no matter how delicious the food looks, it will cause you trouble. You don't want to end up like your red haired freind."

"My red haired freind? Did something happen to Asuka?" I had seen her going back to the apartment when we were leaving. She looked ok then.

"What happened to her will become apparent within time. It's nothing to be concerned with right now. Instead you should be careful not to follow in her footsteps! Beware the delicious grilled eel and okonomiyaki two blocks down to the north of this shop! BEWAAAAREE!!"

"Wait there's grilled eel and okonomiyaki around here...that sounds really good...but why do I need to beware?"

"Times up, if you want me to tell you, you need to pay extra. Now whose next?" He asked looking at Ryujin and Johnson.

[GasmaskAvenger]

Mr. Johnson

"My turn", I replied as I raised my hand after the fortune teller

"Well then. Step right up.", the fortune teller told me. I then made my way towards the fortune teller.

As I sat down, he then asked me to take my gloves off, which I did

After he grabbed my hands, his third eye opened and said "You will come home changed. What may seem weak here will be powerful in your home universe. Also, you will make love to your enemy and someone close to you has strong feelings towards you."

Wow...heavy stuff. I dunno what to say.

I then put my gloves back on, pointed my finger towards Ryujin & told him "It's your turn, buddy!"

[Ryjin]

"Come in! Come in!" The strange goat like Teller said to us while taking in a long drag of his hookah, the smell of carouse hashish thick in the air, his glass like eyes looking over us as if to evaluate us. Manticore walked over to his table and took a seat on one of the large ornately designed cushions he had on the floor. The Teller then leaned in closer to her and appeared to sniff her after which he said to her in almost a whisper, “I see...I see...you're hiding a secret young lady."

"A secret?" I thought out loud causing Manticore to glance back at me with a look of embarrassment on her face. This was the third time that some secret about her past has been brought up by somebody and I was really beginning to wonder what was it that she wanted to hide so badly, was it that she did something she regrets and feels she can never be forgiven for like getting a friend killed or was it something darker…… either which way I was going to have to bring this up with her at some point soon and please Lord don’t let it be what I fear it is….

"Oh don't worry; I'm sure you didn't come here to have me tell your friends about your private life.” The Teller assured her noticing how red her green flesh had become over his last statement. He then said to her, “Now let me see..." as he reached out and graced one of her horns with his hand. He then steered deeply into her eyes and on his forehead a third eye opened glowing white. He then told her of her fortune speaking in an otherworldly and distorted voice as if he was speaking many tongues at once, "Soon you will be facing great danger. You will be reunited with some old friends....you will face a betrayal from someone close to you. And lastly....beware the man with the puppy fingers! And beware the reaper! BEWAAAARREEE!!"

Puppy fingers beware the reaper? Really? That was the big pay off for all that creepy third eye shit? Ok it’s obvious that this man has listened to one to many Blue Oyster Cult albums but what was this? Some kinda of joke? Did this Indian fuck really come back as some cryptic goat man just to fool people with bad fortunes of vaguely defined ridiculous dangers?

Manticore went to stand back up with a somewhat confused look to her put the Teller reached out grabbed her arm before she could fully rise and added in, "The reaper will come for you because you are the full moon.” He then moved his hand and gestured over to me, “Your friend there is also in danger for he is the waxing moon." For some reason despite how hooky his foretelling sounded I was filled with a sick felling in my heart, I felt slightly cold. It wasn’t the reaper thing that worried me, no you don’t fear the reaper after all…. No the part that got to me was calling me the waning moon, but why did that bother me? What did it even mean? With out missing a beat he moved his hand over to Johnson and continued his warning, "Though he doesn't need to worry just yet, he is the new moon."

"My red haired friend? Did something happen to Asuka?" Manticore asked with more then a little concern in her voice, you know come to think about it I didn’t remember seeing her at the hotel but then again I didn’t really look for her either, I hope she’s ok…..

"What happened to her will become apparent within time. It's nothing to be concerned with right now. Instead you should be careful not to follow in her footsteps! Beware the delicious grilled eel and okonomiyaki two blocks down to the north of this shop! BEWAAAAREE!!" He replied throwing in another corny “BEWAAAAARRE” while almost comically wiggling his fingers at in some mock attempt to make the “dire” warning of “beware” to seem more menacing then it really was.

"Wait there's grilled eel and okonomiyaki around here.” She asked with her concern for Asuka being replaced with an excitement for disgusting sounding Asian food (have I’ve mentioned yet how much I dislike Asian food, I have? Well I’m letting you know again….. for science….). She then looked back to the Teller and said, “That sounds really good...but why do I need to beware?"

"Times up, if you want me to tell you, you need to pay extra. Now whose next?" He asked looking over at myself and Johnson.

"My turn", Johnson chimed in while raising his hand like he was an exited school kid who new the answer to the teachers question for the first time.

"Well then…. Step right up.", the Teller said to him motioning him to come closer.

Johnson then kneeled down onto the same pillow that Manticore used and at the Tellers behest he took of his gloves and placed his hands on his palms. His third eye glowed again and he soothed on to him, "You will come home changed. What may seem weak here will be powerful in your home universe. Also, you will make love to your enemy and someone close to you has strong feelings towards you." He then returned to normal, well as normal as he could ever really be that is, and let go of Johnson hands and told him, “Well that’s all for the basic package and since I got rent to pay so if you want more it’s going to cost you.”

“No thanks, that’s about all I need.” Johnson replies as he puts back on his gloves and gets up. He then points his finger at me and says, "It's your turn, buddy!"

The teller then turned his gaze over to me and said, “Ahhhhh yes, I know you are most skeptical of me. Come now and have a seat, whether or not you come to believe me I promise at lest I will have stimulated your mind.”

Well of course I’m a bit skeptical, I mean come on, what has he done to really show that he can see into people’s destinies or even their minds. I look back at him and reply, “Well I do got to say with your whole BEWARRRRE thing is pretty melodramatic and what’s with warning us about a puppy fingers or of the “REAPER” ohhhhh scaryyyyyy, God that sounds like something out of a Tim Burton film?”

He gave me slight nod in apparent agreement with my concerns, he then stroked his beard and with a smirk he addressed them, “Well as for the Puppy Fingers, I would tell you all more but there has to be a price paid first and for how I acted, well I like to…. reflect on and act as what my client sees me as or wants me to be, noticed how I was mystic but also slightly odd for the young lady and for your GasMasked Friend I was quick and to the point, it helps then to relax which helps me to peer being their veil.”

Well I got to say that’s a nice gimmick but, “So how bout me? What do you think I want you to be then?”

He nodded once more and replied with a grunt while pointed at the various symbols that he had around the room, “Humph, what you want me to be is like one of these symbols that I have adorning my dwelling with, to be wise and cryptic, to be a puzzle for your mind to unwrap. You are one who wants to take all the majicks from this world and find the meaning of all things. Nothing to you just IS.”

“Well life is a mystery, why fault me for trying to figure it out?” I countered, after all what's wrong with wanting to know how the world works?

His look turned to one of disappointment and he shook his head while replying, “No you’ve missed the point, it’s a journey. The end has no meaning with out the why, finding all the answers is not the reason; it’s looking for them that is the real point.”

For some reason what he just said…. I don’t know it hit me the wrong way and I snapped back at him, “And so you figured this out by reading my mind eh?”

“No.” He replied back unphased at my outburst. He then pointed to my face then my chest while saying, “By reading your face and your heart, much of fortune telling does not dwelling into the arcane since so many wear their destiny on their masks. Much can be divined by imply observing, for example I can tell your libido is suffering, you have been denied cetin needs for some time and it’s stating to get at you.”

“And you’ve figured that out how?” I asked, after all I am a guy so pointing out I wanted sex is a pretty obvious observation.

He then pointed to my left and asked, “That symbol to your left, what is it?”

I looked over at it, it was a symbol of a snake entering into a cup, I’ve been glancing over at since it’s been catching my eye, pretty basic symbol as far as they go. “This apothecary?” I answer point at it to make sure it was the right one, he nodded yes and I continued, “Well out side of a symbol of medicine…..” Then it hit me, “What does this have to do with anything?”

His eyes narrowed and the grin turned into a smirk as he told me what it had to do with anything, “It also is a symbol of the grail and lance, the dragon and the virgin.” He paused for a second, his smirk becoming a shit eating grin before he dropped on us the true meaning of it, “It’s a symbol of sex, of the healing majicks that act can bring and you have been glancing over at it at regularly since you have entered and I know you know what it means.”

Damn…… “Ok, I got to admit it, you’re pretty good.” I conceded, he WAS pretty observant but that still didn’t prove that he had special powers other then those of observation.

After seeing his lesson sink in his grin returned and he continued on, “Yes I’m pretty good but what of your fortune you want to ask? Well that’s….”

“Don’t you need to hold my hand or something, what about your third eye?” I asked cutting him off, he had to do with the other.

“Oh, the hand holding is just for show.” He replied with his palm positioned as if he was holding someone’s hand, “It can help sometimes but I do not need to do it all the time and I scanned all of you while I was reading Manticore and I know you do not whish for such a show so I’ll get right to the point. For you there is much I can tell, but much I can not tell you as of now with out you paying a price you can not pay.”

“Wait? What you mean by that?!” I asked, some how I didn’t think he was talking about money.

“Just what I said.” He replied, he looked me in my eyes and soothe to me, “Now moving on, you have a hole in your mind that is not yours.”

“You have a hole in your mind that is not yours.” my memories recalled Rana saying onto me I a cream I had….. how… how did he know about that….. suddenly a fear enveloped over me…. a deep terror at what he was going to say.

“And actions of your past have cursed your self and your friends present and future.” He continued, I could now feel my heart beating inside my chest, pounding against my ribs like it wanted to escape…..

“What did….. what actions…” I tried to plead out but my words were failing me.

“You have seen it, in your dreams……” He states, his eyes piercing into my soul, “What your love had done”

“My love….” I strutted out….. what did he mean… what did my dream mean… my love… why was it…..

He then looked away from and said, “And that is all that I can tell”

That… no that can’t be it, I pleaded out to him, “No you got to tell me more, what did that dream mean!?”

“Do you really want to know more, do you?” He asked back, his face now hanging as a concerned frown.

“Yes…. I have to know…” I had to know what my dream meant, I don’t normally remember dreams like this so needless to say I’ve been haunted by this one.

“Oh but I thought you skeptical of all this.” He replied mocking my earlier comments.

“I’ve… you know about something I’ve never told anybody…. that dream…” He had to tell me, he couldn’t just bring this up and not tell me why I had it.

He took a long hard drag on his hookah and seemed to go over my pleas in his mind. He then with out saying a word to me changed out the Hashish he was smoking and cleaned off the screen then lit it anew before answering with, “Fine then I will tell you of one more thing but please do recall what I said about the journey and I can’t yet say tell you want you want to really know of that dread we felt at me calling you the waxing moon.” He then stopped and brought his gaze back up to my eyes again as I tried to stutter out a protested at the fact he won’t answer my main question but before the words would come he gave me his finally soothing, “I see before you across the world legions calling out your name…”

“What?” was my response, “Why would anybody do that? Do I become a hero or something?”

“NO!” he shot back shaking his head, “They are calling out to you because they are the victims of your love.”

[Defectron]

The mysterious oracle then went on to tell Johnsons fortune.

"You will come home changed. What may seem weak here will be powerful in your home universe. Also, you will make love to your enemy and someone close to you has strong feelings towards you." He then returned to normal, well as normal as he could ever really be that is, and let go of Johnson hands and told him, “Well that’s all for the basic package and since I got rent to pay so if you want more it’s going to cost you.”

So if this guy was for real then that did indeed mean Johnson was from another universe. But making love to his enemy? What did that mean? It couldnt mean Johnson was going to go bummin witht he overlord later? I remembered him saying someone close would betray me. Would it be Johnson? If so it would make sense he'd sleep with the enemy though the overlord was a guy, as far as I knew Johnson wasn't gay, or was it just someone on the overlords side? Or even an enemy from his home universe? I would need to keep an eye on him just in case.

He then went on to read Ryujins fortune, Ryujin started out pretty skeptical but it soon became clear that the strange ram headed man was for real.

“Now moving on, you have a hole in your mind that is not yours.And actions of your past have cursed your self and your friends present and future.” What did that mean? Something Ryujin did his past would make trouble for us? I gave Ryujin a slightyl suspicious glance, he had seemed to be the most stable and dependable of everyone in a leadership position in our group, he couldn't be the betrayer?

“What did….. what actions…” Ryujin asked, he seemed to be having a bit of trouble with this.

“You have seen it, in your dreams……What your love had done” His love? These fortunes were raising more questions then they answered.

“My love….” Ryujin managed to stutter out, he didn't seem to be taking this very well.

He then looked away and said, “And that is all that I can tell”

“No you got to tell me more, what did that dream mean!?” Ryujin asked pleading.

“Do you really want to know more, do you?” He asked back, his face now hanging as a concerned frown.

“Yes…. I have to know…”

“Oh but I thought you skeptical of all this.” He replied mockingly

“I’ve… you know about something I’ve never told anybody…. that dream…”

He took a long hard drag on his hookah and seemed to consider this “Fine then I will tell you of one more thing but please do recall what I said about the journey and I can’t yet say tell you want you want to really know of that dread we felt at me calling you the waxing moon. I see before you across the world legions calling out your name…”

“What? Why would anybody do that? Do I become a hero or something?”

“NO!” he shot back shaking his head, “They are calling out to you because they are the victims of your love.”

Huh? Victims of Ryujins love? That seemed like the sort of fortune Tatsuya or maybe even Shinji would get but Ryujin? No there was probably some other meaning behind this. I glanced between the one who would make love to the enemy and the one whose love would curse the world. Would either of them be the one to betray me? I couldn't trust anyone, I would pretend not to be concerned, but I wouldn't lower my guard around any of them.

After we left

So far that guy seemed to be geniune, but I had to make an effort to verify what he said. "Well...that was interesting. I'm going to go check out that grilled eel place. Later..."

"Wait, he just told you not to go there." Ryujin said glancing over at me.

"I'm not going over there, I'm going to scope it out from a distance to see if anything unusual is going on. But if I don't come back soon, you know where to look for me." I said as I unfolded my wings and took off.

Later

I had gone back to the hotel to get some binoculars. After getting those I flew over to one of the taller buildings and landed before taking out my binoculars. I looked over at the grilled eel place. Sure enough something unusual was going on. Almost ten girls were crowded around someone, it was that bastard Tatsuya , he was over there playing around with more women. Was that what I was being warned about? So far I had managed to resist his power, but if he ever caught me off guard it could be bad. Maybe I should assassinate him, if he got hundreds of women pregnant and all their children had his power it could doom the human race to a future of inbred mutations. Fortunately most of the women here were vampires, and depending on the source of fiction many vampires were sterile, but still the fact that not all were was more then enough reason to worry. Wait that guy had said that I had to not go to the eel place to avoid ending up like Asuka? Had that bastard gotten to her while we were seperated? But then I saw something else that almost made me fall off my perch on the building. None other then Naomi was sitting inside the eel place making an order! What was she doing over here? That bastard saw her too and began to walk towards her!

"Oh no you don't, it's one thing to try to seduce me or Asuka...but I'm not going to let you get a chance at Naomi!" I said as I held out one hand, a tiny glowing sphere the size of a marble came into existence as I focused my electrical energy into ball lightning.

At the grilled eel place

"And since I have a free spot this saturday for a few more weddings, i was wondering if you would be interested in becoming my 407th wife?" He asked her.

"Uhhhh...Listen, it's nice of you to ask, but I don't really think...." Naomi began to say. This was weird, she wasn't reacting at all to his power. He'd met women who were resistant before like that tentacle girl, but no one had ever managed to just shrug it off without reacting at all. He'd lay it on even stronger, even straight men would be begging to bare his children at full streingth!

But before he could do this he noticed Naomi seemed to be looking at something else. A tiny glowing sphere seemed to be slowly circling around them.

"What the? What is that?" Tatsuya asked. The women all parted as the sphere slowly made its way towards him. Then before he could even try to run it shot towards him striking his Mikuru chan pillow setting it ablaze!

"Mikuru chan! NOOOOO!!!" He cried out as his pillow was engulfed in flames.

"Tatsuuuyaaa...sama...heeeelp meeee..." the pillow seemed to cry out in a pathetic voice as it was burned to ashes. But the sphere wasn't done yet, even as Tatsuya tried in vaint o put out his burning pillow "waifu" the sphere then flew up next to his hair setting it ablaze!

"AARRGHHH!!! My hair!" He shouted as he ran away patting his head, the sphere chasing him as it would occasionally graze his body, burning him each time. "Ow! OPw! Somebody help me!" He called out as he stumbled around letting out a yelp each time the sphere touched him. Tatsuya went sprinting away until he found a dumpster in a nearby alley diving inside it and closing the lid.

The women all quickly left to see if their beloved Tatsuya was alright leaving a bewildered Naomi.

"That was close, he almost got you." I said as I walked over to Naomi.

"You did that?" She asked me. "I didn't know you could make something like that."

"Making ball lightning takes a bit more effort. Don't tell anyone I did that though, that bastard seems to be pretty popular around here and all those women would probably hold a grudge if they found out I messed up their lover."

"A womans jealousy can be pretty scary. You didn't need to do that. I wasn't about to say yes to his advances." Naomi said as she ate a bit of the eel she got.

"You don't get it, that guys got some weird power that makes women fall in love with him. You were lucky I was here or he'd probably be taking you to some love hotel right now. The only reason why I didn't burn his dick off is because he's so damned popular around here. If anything happened to him the perpetrator would probably get lynched."

"Well thanks for saving me. He didn't use that power on you by any chance?" Naomi said teasingly giving me a hug.

"He uhhh...tried earlier but I was able to resist him. I gotta say feeling it in action was one of the creepiest things I've ever experienced. I never want to feel attracted to some pathetic pasty otaku shit like him again! By the way why are you here right now?" I asked her.

"Well I heard rumors about this place and thought I would check things out." She said in reply to that.

"Anyway it's good to have you around, guess I'll order something too, I havent had any good eel since before third impact." I said as I ordered.


Meanwhile somewhere in town

A manhole in some shady backalley was suddenly blown open, the lid flying through the air. Moments later a large dark form emerged as it stood up shaking off its damp clothes. It reached inside its cloak with one hand bringing out a large dark reapers scythe.

Outside of town

Four figures emerged from the darkness, all around them were what was left of several dozen vampire guards, littering the ground with bits and pieces of their mangeled corpses.

"This hive reeks of desire and hedonism. It will become a buffet of despair for us to east on." A tall dark imposing figure said as he slowly extracted the intestinse from a still partially alive vampire. Instead of fingers this man seemed to have strange nubs on his hand. It you looked really closely each nub looked like tiny hairless puppy face, each was voraciously gnawing on the poor vampires innerds.

"P-please...no more...stop..."

"No! It never stops! You will become one of us!" He gestured to another figure, a small girl with rubbery skin and dead glassy eyes like a dolls eyes. She slowly walked towards the half dead vampire before kissing him on the lips, she seemed to force something down his throat as she did so. As a strange fish floated above the corpses the other dead vampires also seemed to come back to life as if an if used by an invisible puppeteer.

"Buck...buckaw!" a strange man who appeared to be made entirely out of fried chicken said as it lifted its head up from two deep fried vampire corpses.

"Patience, let us savour every ounce of fear. Soon we will find our prey."

In the village

Masquerade picked up a communicator which she used to talk with other members of the overlords army "Demiurge? What is it? WHAT DID YOU SAY?! He sent HIM here!" She couldn't believe her ears, Demiurge had just warned her that the overlords most fearsome general "Edward Puppy Fingers" was heading for the town. Edward wasn't feared even by the overlords allies for nothing. He killed both freind and foe, only lowering his animosity to his god the overlord and several others under his command who shared his love for bathing the earth in blood.

"Your job will be to protect the girl with the tentacles from Edward. I'll also give you hand, this won't be an easy mission. Edward will kill us if we get in his way."

[GasmaskAvenger]

In the streets, a manhole opens up to reveal some dude in rough looking bum-like clothes on him, along with a sweatshit with its hood on his head. He's also wearing some kind of paintball mask on his face, completely obscuring his face.

As he slowly walks around, he runs into some blonde kid who mutters "I think I found myself a snack", but right before the kid attemps to bite the man, the man then grabs the kid by his neck and delivers a crippling chokeslam on him

After the man has slammed the kid onto the floor, he then takes the glove on his right hand to reveal a mechanical hand in which its fingers become claws. It then takes off his paintball mask and reveals a biomechanical demonic skull dripping with ooze. It then screams and lunges at the kid, immediately killing him.





Mr. Johnson



After we walked out of the fortune teller's place, Manticore then said "Well...that was interesting. I'm going to go check out that grilled eel place. Later..."

However, Ryujin interrupted her and said "Wait, he just told you not to go there."

"I'm not going over there, I'm going to scope it out from a distance to see if anything unusual is going on. But if I don't come back soon, you know where to look for me.", Manticore replied as she extended her wings and flew agay


I then looked at Ryujin and told him "Hey. I'm going to solo and check this city out alone. Do you mind if I do so?"

He then said "Sure. I'll just be looking around myself until Manticore comes back"

I then replied "Later" as I then ran off.


I then walked around the city, noticing that not much people were out at this time of the day. "Hmmm....a litttle lonely, eh? Oh well, fuck it."

As I walked around, I then ran into some kids who were involved in some kind of sex thing going on. I then noticed some weird white shit on the ground until it then donned on me. Ewww, who the fuck can jizz like that? Whoever the fuck creamed himself must shoot it out like a garden hose. Just...gross. So I managed to not step into the scrum on the floor and walked off, hearing the girl orgasm and then...bam! I got splooged!

YUCK!! That bitch's man sure has super semen shooting action. That's just...gross as hell.

So I then tried to find a place where I could clean the mammalsauce off of me until I ran into a weird group of people that must have just came straight out of an insane asylum from my place. The guy in the center was wearing some dirty looking trenchcoat and yet something looked, strange about his hands. What does this guy have...stubs? Is he some war veteran who lost his fingers in the war or...what?

Then, this fairly short gal walked up to me and stood directly in front of my package.

"You look like someone that would fit in with us very well", the girl told me in a fairly seductive voice as she slid her rubbery fingers upwards my crotch.

"Uhhhh...excuse me? I got a girlfriend back home. I'm taken so....sorry.", I told her.

However, I then felt something sharp hit me.

"OW!! What the hell?!?", I screamed as I felt the sharp poke.

"You're going to take a trip you'll never, ever forget", the gal with pale as fuck rubber skin told me as I then slowly fell down onto the floor, losing my step in reality as I slipped into a fuckwad of a world that would even give Manticore pause.



Brief, harsh flashes of various images of human atrocities flashed in my eyes, while I saw a distorted looking rainbow go from looking all gay into resembling vomit.

More images of pain and suffering flashed as I then fell spinning into a black and blue vortex while I heard voices of what sounded like recordings of mental patiences screaming about weird, non-sequitar stuff and various audio excerpts of bodily operations.

More haphazard flashes of disgusting, disturbing images flashed and I then found myself in a fairly fancy looking bedroom, on top of a bed.

"Huh?", I then muttered as I then got out of the sheets on the bed, yet discovered that my arms and legs were firmly tied up, preventing me from leaving.

I then saw a woman walkiing in the room, wearing a pure white mask with doll-like features on it. Her platinum blonde hair was so shiny, I swear that if she got any closer, I would become blind.

"Stay. Let me give you pleasure", she told me in a sultry, yet somewhat muffled and badly pronounced voice.

What? She's got a lisp? It's almost like if she's someone who's mouth nerves were shot up and poorly functioning.

As she got close to my face, she then took off my hat, then took off my gas mask, tossing them to the left side of the bed. She then pulled the sheets off, revealing my legs and crotch, in which my pants are still on.

She then unzipped my pants and exposed my weiner and said "Mmmmm...I love myself an organic lolipop."

To be honest, I really hoped that underneath the mask was a smoking hot babe who's face would stun any regular guy and instantly turn a queer straight, but no

She took off her mask...and hair, to reveal that....OH MY FUCKIN' GOD

OH FUCK ME ON A POGOSTICK!!!

NO!!! NO!!!! NO!!!!!

NO!!! DON'T BLOW ME, YOU CRISPY CREAM, SILLY PUTTY FACED FUCKUP!!

DON'T BLOW ME!!! JUST, NO!!!

NO!!!!!!


"Whats the matter, William-sama?", I heard a young girl ask me.

No, wait. That's just no ordinary young girl...it's my gal pal Rei!

Am I back?

and then, I realized that I was stripped naked. Completely naked.

and on top of me was Rei. Entirely naked as well.

Wait a second...as I looked down from her face straight down her naked body, I saw her pubic area...and then it hit me...

Where's my cock?

Oh shit.

I'm no pedo. I'm not a fuckin' pedo

"Rei? What the fuck are you doing? I can't have sex with you? You're only a teenager.", I yelled at her in absolute confusion. She's got my joystick in her pouch.

No. No. I can't screw a 14 year old. Not at all.

"What about Shinji? I thought you loved Shinji?", I asked her

"Forget about Shinji, William-sama. No, I wanted you. I wanted you to touch me in my sensitive places. I wanted you to fuck me and make love to me", she told me as she started to bounce up and down on me, apparrently trying to make me shoot some love sauce.

"No...No..no. Do you...do you got a condom on me?", I asked

"No, William-sama. I want...I want...YOUR BABIES!", she screamed in joy, which then morphed into what sounded like her orgasming

Aw shit!

and then...I stood up. Back in all of my clothes.

Nothing happened, at all, yet I was in a completely black room with a door in front of me.

"Should I open that door...or not?", I asked myself "Oh, fuck it."

So I then opened it, only to see the horror the room contained.

They are all dead.

Rei, Shinji, Manticore, Ryujin, Kensuke, Toji, Joesph, Lil' Z, Naomi, Aoba, Hyuga, Phoenix, Noriko, Hikari, Rana, Koska, all of them...

...except Asuka, who was sitting in a fancy looking chair, dressed entirely in a nazi superior uniform and wearing a Nazi commander hat.

"You...you...bitch!", I yelled at her

She then erected out of the chair and started to scream at me entirely in german, yet her vocalisms seemed familiar.

She was imitating fuckin' Hilter, of all people.

She then pointed her finger at me and all of a sudden, these german soliders jumped into the room, breaking out of the windows. Their faces were...odd. Very mechanical looking...and red, complete with several different pure green eyes.

She then barked more german out in her best Hitler impersonation and her soldiers began to start shooting at me.

I then dashed out of the room, only to fall into what looked like the world of Super Mario Bros., complete in its 8-bit glory...and the giant head of Leonardo DiCaprio, just looking at me.

"Hi there. Time come home, Willy!", Leo yelled out with the cheesiest smile on his face and thus he opened his mouth, in which I fell directly into

and I fell for hours into the bowels of the star of Titanic, Romeo + Juliet, The Beach, The Departed and such, only to land hard on the floor and wake up in a hospital room, covered from head to toe in bandages.

I stood up, walked to the nearby mirror and began to rip the bandages off my face

"William-sama! William-sama! Wake up!", I heard Rei's voice scream at me as I then revealed the horror under the bandages.

My face.

My face.

Its...its like my fears have come true.

I'm a fuckin' burn victim. Complete with pure facial disfigurement.

God damn you, Marcell. God damn you to heaven, while I can sit my ass in hell and savor all the peanut butter M&Ms and Ben and Jerry Ice Cream I can

"WILLIAM-SAMA, WILLIAM-SAMA! WAKE UP!!!", Rei's voice screamed and I then let out a massive, pain-strucken scream...and I woke up, back in the hotel room. back in my regular clothes, with all of the mammal sauce cleaned off of me.

"William-sama, are you okay?", Rei asked me in a worried tone.

"I...I got drugged. Those weirdo fuckers drugged me.", I growled

"I found you on the streets, muttering complete nonsense about burn victims, old-ass movies, Ice Cream, violent song lyrics and candy", Ryujin informed me.

"Shit. I gotta get some payback", I informed them. "But where's Manticore?"

[Defectron]

As Naomi and I walked through town it was then I noticed a couple people who seemed to be having sex in an alleyway. I'd never seen anything that rediculous before, the guy was shooting ten foot long streams of splooge from a giant cock.

"Eeew...I think someone read too much hentai before third impact..." I said as Naomi and I made our way past them. "Though I guess I could sorta understand why a guy would want unlimited splooge, male orgasms are too short." this seemed to make Naomi laugh.

As we kept walking, I got a feeling something was wrong. Lying in the middle of the sidewalk was a number of bones. All the flesh that had been on them had been picked completely clean. Growling as it chewed on the skeliton was a bizzare looking hairless puppy. Wait a puppy? That fortunteller had said something about puppys.

"What the fuck?" I said as I looked down at it.

Naomi seemed to get a bit worried as she saw this. "Uhhh...maybe we should go somewhere else." She began to say.

"It matters little where you go. We will catch up to you sooner or later." I heard a deep voice say." As soon as this unknown figure announced its presence, the puppy was yanked into the air by an umbilical cord attached to its stomach. I couldn't believe it, the fortune hadn't been a riddle at all! It was literal! There really was a man with puppy fingers!

"Rowf!" The cord was attached to the hand of a strange man who was looking down on us from atop a telephone pole. He held a severed head next to his face with his other hand, the head of a small puppy was poking from a gaping hole in his skull as it chewed the flesh from the severed head growling slightly.

"Whoah..." I said as I took a few steps back in surprise. As I did so the puppy gave a yelp as dozens of long curving blades emerged from its body.

"Don't worry, I won't kill you quickly...you will die slowly...afterall suffering is the best spice for ones meat!" He said as he began to swing the bladed puppy like a flail. Grabbing Naomi with one tentacle I dodged to the side as he sent the puppy flying at me. It whizzed by where I had been as it slammed into the ground making a small crater. He pulled back sending the strange animal flying back up to his hand before he leapt down to meet us.

"Sufferings the best spice huh? Well can't say I feel like eating you, so I'll just make it quick!" I said as I thrust my hand out releasing a huge lightning bolt that was strong enough that it caused the sound of thunder to reverberate through the streets. It struck the mysterious man head on and seemed to stop him for a moment as he jolted from the energy running through his body. But then as I let up he still stood there although he was smoking slightly.

"You cannot escape your fate...my puppys will TEAR YOUR SOUL APART!" He said as he began to advance on us

"Naomi get out of here! I'll hold him off!"

"No way! I'm not leaving you alone!" She said sticking by my side. This was no good I couldn't go all out with her around. I had to get her out of here.

"HAHAHAHA! Your efforts are in vain. Why not just surrender? I will paint such an exquisite portrait of torment with your flesh!" The puppy fingered freak laughed as it slowly walked towards us. Lightning didn't work, but I knew something else that might! I pulled out Isseis gun, but before I could shoot, someone else made their presence known.

But then the dark puppy wielding figure stopped as someone else emerged from the alley behind us. It was a large guy dressed like a bum. He had a hood over his head covering most of his face. He then dropped something he was carrying letting blood and other substances splatter on the ground as he dropped it. I recognized it as the severed penis that belonged to that weird hentai freak we saw earlier. He looked up as we saw his face, it looked like some sort of biomechanical demon. He let out a low growl as he saw us.

"Oh no! It's him!" Naomi said as she seemed to recognize the second man "The reaper followed me here!"

"The reaper?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's this weird guy who just shows up now and then and tries to attack me." Naomi said looking between the reaper and the puppy fingered freak.

The freak didn't seem to expect him either "This prey belongs to me...if you dare to intrude on us you will soon join them!"

"Well screw that! Were getting out of here even if we gotta go through him!" I said as I aimed Isseis gun at the reaper and fired several shots. But then something very unexpected happened. The bullets all stopped as they hit a shimmering barrier in front of the reaper! There was small pop as the spent bullets fell tot he ground harmlessly. This thing had an AT field! With a bellow of rage the reaper charged forward, there was no time to escape. But then the reaper suddenly stopped as something leapt out attacking it, it looked like a giant white wolf, it was biting the reapers fore arm. Effortlessly the giant swatted the animal away sending it flying across the street. As the wolf smacked against the side of a truck it fell to the ground. Its body seemed to morph into that of a woman. A porcelain mask fell from her face shattering on the ground. She then looked up at us, she had no facial features under her mask! Was this some sort of freak convention today?

"Hurry! Get out of here before its too late!" she somehow called out even though she had no mouth.


I decided it was best to take her advice and grabbed Naomi, putting all of my power into taking flight with her in my arms.

"M-Manticore...wait what are you doing?" Naomi said taken by surprise as I literally whisked her off her feet.

"Getting the hell out of here!" I said as I looked down to see the reaper crouching before launching himself into the air in an attempt to grab at my legs. He must have incredible leg power, in a single bound he had almost caught us even as we rose beyond thirty feet in the air. He may have done it too if one of the freaks puppies hadn't latched onto his leg biting down.

Edward gave a tremendous tug sending the reaper smashing tot he ground with enough force that he shattered the pavement sending bits of rock and dirt flying into the air. Even the windsheilsds of the nearby cars were smashed to pieces from the vibrations. "I told you! That was my prey, I will not give them to you!" he hissed out.

The reaper slowly stood up growling as the two horrors prepared to do battle over who would get to us first.

[Ryjin]

Out of all the Greek patrons and deities it was the titan Prometheus that seemed to call out to me. I always felt that it was the duty of those WITH to make sure those WITH OUT had a fair hand dealt to them and from this I built up my revolutionary faith. Of course the aspiration of one such as him was common for those such as my self whom was both blessed and cursed with the fire in the mind of man…….

“So everything went off to plan? Your first operation, I’m so proud. Looks like things are most defiantly are going to start getting interesting around here.” She said to me with the proudest smile I’ve ever seen her give me ending it with a soft kiss against my lips. I took a moment before replying back to her looking her over, looking over her hair; she recently gotten a shorter cut, almost a bob cut but not quite, and while I was missing her beautiful silky waist long look the shorter style did extenuate the sharp features of her face in all the right ways. I then stroked her arm, she had just gotten the update and it now felt so natural but in a way I also missed how her old arm felt, while it was somewhat course felling and God knows how many bruises I have from accidentally bumping into it, it was still a part of her and to me it was… it was just part of how she should feel to me I guess.

After soaking in a satisfying amount of her beauty and how happy she was for me right now I finally raised my head a little and responded back, “You should have been there, should of seen the look on his face. Well that’s one problem down adn now we just got a million more to go.”

“Hmmmmm, what about Tony then?” She asked stroking my hair.

“That little traitorous Judas-goat? Oh he’s been handled.” I assured her letting out a mock purr in response to her stroking of my hair, God I didn’t know what it was but it was just when someone stroked my hair I was…. it was pretty damned good.

“So we have a new day dawning ahead of us now don’t we?” She said looking me in the eyes. She then rolled over onto her back and looked up towards the ceiling and asked with an almost sarcastic tint to her voice, “So what if the world doesn’t go along with our plan? What do we do then?”

I lean over her and looked back into her beautiful pool like eyes smiling when I answered, “Well then I guess it will be just you and me then and the whole world will be set ablaze.”


3 years later……….

“They are calling out to you because they are the victims of your love.” The Teller stated with dead certainty.

My mind was then flooded, overcome with fragmented and almost incoherent images from that dream…… I saw that tower…. no…. the form, that body of light awakening… the colors, the textures the smells and smoke….. What happened?! What did I do? Why did I have a hole in my mind?! WHO DID THIS TO ME?!!!! Everything felt as if it was closing in, I felt smothered… trapped….. and the next thing I new it I was out side of the Tellers shop….. I don’t even remember walking out…. .. it was in the middle of Manticore saying something about going over to a eel place when I started to come back to……. wait…. a eel place? Didn’t he say something……."Wait, he just told you not to go there!" I called out to her.

"I'm not going over there; I'm going to scope it out from a distance to see if anything unusual is going on. But if I don't come back soon, you know where to look for me." She replied as she unfolded her wings and with a blue flash took off before I could intervene any further.

Then from behind me I heard Johnson ask, "Hey. I'm going to solo and check this city out alone. Do you mind if I do so?"

I probably wasn’t’ a good idea to let him run off with his own, he was tough but not anywhere as much as Manticore was but I stupidly agreed with him since I felt like I need to be alone right now and he then said “Later.” and ran off and now I was alone.

I walked around for what seemed like an hour, I wasn’t really doing my job at this point as I just couldn’t seem to shake the Tellers words or my dreams images from my mind but no… it was time to get back to work. I did my best to shove all this to the back of my mind and figured it was time to head back over than bar, not only did I still need to get back Manticores top Bars like this place tend to be the kind of place that draws groups who want to plan things they don’t want to be privy to others so if there was a trap her waiting for us the hunters who set it more then likely could be found there or at the very lest someone who knows some guy who doe know something so I made my way down the alleyways and side streets to avoid being trailed where much to my surprise I ran across Johnson who laying face down on the asphalt. What the hell happened to him? He was bloody and beaten and rambling about burn victims and horror shit almost incoherently and he seemed to be covered with some sort of white slime… Shit I knew it was bad idea to let him wonder off like that… shit what was I thinking?! I got to be smarter then this…. can’t let my problems interfere with their safety… I went to pick him doing the best not to touch that white shit when the slimes smell hit me…. what the fuck?! It was cum!

Despite my normal aversion to coming in contact with man juice I picked him up and slung him over my shoulder while whispering to him, "You own me for this!" and I took off for the hotel as fast as I could. Thankfully when I got there everyone seem to be in the room or off doing something so I was able to make to his room without anyone seeing him in this ummmmmmm, errrrrr "compromised situation". I dug his room key from out of his coat only to find it already unlocked...... shit did he just not Locke it or.... I took out my pistol with my off hand and slowly opened the door only to find Rei standing there with a rather confused look on her face. She start4ed to say something about looking for William but as soon as she saw Johnson slung over my arm she bleated out, 'What, what happened?!"

"I don't know Rei, some one fucked him over badly, I need you to run off and get me a med kit and some ice wrapped in a towel; I'll go and get him clean up. Now go!"

[Defectron]

Some time later

I landed with Naomi across town, from the look of it we lost those weirdos.

"What the fuck were those?" I asked as I put her down.

"I'm not sure about the puppy guy, but like I was saying before the reapers been following me around since I came back from instrumentality. I don't know who he is or why he does it, but that's how its been."

Naomi must truly be a resourcful person to have avoided getting killed by that monster all this time being mostly on her own. "That thing had an AT field. That reminds me of something Rei told me. Someone took her angelic DNA when she came back. I wonder if it couldve been that thing. Then again I suppose it could also just be someone using the reimagining phenomena to mimic an at field? Either way it would be worth looking into. But right now I think we should just find some help." I said to her as I checked around our surroundings, we'd gotten away from those weirdos but we were pretty far away from the hotel too. I didn't feel like wasting more energy flying in case I had to fight either of those two again int he near future.

But I didn't have to ponder this long as I heard the flapping of wings. Looking up I saw an amazing sight! A white pegasis was descending slowly from the sky. It slowly landed trotting to a stop in front of us.

"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any weirder..." the winged horse trotted over to a nearby car before bumping its nose against it. When it did this , its body slowly began to morph, I could here the sound of flesh stretching and bones popping in and out of place as it transformed. It lets out a neigh as it shraink and contorted into the body of a woman, moments later clothes materialized around her body as she turned to face us. I immediatly recognized her as the one who had helped us. The woman with no face, though right now she was wearing a mask.

"Uhhh..." I wanted to ask her a question, but given the crazy entrance i was too distracted to really think of what I wanted to ask her. She took the initiative to tell us a bit about herself on her own.

"Hello, my name is Masquerade."

"Your the one who helped us before. Why did you do that?" I asked her.

"You've been targeted by the overlord. I'm a member of a group that opposes his forces , the only one in the world witht he resources strong enough to fight evenly with him and I have been assigned with helping to protect you who has been specifically targeted."

"Those freaks back there also worked for him?" I asked her

"The overlords forces are vaster then you imagined. It was a mistake for you and your friends to come here. However, now that we've met I can give you a bit of help." Masquerade said. "If you'll accept my ride, I can take you to a place that is safe."

"You want us to ride on your back or something? I don't see a car here?" No sooner had I said this though, a ATV materialized right next to us.

"Holy shit! Will you people stop doing so many shocking things in such a short span of time."

"You should know better then to be surprised by now." A familiar voice said as the door opened, inside I recognized the driver as being the fortune teller.

"YOU! What did I just say about doing so many shocking things at once?"

"You can call me Demiurge, as long as I'm behind the wheel, no enemies will be able to percieve our presence. Now quickly get inside!"

"Well I guess we can't pass this up. Come on lets see what this is all about." Naomi said taking my hand.

"I don't know, these guys did help us but this all just seems kinda shady..." I said as I got in reluctantly. Sure enough as we drove no one else bothered us. About half an hour later we arrived at an expensive mansion. Masquerade lead Naomi and myself into a room full of masks.

"These masks can be used as disguises. I'll lend you a few of them to use so that you can escape from any enemies you can't beat. The overlord is specifically targeting you two as well as one other..."

"Ryujin.,..it's gotta be him, your ram headed buddy said the reaper was interested in us two. Guess I'll take one for him too. How do these things work anyway?"

"To activate the mask, just place it over your face and rub its nose. After doing so you will change into whoever wore that mask first. To remove it you just need to lightly hit your nose and it will come undone. I can use these masks indefinitely, but with other people they can only work for a max of one hour." Masquerade explained.

Naomi picked up a mask and put it on, her body seemed to contort and grow taller changing shape slightly. When it fully merged with her she looked like Edward Cullen.

"No...just no...I can accept a lot of disguises but we aren't going to pretend to be twilight vampires." I said as I poked Naomis nose causing the mask to pop off as she changed back to normal. I then picked up a random mask and put it on. I felt my body begin to shrink, my middle boob rapidly shrunk between my cleavage until it vanished, the other two got a bit smaller too. I let out a small yelp as I felt my tail vanish into my rear end as it stopped. When it it was over I looked just like Asuka, I was even wearing the same clothes she had on earlier the last I saw her. Wait did that mean Asuka used this mask earlier?

"Whoah...holy shit I'm Asuka..." I said as I ran my hands over my body. "This aint too bad...I still like my usual form better though. Hows about this "ARE you stupid!" "You'll never be as awesome as me wonder girl!" not bad huh?" I said as I went through several Asuka impressions before removing the mask. As I did so I once again felt by body contort and change and the space between my breasts rapidly swelled as my third boob came back into existence. Those transformations would take some getting used to. That seemed to be too high profile to be used as a disguise but I would definitely be keeping that one. "Listen changing into Asuka is fun and all, but do you have any dragons or giants or something like that here?"

"Uhh...I don't think that would be a good idea, I'm letting you use these masks so you can hide, it would be best not to use something that would draw attention to yourselves."

"Damn...well I'm still keeping the Asuka mask, hehe maybe I should put it on someone elses face as a prank. You wouldn't happen to have Rei too would you?" Masquerade only shook her head in response as we continued to look through the masks for good disguises.

[Ryjin]

"But where's Manticore?" Johnson asked looking rather confused.

“Don’t know if she made it back yet, after I found you I ran back here and fixed you up so I haven’t really had any chance to check. But the better question is what the hell happened to you?” I ask him with Rei following suit with, “Yeah William, what happened?”

“Well the thing about… whoa!” Johnson starts to say as he tries to step forward only to stumble but before he could fall I quickly lean over and catch him, looks like what ever poison or drug he had in him was still effecting him but given how I found him that’s not really any surprise, although I got to say I’m pretty impressed that he’s even recovered even this much!

“Thanks man.” he replied as he righted himself using my shoulder as a crutch. He took a look around and then ask, “Hey where’s my stuff?”

“Oh the chainsaw is on the dresser over there.” I told him pointing behind him, I then point over to the chair to his left that had a bag with his mask on top sitting on it and say, “The magnum still in your trench pocket and it’s along with the rest of your clothes and your hat in that bag but I’d wait until we gave them a thoural cleaning before you put any of that on…… you kinda got slimed in the worst way possible man.”

I then help him walk over and collect his things which he sets on the bed, he then put back on his gasmask and after he got the last strap attached he almost collapses again. “Seems like what ever they pumped me with is still messing with me but I think I’ll manage.” He says after taking a moment to clear his head, he glances over at Rei and then tell us what the hell happened to him, "I was walking the streets and ran into a real group of insane asylum freaks. Their leader was that puppy finger fuck the fortune teller described to us in Manticore's vision. I would have been able to take 'em on, but this freaky doll chick put the moves on me, which I then rejected her attempts, only for her to pump me up with the shit that sent me into….god fuckin' damn...a real freakshow of my personal hell"

"So, William-sama, can you describe to me what happened after they did that to you?" Rei ask him.

Looking more then somewhat embarrassed as he looked back at here he stumbled out, "Not now. When I’m feeling better, I will, because that was no dream. It was like an LSD freakout on a massive scale!"

Looking disappointed that Johnson wasn’t going to tell her about the dream she tried to press the issue further by pleading, “Are you sure, it looks like the dream trou…..” but before she could finish the door busted open flying off of its hinge and in came some guy wearing a hoodie and had his face covered by a paint ball mask!

"Hey buddy! It's not nice to come in without knocking, jackass!" Johnson shouted out at the douche who had just busted in on us as Rei partially hid behind him!

The creep ignored him and looked over at me and let out a hisss prompting Johnson to yell out, "Hey pal, you didn't quite gave me an answer to why you have no manners" but before he could finish the guy charged at us!

With my off hand I quickly whip out my pistol and open fire with a three round burst only for each shot to be absorbed by an orangeish-yellow octagonal force field the sight of which caused Rei to shout out, “An A.T. Field?!”

Seeing as my gun didn’t work since the fucker had a fucking A.T. Field I shouted, “Rei take him!” as I slumped Johnson off my shoulder hoping she’ll be able to catch him and in an act of braveish stupidity I counter charged slamming hard into him knocking us both back and bruising the shit out of my side! It felt like I just collided with a wall of metal! Before he could reacted I quickly throw out my right arm and palmed him in the mask creaking the glass and knocking him over onto the ground but shit! It felt like a palmed a firkin’ light pole and it was at that moment I was assured that he WAS made of metal….. not good…..

With him momentarily not a threat I glanced back over at Rei who was now just barely propping up Johnson and told her, “Rei get him out of here, get to Zero!” I then turn back too face this metal fuck only to see something blur into my vision and before I could react my world turned to one of starts as what felt like a crowbar meet my face in the most unkindly of manners knocking me to the ground! I swear to god it felt like my face now had a dent in it!

With my world still in black form the hit I heard Johnson yelling out, "Hey...I'll follow you, kid. Just...just, don't go too fast now" and the sound of Rei struggling to hold him up, looks like they took the hint.

When my vision came back it was just in time to see my metal attacker reached down and grabbed me by my shirt and his other hand open up into fucking claws! Needing to act quick before this fucker carved me up I did the first thing that came to mind which was to wrap both of my arms around his while I hooked my left leg around his right and rolled with all the strength I could muster forcing him to roll with me and hit the ground or risk a broken arm. After he fell over I used my momentum to roll myself on top of him. I then do my best to pin him down trapping his arms under my knees and jamming my elbow into his neck only for him to knock me off with a yellow flash sending me crashing into the wall casing a picture a few feet from me fall off, thankful the adrenalin was keeping the edge off the pain but I could already feel my body stiffing up, my face was starting to swell up, the stitches in my left leg had opened back up and I could fell the blood stream down my thigh and my vision was starting to blur; this wasn’t going well at all, not only was he made out of frikin’ metal, he had a fucking A.T. Field I find a way to deal with. I forced my vision back into focus just in time to see him charging at me again with both his hand now turned to claws. Ok Michalik, now what are you gong to do?

[GasmaskAvenger]

Mr. Johnson




“Don’t know if she made it back yet, after I found you I ran back here and fixed you up so I haven’t really had any chance to check. But the better question is what the hell happened to you?”, Ryujin asked me

Rei then followed up on what Ryujin said by asking “Yeah, William-sama, what happened?”

I stood and said “Well the thing about… whoa!", only to suddenly stumble, in which Ryujin manages to catch me


yeah, i'm still feeling the effects of that shit Dollskin injected into me, but at least I have left The Last Road in Hell and now back in reality.

“Thanks man.”, I told Ryujin, as I then leaned towards his shoulder to keep myself balanced. However, I then realized that i've been reduced to just my Master T-Shirt and black jeans, which lead me to ask Ryujin “Hey where’s my stuff?”

“Oh the chainsaw is on the dresser over there.”, Ryujin told me, pointing behind me. He alson pointed where my gas mask and hat are at, which is on top of a bag. “The magnum still in your trench pocket and it’s along with the rest of your clothes and your hat in that bag but I’d wait until we gave them a thoural cleaning before you put any of that on…… you kinda got slimed in the worst way possible man.”, He also informed.


Oh, that kid with super ejaculation action? Heh. Maybe later, i'll tell him about that, as well as the hell I just went through.

So he then assisted me to put my shit back on, bringing me back to how they recognize me and such.

Although I nearly stumble, I then tell them “Seems like what ever they pumped me with is still messing with me but I think I’ll manage.”. After that, I look at Rei, then tell the both of them "I was walking the streets and ran into a real group of insane asylum freaks. Their leader was that puppyfinger fuck the fortune teller described to us in Manticore's vision. I would have been able to take 'em on, but this freaky doll chick put the moves on me, which I then rejected her attemps, only for her to pump me up with the shit that sent me into..god fuckin' damn...a real freakshow of my personal hell"

"So, William-sama, can you describe to me what happened after they did that to you?", Rei asked me

However, I replied "Not now. When i'm feeling better, I will, because that was no dream. It was like an LSD freakout on a massive scale!"

Right before I could do anything else, the door suddenly bursted off as some big homeless man came into the door, wearing a paintball mask of all things on his face.

"Hey buddy! It's not nice to come in without knocking, jackass!", I yelled at the bum

He didn't respond and instead set his targets on Ryujin, which led me to say "Hey pal, you didn't quite gave me an answer to why you have no manners"

However, that pissed him off, to which Ryujin pulled a gun out and started to shoot him. However, the bullets were entirely deflected by some orangish-yellow force field thing

“An A.T. Field?!”, Rei welped at this very sudden revelation

All of a sudden, Ryujin let me loose and told Rei to take me and run away to Unit 00, her Evangelion.

"Hey...I'll follow you, kid. Just...just, don't go too fast now", I told Rei and thus she then ran off to Unit 00, while I tried my hardest to follow her, only to fall and roll through the staircase.

However, after a minute of lying on the floor, I felt someone lifting me up in the air, thus making me get a hold of my hat, only to be thrown into the cockpit of Unit 00.

"Like last time, hold tight!", Rei told me with a smirk and giving me a thumbs up as the whole thing got ready, but as soon as she got Unit 00 set up, we heard loud footsteps coming from the streets.

"What the hell is that coming from?", I asked Rei

"I dunno", she replied, only for us to catch a glimpse of another Evangelion. This time with red armor

"Un...Un...Unit 02?". Rei muttered in confusion as she saw the thing walking towards us. "Did Asuka find it all of a sudden?",

Howeven, we then saw a screen pop up, showing Asuka wearing an eye patch on her left eye....oh shit! It's the Prime clone of Asuka!!

She's got Unit 02!!! We're fucked!

[Defectron]

OOC: I'm disguised as Kiri Koomori in this post, a character from Sayonara Zetsubou sensei, specifically I'm disguised as her in the scene where she's riding the horse on the left side of the screen in this video at 3:50

IC:

"Well that was interesting. We sure got to try being a lot of different people." I said to Naomi as I rode her away from Masquerades mansion. Naomi had put on a mask that disguised her as a white horse. I had put on a mask that turned me into a girl that resembled Kiri Koomori from the anime "Sayonara Zetsubou sensei. Kiri Koomori was a Hikkikomori girl with pale skin and really long dark hair. To be honest if I was going to try being someone from that series I would have preferred Chiri but this was alright too. Clearly whoever this mask had taken the form from had come back as Kiri, it wasn't just someone who looked like her, I knew this because it also generated that blanket she always carried around with her in the anime.

"Next time you be the horse, walking in this form feels strange." Naomi said, apparantly this mask she had used copied a talking horse. Where did Masquerade find these people?

"Come on Naomi I like riding you."

"I'm sure you do. By the way this body belonged to a male horse. Before we change back would you care to try a little experimentation? I think it'd be quite an experience to have sex as a horse, I'm a little curious."

"Naomi, I'm pretty open minded about the stuff we do when we make out, but I think I gotta draw the line somewhere." I replied to her as we continued down the road. As we went our way I noticed a number of cars drive by, some with heavily armed vampire guards. "Uhoh, looks like something might have happened. I wonder if it has anything to do witht he overlords assassins?" Those cars were all heading in the direction of the hotel.

Then a man on a motorcycle pulled up next to us "Hey what are you doing? Van ordered all of us to go down and lynch those newcomers!"

"Really? Well I guess I should go help you then, those bastards sure had it coming!" I said playing along, it looked like Masquerade was right, this city was one huge trap. If it wasn't for her help I would probably be in loads of trouble right now trying to fight these people off. I had to get these masks to the others. But it looked like it wouldn't be that easy, in the distance I saw unit 00 rising to life , meeting it head on was none other then unit 02!

"Unit 02? I thought it was destroyed...then again if 00 could come back from exploding I guess its no surprise its here too." But who was piloting it then? Could it be Asuka? No that couldn't be? But then I saw something else, slowly walking towards the two evas was that freakish green and black eva with the tentacles! If unit 02 was being used by the enemy, Rei could be in serious trouble.

[Ryjin]

Ok Michalik, now what are you gong to do? I desperately thought to myself as that metallic freak who apparently had some sort of grudge against me prepared to deliver its coup de grace. I had almost no time to think, I had to do something and quick or I was fucked so I looked him over and tried my best to anticipate what ever his plan of attack was based on the way he was coming at me; Let’s see he’s coming at me with his right hand reared back ready to claw me, his left arm is down.... leaving his right side open if just barely As he swung foreword with his striking arm I ducked down and swung my shoulder into him checking him. He impacted my side with what felt like the force of a small car but thankfully I had the mass advantage and he rebounded back knocking him off balance but not before his claw managed to still graze my temple carving out a chunk of my face thankfully just missing my left eye but yanking out a wad of hair out as he finished his stroke (this is why it’s not a good idea for soldiers to have long hair just to let you know). Between the chuck sliced out of my face, the impact of said blow knocking the stars out of the sky and into my head and the clump of hair that just got pulled out I was hurting like a mother fucker but I had no time to pussy out right now, he was open an I all I had was a split second to make my move! I reared back my right arm and threw out a palming strike smashing into the underside of his chin knocking him back a couple of feet which I quickly followed up with a left palm, then a right with each one knocking him back further and further and just as I threw out another left palm strike a yellow flash erupted before me and hand slammed into his A.T. Field and twisted at a most unnatural angle sending a sharp twang of pain shouting up my arm and making my eyes water and he wasted no time following up with a swipe of his claw lacerating my chest misting the air with my blood and knocking me back along with all the wind in my lungs … fuck I was bleeding bad…. really bad, from my left thing, temple and now my chest… Come on man, you got to do something, I was facing death… this thing was going to kill me….. that familiar ball of lead was forming in my stomach once more, my skin was going clammy…. I think I’m going into shock… shit this is bad….. I don’t want to fucking die…. not now, not like this! He then brought his left claw down to finish the job and with out even thinking about it I shot up with my right arm to block the blow just barely stopping it while at the same time I turned into him to checking him again as I wrapped my arm around his bending it back while palming the elbow with me left hand resulting in a most satisfying “SANP!!” as it s elbow shattered and using my momentum I force him over to the right lining him up with the window and with all my might I slammed into him charging forward smashing him through the windows glass and flying out onto the street below, just barely catching myself on the sided of the window frame in time to avoid falling out after him!

I knew I would just be fooling myself if I even for a moment believed that he was even slowed down by this so without even stopping to catch my breath I ran out into the hallway looking for Phoenix or Ikari to warn them about what was happening and I almost run over the former as she seemed to be in a rush herself!

After catching her breath and recovering from both the sock of me coming out of nowhere and almost running her down she took one look at me and blurted out, “The fuck happened to you?”

I went to explain about the attack and Johnson and Rei heading off to Zero since I had a bad feeling about what was going on but do to the swelling I found hard and painful to talk so it took me a few tries to get my story across.

“So this fucker is trying to kill you huh.” Phoenix replied to my story shaking her head. She then went to tell me more oh so good news, “Well when it rains it fucking pours, the reason I was coming up here was I was coming to get you guys since on my way back from talking to the mayor I saw what seemed to be a large angry mob approaching, and then out of the blue Unit 02 shows up at the edge of town and since I know Asuka hasn’t left her room since she got her no good can be coming form this and to top this all off that Chinese Eva just activated!” she then looked my over again before looking me in the eyes and in her most serious tone asked, “Do you think you’re up to a fight right now?”

I nodded yes despite the fact that I was far from ok right now, in fact it was pure will and adrenalin that was keeping me upright as the blood was streaming down my leg side and chest but right now I couldn’t let this bother me; I was needed, we were under attack again….. FUCK! Why couldn’t this town be safe! Why can’t we get a moments rest!.

She gave me a “yeah right” look then replied, “If you say so. Alright, I need you to make it to Jet while I get Shiro from the bar and make our way over to Trident, I’ll also send someone to get Rana out of that hospital just to be safe; come on let’s go!”

We then made our way down the stairs and out the door where we saw several cars full of what seemed to be very angry people pulling up. Before they could get out Phoenix went to the left and ran off towards the bar while I made off for my mech. Looking up I saw Zero and Two charging at each other causing the ground to bow and flex like it was made of rubber with each thunderous step which in turn nearly made me fall over three times while that weird ass China module snuck up form behind its tentacles at the ready….. Come on Rei just hold on, I’ll be there in a little bit. I ran as fast and hard as I could, my lungs were now pumping diesel fuel and my veins were pumping battery acid, acid which I was now quickly bleeding out….. I was now getting cold… my vision blurred and my skin paled….. Oh no you don’t! Just give me little bit more…. come on! But I was fighting a losing battle, I haven’t been eating all that much since I got here which meant I really haven’t built up more blood to replace what I lost when my leg became a pin cushion after the house was bombed which was topped off by the fact I gotten even less sleep then food… I was losing breath, slowing down …. and then before me I saw a white horse who atop it rode a beautiful pale rider so I stopped running….. I guess death was here earlier then I thought, who thought that the pale rider herself would come for me? The rider got off of her steed and rubbed the nose of the horse which then began to transform and morph, the fact of which fail to shock me at this moment, into a…… girl….. wait it wasn’t just a girl, the hair, her face… it was Naomi! I was so happy to she her, my angel! She’s come to take me away! The last thing I heard was her sweet voice shouting out, “Michalik!” as my body went limb and my world turned dark………

[Defectron]

"Naomi, try to run a little faster. At this rate they'll all be dead by the time we get there." I said as I watched several more cars pass us by. The good thing though was that it wasn't quite dusk yet, only the vampires who could operate during the day such as the ones from twilight were going on the offensive. But once night came they would be out in full force, we had to try to get out of here before nightfall.

"Sorry, I'm just not used to this body. I can't run very fast without tripping." Naomi said as we continued down the road. We were getting closer though, the hotel was only a few blocks away. It was then I spotted some commotion in the bushes.

"Get away from me! I don't want your glitter!" Asuka shouted as she stumbled out of the bushes followed by two Edwards. I reached inside Kiris blanket and pulled out Isseis gun, firing one bullet into both vampires.

One of them turned to look at me before saying "You idiot bullets can't ki...arrghhh!!!"

"Your already dead!" I said right before both of them exploded into a shoer of gore and glitter sprinkling the grass with sparkly blood.

"Wh-Who the hell are you? Where did you get that gun?" Asuka shouted looking at me as she recognized Isseis gun.

"I'm Kiri Koomori, the lovable hikkikomori girl, naw just kidding it's actually me Manticore!" I said as I pulled a mask out of a large sack I had strapped to Naomis back.

"You are? But wait why..." Asuka began to say looking confused.

"Just put this on!" I said handing her the mask.

"Wait this looks like that thing Masquerade had me wear earlier." When Asuka had been at her house Masquerade insisted she wear a strange mask, but it hadn't done anything. Asuka just figured she was a weirdo, but since she was Oscars guardian she hadn't complained. She didn't know what good that would do now, but she went ahead and put it on anyway. Unlike the first time though, something did indeed happen. "Arrghhh!!! What's happening to me?" Asuka felt her bones begining to grow, her muscles were getting larger and her internal organs shifted around. What felt strangest of all as that she felt her genitals start to change as something really big grew out of her crotch. When it was all done Asuka looked like a huge seven foot tall pro wrestler.

"W-What did you do to me?" Asuka shouted in shock.

"Don't worry, it'll only last for one hour. If you really want to undo the change just poke your nose. Though I would recommend you keep it on right now, these guys are targetting us, as long as your disguised no one will bother you." I said as we continued to the hotel with the now muscle bound pro wrestler Asuka following behind us.

"It feels strange to walk! And why am I only wearing tight shorts? Everyone can see how big my uhhh...manhood is. Don't you have another disguise?" Asuka whined.

I ignored Asukas pleas as we continued on our way, but then as we made our way over to the hotel I saw something. It was Ryujin, he looked badly wounded, what had happened to him? "Take my mask off!" Naomi said as Ryujin spotted us, he looked pretty out of it. I got off Naomi and rubbed her nose as the mask came off. She changed back to her usual form “Michalik!” she shouted as she ran over to him, his body collapsing in the middle of the road.

"Asuka get over here, we need to get him out of sight!" I said as I helped Naomi hand the bloodied Ryujin tot he muscle bound Asuka.

A bit later

We had hidden inside an alleyway "He's messed up pretty bad, with all the commotion out there I don't think we can give him proper medical treatment." I said looking down at him.

"What are we going to do? We can't fight all these people!" Asuka said as he/she looked out at the armies of vampires that were still arriving. They got us good, if the rest of the group remained seperated it would only be a matter of time before these guys picked us off or captured us. Masquerade said she and Demiurge were the only agents of the opposition present here, we couldn't rely on them completely to get us out of here.

"I have an idea. Masquerade said that her masks transform the wearer physically into an exact carbon copy of whoever first wore the mask. It even changes our clothes to match what that person wore at the time. If that's so then if we put one on Ryujins face, he wouldn't have to worry about his wounds for at least another hour." I said as I reached into the bag of masks. I was halfway tempted to put the Asuka mask on his face, but no this was a serious situation, having a distraction that big wouldn't be good. So I picked up a random mask, of course I had no idea which mask this was, the Asuka mask was the only one I had marked to keep seperate from the others. All the other disguise masks I had picked up were all mixed up. There was no guarantee whatever Ryujin would change into would be less distracting then the Asuka mask, but there was no time to think about that. We had to act now or we'd be screwed. I place the mask on Ryujins face hoping that my theory that he would at leas tbe momentarily healed would prove correct.

[Ryjin]

I found myself floating in the rippling darkness and above me I saw that which owned my heart floating over me. I reached out to her to grasp her delicate glass like hand but I was two far away now…… A wing then came out from mine and her chest both and the intertwined into the shape of a heart and I tried once more to grab her hand but from the darkness came the tendrils which grabbed and wrapped around her and took her from me no matter how much I tried to grab her but she was there now…… I then found myself in my throne which was not mine looking upon the courtyard where I saw…….

I was jolted up as a deep sense of dread overcame me. It took me couple of moments to collect my thoughts as I sat up rubbing my head….. what just happened…. that’s right, I was dieing…. I was attacked by that masked metal man…… but…. but I wasn’t injured anymore….. I heard the sound of some one making a mock attempt to hold back their chuckling…. it was Manticore. My eyes finally focused and I saw leaning over me an angel, Naomi….. what….. what was she doing here?…. Behind her was Manticore who was leaning next to her barely able to contain her laughter and behind Manticore was standing….what the fuck? Who the hell was that huge ass muscle man? But before I could ask any of the thousand questions I had running through my head Naomi threw her arms around me and embraced me while crying out, “Thank God that worked, I thought we were losing you!”, of course the best part about this, out side of not being dead of course, was the fact that my face was now buried deep into her soft, subtle and oh so lovely breast and not even all the fuming, eye twitching and ozone coming from Manticore could ruin this moment, oh yeah, this… this was just about heaven right here….

Naomi looked down at me and then asked, “What happened, who attacked you?

Which was followed up by Manticore with, “Yeah…… because we’re all so very very concerned.” with what I would call a less then genuine tone to her voice.

Before I answer I deiced to look over my body first since I was starting to get more then a little carious how they were able fix me up this well, did Naomi bring some kind of nano-tec…. then I looked down……. “Why is my belly white with a pouch on it?!” I shouted out as I saw “my” stomach, I then looked over to my arm, “Why is my hand a simple white numb?....... Why is my skin blue?!” I then felt over my head, “Why….. why is my head HUGE! Why does my mouth fell like a cats? What the hell happened to me, I am destroyed!”

Manticore started to snicker as her frown became the evilest smile I’ve ever seen. She then informed me, “That’s because you’re now the great and majickal Doraemon, time traveling robo-cat from the future and friend to the children! And no Raziel, you are REBORN!”

“Ok, that’s great, but why am I the great and majickal Dorae….. whatever! Even with how fucked up the world is now theses things just don’t happen!” I asked not just yet noticing my arms flailing up and down in a most comical manner as I was starting to freak out….

Manticore, who seemed to over enjoying herself do to my predicament just a little to much for my likening, answered just barely holding back the laughter, “Well it appears that Masquerade, I don’t think you’ve met her yet, and the fortune teller we ran not earlier are on our side, well as far as I can tell anyways. Well it seems that Masquerades power is that she makes masks that can turn you into the last person who wore them for about an hour and I given how bad you were I figured we had nothing to lose to see how complete the transmutation was an I put one on you in the hopes it’ll patch up your wounds until we can get you some more long lasting care. Ok, now that’s out of the way, what’s going on, what attack you?” “Ok, I’ll by that but why did you have to put me in the worst mask you could possibly find!” I asked not at all happy at the fact that she felt it necessary to turn me short and blue with a big HEAD!

“Well that wasn’t THE worst…..” She answered giving me a shit eating grin. She then glanced over to a bag by her side and told me, “Look I just grabbed a random mask, she gave us a lot and I haven’t been able to go through them all, now what happened to you and a thank you for saving your ass wouldn’t hurt!”

“Ok fine, thank you for saving my ass.” I apologized, I then went on to tell them what happened to me, “Now after you left us Johnson and myself split up and after a while I decide to head over to the bar to find your top.” After hearing that Naomi shot the both of us a confused look so I turned to her and said “Long story Naomi, we’ll tell you later.”, before getting back to my story, “Anyways, along the way I found Johnson laying face down in the ally completely out of it, and I ran him over to his room where I found Rei looking for him after he came to he told us he ran into some wacko with puppy-fingers…”

“Yeah we ran into that freak too.” Manticore replied.

“Yeah, just like the Teller said we would, well he ran into him and apparently this doll like girl was with the puppy freak and stuck Johnson with some sort of toxin and after he was done explaining all that some new freak who was made of metal, had a fucking A.T. Field and wearing a hoddie and a paintball mask busted in the door and an came at us and since Johnson was still to out of it to fight so I took it on myself to by him and Rei time to get out of there and since I had a bad feeling about what was going on I told them to make their way over to Zero”

“You don’t think do you?” Naomi asked Manticore

“The reaper, yeah.” Manticore answered, she looked back over at me then asked, “How…. how did you get away?”

“I just stood my ground and fought like I had nothing left to lose, which since it was trying to kill me that was a pretty fucking true ideal. Anyway I was able to bust up one of its arm and knock it out a window and here I am now.” I told them which cased Naomi to developed a very worried look, she shock her head then yelled out at me “Oh God, I can’t believe you did something that stupid! What made you think you could fight it?! Look at what it almost did to you!”

I was taken somewhat aback by her concern, I mean it felt good the she still cared so much but it was just….. I put my hand on her should and told her, “I know, but if I didn’t do this Johnson and Rei would have been in my place right now so I had to do it, these guys are all my responsibility.”

She let out a sigh then replied with, “It’s just like when I met you…..You can’t keep on doing things like this, you can’t put all this on your…..”

“Umhum!” Manticore interrupted us with, she gave us both a rather harsh look then told us, “I hate to interrupt this Kodak moment but he’s only got an hour left and we are under attack so can we kindly get a move on it please?”

“Oh… ummm sorry.” we both pleaded at about the same time. Ok, it was time to get it moving, “Yeah you’re right Manticore. Phoenix, she already knows what’s up and is getting Shiro and Rana over to the Trident and I was heading over…. well trying to get over to Jet Alone…… Ok here’s the plan, Manticore! I need you to fly me over to Jet after which help make sure that Rana, Phoenix and Shiro make it over to the Trident safely then help round up the rest of the group and get them who ever you can into the Johnsonmobile and the rest into the Trident, try and get Kenske and Lil’ Z to help you out. Now we don’t need to worry about the flyer since it’s still strapped on the Trident.” I then looked over to Naomi and the big guy and said “Now for you two…..” But then it downed on me.“Just who are ARE you?” I asked the masked muscle man.

“Oh him, don’t worry about em, that’s just El Super Muñeco! He’s down.” Manticore chimed with answering for him.

The super toy?! “Oh-kay… Well I need you Mr. El Super Muñeco and you Naomi to wait here until Manticore comes back. Alright let’s get going!” I finished up with as Manticore busted out with laughter which earned a rather harsh glare form myself.

Seeing that I was none to please she tried to force back her laughter as best she could and then offered up and apology…. of sorts, “I’m sorry, it’s…. it’s just….. seeing you try and act all professional and hardcore while looking like that… it’s just to cute!”

‘’Righhhhhhht…. Ok, let’s go.” was my reply.

Manticore grabbed me then unfolded her wings and took off trailing blue sparks behind her as we headed over to the Jet Alone. Along the way from behind us we saw the flashes of gun fire exchanging between the hotel and a group of twinkling vampires hiding behind the cars parked out in front of it. over to the left Zero was wrestling with Two, Rei was trying to grapple twos waist in either an attempt to knocked it down into an submission or get it into a bear hug while two was attempting to put her in a head lock, the weird unit who had up to this point had been seemed to be just standing there waiting lunched all six of it’s tentacles out like sidewinding missiles into Reis back sending out a flash followed by a shower of sharks as she reared back in pain! Two wasted no time in taking advantage of this window and put Rei into a sleeper lock!

“Shit!” Manticore yelled out, “How long until you can get Jet Alone up and running?”

“Not counting the time it takes to get to the cockpit and get the helmet on, assuming it still fits…. it’ll take 30 seconds for the reactor to get hot” I answered.

“Crap! Why can’t we just leave it in stand then?!” She yelled out.

“Because the reactors a closed system, we can’t refuel it or replace it’s neutron shielding so once it’s out of gas it dead. That’s why we grabbed as many spare reactors as we could, we need to hope this last us as long as it cans” I explained as best I could.

Manticore thought about something for a moment then said, “Alright, after you get in your mech I’m going to see if I can help out Rei until you can get it up and running then I’ll help get our guys over to the Trident.”

We then got to the main hatch and I reached out to input the unlock code when Manticore looked at my “hand” and asked, “Ummm you know since your “hand” right now is just a roundy sphere do you think you can do this?”

“I got a theory.” I told her as I touched my numb to the control panel and sure enough it beep! And as I imputed the rest of the code I let in on my reasoning, “You see every cartoon character I ever seen with nuby hands like this never have any trouble interacting with the world and given that this transformation was complete enough to fix my wounds I figured I had a good chance of having majick fingers. Though why couldn’t I have at lest been Strong Bad for this gag?”

After the last numeric was entered the hatched popped open and Manticore dropped me off then kicked off the side of the hull to help turn her self around and she dashed over to help out Rei while I made a dash myself over to the cockpit, well as much as a dash that I could given my misshapen form I had to deal with for another 40 minutes! After entering the cockpit I hopped into the chair and moved around the joysticks just to double check that I could still use them, I then dumped the emergency compositors into the shields to cover my ass for the 30 seconds need to get my mech up and running during which I grabbed the HMDS and looked at it, how the fuck was I going to get this onto my head? My head was huge and it was so….. not large…. I missed my head! I had little choice though, I was to short to see the main screen clearly so I put it on top my head, gave a little prayer and pressed down with my nubs and much to my surprise it slide down over my head with a “POP!” I didn’t know if my head somehow shrank or the helmet got bigger…. what ever, it didn’t matter right now. A loud “PEEP!” announced the reactors activation as I put it into first gear and moved out firing off 3 shot from the shot-coilcannon while radioing Rei, “Hold on, I’m coming to help you! Rei, just hold out a little longer!”

The 3 shots slammed into the back of the Chinese model Eva and while they were stopped by its A.T. Field they did their job by getting its attention. As it snarled back at me I dropped my gun and grabbed my thunder hammer and steep into 2nd gear, theses dickwads picked the wrong day to fuck with the great and majickal Doraemon!