Let's make the worst Evangelion adaptation that ever existed!

The place for all of the old Live Action Evangelion Movie threads.
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Postby Reichu » Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:09 pm

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Postby Guyver Spawn » Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:53 pm

^Lol that stuff posted in that site give me a good laugh.
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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:08 pm

You know, Touji becoming the token black guy makes perfect sense. Should be named Trevor or T-Rod though. Preferably played by some young rapper too.

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Postby Sammaeloo » Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:24 pm

Got some I didn't add to mine.

Tom Cruise as Kaworu

Mel Gibson as Aoba

Andy Dick as Hyuga

Ellen Degeneres as Maya
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Postby snowballreborn » Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:08 pm

snowballreborn wrote:a kevin smith *directed* evangelion film would actually be great

No.[/quote]

As long as it isn't like Jersey girl.
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Postby BattleMonkey » Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:20 pm

Isn't the Eva detectives manga already this?

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Postby Tlaloc » Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:08 pm

I once read a post somewhere else of what if WWE Films made the Eva movies.

They mentioned things like John Cena as Shinji; The Undertaker as Rei, Shawn Michaels as Keel Lorenz, Vince McMahon as Gendo, The Spirit Squad as The Mass Produced Evas and things like that.

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Postby Sammaeloo » Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:11 pm

^ This comes to mind
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEDCVi2oEoo[/url]
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Postby eva0313777 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:05 pm

for me it'd be

ben stiller or as Shinji
miley cyrus as Asuka
the olsen twins as every Rei
jon heder as kensuke
zac efron as toji
megan fox as Misato
robin williams(in his mrs.doubtfire costume) as ritsuko
george w bush as gendo
wiliam shatner as fuyutsuki
morgan freeman as penpen
Donald Joseph “DJ” Qualls(the guy from the new guy whose white and skinny as hell,he's perfect for the role) as kaworu

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Postby Guyver Spawn » Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:21 pm

If Kevin Smith directed a Eva movie then he would add Jay and Silent Bob in the movie. Oh god that would both be funny and awful to watch.
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Postby Chrad » Mon Jul 20, 2009 6:05 am

eva0313777 wrote:for me it'd be

ben stiller or as Shinji
miley cyrus as Asuka
the olsen twins as every Rei
jon heder as kensuke
zac efron as toji
megan fox as Misato
robin williams(in his mrs.doubtfire costume) as ritsuko
george w bush as gendo
wiliam shatner as fuyutsuki
morgan freeman as penpen
Donald Joseph “DJ” Qualls(the guy from the new guy whose white and skinny as hell,he's perfect for the role) as kaworu


Shinji is almost twice as old as Misato, who is the same age as Rei and a year older than Toji.

I say, 'why not'.

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Postby chee » Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:02 am

George Takei as Kaworu

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Postby BrikHaus » Mon Jul 20, 2009 7:26 pm

chee wrote:George Takei as Kaworu

Chee as George Takei as Kaworu as Little Red Riding Hood as Garey Busey on crack as Chee.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:39 am

^
YES! :lol:

Or, the ancient "LAEM Worst Case Scenario" page.
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Postby NemZ » Tue Jul 21, 2009 7:29 am

Guyver Spawn wrote:If Kevin Smith directed a Eva movie then he would add Jay and Silent Bob in the movie.


But they'd be replacing Toji and Kensuke. Would it really be all that bad? Well, yes... but it would still be worth watching. I want to see Shinji complaining that he isn't even supposed to be in Tokyo-3 today.
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Postby scarmullet » Tue Jul 21, 2009 11:34 am

NemZ wrote:
Guyver Spawn wrote:If Kevin Smith directed a Eva movie then he would add Jay and Silent Bob in the movie.


But they'd be replacing Toji and Kensuke. Would it really be all that bad? Well, yes... but it would still be worth watching. I want to see Shinji complaining that he isn't even supposed to be in Tokyo-3 today.


Any one dare me to make a vid with this audio?

Here it is[/url]
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Postby snowballreborn » Wed Jul 22, 2009 7:33 pm

Not saying this would be bad or absolutely good, but if kevin smith did the casting and used his normal cast he might use

Gendo - Bruce Willis
Misato - Elizabeth Banks
Aoba - Jason Mewes
Kaji - Matt Damon or Brandon Routh
Hyuga - Jeff Anderson
Alan Rickman - Keel Lorenz
Joey Lauren Adams - Ritsuko
Young Rei or Young Asuka- Harley Quinn Smith
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Postby Evangelion217 » Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:12 pm

Robert Pattinson as Shinji


Dude, he would actually do a decent job. Get Orlando Bloom, if you really want a bad actor. ;)
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Postby Joseph the PRPD » Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:59 pm

The worst Evangelion adaption would just be a live action adaption in general.

It would be funnier if it would be directed by Al Khan and the names were westernized. Shinji Ikari = Sheen Hammels, Rei Ayanami = Stacy Cartwell, Gendo Ikari = Gregory Hammels, Asuka Langely Shoryu = Amy Sandra Magdel

Anyone saw what I did there?
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Postby MugwumpHasNoLiver » Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:56 am

I posted this in some chit-chat forum about a month ago. I think it can work here.

The Rei Horror Picture Show

Naive young Shinji Ikari proposes to his equally naive and PMSing girlfriend Asuka Langley Sohryu after the wedding of their two friends, Toji Suzahara and Hikari Horaki. After a lavish dance number in a nearby church (Asuka, make me some pasta, and I'll love you!), the newly engaged decide to visit their old science teacher, Kozu Fuyutski.

However, their car breaks down in a thunderstorm and they're forced to take refuge in a nearby giant underground pyramid (There's a light, over in the Geo-Front). Inside they meet a motley crew composed of the incestuous mother/daughter maids Noako and Ritsuko Akagi, three dancing bridge bunnies and a shrill-voiced tap dancing hedonist named Misato Katsurgai. (Let's do second impact again!) And las,t but not least, Shinji's estranged, cross-dressing father, Gendo Ikari (I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Tokyo-3).

After being stripped and forced into an elevator, Gendo reveals his latest creation, Rei Horror, a blonde clone of his deceased wife wearing nothing but a golden bikini (Gendo's hand is hangin' over with dread, and I got a feelin' he's gonna be getting some head). He then demonstrates his evil plan to make Rei do aerobic workouts for some reason (In just seven days, I can make you a a wo-man!).

But things go bad when Gendo's old fling, Ryoji Kaji erupts from a nearby freezer and starts getting it on with Misato (Hat-patootie, bless my soul, I need something better than Rit-su-ko!). Gendo quickly dispatches Kaji with an axe, noticably upsetting Misato and goes to bed with Rei. Later, Gendo seduces both Shinji and Asuka as the incestuous Naoko Akagi chases off Rei with candles.

Meanwhile Asuka is out of her mind with guilt and runs up back to Gendo's lab, only to see Gendo getting it on with Shinji over a monitor. She finds the injured Rei hiding in the lab and decides to sleep with her just because. Meanwhile Misato and Ristsuko are watching over another monitor and get really touchy-feely. (Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me! I wanna get back at baka Shin-ji!)

Later Gendo runs back up into his lab, whipping Naoko for her negligence. Meanwhile, Naoko discovers that wheel-chair bound Professor Fuyutski has invaded the zen room. Gendo, enraged, reveals that Fuyutski is working for the FBI and thinks he sent Shinji to stake him out. After finding out that everyone slept with everyone, they all have dinner where Fuyutski reveals that Kaji was his nephew (When Kaji said he didn't like his wedgie, I didn't buy him any new pants).

Gendo, enraged again, pulls off the tablecloth to reveals Kaji's mutilated corpse underneath and the fact that everyone was eating him. Asuka runs into Rei's arms which drives Gendo into another frenzy and makes him chase Asuka up some stairs (You'd better wise up, Asuka Langely, I know your naughty bits are quite dangley).

Eventually they wind up back at the lab and Gendo reveals his Instrumentality Transducer and tangs Shinji, Asuka, Fuyutski, Rei and Misato. They are un-tanged in Terminal Dogma and forced to act out a floor-show, all of them wearing corsets, furry boas and fish-nets. (Rose tangs my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain). Suddenly the curtain opens and Gendo is standing before a giant red cross where Lilith is crucified (Whatever happened to Adam and Lilith? Those massive, marshmallow frames! One look at that massive thigh, how I started to cry, because I wanted to be dressed just the same!)

The floor-show becomes a massive orgy in the LCL pool. Fuyutski contemplates trying to escape the decadence around him, but then caves anyway (I'm an a wild and an untamed thing, an Eva with berserker bling!). However, the part is crashed by the incestuous Akagi maids who declare Gendo their prisoner. Gendo attempts to justify his actions in song (I've seen red skies through the tang in my eyes), but it's no use. The Akagi's murder Gendo, Rei and Misato with blue octohedron lasers and start Third Impact.

Shinji, Asuka and Fuyutski barely get away, but their lives will never be the same again. Narrated by criminologist Keel Lorenz
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