Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Fyrstorm
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Mon Sep 19, 2016 12:54 am

So, I've got some good progress on 025, but it's still taking a long time. In the meanwhile, feel free to ask me whatever questions you have, regarding the story! Please, ask away!
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Mon Sep 19, 2016 4:48 am

Preview of Chapter 025, again!

Chapter 025.3  SPOILER: Show
- Earlier that morning. Katsuragi residence.
.
Shinji sat down at the table. Across from him was Rei, waiting quietly and attentively. A soft, cool breeze drifted in through the window, brushing against their hair.
“So,” he sighed. “You're grateful to me for trusting you, right?”
“That is correct.”
“Even though you’re… ‘connected’ to my father.”
“That is also correct.”
The boy’s brow furrowed.
“... what’s with that, anyways? ‘Connected’?”
Almost as expected, Rei didn’t squirm, fidget, or otherwise avoid the question.
“The Commander is my legal guardian… among other things.”
Shinji frowned.
“Him?” he asked. “But don’t you have a…”
‘I am Rei Ayanami. I am Lilith.’
As a memory flickered to life in his head, the boy’s words died off.
“...Oh.”
“Yes,” Rei replied, inferring his realisation. “He is the closest person I have to family. And yet, despite your own misgivings with him, you still associate-”
“I- Rei, that has nothing to do with it!” Shinji interrupted with a half-whisper. The girl stopped talking, and waited.
“...Ayanami, I only recently learned about this thing with you and my father a few weeks ago. I'll… I'll admit, I'm still a little concerned about a couple things-- but, well, it doesn't seem like he’s been a bad influence, really,” the boy said. “I mean… you’re completely different from him. I guess… I guess that it'd be just kind of stupid for me to start treating you differently because of something like that.”
Rei nodded gratefully, neither of the two bringing up the obvious ‘something’ that was a far bigger deal than the topic at hand.
.
The boy coughed, and smacked his lips.
“Say, Ayanami… would you mind helping me with the meals today?” he asked.
“...I would very much enjoy that,” Rei replied.

Stilted and awkward conversations, huzzah!
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:13 am

More previews. Woo. Would very much like some critique on these, please.

Chapter 025.4  SPOILER: Show
Something down the hall behind Asuka grunted. Drawn away from the other two Children, the pair of foreigners turned around-- just as Misato came into view.
Asuka grimaced.
“...You again.”
Misato sighed, and looked over.
“Yep, me again. That’s what happens when you’re living in my apartment, Asuka,” she replied flatly. Asuka huffed, and twisted away, a glower darkening her face. Mari promptly swung an arm around the girl, twisting her back.
“Oh, Princess,” the girl sighed. “It’s a brand new day; don’t ruin it by fouling things up here.”
“But she-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Misato interrupted. “‘Misato’s an awful tactician, what the hell is she thinking?’ And all that jazz.” Asuka sniffed, unamused by the older woman’s high-pitched imitation of her. Misato folded her arms.
“Look… can we just have breakfast first? After that, you can chastise me and criticise my abilities all you like.”
.
“...Fine,” the Second Child sighed, muttering the rest under her breath. “I haven’t really had breakfast either.”
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

silvermoonlight
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby silvermoonlight » Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:52 pm

View Original PostFyrstorm wrote:Oh no! I forgot to post my preview for Chapter 025! But wait, what's that coming over the horizon?...

It's Bardiel.

Chapter 025.1  SPOILER: Show
Mari was practically in heaven. The sleeping girl had no idea what she was up against, but it was comfy, warm, and soft as all hell, so she didn't really care. Mari snuggled up to it enthusiastically, practically burying herself in the warmth. The girl sighed, a sound of complete contentment.

“Mmmmmmm…”

Then, something poked her in the head.

“Mari.”

“Mmm,” the Brit huffed, wriggling in. No use; the mysterious thing just poked her again.

“Mari, get off me.”

The brunette groaned, wiggled some more… and slowly opened her eyes. Mari glanced up, and saw Misato staring back down at her, a look of mild exasperation across her face.

Aww… but Miso, you're so comfy,” Mari whined, not budging a centimetre from atop the older woman.

“Mari,” Misato replied, one eyebrow moving millimetres up. “You have until the count of three.”

“One…”

The brunette groaned.

Fine,” she sighed, reluctantly pushing herself off of the captain, and rolling to the side-- an act that, much to the latter's chagrin, ended up yanking the covers off the bed.

Misato gave an exaggerated sigh-- clearly, other than being squashed under the Fifth Child, the whole thing hadn't been that awful.

Meanwhile, Mari stood up, letting the blankets fall to the floor. The girl spread her stance, stretching the sleep out of her limbs with another yawn.

“Well, how about we head down to the kitchen or something?” she asked. “If I’m not allowed a few more minutes of cuddles, I should at least get a proper breakfast.”


Eh, it's just some cuddles. Chapter 025 is mostly going to be half fluff, half actual proper plan making/executing, and one negative sixteenth possibly more eva pilots.


Just wanted to say that Mari using a certain person as a pillow really made me laugh :asuka_happy:
Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy.

My Eva fanfiction ff.net Fading In To The Stolen Light For download version please go to AO3

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Wed Sep 21, 2016 11:10 pm

Chapter 025 preview, part 5!

Chapter 025.5  SPOILER: Show
- Half an hour later. Katsuragi residence.
.
They sat in the living room, on opposite sides of the table.
“Alright,” Misato said. “So, you're dissatisfied with my plan, Asuka.”
“Dissatisfied’s putting it mildly,” the girl sighed. Misato rubbed her forehead, and took a breath.
“Ignoring that... I want to hear from you just what you think the plan needs to work.”
Asuka looked up, utterly perplexed by what she’d just heard.
“...Wait, you’re letting me change your plan?”
“I’m letting you give advice on how I should change it,” Misato replied.
“...Huh.”
Asuka took a breath, mentally preparing herself.
“Alright then. The first thing that any plan should do is aim to narrow the gap between our numbers. America has their two Evas, and there’s that Jet Alone thing lying around here, right?”
Misato nodded.
“That’s true; Units three-dash and four-dash are both finished, and have their pilots. The only problem is that getting them over here in time is going to be a legal nightmare... Still, a good start. What else?”
Well… okay, that training thing was actually a pretty good idea. But-”
“You want to be in charge of it. I know, Asuka,” Misato interrupted. “And… well, I guess it won’t hurt that much. Even if I don’t get the rest of this changed, I’m sure I can manage that.”
The girl stared, silent for a few seconds.
“You’re not just saying that to shut me up, are you?”
“Nah,” Misato replied, pausing to take a sip of beer. “I’m not that bad of a person as to lie to your face for a few seconds of quiet.”
“...Anything else?”
.
“I…” Asuka sighed. “No, I suppose not.”
“Then are we good?” the older woman asked.
The Second Child glanced around, looking at the faces of the other people. Mari, giving Asuka her best set of puppy dog eyes; Shinji, looking somewhat concerned about this; Rei, watching her with curiosity.
~...Come on, Asuka,~ the girl thought to herself. ~There's no reason to keep holding a grudge like this. Misato's willing to let things go; you should as well.~
“... Yeah,” Asuka said, turning back to Misato. “I guess we're good.”


Still kinda eh-ish on this.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Sun Sep 25, 2016 2:21 am

Attention all! I have finished Chapter 025! Read it here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11624461/25/NGE-Not-the-End

Please enjoy and review!
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

DarkBluePhoenix
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby DarkBluePhoenix » Sat Oct 01, 2016 3:39 pm

I have to say, I reviewed the last three chapters on (24, 25, and 26) over on ff.net, but I want to say here the story is wonderful and I can't wait to see what you do next for these characters, seeing as you're only up to the seventh angel.

I would recommend anyone looking for a unique spin on NGE, to read this one, as nothing is what you expect it to be.

That scene in Chapter 25 I assume started out like this, before an elbow met someone's stomach
SPOILER: Show
Image

You also do a wonderful job with characterization (especially with Mari), and that deserves a shout out as well.

I honestly have nothing bad to say at all about the story
Avatar - Heero Yuy, pilot of Wing Gundam Zero. If you want to read my NGE fanfic go to my profile here - DarkBluePhoenix on FanFiction.net or DarkBluePhoenix on AO3

Voted in college to be Most likely to Take Over the World, how to do that however, will require at least Four Evangelions. Thanks for the idea Misato-san!
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." Said at the beginning of the nuclear age by J. Robert Oppenheimer.
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Words of Wisdom from German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Sat Oct 01, 2016 6:32 pm

View Original PostDarkBluePhoenix wrote:I have to say, I reviewed the last three chapters on (24, 25, and 26) over on ff.net, but I want to say here the story is wonderful and I can't wait to see what you do next for these characters, seeing as you're only up to the seventh angel.

I would recommend anyone looking for a unique spin on NGE, to read this one, as nothing is what you expect it to be.

That scene in Chapter 25 I assume started out like this, before an elbow met someone's stomach
SPOILER: Show
Image

You also do a wonderful job with characterization (especially with Mari), and that deserves a shout out as well.

I honestly have nothing bad to say at all about the story

I was almost about to correct you with 'no, it's the Ninth Angel, not Seventh'-- but then I noticed the lack of capitalization, as well as the fact that technically they didn't fight Adam or Lilith.

As for the 025 scene? Yeah, that's pretty much it. Touchy-feely Mari.

In regards to the praise, I can't really do much else but thank you for it.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

Fyrstorm
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Mon Oct 03, 2016 4:07 am

I'm preparing a little something for when Halloween shows up. Get ready, because one Angel isn't quite dead just yet...

Not to mention the Mark.05.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

Fyrstorm
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Tue Oct 04, 2016 7:12 pm

Chapter 027 preview  SPOILER: Show
~Here I am again,~ the girl thought, lying flat on her back, and attempting to tune out the aching. She may not have suffered a concussion like the other female pilots stationed here had, but the damage caused to Unit-00’ had resulted in quite a bit of non-lethal harm to her. ~This would mark the… third time I have been hospitalised this year.~ Rei’s brow furrowed, the girl rewinding. ~No, wait. Fourth. This is the fourth time. I forgot to take Iruel into consideration.~
Admittedly, the third hadn’t taken place in the standard Nerv facilities, but rather the special facilities for her. Exerting herself had proven… detrimental to her physical cohesion, something that the normal hospital wasn’t equipped to deal with, given her unique composition. These injuries, however, were well within their grasp to repair.
Dealing with the bruising on her limbs and exterior was easy enough, as Rei generally didn’t move strenuously enough to exacerbate the pain. As for internal bruising? The trauma plates in her plugsuit had managed to take most of the force out the crashes, leaving her with nothing more than a light tingle of nausea and an awareness of how much organs weighed-- both of which were sufficient to keep her in the bed for now.
As for Rei’s internal monologue? A simple and effective way of keeping herself distracted-- and something she already did a considerable amount. Nothing more, nothing less.
Other than that, all there was for her to do… was simply wait.

It's Rei. Hooray.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:33 pm

Chapter 027's done. And very short. Woo.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Mon Oct 10, 2016 2:16 am

Chapter 028 preview!

Chapter 028.1  SPOILER: Show
The plan was a simple one; gather everyone up, and head out to the shopping complexes to get some new stuff. Shinji and Misato had already gone out to it, while Kaji had decided to help out the other two in getting ahold of Rei.
The man's car slowed to a halt, just outside the complex Rei had insisted she be dropped off at. The doors unlocked with a click, and Mari and Asuka stepped out.
“Not much to look at, mm?” The former commented, lazily raising an eyebrow at the building.
It wasn't; the complex was a mostly empty, almost deserted looking box of a place, standing about three stories tall. The entire thing was an unappetising grey, one corner lined with fractures and cracks. Not to mention, it was quiet. Very quiet.
Asuka frowned. Weren't Rei and the Commander close or something? If that was the case, why the hell was he having her live in a place like this?
“Girls, I can appreciate that you're taking an interest in local architecture,” Kaji said from the driver's seat, his voice casual but matter-of-fact in intonation. “But I'm sure Miss Ayanami will appreciate it more if you can go get her.”
The two blinked, their attention drawn to him for a second. Kaji shrugged.
“Just saying,” he added, light-heartedly. That got a giggle from the Fifth. Asuka rubbed the back of her head, mildly embarrassed that he’d pointed it out. While they were friends, things with Kaji were still a little... complicated, and not always in a good way.
“R-right,” she said, turning back towards the building. “Come on, Four-Eyes.”


Thoughts? Feelings? Vague prophecies of impending doom? What do you guys have?
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

silvermoonlight
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby silvermoonlight » Mon Oct 10, 2016 3:29 am

View Original PostFyrstorm wrote:Chapter 028 preview!

Chapter 028.1  SPOILER: Show
The plan was a simple one; gather everyone up, and head out to the shopping complexes to get some new stuff. Shinji and Misato had already gone out to it, while Kaji had decided to help out the other two in getting ahold of Rei.
The man's car slowed to a halt, just outside the complex Rei had insisted she be dropped off at. The doors unlocked with a click, and Mari and Asuka stepped out.
“Not much to look at, mm?” The former commented, lazily raising an eyebrow at the building.
It wasn't; the complex was a mostly empty, almost deserted looking box of a place, standing about three stories tall. The entire thing was an unappetising grey, one corner lined with fractures and cracks. Not to mention, it was quiet. Very quiet.
Asuka frowned. Weren't Rei and the Commander close or something? If that was the case, why the hell was he having her live in a place like this?
“Girls, I can appreciate that you're taking an interest in local architecture,” Kaji said from the driver's seat, his voice casual but matter-of-fact in intonation. “But I'm sure Miss Ayanami will appreciate it more if you can go get her.”
The two blinked, their attention drawn to him for a second. Kaji shrugged.
“Just saying,” he added, light-heartedly. That got a giggle from the Fifth. Asuka rubbed the back of her head, mildly embarrassed that he’d pointed it out. While they were friends, things with Kaji were still a little... complicated, and not always in a good way.
“R-right,” she said, turning back towards the building. “Come on, Four-Eyes.”


Thoughts? Feelings? Vague prophecies of impending doom? What do you guys have?


I'm tempted to ask are one of these two going to fall on her when she's naked like in the series and get slapped later for it?
Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy.

My Eva fanfiction ff.net Fading In To The Stolen Light For download version please go to AO3

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Mon Oct 10, 2016 4:37 am

View Original Postsilvermoonlight wrote:I'm tempted to ask are one of these two going to fall on her when she's naked like in the series and get slapped later for it?

Well... Shinji was technically slapped for bad-mouthing his father. That's already happened here (the bad-mouthing), but Rei got proper context, and emotions were generally running high-- so he didn't get slapped. As for Asuka and Mari? Well, it's decently unlikely that it'd happen for the exact same reasons as in the series... but there's still a chance it can happen.

SPOILER: Show
Fortunately, Asuka is mature enough that she wouldn't blame them (if it was an accident), and Mari would just gape for a bit (and commit the scene to memory for later) before helping them up.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Tue Oct 11, 2016 2:41 am

The next segment won't be up for a while, as I'm really working on it. It's a pretty long segment. And it's got Rei in it.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Fri Oct 21, 2016 6:42 pm

So, as it turns out, falling onto Rei does not help your rapidly rising stress levels. Asuka is not having a good time.

Now, where'd I put that Tenth Angel? I know I had it lying around here somewhere...
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby silvermoonlight » Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:17 am

View Original PostFyrstorm wrote:So, as it turns out, falling onto Rei does not help your rapidly rising stress levels. Asuka is not having a good time.

Now, where'd I put that Tenth Angel? I know I had it lying around here somewhere...


Well it could be worse I guess Rei could be running with bread in her mouth and she could end up smashing heads with her. ^_^
SPOILER: Show
Image


Looking forward to your next update.
Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live. After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy.

My Eva fanfiction ff.net Fading In To The Stolen Light For download version please go to AO3

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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Tue Oct 25, 2016 2:07 am

Chapter 028 is now officially out! Have a bit from the ending as a fun extra.

The Princess Bride is a great piece of literature and OBVIOUSLY Mari's read it  SPOILER: Show
“I'll order something for us,” the Brit muttered back, giving her another squeeze. “Gonna get 'm to deliver.”
Asuka glanced towards Mari, though the positioning of them both made it difficult.
“...You're not leaving?”
“You think I would?” Came the gently teasing reply. Asuka sighed.
“Just… shut up and hold me, dummkopf.”
Mari sighed back.
“...As you wish.”
-
-
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

Fyrstorm
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Fyrstorm » Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:17 am

Preview for Chapter 029!

Ch.029.1  SPOILER: Show
Ring! Ring!
“Mmmm…”
Ring! Ring!
“Mmm,” Mari grunted, sinking further into the couch-bed. Damn phone… couldn’t she at least get another hour of sleep or so?
Something wriggled in her arms.
“Four-Eyes, get the verdammt phone…” Asuka whined. Mari lifted one of her arms from the girl’s side, and scratched her fingers through the redhead’s hair.
Ring! Ring!
“...‘n a little bit,” Mari mumbled, eyes opening a crack. “Jus’ let it go to voicemail…”
Ring! Ring!
Ring! R- click.

There it was. Mari sighed in relief at the cutoff. Now she'd only have to deal with the message.
“Mari, it's Misato,” the answer machine relayed. “I need you and Asuka to get down to headquarters as soon as possible. We've got an Angel.”
The machine clicked again, its message finished. For a moment, there was silence.
.
“... Oh, I am going to frickin’ murder that Angel,” Mari stated.
My ongoing fanfics: NGE: (Not) the End, Evangelion: Regenesis

Winking Mari makes my heart go doki doki
We're all Asuka-fanboys? I take great exception to that. It's Mari I want to plow nine ways from Sunday, if you don't mind.

What? She's 28 now.

Strypgia
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Re: Neon Genesis Evangelion: (Not) the End

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Postby Strypgia » Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:15 am

And now I've found this here! Hi, Fyrstorm!
Getting blown up is less fun than it sounds like. So I wrote Evangelion WAFF: Advice and Trust And now more: A Crown Of Stars
"Speaking of game material, thanks for indirectly reminding me to check the progress on that moe genderbent Hitler dating sim." --Arkalest
"Dabuhbahgahnehvuh!" --Aleph, 18MAY14 "I am a very charming soup" -- LordSquishy, 23FEB15
"If my grandma is stalking me through a forest I'll stop doing peyote." -- Shinanobi, 31AUG14


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