Design the "Lilin" Forms of the First 16 Angels

[Rei IV]

I have absolutely no words to describe what I just read. But to perfectly honest, the way it's written, I kinda took it seriously until I read this part:

KZ: Is there any chance of you all being safely reunited one day?

AK♀: Yes, but I would have to kill a lot of Lilin first, and that idea makes Akira very upset. So I'll at least hold off for another thirty years or however long you Lilin last.

Oh Reichu, what goes on in that head of yours when you invent amusing shit like this. I still gotta give you props for your creativity.

[Reichu]

UrsusArctos: Good point. Arael should have a thing for Handel!

Rei IV: I'm surprised it took that long for the illusion of seriousness to shatter! Also... "creativity"? Is that what they're calling it these days? Finally, if you thought that was strange, you must not have read this.

NemZ: D-David Bowie?!? Why do you do this to me??

[Rei IV]

Reichu, where do you come up with this shit? My God, there's something so deliciously perverse, demented (as NemZ mentioned) about it, and yet, at the same time, a great source for comic relief. A lot of what's written has me going WTF and LOLz at the same time. Is the Reverend J.R. Peterson supposed to be a play on Robert Patterson? Also, I'm wondering about this line:

"They say he's sensitive, like it's a good thing, but the truth of the matter is that he's just a pussy," Katsuragi's teenage daughter, who was forced to watch the spectacle no one wants to talk about, says. "And he's a pervert, too. So is it true that I'm going to have a half-alien sibling soon? I hate my dad so much. I always wanted a little sister, though. I hope it's a girl."

Misato, is that you?

[Giji Shinka]

You need to write a book, Reichu!

If you don't, I'll force you.

[NemZ]

NemZ: D-David Bowie?!? Why do you do this to me??

Hey, you said graceful, androgenous and pale... who better than the Thin White Duke?

Would you prefer Tilda Swinton? 6 of one, half dozen of the other...

[Blockio]

Thought I'd give this a shot, too. took a bit of a spin on the original premise, now it's a fantasy setting.
Adam: The gray matter behind the actions of most of the others. Chooses the appearance of an old, bearded man in a white robe for the few public appearances they had. Openly at war with the cult of Lilith; other than that, not much is known
Lilith: The self-proclaimed messiah of a cult of fanatics, calling themselves Lilin. Her intentions are entirely unclear, but her followers would walk into fire without hesitation if she was to order it
Sachiel: A strongly built man with scars all over his body. Close friends with and second in command to Zeruel; wears black leather armor and carries a poleaxe
Shamshel: An assassin specializing in the useage of whips and poison. When she is not out to kill someone, she wears a crimson dress and a gem necklace
Ramiel: A horseback knight clad in heavy plate armor wielding a lance. Despite serving Adam's forces, he holds up strong ideals of honor and knighthood He is said to never have been defeated in combat.
Gaghiel: Adam's main Admiral. Rumored to be able to control creatures of the sea, he has a fearsome reputation, and his lanky, not quite human seeming appearance only enhances this
Israfel: Adam's personal guards. Identical in appearance, they wear heavy plate armor, dark gray cloaks and carry halberds. Few people have ever heard them speak, even fewer lived to tell the tale; those that did claim they sounded exactly the same, and completed each other's sentences seamlessly
Sandalphon: One of Matarael's "experiments". A deformed, massive chimera that doesn't look like it is intelligent, but is surprisingly articulate
Matarael: A sorcerer in the ranks of Adam. Stocky, overall goblin-like appearance, dresses in dark green cloaks with eye-shaped symbols on them. Responsible for the creation of Leliel.
Sahaquiel: A duchess representing Adam politically. Dresses very exquisitly, quite hot-blooded and has a shrill voice, causing many to underestimate her. She us a strategic mastermind and has limited magic skills, but is hopeless in direct combat
Ireul: Adam's top spy. Can emulate just about any voice and is one of the sharpest minds around; physically nondescript, few ever as much as remember seeing him
Leliel: A regular soldier who has been turned into an unstable superweapon through the use of occult magic
Bardiel: A former knight whohas betrayed his order and is now hunted by his younger brother Unit 04 in an effort to restore the honor of his family
Zeruel: A giant of a man, and leader of an army renowned for being ruthless. Weapons of choice are a hammer and a large shield
Arael: A tall woman dressed in light blue. She is often accompanying Adam, but noone knows what is her true purpose or ability
Armisael: Adam's torturer and executioner. Noone has ever survived their "treatment"
Tabris: Although officially part of Adam's following, many have questioned his loyality, as he does not seem to follow any orders, or fight with a particular goal. A slender, tall man carrying a rapier, always dressed a tad more nobly than appropriate
Lilin: Lilith's devout followers. They are known to do anything she orders them to do, without any hesitation.

and, for good measure:
Tunniel: the first test subject of Matarael's experiments. They somehow survived the years of magical abuse, although only being held together by the very occult magic responsible. Having all skin and most of the flesh removed, noone knows who this creature originally was.
Clockiel: One of the sorcerers in Adam's ranks. Where Matarael specializes in necromancy and creating chimeras, Clockiel manipulates the elements to his liking, being able to freeze over lakes for an army to march over, setting entire villages ablaze and possibly much more
MP Evas: Amysterious order of inquisition-esque knights. They wear pure white armor and wield two-handed long swords, and even if one dies, their number always stays at nine. Noone has ever seen them without their helmets on
Unit Beta: The androgynous Captain of the MP Evas. Also wielding a two-handed long sword and sporting orange armor, their helmet reveals even less than their subordinates
Unit Alpha: A mysterious, masked figure that seems to share a past with Unit Beta - constantly setting up traps and ambushes, has killed a number of MPs
Raziel: A young knight in Adam's following. He is full of ideals of virtue and honor, and spends most of his time polishing his armor to high shine.
Iblis: A warrior so massive he even towers above Zeruel. Usually accompanying Bardiel, this beast of a man has armor worn out in battle and carries an axe so massive even the strongest soldiers have trouble lifting it.
Shateiel: An archer with deadly precision. For unknown reasons, his tongue has been removed, making him mute - but he does not seem to care too much, as he is rarely in company of anyone.
Barakijal: Commander of the "hordes" - simple, brutish foot soldiers. He wears a sleeveless vest made out of sheepskin and has a turban-like piece of cloth wrapped around his head. The only thing more impressive than the massive scimitar he carries is his voice.
Turel: The head master of the MPs. A monolithic, impressive presence, in all white armor that doesn't show a single bit of skin anywhere and a cape with a golden emblem imprinted on it.
Insubstantial Angel: One of the experiments of Matarael who has died and been resurrected by MAtarael multiple times, losing more of his humanity each time. At this point, he is barely recognizable as once human anymore.