Live Action Evangelion fan-script

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chee
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Live Action Evangelion fan-script

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Postby chee » Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:15 pm

INT. GEOFRONT- GENDO'S OFFICE- DAY

GENDO stands tall on his desk, laughing maniacally. Shinji is with him.

GENDO
HAHAHAH!! Now that I have ALL FIVE CAPTAIN PLANET RINGS, I have THE POWER TO START INSTRUMENTALITY

Shinji
......uh....

Suddenly a CRASH is heard. Gendo and Shinji look up, startled. ACTION DERRIDA has blown his way through the wall with two grenade launchers, mounted on dual-wielded M-4s. He steps out from the smoke.

ACTION DERRIDA
Not so fast, Ikari!

GENDO
Blast! ACTION DERRIDA!!

An EXPLOSION fills the screen

Image

ACTION DERRIDA

EPISODE DUCK

PART 37B

GENDO
You can't stop me, Action Derrida! I've got all five Captain Planet rings, now!!

ACTION DERRIDA
(clubbing Shinji in the face with his rifle to emphasize his point)
You fool! That much of an energy burst squeezed from one hand is too much for the human form to handle!!

Shinji
C-could... could you please stop hitting me?

ACTION DERRIDA
Shut up, Asuka.

Gendo puts on the rings

ACTION DERRIDA
NO! YOU MADMAN!!

Action Derrida discards his M-4s onto Shinji.

GENDO
FIRE!! WIND!!! WATER!! EARTH!! HEART!!!

Gendo writhes in pain and transforms into an unstoppable Testuo-blob. Action Derrida takes out a waffle iron and uses it on his hand.

ACTION DERRIDA
AGGHAGHAGHAHGAHG!!!! .....Klatto Barada Nikto!!

GURREN LACAN, a gigantic mecha-Jacques Lacan, is summoned. Action Derrida climbs in. He is assisted by an AI-piloted mecha, KING KIERKEGAARD.

PART 2 COMING SOON
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Postby Adekis » Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:29 pm

What the fucking fuck.


That is all.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:31 pm

:hitthetable: Chee, your brand of insane humor never fails to leave me in stitches. :lol:

Keep it up! :asuka_thumbsup: "Shut up, Asuka." :smirk:
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Postby NemZ » Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:20 am

Philosophy Royale!!!*

*now with references to popular animated environmentalist propaganda

:woohoo:
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Postby Agentomega » Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:03 am

O_O Lul I'm mildly confused, but keep going! :thumbsup:
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Postby chee » Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:43 am

INT- TOJI'S APARTMENT- MORNING

A children's show is playing on the TV. Two PUPPETS are on-screen.

PUPPET 1
H is for Horticulture!

PUPPET 2
(vehemently)
NO. H is for WHORE.

The two puppets share an awkward silence, staring at each other.

PUPPETS 1 AND 2
....NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

The channel goes static. TOJI is sprawled out on the floor, in his underwear and eating a bowl of cereal. He spills his cereal.

TOJI
Shit.

He turns around to get a paper towel. When he's not looking, the signal briefly resumes to show the puppets convulsing and stabbing themselves, bleeding from the eyes and making gurgling sounds as they are surrounded by a lake of fire. Horrific, inhuman entities float above them. The signal is lost again. Screaming is immediately heard from the apartment next door. Toji doesn't notice. The phone rings. He immediately picks it up.

TOJI
Suzuhara. ...Mm-hm.....Mm-hm....I understand.

Toji hangs up and dials a number.

TOJI
...It's me. Action Derrida's in trouble. The world needs Kozoman again.

INT. FUYUTSUKI'S APARTMENT- CONTINUOUS

FUYUTSUKI
...I understand.

FUYUTSUKI hangs up and heads for his closet. He pulls out a hoodie, surgical mask, and goggles. He puts on the surgical mask, then hoodie, pulls the hood up, and puts on the goggles. He takes a tire-iron out from under his bed. He turns to his reflection in a mirror.

FUYUTSUKI
TO THE KOZOMOBILE!

Fuyutsuki runs out of this apartment.

EXT. TOKYO-3- BACKLOT- DAY

Fuyutsuki tiredly paces towards an old golf cart on cinder blocks with "KOZOMOBILE" written on it in crayon. He gets up behind it and tries to push it into the street.

PART 3 COMING SOON
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Postby Adekis » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:36 pm

Sammaeloo wrote:TIME FOR KOZOMAN TO DELIVER SOME KOZO JUSTICE!!!!


This story just got even more awesome.
"Why do you foolish Lilin assume you can control me? 'Cause you can't control me!" - My take on the relationship between SEELE and Kaworu
"[Eva] is a story where the main character witnesses many horrors with his own eyes, but still tries to stand up again.
It is a story of will; a story of moving forward, if only just a little." - Hideaki Anno
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Postby Sammaeloo » Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:22 pm

WHOA! This is getting nuts.

Who will be Kozoman's sidekick? Kensukeboy?
Seize the day.....by the throat....
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Postby Great Genius Shinji-Sama » Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:27 pm

Can it be Shin(ji)ko? :nyao:
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Postby chee » Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:15 pm

No.
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Postby esselfortium » Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:16 pm

Fuyutsuki tiredly paces towards an old golf cart on cinder blocks with "KOZOMOBILE" written on it in crayon. He gets up behind it and tries to push it into the street.

I am liking this.
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Sharaz Destler
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Postby Sharaz Destler » Sun Oct 11, 2009 12:22 am

After reading this, I'm of a good mind to revive the "Angel Busters" parody script-fic I dreamed up in my head a while ago. I'll do that in a separate thread...
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:21 am

Chee: Luc has some hilarious ideas for this story, hit him up in IRC tomorrow. ;)

I'm loving this btw.
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Postby chee » Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:45 am

INT. GEOFRONT- DAY

The GENDO-BLOB continues to grow as it attempts to swallow whole the Gurren-Lacan and King Kierkegaard. King Kierkegaard is crushed.

ACTION DERRIDA
NOOOOOOOOOOOO-!!

Shinji
.....

Shinji leaves.

EXT- TOKYO-3- DAY

Kozoman is holding up traffic in his attempt to push the Kozomobile all the way to the Geofront. Irritated drivers honk and shout at him.

DRIVER 1
GET OFF THE ROAD!

DRIVER 2
I WILL STEP OUT OF THIS CAR AND RAPE YOU WITH YOUR LEGS

Kozoman is not deterred.

KOZOMAN
Fools! Kozoman does not give in to the demands of--

The physical effort exerted by Kozoman causes his withered, aged arms to break.

KOZOMAN
....

He continues by pushing it with his back.
Last edited by chee on Thu Aug 19, 2010 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby schismatics » Mon Oct 19, 2009 10:02 am

:rofl:

Batshit insanity is a win.
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chee
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Postby chee » Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:03 pm

INT. GEOFRONT- DAY

Asuka drags Shinji along to the changing room. They shortly reach it. Inside is an OTAKU. Asuka snaps his neck.
Last edited by chee on Thu Aug 19, 2010 3:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Boredom » Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:40 pm

0.o Moar...
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:48 am

I guess the insanity ties together in the end, like Excel Saga?

...Challenge to fit into the plot: Kaji in a crotchless plugsuit singing "I'm a Barbie girl."
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Re: Live Action Evangelion fan-script

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Postby Taumiel » Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:24 pm

chee wrote:GURREN LACAN


ROFL
- Mary-Sue characters give us joy, and a reason to issue new merchandise... a Mary-Sue character is the highest achievement in Lilims' culture. Don't you agree... ?
- I have to say, you smell like FAIL, you SEELE-puppy!
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Postby EvaCub » Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:45 am

how about we write a fan script? bug the hell out of alfanso curano?
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