Dreams of a Distant God

[m3m3nt0v1v3r3]

There was a dark little flame in her chest that wouldn’t go out. It stoked itself on the pleasure of possessing him, and his kindness was kindling to the fire. No matter what she tried, how she reminded herself of how damned they both were, it refused to die. Pathetic. Utterly pathetic, she thought. But still: she couldn’t help, in her quiet moments, as she lay with him or watched him hum as he cooked for her, as he held her, as she clawed him and kissed him, leaving marks that would brand him as hers, she couldn’t help at these times but to draw inside her chest for a moment and hold the flame in her hands. It burned, certainly, but it was beautiful and it was spreading.

In the aftermath of Third Impact, Shinji and Asuka awake together and settle into the quiet agonies of waiting and redemption. As old friends reappear and their hearts heal, they begin to question the very nature of this reality...

~

I started to post the text of this story directly onto this board but I think I'd have to break it up in ways I don't particularly like and spend way more time than I have fiddling with the formatting, so I'm going to be lame and throw up the links to where it's already posted:

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20164807?view_full_work=true

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13355264/1/Dreams-of-a-Distant-God

I think I prefer how it looks on fanfiction.net but the AO3 is broken up into chapters, which probably eases the reading of the novel-length fanfic I apparently decided to write instead of a new dissertation chapter.

Heavy on the AsuShin, but Rei and Misato are also viewpoint characters. Not a lot of action, unless you count Asuka throwing up repeatedly. More of a meditation on how to be happy in the face of trauma, guilt, and existential uncertainty. Also, Rei gets hit by a car and everyone drinks a lot, because, frankly, what else would most of us do in the post-apocalypse?

[knittinggirl27]

I haven't finished it yet but so far I really like it. The writing is well done. I can see what's happening clearly. I'm a little less than half-way through and I hope it gets happier.
You took a very realistic approach to how the end of the world would be. Its very sad but that's to be expected. You're braver than me. In my fanfic I wrote about the characters moving on in a world that largely went back to normal after instrumentality failed and all the people returned at once.
Your fanfic is more in keeping with the show. Its so sad but the despair is really well done. I'll keep reading and post another reply after I finish it.
Thank you for the story.

I just finished it. WOW! That was amazing!
It was really well done and you really did your homework. I'm very impressed.

SPOILERS!!!!!

Don't continue reading if you haven't finished it yet.

I am so glad Asuka and Shinji found resolution and some form of happiness together in the end. It was bittersweet and beautiful. They had to go through so much to get it. I loved it.

I feel silly about my fanfic now. Yours is much better. I recommend any serious fan to read it. Fans who are less serious might enjoy mine.
I can't praise your writing style enough. It was clear and the emotion was described perfectly. You're a great writer.
Have you written any novels? Or other fanfiction? I would love to read them. If not that's okay. I know you have a life outside of anime fanfics.

In short I absolutely loved this fanfiction. It was one of the most beautiful I've ever read. You should be very proud. Thank you so much for writing it. I want every fan to read it.

[Derantor]

A nice, hearty take on the typical continuation fic. I read it more as a comedy than overly serious though (you can put the blame on the "I do not own evangelion, this is a parody" line), I don't know if that was your intention, but I really enjoyed it.

Ending and stuff  SPOILER: Show

Got mixed feelings about the ending. I really dislike "it was all a dream" stories, but, it's right there in the title, so I probably should have expected it. Putting them onto a completely different planet is - cruel. They will die. And I felt they reverted too much to their previous characters in the final chapter. If I did get it right, they both remembered what happened, so, why the sudden change?

I especially like the early chapters. I hate the "is this really reality?" stuff, not because it is badly written, but because it is an obvious thought that consumes you (and the characters) once it is introduced. I just dislike uncertainty, so, don't take it the wrong way, it is a pretty unique take you got there, it is believable and well written. I liked the lighter parts of the story, and hoped that it would stay that way throughout. There really isn't much Eva-Fan-Fic that is positive yet still believable, or rather, that is written in a way that I can accept the premise, yours being one of them. Guess that shows how much I liked it, because I got angry that you were so cruel to your characters

[AngelNo13Bardiel]

I already left my thoughts over on FFN, but I'll reiterate here:

This is excellent work, masterful even, and you should (rightfully) be proud of it. With some of the best AsuShin interactions I've read in a good long time, it's just so much fun to watch them work through the emotional barbed wire that is their feelings and relationship: desperate, broken, needy, self-hating, unsure, awkward, floundering...and it al feels just right to canon.

As I said previously: bravo, this is one to remember.

[Haruka]

Hi, I am a reader who reads your fanfic on FFN. It is such a pleasure to read your wonderful story. This is one of the best post canon fanfics of EOE I have ever read. I wonder if you could give me permission to translate this story into Chinese and share with other AsuShin fans who can’t read English. The link of ‘Dreams of a Distant God’ on FFN will be put at the beginning of the translation so people could access the original page if they want. This translation is not for any commercial using purpose, it will be posted on Chinese evangelion forums (similar to Evageeks) and private group chat for Chinese AsuShin fans (like Discord). All I wish is letting more people get to know this super underrated masterpiece. If you want me to stop sharing the translated work at any time, please let me know and I will delete it as soon as possible.