This is, as far as I know, this is the only Fallout/Eva crossover in the world. Now, I can't think of any reason why that might be except...oh, right, because it's absurd. Fallout, in case you don't know, is a very well-known Western RPG series. It takes place after the nuclear apocalypse, only instead of taking place in the future, it takes place in THE FUTURE as envisioned by 1950s America. It's a game, a story, that's very tied down to American culture.
So tossing Eva into it really doesn't make much sense.
"So," said Fuyutsuki as he readjusted his jacket, "Third Impact failed." He was standing in the Geofront, before Makoto and Shigeru, two of the handful of NERV employes that had already returned from the ocean of LCL. It had been five days since Third Impact had been averted, and while no one was quite sure how, it was apparent that they weren't going to find out.
Really? Kozo doesn't have any last-second pointless namedrops to give us? Does he feel like explaining that "Chamber of Guf" line, or has he admitted he was as lost as we were the whole time?
"Yeah," said Shigeru "Thank God."
"But there's so many people still unaccounted for," said Makoto running down a list on a laptop. "Maya, Ritsuko, Misato, Shinji, Asuka, Rei, and even the Commander himself.
Now that I think about it, exactly how does coming back from the LCL work? Did they physically claw their way out of the ocean of tang, right back where they were before, in the Geofront? Do they just concentrate hard enough, and then respawn in the ocean itself and have to float back to shore?
Fuyutsuki frowned. "I don't think we'll be seeing Gendo again, he's probably content to life as a puddle, but the others, I thought they would've returned by now."
"Well I don't know about Shinji," said Shigeru "He was pretty messed up when he went out to fight the Eva series." Shigeru flashed an expression that resembled guilt. "We probably should've found the kid a councilor, I mean to go through that much..."
Artist's rendition of Kozo's reaction to this suggestion:
"It's too soon to count them out," said Makoto sharply "More and more people are exiting the LCL by the second."
Does that include the soldiers whose last conscious thought was "kill everyone in Nerv?" If so, I see a problem on the horizon.
"True," said Fuyutsuki, looking at a television that was broadcasting a group of people that had just emerged from the LCL, being issued fresh clothes.
"But they may not want to come back, if they don't I hope they're in a better place.
Wha...Kozo, YOU WERE THERE! Not only did you know about the HIP, you were actually IN it for a while!
Misato gave a moan as she pushed herself up into a sitting position.
Honestly, the sentence could have ended after that fourth word, and I would've been fine with it.
The first thing that her mind registered, was that she was lying on what felt like hard rock. She realized that she was wearing the same clothes that she had been wearing when she had kissed Shinji.
Hey, wait, you got shot and blown up. You don't get to come back, Misato, you're just dead!
As she remembered those events, a pang of guilt spread through her. "I...really did that didn't I?" she said as she got to her feet. She had just been trying to motivate him into getting into Eva, but judging by the look on his face, her plan had backfired immensely. Now that she thought about it, she had been doing a very good job of helping Shinji through his hardships.
I think maybe that line deserves another shot.
Now that she thought about it, she had been doing a very good job of helping Shinji through his hardships.
Misato, I know you're not a therapist, and you were working through your own problems at the time, but if the kid in your care masturbates over a comatose girl, I don't think you ought to be awarding yourself a medal for your parenting skills.
"If I ever find that boy again," she muttered as she got to her feet "I have a lot of making up to do."
She took a glance around, eyes squinting in the dark, and felt her jaw drop. She was standing in a, there was no other word for it, wasteland. She didn't see a single plant anywhere apart from a few shriveled up trees.
...So, there were plants, then. That was like saying "I couldn't call you because there weren't any phones except for a bunch of rotary phones."
The skeletons of a handful of houses were visible. "What the Hell?" she whispered to herself. 'Think back,' she thought 'what happened, how did i get here? Where is here?' Her train of thought was interrupted when she heard a groan not to far from her. Turning her head, she saw a teenage boy lying on the ground not too far away, wearing a junior high uniform. "Shinji!" she shouted running towards the boy and crouching down beside him.
So you can just wind up anywhere on the planet. Sure was lucky those three all came back in the Geofront and these two were within a stone's throw of each other. Knowing Asuka's luck, she wakes up next to Norman Bates.
"Mis...asto?" the boy said weakly.
"OH Shinji!" the woman cried, tears leaked from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around the boy. "I'm sorry!" she wailed "I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for not being there for you, I'm sorry for kissing you, I'm sorry I made you get in that fucking machine I...I...I'm sorry!"
Well, in all fairness to Misato, if Shinji hadn't gone out to fight, then the MPs would've destroyed the Geofront and then SEELE would use the Evas to start Third...on second thought, I guess making Shinji go out there really didn't accomplish much.
I do like her apologizing for the kiss, though, like Shinji had just been wracking his mind trying to think of why she'd punish him like that.
Misato tightened her hold around the boy and sobbed into his chest. But Misato's crying came to a stop, when she felt something cold being pressed into the back of her head.
"Well, well, well," said a male voice "Aren't you pretty? Turn around nice and slow if you want to keep your brains."
"Wait," Misato said, "if you can't see my face, how do you know if I'm pretty?"
Misato froze. Judging by the weight her legs were carrying she didn't have her pistol with here. Deciding to do as she was told, Misato turned around slowly, hands over her head. As she turned around, she saw three men standing behind her, all wearing strange clothes that were worn and dusty. All of them had guns. The one in front, who held what looked like an assault rifle," pointing his gun at her head. "Oh yeah," he said grinning and displaying several missing teeth "We'll get 500 caps for you easy."
There's an extra quotation mark there that threw me off for a second, but you might need some background here.
In the world of Fallout, the acceptable currency is bottle caps. Apparently, the idea is that the technology used to make bottle caps was lost during the war, and there's a limited amount, so people use caps and a barter system to trade. At one point the New California Republic's dollars were backed by gold, but they had to switch back to caps when an independent faction, the Brotherhood of Steel, destroyed their gold reserves. As of the most recent game, Fallout: New Vegas, the NCR dollar is water-backed, merchants also accept the denarii of Caesar's Legion, and somebody's figured out how to counterfeit caps.
Point is, this guy says Misato's worth 5 9mm pistols in good condition. Or a limited edition antique BB gun. Or 25 small doses of morphine.
"500?" said one of other men who held a pistol "Are you crazy? Look at this girl, long flowing hair, big ass tits, and an ass to die for.
Yeah, this guy know's where it's at. He knows that in the grim darkness of the Wasteland, you sell Misato Katsuragi, you sell for WAY more than-
She's worth a thousand caps."
"We're not going to sell at all," said the third man, who held a double barreled shotgun in his hands. "Eulogy will probably want her all for himself."
In Fallout 3, the leader of the slaver settlement Paradise Falls is Eulogy Jones. He will sell you his sex-slave/elite bodyguard for 1000 caps. No wonder his Int score is 3 out of 10.
"Aw come on!" shouted the second men "He's already got Clover and Crimson warming his bed, how the Hell do you screw three girls at the same time?"
"He's right," said the first man "He'll probably give either Crimson or Clover up for this girl, Hell I would."
"You think he'll let us have the one he gives up?" said the second man.
Considering that Eulogy is so evil that killing him is considered by the game to be a good deed, doubtful.
"Maybe," said the third "But just in case he doesn't I say we, 'test' this girl, just to make sure she works. Eulogy won't wan't a girl that sucks in bed, and good looks don't necessarily equal quality in bed."
Bob, The Smart Rapist.
"I like the way you think," said the first man as he pointed his assault rifle at Misato. "You. Clothes off. Now."
Misato blinked. "Wh...what?"
Misato hasn't been following a word of this, because she can't speak English.
"Woo-wee, I love the innocent ones," said the second man "They squeal so loudly."
"Man you are screwed up," said the third man "It's one thing to love the feeling, it's another to love the pain and agony you cause the girl I swear one of these days that is going to get you killed you ass..." But the third man's words were cut short as a loud bang was heard and his head exploded.
I...what? Did he manifest another personality? Was he as confused as I am? Did he roll Perils of the Warp? Was there a bomb planted in his head that would only go off if he got an erection?
"WHAT THE HELL!" shouted the first man as he looked around wildly for the source of the gunshot, the second man mimicking his moves.
"WHO'S THERE?" shouted the second man, pointing his pistol randomly into the distance. He paused as a noise reached his ears. It sounded like and animal growling. The man gave a cry of pain as a sharp pain tore through his leg. Falling to the ground, he saw what had causing the pain. A dog leapt towards his face, jaws open wide. The man had just enough time to let out a scream before the dog closed it's jaws around the man's throat.
Dogs. I knew it.
I. Fucking. Hate. Dogs.
What a great idea, Fallout-creators! A lovely doggy companion! In a game where 90% of the enemies have firearms, and those that don't are probably ROBOTS AND HORRIBLE MUTANT ABOMINATIONS, we get a character whose only mode of attack is teeth. You can totally see why you'd want a dog for a companion in the wasteland, and not, the ghoul bodyguard with a shotgun, the mutant with a gatling gun, or the woman in power armor. Oh, no. It's all about that mangy fucking sack of...I hate dogs.
The last man aimed his assault rifle at the dog, trying to get a shot that wouldn't hit the still thrashing body of his friend. There was another loud bang, and the first man fell to the ground, letting out a cry of pain, dropping his assault rifle as he did. As he reached for his assault rifle a booted foot stepped down on his hand, crushing it. As the man let out a roar, Misato looked at the man who was standing on his hand. He wore a worn duster and the kind of hat that had been worn in the 50s.
Misato recognizes fashion from 1950s America?
And the wanderer is wearing a pre-war hat instead of something cool? Well, he already has a dog companion, so clearly this person is deadset on being a shitty character. Dumbass probably put all his skill points in Barter, too.
He held a 44. magnum in his hand and was pointing as the first man's head. "Testing?" said the man in the duster, anger thick in his voice. "You slaver trash make me sick." There was a loud bang as he man in the duster fired his magnum, causing the first man's head to explode.
Not that Misato realized he had said all that, because again, her English isn't up to snuff.
"Dogmeat," said the man in the duster, looking at the dog, who had torn out the throat of the second man by now.
Yes, that is really the dog's name. Don't ask.
The dog looked up, swallowed a mouthful of meat. and walked over to the man in the duster.
"Who...who are you?" asked Misato, standing protectively in front of the semi-conscious Shinji.
"My name is Issac."
You mean "Isaac?"
said Issac,
Hey, whatever, man, it's your character.
"And this is Dogmeat," he said, pointing at the dog. "Now before I do any further I need to know that I can trust you. Luckily for you, I have a standard rule of thumb for this. Stick out your hand." Not sure what was going to happen, Misato extended her hand, palm open. Dogmeat walked forward and began to sniff her hand. After a few seconds, he began to lick the hand, then turned around and barked at Issac.
"Alright," said Issac "Dogmeat likes you, you're alright."
Uh, he just ate a part of that slaver. I don't know if his taste is really something you can rely on to find trustworthy people.
"Ok." said Misato hesitantly "What happened here?" she asked gesturing to the ruined landscape.
"Nuclear war," said Issac "Where have you been for the last 200 years?"
So Shinji and Misato dragged themselves out of the LCL 200 years later. Or more, rather, since it would probably be a while before society had rebuilt itself enough after Third Impact to have nuclear weapons.
Or did they just appear in another universe? Because that's the problem with a Fallout crossover: Fallout is pretty specific. The post-Third Impact world might be a "wasteland," but it won't be the post-nuclear war wasteland, and without nuclear war, there really is no Fallout.
"But...I...how?" said Misato stuttering.
"Look, your obviously confused," said Issac "I've got a place not to far from here where you can stay for the night and we'll try to make sense of all of this." he said as he stooped down and picked up Shinji.
I'd actually forgotten Shinji was in this story. Might not be a good sign when one of the most important characters doesn't have a complete sentence in your first chapter, rough draft or otherwise.
"Come on," he said as he walked away, Misato following him. "Oh and by the way, some people call me the Lone Wander, just so you know."
WHAT
NO.
No, they fucking DON'T. The Lone Wanderer, maybe, but not the Lone Wander. "Who was that masked man?" "That was the Lone RANGE." They got away with it in Shadow of the Colossus because they COULDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH. Author erttheking clearly does not have this excuse.
This wasn't badly written, but there were enough little things in there that pissed me off. Maybe it's just too early in the morning and I need snacks.[/i][/quote]