Transformers 3: The Dark of the Moon

[Twin Drive Sigma Aquarion]

Well, I just saw it in 3D (first 3D movie I've ever been to). There are goods and bads with this movie.


Goods

SPOILER: Show

-Redesigns kick it up to 11
-Really well done action comparable to Revenge of The Fallen
-Sentinel Prime is the best villain of the trilogy
-I like the new autobots

Bads

SPOILER: Show

-They went back to the first movie idea on having too much talking that did not belong
-I rarely nitpick at movie logic but HOW THE F**K DID CYBERTRON'S GRAVITATION PULL NOT TEAR THE EARTH APART!?
-Humans killing decepticons. I don't mind the human and below sized ones getting killed by humans, BUT ENTIRE SQUADS OF REGULAR ONES!? COME ON! At least Devastator had the excuse of being killed by a large railgun! AND SAM KILLING STARSCREAM WTF!?!?!?!?
-Speaking of which not only did the Decepticons lack decent screen time like the autobots, but they die off quickly, namely Soundwave, Shockwave, Starscream, and Megatron

Still a little mixed, but overall I found it great.

[Gendo'sPapa]

To quote Devin Faraci:

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the Michele Bachmann of cinema. Despite all of its staggering flaws it will have its supporters, and its success is part of a trend of accepting less and pretending it’s more.

http://www.badassdigest.com/2011/06/28/movie-review-transformers-dark-of-the-moon-is-terrible

[InstrumentalityOne]

Just came back from the theaters.

SPOILER: Show

This movie is bad.
The CG is beautiful(in the opening scene at least), but the whole film is a terrible terrible terrible mess.
The plot is stupid as fuck and made no sense at all.
Most of the scenes are just senseless filler that could´ve been cut out without hurting the movie AT ALL.

Plot holes and logical fallacies were everywhere too.
SUPER ADVANCED ALIEN RACES CANNOT ENCRYPT SHIT AND "HACKING"
WHAT KILLED SEVERAL FIGHTERS CANNOT KILL THE VILLAIN OR THE MAIN GIRL
NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE MAIN GIRL OR THE PROTAGONIST IN PLAIN SIGHT JUST LET THEM FLY AWAY WITHOUT SHOOTING AT THEM
PROTAGONIST AND ARMY RUN AROUND DOING SHIT WHILE THE AUTOBOTS CHILL

And there´s basically no distinction between serious and comic-relief.
Someone´s getting killed?
Make him fall down all funny like WAAAAAH!!!! and follow up with some inappropiate jokes.
Everything goes to shit?
Stereotypical black man does some comic relief by praying to good.
Asking parents about your girlfriend before an impending world crisis?
FAMILY COUNCIL AND DICK JOKES

And as TDSA said, the biggest issue of this movie was the whole "call of duty" Humans vs. Robots crap.
THIS IS TRANSFORMERS
I WANT TO SEE ROBOTS BEATING EACH OTHER UP GOD FUCKING DAMMIT


I am disappointed.

[Twin Drive Sigma Aquarion]

Also, this film has NO CLIMAX whatsoever.

Other than Megatron and Sentinel Prime

SPOILER: Show

biting the dust

[InstrumentalityOne]

SPOILER: Show

I thought that it was pretty anti-climatic.
Cared for neither one, really.
I was all like "YOU EXPECT ME TO TAKE THIS AS THE GRAND FINALE, YOU LAZY FUCKS?"

[FreakyFilmFan4ever]

A lot of big action films recently released seem to have lost the idea of what a climax should be. Most of it only seems to be a point within the first 10 minutes that sets everything up, a large middle portion where over-the-top, unbelievable stunts and effects happen, and a point at the end where it all just stops suddenly. There's no build-up to the action or anything like that. I felt the same way about most of the Marvel films and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

[Shogo-Kun]

Well, looks like I've found another film to avoid like the plauge this summer.

[Twin Drive Sigma Aquarion]

I was all like "YOU EXPECT ME TO TAKE THIS AS THE GRAND FINALE, YOU LAZY FUCKS?"

You should, they were the main villains.

A lot of big action films recently released seem to have lost the idea of what a climax should be. Most of it only seems to be a point within the first 10 minutes that sets everything up, a large middle portion where over-the-top, unbelievable stunts and effects happen, and a point at the end where it all just stops suddenly. There's no build-up to the action or anything like that.

No, they have the right idea, if anything they finally got it through their heads what audiences really want and that is for movies to stay in their genre and entertain them, not bore them. The further back in time you go the less entertaining movies are.

[Spud]

Despite everyone's advice I think I'll see this

BUT I'll be going in expecting nothing but CG explosions and robots beating the crap out of each other

Besides it's good to be social

[FreakyFilmFan4ever]

No, they have the right idea, if anything they finally got it through their heads what audiences really want and that is for movies to stay in their genre and entertain them, not bore them. The further back in time you go the less entertaining movies are.

I was referring to the idea of each action scene being better and more exciting than the last one until the final show down. And some films today still have this going for them. I think The A-Team did a good job of escalating the action or the situation with every new scene, as did The Dark Knight.

Now, I haven't seen The Dark of the Moon, so I can't voice an opinion on that film just yet.

[Spud]

Just got back

If you're looking for an explosions you got it
If you want deep story and riveting dialog ... well you're way off

I wanted explosions, I got explosions
Money well spent (besides it was discount day )

[Reichu]

I'm the sort who tends to get very quickly bored by action that isn't grounded in a narrative context. Is that odd?

Far as this franchise is concerned, I've only ever half-paid-attention to the very beginning of the first Transformers movie, and even that was just to check a scratched library copy for playability. I dunno, it sounds like I haven't missed out on a whole lot.

I can't help but wonder why people who are fully ready to admit the movie is garbage would give Hollywood their cash. The only way trash like this won't get made is if people don't see it, right?

[TMBounty_Hunter]

I wanted explosions, I got explosions
Money well spent

This. Worth every penny of $18.75 3D IMAX. Really don't know what else to look forward to with such purdy and unapologetic special effect abuse.

If you want deep story and riveting dialog ... well you're way off

People should have learned at least a decade ago not to expect Oscar winning scriptwriting and acting from Bay movies. Or even fully coherent storytelling and logical lines of thought. You have only yourself to blame if you were disappointed because of misplaced expectations.

[THE Hal E. Burton 9000]

I wanted explosions, I got explosions
Money well spent

you could just go to certain parts of the world and see shit blow up good IRL and even get paid for it [/sarcasm]

[Merridian]

^because audiences obviously flock to theatres looking for 1:1 realism.

[evaunit13]

although i liked the movie, i wouldnt watch it again in theaters. first 30 minutes were slow and boring, many action scenes were too long and the main decepticons didn't get enough screentime. a lot of the humor came from cussing and the kind of things that middle schoolers would laugh at, but i guess they're one of the main target audiences? whenever sam's boss showed up i mentally groaned because he was useless.

[InstrumentalityOne]

I can't help but wonder why people who are fully ready to admit the movie is garbage would give Hollywood their cash. The only way trash like this won't get made is if people don't see it, right?

The only way to be sure that it is trash is by seeing it, no?

[FreakyFilmFan4ever]

I'm the sort who tends to get very quickly bored by action that isn't grounded in a narrative context. Is that odd?

Not at all. In fact, I left the movie right after Optimus Prime "died" in Transformers 2. I was bored, didn't care anymore, and was tired of the film's half-hearted attempts at making me care. Especially when I realized that I was only half-way through it at that point.

I think it was another 6 months before a friend of mine convinced me to finish the film, and that only worked because we both agreed to pick up right where I left off.

[Reichu]

The only way to be sure that it is trash is by seeing it, no?

From what I've read, quite a number of people have less than flattering expectations of Michael Bay movies long before they go to see one, and those expectations are 100% fulfilled.

BTW, I don't consider "mindless eye candy" extremely flattering. There's no reason a movie can't be both eye candy and satisfy some of those other criteria in the most basic way. Even some completely insipid films manage to have a genuine charm.

I know I'm committing the grave sin of "complaining about shit I haven't seen". Things just don't really seem to add up from where I'm standing... (Incidentally, I'll probably view the TF movies sometime with my brother when we get into a "riff the shit out of terrible mainstream movies" mood.)

[Tarnsman]

The criteria for me enjoying a Michael Bay film:
1 - The main character has to be played by an actor I enjoy watching.
2 - There needs to be a supporting character played by an actor I really like.
3 - The plot needs to be completely retarded, but still make sense in its own realm of stupidity.
4 - The main action-arc of the film needs to take place on an island or any other object that is surrounded by something preventing the cast from escaping.
5 - There needs to be an obscene amount of patriotism, but not too gratuitous.
6 - The action needs to be visible and not just a giant mess of quick shots and shaky cam.
7 - The comic relief and racial stereotypes shall remain primarily background characters, not 90% of the cast.


None of the Transformers movies have these criteria, so I can't even enjoy them as dumb action films.