FML general thread [7]

[Sicarius VI]

^ I had this happened to me not so long ago. To the point of messing with my voice.
It's sore but you'll get though it.

[Mr. Tines]

I find that Drambuie makes an excellent medication for sore throats. It's about the only occasion on which I will partake of spirits.

[Glor]

Haha, well, it was a quiet Sunday today and upon arriving home with my two roommates, one of which is my girlfriend, I feel the need for bacon. So I whip out a package of maple glazed bacon. It's been expired for a week. But that's fine, I risk it. This shit was expensive. Beforehand, I start my laundry, things are pretty chill. Midway into my bacon cooks, there's a puddle of rapidly spreading water under the stove. "Shit, there is water coming out of this bitch!" I say, but that doesn't make sense. I look to the laundry room door. The washer. Fuck. Opening the door, water is pouring out of this thing. It's already flooded the laundry room. My screams alert my roommates, who start rushing for towels as I fiddle with the washing machine. As I unplug it, hilariously thinking this will fix everything, it continues to pour water into the kitchen. Living in the comedic moment, I scream, "WE CAN'T SHUT IT DOOOOWN!"

Roommates are throwing down towels. I call it quits and stand in front of the stove, socks soaked. The bacon is still cooking. So I put a few more into the pan. Kitchen is still filling with water. I think we managed to save the carpet. While my girlfriend is frantically trying to find the emergency maintenance number, my roommate asks me if I turned the nobs at all. Realizing my panic induced oversight, I march into the laundry room and find the water nobs in a hollowed out part of the wall behind the machine, turning them and ceasing the egregious flow of water. Soaked towels everywhere. Fuck, my clothes. Maintenance won't answer. I keep cooking bacon.

We didn't save the carpet.

Like, fml, but at least the bacon was good.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

I'm surprised people buy maple bacon. I make my own. Here's hoping you're not back in the FML thread in a few hours with an upset stomach.

[Ray]

Thanks for the laugh Glor. Sorry for laughing at your misery, but the way you worded it just made me chuckle.

[r1cepurin]

Since having the house to myself, I actually kind of forgot that I compulsively talk to myself until my family came home. I have a disorder that causes this. Therapists say it's OCD/anxiety disorder, but I feel like there's something much more specific about it. Anyway, it's a thing that's been taking over my life and how other people perceive me each day. I am terribly shy, but I still blurt obscenities when I think of something embarrassing that happened years ago, or if I want to block irritating thoughts (blurting obscenities as in, my mind enjoys forcing me to say the N-word or "rape" in public a lot), or publicly out loud pretend I'm talking to anyone I consider a friend and pretending to show them around the grocery store and explaining the items to them. It makes me look lonely and out of my mind, and I actually have had trouble finding and keeping a job because of it. I voluntarily quit my last job,but it's because my old job consisted of talking to people and people started to notice that I talk to myself, as well as customers actually asking me personal questions about how I act. It's sad because a lot of people thought I was really good, but this is a thing that holds me back. And yes, I've tried meds, but they only make me relax. The talking to myself thing doesn't go away. Also, I was tested negative for tourettes.

The reason why I'm bringing this up now is because my youngest sister told me that she said it's the most annoying thing about me, tells me to shut up even after explaining to her that it's not voluntary, and added with "I'm not going to miss you when you leave because I don't have to hear you do that". I was just trying to make breakfast for myself...

[robersora]

^
I'm really sorry to hear that, this must have been a slap into your face. Unfortunately I cannot help you, but I really feel for your. Feel hugged and loved.

[IronEvangelion]

The local rednecks are not happy about the decision to remove the battle flag. Ever since that day, I've been seeing pickup trucks rolling down the road with huge confederate battle flags flying from their beds. I'm talking about the size you'd put on a standard flagpole. The day the decision was made I saw 6 trucks doing this, and I'm still seeing one or two every day. It's getting obnoxious. Thankfully some people are countering this trend by flying huge American flags from their own trucks.

[Trajan]

Whoever submitted my grades to the registar made a mistake and didn't factor in my bonus points. I should have an A- in the class instead of the B+ I've been assigned. I'm frankly pretty pissed right now because I shouldn't have to deal with this and I'm wondering if it's even worth the effort to submit requests for grade changes and what not. I'm not expecting a good grade in Finance so I might do it just to bolster my GPA a little. Guess I'm emailing my professor tomorrow.

[Squigsquasher]

So I was browsing the Revoltech Wiki when all of a sudden something installed itself on my computer without me asking. Now my computer is totally flooded with malware and is practically unuseable, even after a MalwareBytes scan/purge. I cannot restore the system for some reason either.

My computer may be fucked.

[Shamsiel-kun]

So apparently opening your mouth too wide can cause your lower jaw to dislocate, either fully or just enough to cause an inflammation of the joints.

Guess who managed to do the latter just last week? Guess who now has been having trouble eating for the past week and will have for the coming few weeks?

Also bonus earache because the joint pain radiates towards the ears.

I'm forbidden from eating hard stuff and making faces

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

So apparently opening your mouth too wide can cause your lower jaw to dislocate, either fully or just enough to cause an inflammation of the joints.

Guess who managed to do the latter just last week? Guess who now has been having trouble eating for the past week and will have for the coming few weeks?

Also bonus earache because the joint pain radiates towards the ears.

I'm forbidden from eating hard stuff and making faces

I have no idea what the context is, but I can make hay with that kind of setup.

[Catamari]

Someone at work got a little guy called CryptoWall 3.0. It preceded to encrypt everything it could, until the share drives were all but useless. It then decided to add some insult to the injury by shitting its ransom notes in every affected directory. It's ransomware, so they want us to pay them a large some of Bitcoin to get the private key to decrypt everything.

Getting rid of it wasn't too bad, it's deal with the damage that's the problem. Restoring from backups, now.

I don't know who was patient 0, but I have a hunch. The attack vector was most likely through a PDF email attachment.

[pwhodges]

Those are very nasty - especially the ones that access network drives like that. Make sure that some of your backups are not accessible from the machine they are taken from. (The only good argument for tape...)

[Catamari]

Those are very nasty - especially the ones that access networks drives. Make sure that some of your backups are not accessible from the machine they are taken from.

We've feared this for a while.

It is incredibly fortunate that, when I was working from my apartment, I would make routine offline backups. I guess I'll be making a trip up to my apartment if the backups here are compromised. So far, so good.

[Shamsiel-kun]

I have no idea what the context is, but I can make hay with that kind of setup.

Oh, last week I felt rather tired at a certain point, and I yawned...a bit too much. So remember, don't yawn with your mouth really wide open, you might dislocate your jaw...

It sounds really stupid, like something from a comedy series, but in all seriousness feels rather incomfortable...

[Catamari]

So, it just keeps getting better.

Apparently, my mother expects me to do parts of my job for free. If you didn't see the post in the thread about it, we've got some ransomware at the office. Anyway, last night she moaned at me for insisting that I clock in when she asked me to help put goods away (takes about 30-45 minutes, which is part of my job, just not today, we close at 6, but only some people are required to stay until 6 for certain days, mine is Wednesday, this happened Friday). I stayed late because I was taking them to dinner. So, fast forward to dinner, my mother, still acting like my boss, proceeds to berate me over the clock-in issue...at dinner...that I paid for.

But it gets better. Later that night (at home, I might add), for whatever reason, she asked me to figure out a way to detect which files on our share server have been encrypted by the ransomware (hint all of them).

I asked the accountant to add last night's work to this week's hours. But no, mum wouldn't pay me for it. Because, apparently, "I'm on call". An aspect that I have never been paid for, nor one that was in my employment contract.

Does she even want her IT personnel? Because it is clear to me that she doesn't.

[Trajan]

Got a sad feeling when I looked at my bank account today, especially since I got roped into paying $32 a month for Save the Children. Since I don't have a job, I probably should have said no, but I'm too much of a softie when it comes to charities.

[Bagheera]

Got a sad feeling when I looked at my bank account today, especially since I got roped into paying $32 a month for Save the Children. Since I don't have a job, I probably should have said no, but I'm too much of a softie when it comes to charities.

That's apparently a pretty good one, so don't feel too bad about it. It's money well spent.

[Trajan]

That's apparently a pretty good one, so don't feel too bad about it. It's money well spent.

Yeah, it's probably a good thing considering how miserly I can be. The worst thing that actually happened today turned out to be the fact that I threw my back out at the gym. Hurts like hell. Might go to the grocery store to get some advil tomorrow.