FML general thread [7]

[Guy Nacks]

There is a girl in her early to mid 20's who has an erotic but non-nude tumblr blog that I visit for...reasons. Normally, this girl seemed to have a very upbeat personality. She's attractive in a cute way and very punk, but not quite emo in terms of fashion trendiness. She's also way into geek culture.

Just about 20 minutes ago, I found via a video she just posted on her site that she has depression and apparently tried to kill herself over the weekend with pills. Her video explained her current situation that she's in and I couldn't help but feel like there is so much more that needs to be done to help people who have depression...they need sponsors just the same way that AA members have theirs...to be there for each other in times of need. I don't know if such things already exist, but if not, they should. She says they she'll resume with her blog in the near future, but I hope she finds the help that she needs because that is more important than her blog.

There's 7 billion people on this planet and not one of them with a good heart should have to feel alone.

[Compiling_Autumn]

what is a good heart, anyways? Is it someone who generally means well?

I thought about cutting myself for the first time in nearly three years today. I've never done it, but the thoughts come up when I'm feeling really stressed out. I was in this classroom of little tenth graders, thinking about taking a straight razor to my forehead.

[Shinoyami65]

I got two E grades consecutively in my Maths and Applied Maths tests this week.

Kill me now.

It's not even funny when I'm doing really well in both of my other subjects but this thing is dragging my uni application to the grave.

[Blue Monday]

I was in this classroom of little tenth graders, thinking about taking a straight razor to my forehead.

What specifically is the source of stress in your work? Just the kids being typical teenage bastards or something else?

[Compiling_Autumn]

What specifically is the source of stress in your work? Just the kids being typical teenage bastards or something else?

The kids are fine. It's the endless amount of paperwork and planning. I'm starting to think that this isn't the right career for me

[Shinoyami65]

I feel slow, stupid and weak. I feel as if all the progress I made over the last six months has washed away in the bitter light and I'm just lying around waiting for someone to put me out of my misery. Somehow over Christmas I've undone all the academic and physical achievements that I'd managed to work towards and now I'm even worse than I was before.

[Mr. Tines]

So last week our CEO announced a 7% headcount reduction worldwide; that's now rolled out to the various sites, and it's ended up taking about a third of the team I'm in. The worst bit is that they aren't even asking for volunteers, so I'm going to be one of the ones who has to stay and pick up the pieces after we lose some fairly critical heads.

[Rosenakahara]

similarly, the place my mum works at announced that they are cutting back all employees hours except for the greedy pigs up at management who came up with this idea so now my mum has to find a new job by around april or we lose the house and i do not have enough money to pay for my own house yet.

[Shinoyami65]

My mother's been unemployed for a few months now, we're living off our savings and the generosity of our grandmother.

She also doesn't seem particularly worried about finding a new job, either.

Even if I do get into uni I'm worried I wouldn't be able to afford it.

[Sailor Star Dust]

My mom up North's been unemployed for a few months (my aunt's been visiting Grandma in Poland for 2 months to help her out since she's 91 already) but she's somehow making do for bills/apartment payment/etc with little side-jobs until my aunt gets back this coming week.

I know she's more than capable of finding a steady job besides her standard care-taking (since it's working for a family) or self-employed hair stylist (too competitive at places she worked for/clients would be stolen away) but she's just stubborn when I try to offer her advice about going into other things, like Polish English translation or working at a clothing boutique (she had years of experience from stores when I was little).

I know she'll bounce back, it's frustrating that she's always stubborn--considering all the debt she's in and bills she has to pay.

That aside, it's still surreal and sad as hell that it's been almost a week without our dog. The cat and bird give us plenty of company, but still.

[Lavinius]

The same the same the same. And it seems unlikely that there's any reason to believe that there even is a solution. All the churches seem about as (ir)rational. But it's too much of a risk not to play. God. The emotive part of me has the whisper-urge to just die now to end the suspense. But that couldn't even advantage anyone a single thing, least not me.
Ah me, how hard a thing it is to say, what is this is absurd this is absurd this is absurd. Did Jesus die for this? Impenetrable intellectual stalemate, between I don't know how many churches. Why should I assume that the true church is within reach to me any more that to some primitive being preached to by only one church- or none? Calvinism is the only kind with a reasonable explanation to that, but in that case I'm obviously not one of the elect.
Marcus Aurelius' Ægyptian wizard cast miracles too.
And the Old Testament is just an elaborating king list with obvious standard Semitic mythological origins. But they say vice versâ. But it's no more plausible than the Iliad.
Why don't I worship the Pharaoh of Japan?
The world is fully comprehensible without Christianity or any other religion. But there's that damn(ing) lake of fire.
The world is suffering. "The wage of sin is death" isn't death good enough then? This is reasoning with a madman, a sadist. Jesus is of course the greatest Pharisee of them all.
How is one to tell truth from retconning? All the churches retcon their absurd story, or at least all but one would, but it seems like all.
It's an effective meme, I'll give you that. But so is the truth, except when it isn't.

I hear A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man kind of deals with this. I'll give it a try.

[Rosenakahara]

I try not to ever challenge another faith even though i lack a lot of it my own to be respectful but i have found that any religion that believes that their god will send anyone who does not worship them daily will end up in an inferno for the rest of eternity yet in the same sense preaches that that god loves all and cannot see the contradiction in their own words, who are blinded by their faith that much are truly not worth my time.

Might not be may place as i see no reason to believe in what you may but this earth is all we have, it isn't perfect and it sure as hell has its soul crushing moments, but there is great beauty in life, it is not just suffering, when you are dead you are dead, sure you might go to a conceptual afterlife but there is also an equal chance there is nothingness, and honestly no matter what you may think irreversible nothingness is not worth risking.

[soul.assassin]

I don't know, but everytime I go "home" from field work seems that I feel more tired as if the damn "bedroom" I'm in sucked the energy out of me. So I feel like procrastinating when I have to do the shit that everyone else doesn't want to do.


-----------------
Today: am on hair triggers. Anymore and if I lose my patience completely I might throw anything at this fucking fat prick that is the in-law.

[pwhodges]

Someone is using my name and address fraudulently right now. In the past few days I have received: (1) a refusal of a bank loan which I didn't apply for, (2) a request to visit a bank branch to verify my identity in relation to a credit card application I did not make, (3) an actual credit card which I didn't apply for (from the same bank as the earlier refusal).

The presumption, after talking to the banks concerned, is that the perpetrator is hoping to intercept my mail - possibly from my external mailbox - however, they've not done well with that, particularly as the credit card sat in that mailbox for three days while I was away this weekend.

I'm getting a credit report to see if any other applications have been made that I need to forestall.

[Shinoyami65]

After being ceaselessly depressed for the past week or so I snapped today. I feel abandoned completely. I can't talk to anybody and I really feel that the worst is yet to come. I just can't shake this losing streak.

[Dataprime]

Playing tons of video games helps me deal with my depression.
It seems to work

[UrsusArctos]

Someone is using my name and address fraudulently right now.

Cripes. This is the last thing I'd want to discover.

[Ornette]

I'm getting a credit report to see if any other applications have been made that I need to forestall.

I don't suppose credit unions there allow freezes for reports? If so, you should just freeze your credit reports so they can't give it out. Unless you plan on taking out a loan or getting a new credit card, there's no reason to allow your credit report to be given out to anyone who asks. This way, if someone tries to take a credit card or something under your name, they'll just say to the guy, "You've frozen your credit reports, you need to unfreeze them before we can continue".

[pwhodges]

I know of nothing like that here. But I am now on a register of people whose details are being used fraudulently, which means that most lenders will do extra checks. This has been done for me by one of the banks concerned; if I'd wanted to do it myself off my own bat, I'd have had to pay (£20 for the one I looked at - and there is another register, I think). The credit checking companies have a similar service, but that costs something like £15 a month, and there are several of them to deal with.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, I have just broken the forum I am admin of, and don't have enough server access to fix it. I patched a PHP file, and used the wrong comment convention at one point... I did the patch through the forum's admin interface, but the error has broken the interface, so I can't reverse it.

The server admin is usually very responsive though - I just hope he is today.

[Blue Monday]

I can't talk to anybody and I really feel that the worst is yet to come.

It'll be okay. Shoot me a PM, Shino. I'm interested to talk about it.