EGF's House of Lonely Hearts

[Stryker]

If we look at it from a purely statistical standpoint, it seems unlikely that you would be in an abusive relationship again. Go for it.

And if the case seems to be that she is abusive, end the relationship. Hold no guilt for it either.

[ZapX]

You're 14. If someone's interested in you, you might as well explore it. You can always call it off if it ends up being bad. Just have fun and treat her right.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

I don't think you've got anything to lose, mate. Go on ahead! ;)

[Monk Ed]

On top of school worries I'm also preparing for Anime Central which comes up this weekend.

My heart has never been so aflutter for Anime Central. Usually I think of it as an event I just kind of endure for a couple of days. I mean what exactly do you do there, anyway? But last ACen, I actually encountered someone I developed some interest in and got an opening that I wound up unable to capitalize on. And that was on the one time I left my hotel room and went to an event.

So I need some advice too: How exactly does one handle meeting someone at a convention? As I described in the linked post above, I met someone and blew my opportunity to even get contact information. I did fantasize at the time about how I "should" have handled the situation but I have no idea if any of those would actually have been good ideas. Especially, for example, asking if someone has a boyfriend at the end of the first time you've met them -- good idea, bad idea? What are the right questions to ask? I don't know what to do but I'm really hoping to meet someone this time and not blow another opportunity like I did last year.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

When I met my last GF at a con, it was after we had both left the same anime showroom. Since there was one more day of the con, I asked for her number so that we could meet up the following day. I would say that asking somebody if they have a boyfriend right off the bat may not be the best idea- wait a bit until they've had some time to know you. Worst comes to worst, you ask something and they respond with "I have a boyfriend." Long story short, if they want to see you again, they'll give you the number. Presumably, had she asked, you would have given her yours. ;)

[Monk Ed]

You met at an Attack on Titan panel, right? Care to tell the story in any more detail? Preferably matching the level of detail I wrote up in the linked post about my missed opportunity last year?

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Ask, and thou shalt receive. My memory's a tad rusty for a lot of detail, though. It's nearly been a year, after all.

SPOILER: Show

The Con had let out about an hour ago and I had eaten dinner with my family (my father gets me into the SDCC for free, so it's really the least I can do.) I had lounged about in the gaming room for a while before heading down the halls to the anime showrooms. I'd never seen SnK before, but I'd heard so much hype about it that I was silently assuring myself that I wouldn't like it.

So I arrived in the hall, and ducked in while the anime before (don't remember what title it was) was playing. The place was mostly empty, but when I was preparing to take a seat right at the front, I saw these two girls sitting a row in front of me: a blond and a brunette. I was right behind them. As the show was playing, I leaned forward, tapped the blond (who happened to be cosplaying, and as a role that I would later learn was a Survey Corps member) and asked, "Have you ever seen this before?" She shook her head, and asked the girl next to her (past GF) if she had seen it either. She said no. I introduced myself and mentioned that I was there to see SnK, and that I was assuming I wouldn't like it because of all the hype. They looked shocked, laughed, and told me that I was going to love it.

The show started, and (of course) I was blown away by it. During the opening, the two of them stood up and shouted "JEAGER!" at one point. I remember finding that amusing. After it ended, I moved up to their row and wound up sitting next to the blonde one. The second episode started, and this time I rose and shouted with them.

Afterwards, the two of them and I sat down in the hall outside the screen room and talked about SnK and all the other anime that we'd watched. As it got later and I wanted to get back to my hotel, I asked both of them if I could get their numbers, so that we could meet up tomorrow if they wanted. Both of them said yes.

The following day, my cell phone died.

I couldn't reach either one of them. Mortified, I walked around the con and wound up going out for lunch with our very own AggroxCraig, with whom I had planned to eat with several weeks in advance. My phone started working that evening, so I texted the girls, apologized for my phone, etc, etc. When I was on the train back home, I texted both of them again, and the brunette happened to be the one that responded. I didn't text her again for two months, until I idly found her number in my phone one day and fired off a text. From there, we texted, skyped, and facebooked until we started going out in January. It ended three months later. I think it would have helped if we had dated more before truly 'going out' or whatever you wanna call it.

It's about a third the length of yours, but as they say, concise is better.

[Monk Ed]

story

Wow. That's certainly not how I always imagined it going. In fact, it's parallel enough to my own experience that, knowing also how it ended, I no longer feel like I missed the opportunity of a lifetime. Because even if I'd successfully kept contact with her and she turned out to be available and interested in me too, what are the odds we would have been right for each other anyway, given all the stars that have to align beyond merely meeting someone and having a common interest? There's a lot more than being mutually into cute boys raping big-tittied police girls that goes into making a relationship work.

But that is actually something pretty rare to find in an attractive female so now I'm sad again. :( but only kinda

It's about a third the length of yours, but as they say, concise is better.

If that were true every novel would be a synopsis.

[AngelNo13Bardiel]

Quite a story there, Nuke.

So should I bite the bullet and accept or should I reject her?

As the others have already chimed in, I say go for it with gusto. You're young, don't say no to potentially good things.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

That's certainly not how I always imagined it going.

Well, what did you think happened?

[Vegeta 20XX]

[Probably wasn't a good idea to begin with.]

[Shinoyami65]

^

SPOILER: Show

Klingons would probably have some sort of ritualistic dual to the death for the right to marry the woman. That's probably not an option here.

I can't really offer any solid advice; it sounds like you really like this woman but don't want to do the Klingon thing and claim her as your own because that would be a dick move in this situation. And it probably is.

The best thing to do would be to wait until their relationship unravels completely before trying to do anything. From what you say, it seems nigh-inevitable that at some point they will break up, and at that point you can decide if you want to pursue something deeper with the woman or just stay friends. If by some miracle they end up not breaking up, then by remaining quiet you'll have avoided looking as if you were trying to capitalize on their near-breakup, and thus will probably avoid a good ol'-fashioned Klingon brawl. Just keep supporting the relationship and being a good friend for now.

You could just wait for someone as or nearly as perfect to come along, although that's not likely. But it would probably be very unwise to act on your feelings at this point, which you seem to recognise.

[heavytread]

Excuse me for a moment while I bang my head on the wall.

I asked out the girl who normally tries to ask me out, and she rejected me. Said I made her "wait too long." Last ditch effort to get a girlfriend failed (considering I refuse to ask out my friend). Of course I knew something like this would happen but come on. Really? She'd been hitting on me for over a year even while I had a girlfriend. Now's when she decides to give up on me? I mean I don't blame her, but really?

Now I feels lonely. I just wants a hug.

[TheFriskyIan]

Excuse me for a moment while I bang my head on the wall.

I asked out the girl who normally tries to ask me out, and she rejected me. Said I made her "wait too long."

"Go out with me! Go out with me! Go out with me!"
"Lol, never mind."

You deserve better. Regardless of how long she waited, if she knew you were hesitant she should've understood.

[Chuckman]

Piss on her and her stupid games and go hit on somebody else.

God damn I wish I could be 14 again. I'd walk up to every girl in the goddamn school and be like "Hey wanna make out" until one of them said yes. You only get to be 14 once. Do that shit, for there is no wisdom in the grave. Valar morghulis.

[Shinoyami65]

^Valar dohaeris.

Well, if she wants to play games with your head she ain't worth the trouble.

I've actually never been asked out by anyone when I was 14, although that was probably due more to my aura of crazy than anything else.

[Chuckman]

When I was thirteen I was chatting up this girl in english class and the guy sitting next to me (the teacher was a hippy dippy asshole that had the room set up in a huge circle) looks over my shoulder and shouts "HE WANTS TO GET LAID"

Fuck you, Leon.

[Nuclear Lunchbox]

Heavytread, I'd give you a hug if I could. I know dem feels.

[Monk Ed]

Well, what did you think happened?

I assumed, for one, that you were both SnK fans already and bonded over that. And for another, that there was only one girl you walked away from that con with the contact information of. And for another, that the thread was hot from the con onward, as opposed to going to sleep for months until one day you just contacted her again out of the blue.

[Catamari]

Regardless of how long she waited, if she knew you were hesitant she should've understood.

Shoulda coudla woulda. Women People are complicated beasts.