[Fic] Episode 24+: BAD END [Forever Unfinished]

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[Fic] Episode 24+: BAD END [Forever Unfinished]

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Postby Reichu » Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:51 am

A little scenario I've had in my head for some time, which is, in short, one variation of how episode #24 might go if things played out a little less favorably for our Lilin friends. At SSD's encouragement, I've decided to just vomit the damned thing up. Maybe actually finishing something for once (the entire piece would be rather short by my standards) will help me gain the experience points I need to tackle the ominously long purple-haired monster I've had on my plate forever...

I'm using a bastard screenplay format (crudely based on what the ones for NGE are like, just not in Japanese, not anal about formatting, and with way more asides) and going on the assumption that I have an actual budget and no set time restraints to play with. Divergences from the original script are intentional. (At least... they're supposed to be.) Thoughts/suggestions welcome.

Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here:



Episode #24, Part B: BAD END (Provisional Title)
Section 1, Draft 1.21

-Eva-02 Cage-

Eva-02 stands in her coolant-filled cage, still and silent. From the umbilical bridge, Kaworu gazes upon her intently, hands in pockets.

A close-up of the coolant, rippling placidly. Just barely discernible amidst the atmospheric ambience is a woman’s voice (Kyoko’s) — wholly resigned, impossibly distant.

Voice: “…but it’s all right. Because I have nothing.

Close-up of Kaworu.

Kaworu: “It is time. Let’s go, daughter of Adam… slave of the Lilin.”

Kaworu casually steps off the edge of the bridge towards the Eva’s face. A haze immediately forms around him, and, rather than fall, he hangs in the air, then slowly drifts upward.

Eva-02’s eyes begin to glow, lighting up the four green cameras from behind. The jaws strain briefly, then break open, shards of the restraining bolt flying towards Kaworu — all skimming off an invisible barrier and missing Kaworu completely.

He smiles eerily.

Music start: Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, 4th Mov. - "Presto" (“Ode to Joy”)

-Command Center 2-


Hyuga: “Unauthorized activation of Evangelion Unit 02!”
Misato: “By whom?” (eyes narrow) “That boy?”
Ibuki: “There’s no pilot! The signal terminator plug is still present!”
Misato: “What on Earth…? A berserker?”
Ibuki: “……”
Hyuga: “A.T. Field detected in the cage, as well! Pattern blue! It’s an Angel!!”
Misato: “!!!”
Aoba: “Putting visuals on main screen.”

Everyone on the command tower looks up in anticipation.

-Eva-02 Cage-

Close-up of the back wall. Cross-shaped end first, the signal terminator plug crashes through, as if it had been forcefully ejected.

Kaworu hovers in front of Eva-02. The Eva’s jaws gape open, revealing a purple-pink tongue coated in saliva and disfigured human-like dentition lurking behind the dark olive “teeth”. Her muscles audibly strain against the cage restraints as she leans forward… (View from behind Kaworu, low angle.)

A shadow is cast on Kaworu, and his smile intensifies.

Kaworu: “Our promised day is finally here. One end marks a new beginning.”

A diminutive crunching sound as the massive jaws clamp shut, encasing Kaworu completely. Eyes still aglow, the Eva chews a couple of times, and then, in the manner of a reptile or bird, she throws her head back — casting the morsel into the dark pit of her gullet.

With a contented murmur, she settles back, and the eyes go out.

-Command Center 2-

Everyone watches, utterly stupefied… save for Gendo and Fuyutsuki, who betray no reaction at this moment.

Ibuki: “Eva-02 has deactivated…”
Hyuga: “The Angel’s A.T. Field has disappeared.”

On-screen, Eva-02 is doing nothing.

Ibuki: “No, wait… Eva-02’s core…”

A computer display schematically showing the Eva’s core and the aforementioned “invasion”.

Ibuki (OFF): “It’s being invaded by an unknown element!”

Switch to a display of Eva-02’s “core pulse”, comprised of five separate lines (various shades of red) representing a coordinated cycle. Within the second, we start seeing skips along with pronounced decreases in magnitude. A legend in the corner indicates red for “RESIDENT”, blue for “FOREIGN”.

Ibuki (OFF): “The core pulse… It’s destabilizing!... It’s fading!”

Ibuki quickly turns to the others, looking incredibly upset. We can hear a tone being emitted from her console.

Ibuki: “Eva Unit 02 is—!!”

All five red lines are flat-line (with accompanying tone). A pulse in blue is becoming evident.

Aoba: “A high-energy reaction is being detected inside the core!”
Hyuga: “Blood type is shifting… It’s become pattern blue!!”
Misato: “No…” (Restrained horror.)

-Eva-02 Cage-

Abruptly, Eva-02 rears back, releasing an ear-piercing roar. Then, with one powerful motion, she wrenches her arms out of the side wall restraints and throws her body forward with devastating force, straight through the umbilical bridge and beyond. Odd bits of armor, including the shoulder pylons, remain clinging to the inside of the cage.

Once freed of restrictions in her immediate vicinity, Eva-02 slows down. She starts “looking around”, surveying… (Something about her manner subtly suggests that this is extrasensory.) A low rumble in her throat, she begins to move with slow, deliberate steps.

-Command Center 2-

Fuyutsuki: “Ikari, this can only mean one thing.”
Gendo: “Indeed. Seele have sent the final Angel to us directly.”

-Seele Council Chamber-

The familiar monolithic assembly.

“Tabris and Evangelion Unit 02 have joined. It shouldn’t have been possible, with an already inhabited unit.”
“This goes against our scenario.”
“We were foolish to believe that we could deceive Tabris.”
“Its motives remain clouded, but we cannot take any chances.”
Seele-01 (Kiel): “This is truly Mankind’s final trial. Evangelion Unit 01, we pray that you fulfill your duty.”

-Command Center 2-

Fuyutsuki: “It wasted no time merging with the Eva.” (glances sidewards at Gendo) “One can only guess where it will head next.”

Gendo stands up abruptly and addresses the crew below.

Gendo: “Reclassify Eva-02 as the Seventeenth Angel. Dispatch Eva-01 after it immediately.”
Ibuki: “An Angel?!? But that means…”
Aoba: “Yeah, I know.” (sympathetic) “It’s Eva-03 all over again…”
Hyuga: (sighs) “I guess we weren’t prepared for the Angels taking on human form to get past our defenses — but, at the same time…”

He glances at Misato, and she looks strangely upset — much more so than Ibuki.

Misato: (forcing the words out) “Contact the Third Children and get him to Eva-01’s cage. Hurry!!!”
Ibuki: “Yes, ma’am!”
Fuyutsuki: “Close all partitions in Central Dogma! Have all personnel evacuate immediately!”
Hyuga: “Right!”

-Central Dogma-

Mechanisms in dark chambers activate, and armored shutters close throughout the facility (including the inside of the main shaft). A woman’s voice booms over the Nerv HQ loudspeaker system.

Voice (loudspeakers): “Emergency lockdown in progress. All non-essential personnel in Central Dogma are to evacuate to the surface immediately. Repeat, emergency lockdown. All non-essential personnel in Central Dogma are to evacuate to the surface immediately.”

Misato (OFF): “Status of the Angel?”

Just as a set of armored shutters is almost done closing, something (one of Eva-02’s feet) bursts through it with great force, sending debris everywhere.

-Command Center 2-

Aoba (OFF): “Eva-02… no, the Angel is breaking through the facilities adjacent to the Cage complex.” (bleeds over to…)

-Central Dogma-

Destruction.

Eva-02, eyes glowing and jaws slightly agape, breaks through the infrastructure, from one facility into another, heading towards some unknown destination. Only brute force is employed at this time. We can see people fleeing, people dying in the chaos…

-Command Center 2-

Aoba spins around dramatically.

Aoba: “It’s heading straight here!”

Misato stares back at him in horror, then quickly forces herself back into reality.

Misato: “Evacuate the Command Center! Hurry!”

Hyuga wastes no time making the announcement.

Hyuga: “All personnel evacuate!”

Higher up on the command tower, Gendo and Fuyutsuki finally stir.

Fuyutsuki: “That doesn’t give us much time, does it?”
Hyuga (loudspeakers): “Repeat, all personnel evacuate!”

The operators on the lower decks promptly begin to abandon their positions.

Aoba rises from his own computer console.

Aoba: (grumbling) “We don’t have any spare Command Centers after this… Let’s get the hell out of here!”

The room starts to shake with an increasing intensity. Misato and the operators — Ibuki clinging to her cat cushion — dash out of one of the exits.

Fuyutsuki gets on the lift, but Gendo — although having risen from his desk — is in no hurry to join him.

Fuyutsuki: “Ikari, what are you waiting for?!?”

Gendo stands there with his right hand in his pocket, wearing a smile both relaxed and resigned.

Gendo: “Fuyutsuki-sensei… I leave the rest to the two of you.”

At that moment, something breaks through the back wall of the Command Center — a giant fist. Debris flies across the room and crashes heavily into the main screen. The fist unfurls, and long fingers wrapped in grey reach for the top of the command tower.

A close-up of Gendo’s face, with the giant, rapidly-approaching hand reflected in his glasses. His expression is indiscernible.

-Corridor in Central Dogma-

Misato and the others stand together in a dark corridor, the most obvious hope for escape smothered by a collapsed ceiling. There’s no way to get through.

Hyuga: “In other words, we have to go back…”
Aoba: “…if there’s anything to return to.”

Misato clenches her fists. A moment later, the trembling of the infrastructure — frighteningly close-by — begins again. Only… it’s going back in the direction from which it came.

Misato: “It’s leaving? The hell…?”

She spins around and moves with a purpose.

-Command Center 2-

The automatic door whooshes open. A first glimpse indicates that a large section of the main screen is damaged, but everything on their level of the command tower seems intact, despite some bits of fallen debris. Then she squints her eyes, spotting something on the surface of the screen itself…

A short trail of blood, created by what looks like a body sliding slowly against the wall — as though it had been flicked there, like some kind of bug. A big chunk of the body seems to be missing, including one of the arms. She gasps in realization, nearly in unison with Ibuki’s feeble retching.

Misato: “Commander Ikari?!?”

-Central Dogma, Main Shaft Interior-

A giant explosion blows the inside of the shaft open, and a massive form moves through the gap with a swift, uncanny grace. Four glowing green orbs are clearly discernible through the smoke.

The vast, open shaft. Eva-02 begins to descend. Close-ups of her right hand and exposed teeth flash by — stained with fresh blood.

-Command Center 2-

Aoba and Hyuga immediately resume their positions. It doesn’t take too much keyboard work before Hyuga’s face contorts in frustration.

Hyuga: “Ugh… This is going to be hard without the integrated analysis team.”
Aoba: (dryly) “You don’t suppose they would respond to a call-back?”
Misato: “We’re not completely paralyzed without them, are we?”
Hyuga: “Not completely, but… Well, you know. The rest of the staff isn’t just for show…”
Aoba: “Yeah. I think they do more work than we do.”

Misato clicks her tongue. Both of the operators’ fingers and eyes move at the speed of sound.

Misato: “Do your best.”
Aoba: “We’ll need Lt. Ibuki for that.”

Aoba, eyes still glued to his screen, indicates a direction with a jerk of his head. It’s Ibuki, sitting not far from the exit, back to the wall, face buried in her pink cushion. Misato frowns and walks over to her.

Misato: “Ibuki-kun… This isn’t the time. We need you right now.”

Ibuki simply quivers and shakes her head. Misato knits her brow.

Misato: “You’re an adult with a job to do. Come on!”

Without hesitation, she yanks Ibuki up from under the arm and pulls the woman back to her post. Maya stares at her keyboard indignantly, but Misato lets it go for now.

Misato: “Where’s the Angel now?”
Aoba: “It’s currently descending the main shaft towards Terminal Dogma.”
Misato: “Tch… Those barriers won’t last long, either, will they?”

-Main Shaft-

Close-up of Eva-02’s face. The eye pieces light up, cross-shaped halations emanating forth.

A blinding pillar of energy zooms down through the shaft, breaking through one barrier after another effortlessly, and continuing onward as far as we can see.

-Command Center 2-

Hyuga: “All barriers breached at once! Incredible!!”
Aoba: “This is bad…”

Misato curses under her breath. The second exit opens up behind them, and Fuyutsuki appears, his normally immaculate uniform covered in dust, grime, and the intermittent rip. He looks like he went through a bit of trouble to get back to the Command Center.

Ibuki: (relieved) “Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki… You’re alive…”
Misato: “Vice-Commander… What happened to Commander Ikari?”
Fuyutsuki: “Forget about that. What about Eva-01? Where is the pilot?”
Ibuki: “Um…” (engages her console) “Currently in Cage 7, preparing for synchronization.”

-Cage 7-

Brief establishing shot of Eva-01 in the cage, with all coolant drained. Fade over to Shinji seated in the entry plug interior.

Misato (radio): “Shinji-kun, there isn’t much time. An Angel has infiltrated Nerv Headquarters. We need you to intercept it before it reaches Terminal Dogma.”
Shinji: “Just me? Won’t Kaworu-kun be going in Eva-02?”
Misato (radio): “…… We haven’t been able to locate him. You’re up against this alone. I’m sorry. That’s just how it is…”

Silent, Shinji enters the synchronization process.

-Command Center 2-

Misato takes a brief moment to think to herself (for our benefit, of course).

Misato (MONO): “Was it right of me to lie to him like that? Should I have just told him?” (frowns) “That boy was an Angel all along… I shouldn’t be surprised. Maybe… I just didn’t want it to be true.”

Meanwhile, the operators are jabbering in the background about the status of the evacuation, the Angel, and Eva-01.

-Central Dogma-

Eva-01 on a rapidly descending lift. It comes to an abrupt stop, and the Eva jolts sharply. The safety devices release in swift succession.

Talking throughout:

Misato (radio): “Shinji-kun, you’ll be on limited power for the descent. If the Angel isn’t stopped by the time you reach bottom, there are power outlets in Terminal Dogma.”

-Entry Plug Interior-

Close-up of Shinji, with a determined look on his face.

Shinji: “Right.”

-Central Dogma-

The power supply releases last. Insert of screen showing the switch to internal power.

Eva-01 turns to move down a narrow passage (a la episode 11, albeit slightly more roomy), and the armored shutter at the end opens remotely.

Ibuki (radio): “It’s a long drop to Terminal Dogma, Shinji-kun. Make sure you control your descent with your A.T. Field, especially toward the end.”

Eva-01 throws herself into the unknown.

-Command Center 2-

Aoba: “Target directly below Eva Unit 01.”

-Main Shaft-

The entry plug interior’s screens, oriented downwards, show a rather familiar-looking silhouette rapidly “approaching”.

Shinji: “Is that…?”

Eva-02 looks up. Somehow… she seems to be smiling. She emits a deep hum suggesting pleasure at this development.

Shinji: “That’s the Angel? But this is…”

Shinji’s expression twists into one of mixed anxiety and anger.

Misato (radio): “It’s okay, Shinji-kun. This isn’t the same as last time. There’s no pilot inside.”
Shinji: “?!?”
Misato (radio): “That’s not Eva-02 anymore. It’s been corrupted by an Angel, like Eva-03 was. You can’t hesitate, Shinji-kun. Everything is at stake.”
Shinji: “……”

Eva-01 “boosts” down (A.T. Field blur is visible), becoming level with Eva-02. The latter is certainly not the Eva with whom Shinji is familiar, given her current “berserk” state.

Shinji: “‘No longer Eva-02’…?”

Eva-02’s poise, while generally neutral, relays the sense that something incredibly threatening is lurking beneath, just barely being contained, ready to burst out at any moment. Her mouth hangs open slightly, and thick saliva seeps slowly down the sides. The eyes are still glowing, but they flicker intermittently.

Misato (radio): (tinge of impatience) “Shinji-kun!”
Shinji: “R-right!”

Eva-01’s left pylon opens and releases the progressive knife.

Shinji: “Asuka, I’m sorry!”

Eva-01 brandishes the knife and rather halfheartedly attempts to strike her opponent. Eva-02 simply grabs the other Eva’s wrist and twists the arm into a painful-looking position. Eva-01 reflexively releases the weapon. It drops down the shaft and out of sight.

Shinji: (pain and frustration) “Urgh!”

Then, Eva-02 gets right in Eva-01’s face, and a vaguely familiar — however creepily distorted — voice appears.

Voice: “I’ve been waiting. For both of you.

Shinji: (freaked out) “What?!”
Misato (radio): “What’s the matter, Shinji-kun?”
Shinji: “……”

Close-up of Eva-02, looking incredibly sinister.

Voice: “You’ve been living in darkness, Lilin child. We both have. It’s time to restore the light. I will show you the truth.

Then, suddenly, the lights behind the four green cameras go out completely. Rapid zoom-in/blur, and…

Blur over to a rather vague, clearly metaphysical image of the Adam embryo (well-lit) lying somewhere dark and suggestively organic. After a moment, the embryo sinks into its surroundings — kind of spreading itself out as it seamlessly fuses. The dark quickly turns to light, filling the screen with white. (This brief sequence occurs in complete silence. The music resumes immediately after.)

Blur back. Eva-02 cries out sharply, as if in pain — or is it something else?

Close-up of Eva-02’s chest. The bottom of the chest plate creaks with a force pushing up against it from beneath. An intense red glow peeks out through the juncture.

-Command Center 2-

Monitor display showing what looks like a DNA molecule with some unseen force running down its length, making occasional alterations to the base pair sequence. The text in one corner reads, “EVA-02: CHROMOSOME 12 (DETAIL) / GENETIC PATTERN UNDERGOING TRANSFIGURATION”. The screen shifts after a moment to contrast “before” with “after” and indicate points of divergence.

Hyuga: “Eva-02’s genetic pattern is being rewritten! Alterations appear to be minimal, however…”
Aoba: “What the hell is going on?”

-Main Shaft-

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “So, it’s finally reincorporated the fragment.”

Eva-02’s neck muscles begin to bulge and twitch, and her head arches back. The allusion is somewhat erotic, aided by the accompanying low murmurs. (Also evokes Eva-02’s peculiar gesticulations while being probed by Arael.)

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “Now the imperfect copy made by Man becomes little more than raw material for the reconstruction of the original.”

The armor pieces covering the face and jaw start to rattle slightly, as if possessed, and there’s perhaps the anticipation that Eva-02’s helmet will “pop open” as it has in the past… but, instead, these sections violently “flash” out of existence with a weird popping sound. (The implication being that they’ve been “vaporized” in some manner.) The angle of Eva-02’s head at the end of the cut precludes a good look at the now-exposed face.

-Command Center 2-

Ibuki: (disbelief) “…… What are you saying, Vice Commander?”

-Main Shaft-

Shinji simply watches with an appalled fascination. Eva-01’s remaining power, meanwhile, continues to tick down.

The Angel brings her face back down — and, immediately, we know it’s not what we were expecting. For one thing… there are only two eyes. Two piercing, blood-red eyes. (Red iris on white sclera.) The complexion is pale, as well — the same color as Kaworu’s, much paler than what we’ve seen from the Evas. A marking resembling Sachiel’s first face is prominent on the forehead. The eyes, initially dilated (with three auxiliary pupils apparent), visibly contract as they focus upon Eva-01.

Shinji: “An Angel? But…”

Shinji immediately has an ephemeral flashback to his glimpse of Eva-01’s face. (The shots in question have been redrawn so that Eva-01 actually looks like an Eva and not some weird mutant cyborg porpoise thing.)

This flows over to a similarly-posed shot of Eva-01’s (covered) face, the walls of the central shaft rapidly panning past her in the background, which lingers long enough to give the sense that she’s beholding whatever she’s seeing (and to establish a false sense of security). An aura is barely visible on the edge of the screen she’s facing.

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “The first human being on Earth… the First Angel… was destroyed fifteen years ago…”

Same shot, an arm aggressively enters the frame and Eva-01’s head is pushed back into the wall. As this happens, the familiar gold and black material dissolves off — visually suggesting consumption by fire — exposing the pale skin below. The last thing on the arm to dissolve is “EVA-02” (actually incorporated into the animation this time, just for the sake of this morbid touch).

Rapidly followed by a front angle close-up of Eva-01’s face with the Angel’s hand pressed up onto it, fingers splayed and claw-like. The grey “glove” vanishes. The “knuckle dusters”, which are visibly bolted to the skin, shift around briefly — as the armor on the face had — before “popping” into nonexistence. Sparks and pieces of shaft wall fly out from behind Eva-01.

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “…but now, right here, it is being reborn.”

Pan up the Angel’s torso. All of Eva-02’s remaining armor is becoming white-hot and shuddering with instability. One after another, the torso plates — and presumably anything beneath them — burst into nothingness, exposing a slender yet muscular body. (Note: There are no evident genitals, though this isn’t just because of Japanese censorship laws for once.) Finally, the core and pectorals are exposed, followed directly by a close-up of the core, red and radiant.

-Command Center 2-

Misato: “First Angel?!? Adam? But—”

Quick inserts of Kaji showing her “Adam” (Lilith) in episode 15. Misato frowns deeply.

Misato (MONO): “Just what is going on?”



TO BE CONTINUED (when I finish writing the next chunk)



Notes:

- Deciding which of the three operators gets to shout a particular line is (usually) a bitch. I just thought you might like to know.

- I dunno if the armor "flashing" out is the right way to go. There are a few different ways this could be handled. I kind of like the spasming and rattling part, though.

- Should Misato know the truth about “Adam” by now because of Kaji’s magic pill? I wasn’t sure about this, so right now I’m taking the route that she hasn’t finished doing her homework.

-Before anybody says it...
SPOILER: Show
The notion that a soul / spiritual energy can be moved around by ingesting the vessel is a very ancient trope. That said, I’ve fantasized about Kaworu “merging” with Eva-02 by getting eaten for quite a long time. (You can see me express related whimsies in “Eva-01 eating Gendo” discussions.) Zeruel munching on Eva-00 in 2.0 played no part in any of this. The "DNA transfiguration" and "pattern shifting" bits were also committed to paper eons ago and were not influenced by 2.0 in any way. So sorry. :tongue:
Last edited by Reichu on Fri Aug 28, 2009 6:35 am, edited 14 times in total.

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Postby UrsusArctos » Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:26 am

This is GOOOOOOOOD. Me approves! ^_^
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Postby NemZ » Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:40 pm

I hate the script format (always have... personal peeve of mine), but the content of this altered scenario is quite interesting so far.

Poor Gendo... :(
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Postby Sammaeloo » Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:49 pm

This is great, can't wait till the battle really begins.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sat Jul 11, 2009 1:06 pm

Needs MOAR. Glad you were able to have Gendo's final line be about Yui and Fuyu.

Good job so far. ^_^
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Re: Episode 24: BAD END (Fanfic Short)

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Postby felineki » Sat Jul 11, 2009 1:43 pm

Reichu wrote:(The shot(s) in question has/ve been redrawn so that Eva-01 actually looks like an Eva and not some weird mutant cyborg porpoise thing.)
That bit gave me a good laugh. :grin: Very interesting so far, looking forward to reading the next part.

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Postby Reichu » Sat Jul 11, 2009 4:17 pm

NemZ wrote:I hate the script format (always have... personal peeve of mine)

Well, thanks to you and BobBQ, I'm going to reformat everything into standard prose, despite the fact that my brain wants it to be a phony Eva episode screenplay. I must eliminate these new feelings of anxiety and insecurity. Stay tuned...

Poor Gendo... :(

Getting chomped by an Eva is always a great way to go.

@Sammaeloo: I'm kind of curious about how the battle is going to play out myself... "BAD END" suggests the eventual outcome, but it doesn't give me a lot of pointers about how to get there.

@SSD: Your suggestion made filling in Gendo's last line go a lot faster. Thanks for that.

Thanks for the feedback so far, all.

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Postby UrsusArctos » Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:46 pm

Reichu wrote:Well, thanks to you and BobBQ, I'm going to reformat everything into standard prose, despite the fact that my brain wants it to be a phony Eva episode screenplay.


I think it's the opposite- the phony episode screenplay is a magnificent storytelling touch. I appreciate it!
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Postby Reichu » Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:27 pm

UrsusArctos wrote:I think it's the opposite- the phony episode screenplay is a magnificent storytelling touch. I appreciate it!

Well, alright, then... Due to my remarkable confusion, I'll just, uh, keep doing what I'm doing, and maybe do an alternate version in normal prose when I'm finished if it gets more people to read. Yeah...

Next section, not nearly as long, since this is getting increasingly difficult.

Section 2, Draft 2.11

-Main Shaft-

As this “liberation” continues, the strangeness only escalates: the entity speaks out loud.

Adam: “<Yes… I am what you Lilin call an ‘Angel’. But you know, don’t you?>”

The voice is uncanny, otherworldly… and it uses no identifiable form of language. Somehow, though, Shinji can understand it. And it possesses the same shadowy familiarity as what he “heard” earlier.

[Note: Certain phonemes must be excluded as a result of Adam’s lip structure. Combine the low, guttural voice with fairly “inoffensive” sounds overall? Give the rhythm of the speech an almost “musical” feel.]

A close-up of Adam’s back, which is completely bare now save for the section of exposed artificial vertebrae characteristic of Evas. We can see that Adam is pushing Eva-01 against the wall of the shaft with all four limbs — but not with enough force to stop their descent. Eva-01, like her pilot, is doing absolutely nothing.

Adam: “<Eva is precisely the same thing. An intentional imitation… An Adam made by the Lilin.>”

Shinji, pushed back in his seat (vicarious effect) with gaping, quivering eyes. The time limit continues to tick down.

Shinji: (quiet, withdrawn) “…… That’s right… That’s what Ritsuko-san—”

Adam’s back begins to twitch, and the vertebrae start to pop out, one after another. Cut to the emptiness below the “combatants”, as the vertebrae plummet in succession. After a brief interim, a bulky cylindrical device (entry system) follows.

Adam: “<The Eva series. Angels born in enslavement to slay other Angels. Created as the protectors and servants of beings who regard them with little more than fear and contempt…>”

Close-up of one of Adam’s eyes. The pupil constricts to a pin point. The eye starts to swell, pushing the eyelids back... and it “glows” with a sheer darkness.

Adam: “<No irony is too great for Lilin. And you, Shinji Ikari… you serve as a willing and unquestioning accomplice in all this.>”

Shinji: “!!”

Adam suddenly brings her face right up to one of Eva-01’s “cheek vents” (which covers the Eva’s aural orifice).

Adam: “…… <Shinji… Do you remember that boy?>”

Shinji abruptly snaps out of his paralysis. Eva-01 pushes Adam away with both feet and finally escapes from the wall, returning to a freefall.

Shinji: “‘Boy’? Kaworu-kun? You don’t mean Kaworu-kun?”

Adam’s face — her eyes like vast, empty sockets — stares back ominously.

Adam: “<Do you know what he was, Shinji? Do you know why he was… different?>”

Adam and Eva-01 opposing one another in the giant shaft. The full-length view of Adam confirms what we pretty much already knew: every last mark of Eva-02’s servitude is gone; the ashen giant is pure. Eva-01 is “silent”, her body tense.

Misato (radio): “Shinji-kun! What the hell are you doing? Even though you’ve lost your progressive knife, you can still try to damage the core!”

Shinji: (earnest) “Misato-san… Is there something about Kaworu-kun that I should know?”

-Command Center 2-

Misato’s face is apprehensive.

Misato: “……”

-Main Shaft-

Misato (radio): “Shinji-kun… The boy called Kaworu Nagisa… The Fifth Children… He was…”

Close-up of Adam. Her face lowers slightly, and her upper lip raises to expose a sliver of teeth. (These are much more ‘anatomy textbook’ than Eva-02’s orthodontic hell.)

Misato (radio): “He was… what took over Eva-02…”

Zoom-in on Shinji’s reaction.

Shinji: “Kaworu-kun?!? … Kaworu-kun was an Angel?!?”

Shinji looks up at the interior monitor display, at the patiently waiting Adam. One of Shinji’s fists curl tightly, and he pounds the top of the induction lever in unrestrained anger.

Shinji: “No! That’s a lie!!”

Misato (radio): (rueful) “Forgive me, Shinji-kun… I should have just told you earlier, but… you’re the only one we have now… You can’t let hesitation get the best of you. If you can’t stop the Angel, our final option will be to—”

Misato doesn’t seem to want to say the rest, as though it’ll be some kind of jinx. Shinji’s brow is deeply furrowed.

Misato (radio): “…… I hope it doesn’t come to that, but…”

-Command Center 2-

Misato: (completing transmission) “At least the rest of humanity will be saved.”

Fuyutsuki muses aloud idly.

Fuyutsuki: “Hmm… I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Everyone turns to look at Fuyutsuki in unison.

Ibuki: “Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, what do you mean?”
Fuyutsuki: “Destroying this facility could ultimately play right into the Angel’s… Adam’s… plans.”

-Main Shaft-

Shinji: (very agitated) “Kaworu-kun! Are you in there? Did you do this?!?”

Eva-01’s fist goes flying at Adam’s core, but the giant dodges it easily. She drops her wrist down sharply on the back of Eva-01’s head, straight through the gap in the frill-like protuberances.

Adam: (borderline derisive) “<‘Kaworu-kun’?>”

Shinji clutches the back of his head and screams with rage. Eva-01 spins around and rushes at Adam again — but Shinji is being sloppy. Adam catches both punches with veritable ease.

Adam: “<Kaworu Nagisa was never a true person in the first place.>”

Eva-01 struggles to break out of Adam’s crushing grip, and the two begin to grapple. Adam seems to relish this moment of holding the Eva “captive”.

Adam: “<Nothing but a false vessel — a prison for a soul that belonged somewhere else.>”

Shinji’s face has briefly lost most of its intensity.

Shinji: “Who are you?? Are you really—?”

Adam: “<What you see is what I truly am, Shinji. What I should have always been. The misery of my days among your kind has ended… I’ve returned to my origins.>”

Shinji: “So it’s true…? You were one of them all along? And now…”

Adam simply stares back. It almost looks like she’s leering.

Shinji’s expression distorts once again with an impotent rage. He’s been given no actual proof that the being before him contains what he knew as Kaworu — but it is so frighteningly compelling, he cannot possibly reject it. And it is also so mind-bending, he has no idea how to cope.

Shinji: “You betrayed me! You don’t care about me or my feelings! You never did!”

Eva-01 tries to kick out at Adam, but Adam — always one step ahead — draws her own legs up between her arms. One foot strikes out at Eva-01’s face, so quick that it registers as a blur. As the Eva’s face whips towards her left shoulder, the helmet's dislodged front facial piece goes flying.

Shinji clutches his face, groaning. Some sections of the interior screen are out, each marked with the message in red text, “MAIN CAMERA [numeral] LOST. ATTEMPTING TO RESTORE INTEGRATED VIEW WITH BACKUP”.

Adam (OFF): “<How can you say that of me, Shinji Ikari… when you never showed an iota of genuine interest in my person?>”

Shinji gasps — his own folly is becoming evident.

Adam and the Eva, falling together, clutching each other’s hands fiercely. Eva-01’s own face is now exposed (as per episode 02). Rather unlike Adam — and sharply contrasting with her pilot as well — the Eva’s face is devoid of expression (artifact of pilot control system), to creepy effect.

Adam: “<I made no attempt to hide or deceive. The only reason you are surprised now is because who I was didn’t matter to you.>”

Close-up of Adam. Red “laser pointers” appear in her eyes (though these seem to be a sign of emotional arousal, rather than indicating some impending energy discharge).

Adam: “<Indeed… To you, it doesn’t matter who. Anyone will suffice… Anyone who seems ‘safe’.>”

Shinji: “No!”

Eva-01 breaks away from Adam again in another “inspired outburst”.

Shinji: “You’re wrong! I really cared about him!”

Adam does not seem amused. The red points of light remain.

Shinji is visibly in tears.

Shinji: “I just thought… I thought you were happy listening to me… so… so…”

One of Adam’s hands. The long, powerful fingers stretch out and coil up.

Adam: “<My time with you was nothing but further confirmation of Kaworu Nagisa’s true reason for being: not as an individual with feelings and aspirations, but as an instrument existing solely for the satisfaction of others.>”

Shinji: “You said that you loved me!!!”

Adam: “<‘Love’, from a complete and utter stranger? You were foolish enough to accept it without a thought. You could have asked me anything. Anything at all. But nobody else matters. Only you, Shinji Ikari. There’s nothing admirable about you. You are exactly as you always feared.>”


Notes:

- The brackets ( < > ) are just used to signify that Adam is speaking a different language from everybody else. Not like you really needed me to tell you that. This is stolen from Megatokyo (probably one of the only things I remember from the very little I read).
- For Adam and Eva-01's, uh, "fight"... Is there more “cool stuff” that Adam could be doing during this section? ATF voodoo is intentionally being saved for later; right now, the idea is that she's slapping Shinji around a little while he totally fails to register any attacks. I'm very much open to suggestions about the action that takes place here.
- When Adam’s eye is shown going into “intense mode”, I considered having the pupil expand to “consume” the whole eye. But that, though it would look really cool, would also be kind of dumb and would make the notion of somebody’s eyes turning completely black even less explicable.
Last edited by Reichu on Wed Jul 22, 2009 3:14 pm, edited 6 times in total.

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Postby NemZ » Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:46 pm

I never said you should redo it... I'm just bitching. It's sorta my thing. ^_^

Adam 2 giving Shinji a serving of guilt was interesting... though it's really weird that Kaworu is being referred to in the 3rd person by himself. ...unless Adam =/= Kaworu? Hmm.

I don't really see the point in repeating a short scene with no changes, though. Better to just let the readers assume that unless it is shown to be different it's the same.
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Postby Reichu » Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:14 pm

NemZ wrote:Adam 2 giving Shinji a serving of guilt was interesting...

"You think THAT'S bad?..."

though it's really weird that Kaworu is being referred to in the 3rd person by himself. ...unless Adam =/= Kaworu? Hmm.

Hopefully additional dialogue will put it in perspective. ...hopefully.

@Misato/Hyuga scene: It felt weird not having it there at all, but I couldn't think of how I might "improve" upon it... so I just opted to include it despite it being essentially the same. Right after posting, it occurred to me that the two of them discussing the self-destruct without consulting Fuyutsuki (their superior) made no sense. (At least... not to me.) Expect some changes soon...

:goes back to wrestling with words:

EDIT: Okay. I haven't fixed the sequence mentioning the self-destruct yet, but I did plop a bit of new stuff onto the end. :devil:

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Postby NemZ » Sun Jul 12, 2009 1:03 am

Reichu wrote:"You think THAT'S bad?..."


:mwahaha:

Heh, that extra bit at the end was just delicious. I'm actually still grinning.

So what now, Shinji... curl up in a ball somewhere and wait to die or get all GAR and kick this pale bastard back out of the geofront? Yeah, probably not the later.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:31 am

That bit at the end was really good. Let's see how this plays out... :smirk:
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Postby BrikHaus » Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:40 am

Needs more Zugzwang.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:05 pm

Reichu: Though you're saying this is a "bad end", could it be a bad end with SOME form of hope? Say, Rei 3 or even Yui doing some...thing to allow the souls of everybody at Nerv to live on in some fashion? Just a thought.

I love what you're doing with this so far, the Adam and Shinji exchange reminds me of something you once talked about in Discussion I think it was.

Keep up the great work! :asuka_thumbsup:
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Postby Reichu » Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:18 pm

Alright... Both sections have been revised. In section 1, the most noticeable changes should be the Command Center scenes (I fixed some stuff that was bothering me). Section 2 now has the replacement for Misato and Hyuga's touching little scene; if it seems short, don't worry, it gets reprised in the next section.

Does it seem odd to anyone that none of the bridge crew think it's weird that Adam talks? Hmmmmmm...

BrikHaus wrote:Needs more Zugzwang.

:hahaha:

The "Adam ripping Shinji a new one" stuff was a bit of a gamble on my part (as if, you know, Eva-02 eating Kaworu and some of Gendo wasn't enough), so the reactions thus far are relieving. Well... I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by NemZ's. :tongue: The "mwahaha" gave me a great sense of... satisfaction.

SSD wrote:Though you're saying this is a "bad end", could it be a bad end with SOME form of hope? Say, Rei 3 or even Yui doing some...thing to allow the souls of everybody at Nerv to live on in some fashion? Just a thought.

Hmm, well... Part of the challenge I've set for myself is to make this as sadomasochistically sick and devastating as possible. "Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here" is the general idea. The scenario precludes hope. We know who's going to win -- we just don't know how. (Hell, even I don't know how yet.)

So, IMO, for our purposes, giving the "good guys" some way out of utter oblivion will cheapen the overall deal. Though, something along the lines of what you propose could always be the Alternate "Hollywood" Ending.

the Adam and Shinji exchange reminds me of something you once talked about in Discussion I think it was.

Can you remember anything more specific? Now I'm kind of curious. (Was it about the fact that Kaworu and Shinji's relationship was so deplorably one-sided?)

Deconstructing the romantic (=idealized) notion of Kaworu is certainly great fun.

UrsusArctos wrote:Let's see how this plays out...

Should be interesting.

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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:38 pm

Reichu wrote:(Was it about the fact that Kaworu and Shinji's relationship was so deplorably one-sided?)


Yeah, it was that, I just don't recall too much of the specifics.

And no hope whatsoever works, I was just curious on how you'd do this.
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Postby Merridian » Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:20 pm

Reichu wrote:Fuyutsuki: “Hmm… I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”


This is perfect. It fits his whole style of "I'll give you just enough information to be shitting your pants with fear long after the data could have done you any good whatsoever." That's awesome.

Reichu wrote: the entity speaks out loud.


:headscratch:
Ah... I don't know how I feel about a talking AdamUnit02. If Adam MARK II is as powerful as the original, what's stopping him/her/it from just broadcasting directly into Shinji's mind? My problem is this: a talking Evangelion reminds me too much of a wrathful Mister Ed. Maybe it's just because I'm having trouble envisioning the voice you had in mind, but it seems to me that the whole interchange would be easier with some allegorical mindrape sequences (accompanied by necessary V.O. explanations) interspersed with a few shots of bare-knuckle Eva beatdowns.

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Postby Reichu » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:04 am

@Merridian: Yeah, I wasn't sure if Adam talking would fly with everyone. It would be very easy to mess up the execution, though I've always wanted to see it "done right". They basically have human voices already (the roars and such are just human vocalizations that have been processed), so why shouldn't they be able to speak?

As for why a god would bother to talk out loud (in addition to projecting the message "telepathically") -- it probably goes against most people's expectations, but there is a sort of hidden logic behind it. (So I hope, anyway.)

If something ends up really not working, it can always be reworked. Thanks for the suggestion. In fact, it might come in handy for something yet to come... (Nay, not in my edit.)

EDIT: And... here's a little more. Not my preferred choice of places to leave off, but... I have my reasons.


Section 3, Draft 1.1


-Command Center 2-

Misato: “So, the giant in Terminal Dogma… It never was Adam. Then… what have you been keeping down there?”

Fuyutsuki, standing in his usual way, simply looks straight ahead calmly.

Cut over to Lilith in Heaven’s Door, hanging on the cross and bleeding from that special place. Pan up slowly.

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “That is the Second Angel… Lilith, the being from whom Mankind and all other life on this world was born — save the fallen Angels.”

Several stacked concentric circular ledges line the ceiling overhead, gradually widening from bottom to top. Shadows obscure whatever lay in the very center. A tiny figure (Rei) stands precariously on the bottom-most ledge, facing Lilith’s direction, looking down.

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “We are in fact Angels ourselves… the Lilin, antithesis of Adam’s children.”

High angle view of Lilith on the cross, from Rei’s vantage point.

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “Lilith’s body is the key to our salvation…”

Close-up of Rei. Her expression is ambiguous.

Fuyutsuki (OFF): “…but it has no soul.”

-Command Center 2-

Misato and the three operators simply stare at Fuyutsuki in sheer stupefaction.

Fuyutsuki, unbothered, glances at the main screen, where a schematic of the Eva and Angel’s positions in the shaft is displayed (with parts of the image missing due to the damage).

Fuyutsuki: “It seems they’re just about there.”

-Main Shaft-

Shinji’s feeble tantrum rages on.

Shinji: “Stop, Kaworu-kun! Make it stop! I can’t take any more of this!!!”

Adam, looking truly frightening. She draws her arm back and tension pours into the muscle; her fist finally springs forward and fills the screen. (The red dots in her eyes “flash” as she says “Kaworu-kun”.)

Adam: “<There is no ‘Kaworu-kun’. Only me.>”

Eva-01 pulls her head back in futility. Adam lands a rather painful-looking strike on the front of the Eva’s face, and one can really feel the force sink deep. An unpleasant sound accompanies the decimation of delicate nasal bones and a fractured maxilla. Blood immediately starts to escape in thick gobs. Eva-01’s expression doesn’t change, despite the beating; the green eyes stare out at nothing.

Adam: “<Does Eva frighten you?>”

Adam retracts her bloodied fist, and the still-clean one now gets a turn.

Adam: “<Does this face frighten you?>”

Eva-01 merely reorients her head in time for Adam to strike it again, this time around the right cheek. Adam’s fist breaks straight through the armor. A tooth that had been loosened by the first hit is knocked out of socket by the impact.

Adam: “<If it doesn’t look ‘human’…>”

Shinji cowering in the entry plug, clutching his nose with one hand (blood is faintly discernible) and his right cheek with the other.

Adam (OFF): “<…does it stop being ‘human’?>”

Eva-01 gets an uppercut this time. Apparently as intended, the mandible piece is knocked clean off.

Adam: “<Can it be killed with a clean conscience?>”

Shinji: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kaworu-kun!!”

Eva-01 makes one final, pitiable attempt at an attack. [Not sure what. Another punch sounds boring…] Adam doesn’t even seem to try intercepting it, as though it had no chance of contacting in the first place. She simply wraps her whole body around Eva-01, in some kind of restraining grip — though, in many ways, it resembles an embrace.

Adam: (quiet, cold, resolute) “…… <I think you do.>”

Insert of the countdown. [Where should it be by now? Hmm…]

-Command Center 2-

Aoba: “Both targets have reached Terminal Dogma. About to enter the Rotunda.”

-Main Shaft —> Terminal Dogma: The Rotunda-

Darkness — the bottom of the shaft. Shot from above of a portal opening up with the organic motion of a dilating pupil. Various small objects (prog knife, vertebrae, entry system, helmet parts) can be seen dropping out of sight. Adam and Eva-01 (the latter still restrained) enter the frame and pass through the portal.

A gigantic domed chamber. The ceiling is adorned with a “mural” of red space (as in, the place where souls originate). (The image isn’t stationary, however; it drifts nebulously across the wall.) Directly beneath the portal, there is what seems to be a deep-underground lake, framed by tall white “pillars of salt”. Beyond this, additional structure sprawls out, vaguely evoking the image of an archaic garden [give this some more thought].

The portal closes up behind the two giants. They fall down — mere insects — and land in the lake. A massive geyser of water (or water-like fluid) gushes up. At this distance, the ground appears to shake only slightly.

Shinji, thrown back in the plug seat, braces himself for the duration of the impact. Once the shaking stop, he quickly looks up.

Eva-01’s interior screens indicate complete submersion. Adam is pinning the Eva to lake bottom.

Misato (radio): “There’s no time, Shinji-kun! Get out of there before the B-Type Equipment kicks in! You need to connect to a power source!”

Shinji grits his teeth with obvious effort. Eva-01 kicks off (?) Adam and, a couple of broad arm strokes later, finds her feet and makes a mad, however awkward, dash through the water in a direction indicated on the interior screen.

The timer is ticking, ticking… Forty-five seconds…

Adam slowly rises to her feet, water flowing off her pale form. Her eyes revert to normal as she looks off in Eva-01’s direction.

-Command Center 2-

Computer display showing Eva-01’s current position relative to the power junction, projecting the time remaining before Eva-01 reaches it given her current speed — contrasted somewhat unfavorably with the active time remaining.

Ibuki: “Forty seconds of active power remaining! At this rate, Shinji-kun won’t—”

-Rotunda-

Eva-01 breaking foot-first through a pillar of salt. As its structure collapses, the salt from above showers over her.

Low-angle oblique shot from behind Eva-01 as her foot enters the foreground and hits the ground. She immediately breaks out in a run, entering the obstacle-infested “garden”.

-Command Center 2-

Misato: “If he won’t make it in time, we have only one option.”

Misato gives Fuyutsuki a rather decisive look.

Misato: “Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, we must release the seal on Eva-01’s S² Engine!”
Ibuki: (admonishing) “Major Katsuragi!”

Misato looks over her shoulder at Ibuki, then Hyuga.

Hyuga: “Might be a bad idea. This whole region of Japan could end up just like the Second Branch.”

Ibuki leans forward emphatically.

Ibuki: “That’s right! No tests have ever been done with Eva-01’s S² Engine. The risk is too great!”

Misato looks at the countdown with anxious eyes. We can see the timer through the reverse side of Ibuki’s holographic screen. It hits the ten second mark.

-Rotunda-

Eva-01 running around (occasionally through) and jumping over obstacles as swiftly and gracefully as possible… From within the cockpit, Shinji scans the labyrinthine environs frantically.

Shinji: “Where the heck is it??”

-Command Center 2-

Fuyutsuki: “…… That’s fine. Do it.”
Ibuki: “Y-yes, sir!”

Ibuki’s fingers race. The message “UNLOCKING S² ENGINE…” appears with a couple of seconds left in the reservoir.

-Rotunda-

Adam hovers over the lake, watching Eva-01’s progress from afar. Suddenly, she looks up.

Adam (MONO): “No… That’s enough.”

Her eyes close, and a massive energy distortion starts to spread around her. A second later, a powerful light emanates from her, overwhelming the screen — accompanied by a very loud “boom”.

-Command Center 2-

Suddenly, the entire structure shakes violently. The screens and holographic projections briefly flicker on and off.

Misato: “What the hell is that?!?”
Hyuga: “It’s… it’s an A.T. Field! …… The most powerful one that’s ever been recorded!”
Misato: “What’s it doing? Are we in danger?”
Aoba: “It seems to be having a blocking effect… We’re completely unable to monitor anything in Terminal Dogma. The electromagnetic spectrum… particle waves… they’re all being obstructed.”
Ibuki: “That means that we’ve lost the ability to track Eva-01 and the Angel…”
Misato: (frowns) “And we have no way of contacting the pilot… Do you know if the signal reached Eva-01 in time, at least?”

-Rotunda-

Eva-01, still on the move.

Finally, Shinji see it: an umbilical cable outlet hidden in an excavation in the ground, about 200 meters away.

Shinji: “There it is!!!”

The Eva rushes forward, and the final stretch seems so manageable, relief from impending doom so near… Shinji grits his teeth, wrestles with the difficult reality of both needing the Eva to move as fast as possible and still needing to be able to slow the thing down, with absolutely perfect timing…

A brilliant flash suddenly fills up the interior screen, temporarily blinding Shinji. He grunts, eyes pinched shut.

With the violent jostling of the Rotunda floor, the Eva loses her footing. Eva-01 plummets forward, her inertia sending her like a plow through the ground.

At length, the Eva stops sliding. Her head hangs limply into the power outlet’s hollow.

Her eyes are closed.

Music end: Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, 4th Mov. - "Presto" (“Ode to Joy”)

Notes:

- Yes, I know the chamber with the red ceiling isn’t anywhere near that huge in the original. We could afford bigger and more elaborate sets this time.
- This wouldn’t be happening in “real time”; events can be happening concurrently. Just so you know.
- Kudos to UrsusArctos for suggesting the Fuyutsuki dialogue (some of which made it through 100% intact) juxtaposed with Rei’s first appearance.
Last edited by Reichu on Wed Jul 22, 2009 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

UrsusArctos
The Beginning and the End
The Beginning and the End
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Postby UrsusArctos » Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:10 am

Looks like some old-fasioned boso is in order.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
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