[Fic] ANGEL ATTACK (The Real Story)

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[Fic] ANGEL ATTACK (The Real Story)

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Postby Sachi » Wed Mar 05, 2008 11:39 pm

(I'm bored, and I decided to retell the famous 3rd Angel attack to the world, but the real story. Through the eyes of Sachiel.
Here I go...)

2015.

Deep in the ocean, in a dark chasm, deeper than any submarine of this age could hope to explore, lay total darkness. Not a single aquatic animal lurked. Silence.

A blue flame sparked.

Big bubbles suddenly rose from the undersea fissure, and a bright red light appeared.

Mother...

A huge mass floated upwards from the chasm and slowly made it's ascent to the surface.

The giant was tremendous, higher than 40 meters. It's texture was mostly made up of a very dark green, almost black. It had long skinny arms with a spike protruding from each elbow, bone-colored shoulder cups, giant shoulder blades stuck out from the back. It's legs were extremely long and gangly. It's torso was giant at the shoulders, and shrunk as it went down to the waist. A face lay between the giant shoulders. A circular face, with a beak shooting down from the bottom. The only thing on the face were two black holes. Eyes. On the giant's chest was the source of the red light. A giant red orb stuck in the solar-plexus region. Ribs reached out around it, sorta protecting it.

The Third Angel, Sachiel, is what the tiny Lilin would soon call this monster.

It surfaced, face-up. Not a strip of land could be seen for miles, but Sachiel seemed to be floating in a specific direction at a very slow pace. Seagulls had soon made their perch on the Angel's body. Sachiel didn't seem to mind.

Mother, I've awakened, but you're not here. Where are you?

Moonlight. The Angel just stared into the sky. Almost as if it were picking out the constellations. The moon was as full as it gets every month. It hung high in the sky, staring back at Sachiel.

The giant just floated. It hadn't moved a muscle since it awoke. After a few hours, it sunk below the surface again. It turned over and was now floating just below the surface and heading in the same direction as it originally was.

Land appeared just behind the horizon, it was directly in the path of the Angel.

Light came from behind Sachiel. The sun peaked just above the eastern horizon and shone across the sky. With the rising sun, Sachiel made his way to Japan.

To Be continued...


(Don't criticize me too much, I did this completely on a whim. But I would like to write more. I'll probably continue this tomorrow.)
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Postby BEsERk EVA01 » Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:55 am

Nice story, like the descriptions.

By the way, why is it that almost everyone chooses the "Sachiel" battle first for their fan fiction? I did my fan fic on Su-35s and Tu-160 bombers relentlessly attacking Sachiel to no avail.

Well written, I look forward to more. :clap:
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Postby Shiro » Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:04 am

Well, considering it's...ABOUT Sachiel, I'd say it's appropriate.


Good start, interesting idea. Wonder how intelligent you'll portray him.
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Postby Sachi » Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:11 am

Well, based off the series, Sachiel didn't really show signs of intelligence. He showed that he was getting smarter. But...You'll just have to wait and see.
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Postby BEsERk EVA01 » Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:41 am

I can't wait to see him die at the end! You better make him die.

:leekspin:
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Postby Sachi » Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:58 pm

(Ok. Chapter II....)

Sachiel had floated into a floated section of a large city. When there was no longer enough water to float in, the large giant finally stood up and began walking. Water poured down, causing huge splashes.

Some other, bigger, different type of bird were hovering around him. They were made of metal. Military planes. Sachiel took no mind to them, and continued walking towards his destination. But they were still following him. The water soon ended and he stepped on the concrete and cracked it as he walked. Abandoned cars bounced up and down. A loud noise started going off. Sirens. And a voice came out saying something that Sachiel couldn't understand.

Sachiel just continued walking.

Suddenly, two missiles were fired, and they went around a building at exploded on Sachiel.

What are they doing? lol.

Sachiel's AT field had destroyed the missiles before they could hit him. And he just blinked.

A larger missile was fired at him. This time Sachiel decided to play catch. He successfully halted it, but it exploded on his hand.

Ouch, that kinda hurt

Seeing that the small birds were attacking him. Sachiel jumped and flew a few blocks. A when he landed he was kinda on the outskirts of town. He landed on a building and it fell as he came crashing down.

What are these metal towers doing here?

Sachiel walked out towards the mountains. The birds were still following him, firing small specs of metal at him. Bullets. They did no harm, they stopped suddenly and hit the ground before they got close to Sachiel.

When he got pretty deep in the forest, all the big birds flew away. Sachiel blinked.

Did they give up

All of a sudden, a speck of light fell from the sky. As soon as Sachiel looked up to see what it was, BOOM.

Sachiel finally felt immense pain. His skin and face started melting. Along with his shoulder cups and bones. After about 20 seconds of this, it ended. His old face melted, cracked, and was pushed over by his new face. He was regenerating. His shoulder cups opened, allowing air to go in and ventilate his system.

What do these birds have against me?

Sachiel then lost trust in anything metal. He saw a camera come out of the ground. Immediately, Sachiel's eyes flashed and the camera exploded.

Must find Mother...

To Be Continued...

(Yeah, this chapter wasn't much. I didn't get to have very much creativity on this one and I had to follow most of the details from the episode.)
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Postby BEsERk EVA01 » Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:16 pm

Lol, he acts so cute in that chapter. Such a confused Angel, ain't he? :salute:

Nice work. :salute:
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Postby reagen » Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:02 pm

Pretty nice!! I like it, some refreshment from the original!!...looking forward to the next!! :grin:
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Postby RandomStuff » Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:28 pm

Seems to melike this could be what he's thinking [translated from angel-speak, AKA growling an such]
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Postby Sachi » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:23 am

(Ch III)

By the time he was fully regenerated, it was dark again. The moon shone on his faces. Almost as if it was watching him. A presence came from it, a familiar presence. A warm one.

His old face hung from his flesh, completely useless, but it didn't bother him.

His anger had calmed and he went on with his search for home. For his mother.

He entered the city once again. It was still desolate. His giant mass shook the ground with each step, breaking windows, and causing cars to bounce.

The metal birds hadn't shown themselves since their last attack.

Hibernation?

Nevertheless, it meant peace for Sachiel. But that peace was soon interrupted.

Spotlights went off, not on him, but on a platform on the ground. Within seconds, the platform disappeared and up came a giant purple machine.

Sachiel turned a corner and faced it.

What's this? A sibling? No...There's a different presence from it. Lili-

His thoughts were interrupted as the Eva fell face first on the ground.

Enemy

Sachiel walked up to the fallen beast and picked it up by the head.

A Lilin biomass of this size? Impossible.

Sachiel grabbed on of it's arms and squeezed. It soon snapped, and as expected, was rendered useless. No blood, no signs of actual flesh or biological body.

Another metal enemy trying to take my life. Disturbing my lone search for my mother.

Angered once again, the spike that stuck out from his left elbow and shot out, hammering the machines head.

Again. Again. Again. Each time getting a little deeper, cracking it. Until finally it shot through. Taking the Eva with it. It flew all the way back until it hit a building.

Blood began spewing from the hole Sachiel had made, along with the exit wound.

Blood?

To be continued...


(I added a lot of extra stuff not even mentioned in the show. So forgive me for taking over.)
Last edited by Sachi on Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Tue Mar 18, 2008 4:57 pm

I like how you're doing this Sachi-kun, it's cute! ^_^

But I thought Eva-01 was the bastard child of both Lilith and Adam (Lilith being it's surrogate mother)??

Anyway nice job so far. Poor Sachiel-chan.... ;_;
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Postby RandomStuff » Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:08 pm

Great, now I'll feel guilty for mentally cheering on 01 when I watch the first two.
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Postby Sachi » Sat Mar 22, 2008 7:35 am

@SSD: You mean this part?
"What's this? A sibling? No...There's a different presence from it. Lili-"
Sachi's first reaction of it being a sibling could imply Sho's Adam side and the Lilith presence could be the other half.
Or it could just mean that it's a full Lilith thingy.

But just like I told Reichu: My RP posts aren't as bland as they may appear. Some have deeper than shallow meaning. That goes for this fan-fic as well.

Expecting the next chapter within the week.
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Postby BEsERk EVA01 » Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:28 pm

Holy crap! That was awesome, Sachi! I was like invigorised and mesmerised while I was reading that. :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
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Postby Sachi » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:35 am

(Chapter IV and the final.)

Blood?

The purple machine raised its head and stood. A ground-shaking roar erupted from where the mouth restraints used to be.

Oh...Shi-

The purple beast charged at Sachiel. But before it could reach it, the light of Sachiels soul halted the beast. Sachiels AT Field. It didn't hold the beast for long. It bounced back, and it's arm regenerated.

No machine could do that!

The beast grabbed the center of the ATF and slowly ripped it open till it finally gave way.

!!!

Desperately, Sachiel shot a beam from his eyes to rid himself of the devil. It was a powerful blast, probably the strongest Sachiel had ever done.

But the beast didn't budge. It grabbed both of Sachiel's arms with one hand and twisted them until they broke. Before Sachiel could do anything, the machine kicked him and sent him flying into the next building.

Son of a- W-why...

Sachiel tried to get up, but the monster rammed head first into him, causing the building to go backwards several blocks. The purples oni's horn had stabbed into Sachiels right shoulder.

Next, the beast grabbed at Sachiels ribs. Ripping them wide open, taking one out completely. And using it as a knife, repeatedly stabbing Sachiel's core.

To Sachiel, each stab came later and later, as he was losing consciousness. Anything was better than this.

The moon shone on Sachiels now broken face.

Mother, I'm sorry.

Sachiel jumped up and wrapped his body around the monsters head. Collapsing his own ATF, causing his body to melt and slowly turn to putty, his core pressed up against the monsters face shone brightly. Until finally it exploded in blood. And simultaneously with that explosion, Sachiels entire body exploded shaking the entire earth, in hopes to at least take the beast with him.

He'd rather die by his own hands than at the hands of the enemy. An honorable death.

(I had trouble writing this, the final chapter. But alls well ends well. :smirk: And that's the end!)
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Postby BEsERk EVA01 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:24 am

Hmm...very well written but needs a bit more detail. The battle was pretty short, and a bit more emotion would've been good. Like Sachi yelling or gasping in pain as Eva-01 snaps his arms etc etc. Overall, pretty good.
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Postby CorporalChaos » Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:25 am

Wait....wheres the lemon scene with Shammy?
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Postby Sachi » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:42 pm

I left out battle detail, because we all pretty much memorized what happened.
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Postby BEsERk EVA01 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:21 pm

And a bit too fast paced. Like you skipped quite a few things and whenever I'm reading it it's like racing through my head.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:23 pm

Yeah, it went way too fast.
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