[RP]A Post Third-Impact World ~Session 1~

General Role-Playing and collective works.

Moderator: Board Staff

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Fri May 09, 2008 5:23 pm

(OOC: Edited)

Maya frowned. She had left the apartment after giving Sachiel some food, and was now in the hallway. She took some deep breathes and tried to analyze the events of the past few days. When not lost in her thoughts, she was looking for Smith... And yet...

What she found, or in this case, didn't find had left her more upset than before: No sign of Smith anywhere in the complex.

At times, he could have been rough around the edges, but he was kind to her. If something had happened to the somewhat mysterious yet brave American... Her stomach turning, Maya hoped this didn't mean anything bad.

Maya frowned to herself, realizing she shouldn't go jumping to conclusions so soon. Sighing, the young woman quietly scanned the apartment hallway. She noticed the former Second Children--Asuka--apparently going somewhere a few flights down. Two other female teenagers--one that she didn't immediately recognize--were heading to the top floor--Shinji-kun's apartment, based on how it looked.

Thinking for a moment, Maya decided that going to her senpai would be the best course of action for now. Major Katsuragi and Kaji-san most likely already had some firearms on them, so they were okay if this did indeed mean something bad. It was the others who needed protection. She just hoped she wouldn't come across as a nuisance when visiting the good doctor, that was the last thing she wanted...Along with giving people unneeded grief.

***
(OOC: And now for something completely different...)

My eyes adjust to the sudden brightness of the sun. Nature is great. Being outside like this, I could be happy... Provided all my basic needs were still met, that is. (What can I say, I'm spoiled.)

And of course, I'd miss the taste of beer too much. I don't know how Misa-chan lives without the stuff now. I guess that mating ritual of hers with that pony-tail guy helps... Sigh...Humans are so vile and diseased.

Giving a wark of thanks to Akira for bringing me outside, I waddle over to sit and relax under the cool shade of a tree. My eyes close, as I drift off to sleep, dreaming of the girl of my dreams: that cute dog on TV with that blue bow in her hair. Too bad she was replaced by that stupid cat...I hate him so much!

Despite some slight annoyances, I gotta say that overall, life for this bird, is good. If only those silly humans could learn a thing or two from me! ;)
Last edited by Sailor Star Dust on Thu May 22, 2008 5:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.
~Take care of yourself, I need you~

honsou
Zeruel
Zeruel
Age: 37
Posts: 845
Joined: Sep 15, 2006
Gender: Male

Postby honsou » Sat May 10, 2008 12:29 am

So, what do I do now?

Brian looked at the outcrop of buildings and started to walk towards them.

Seems to me I have two choices, I could try to find people...if there are other people at this point. It is entirely possible that I am the only person who came back, though I feel its pretty unlikely. Or I can try to find some supplies now...

He came upon a fairly large apartment building and scratched his head

I cant explain why I feel this way, but it feels like this building is...lived in. At worst the apartments should have things I need in them, well I got nothing to lose lets give it a shot.


And with that he walked inside the building

TheAyanamiOtaku
Test Subject
Test Subject
User avatar
Posts: 2780
Joined: May 08, 2007
Location: Fran Sancisco

Postby TheAyanamiOtaku » Sun May 11, 2008 2:12 am

(OOC: Imogen Heap's Hide and Seek helped me overcome Writer's Bloc. Thank you Ms. Heap, I owe ya one!!)

Lilith. Ayanami Rei. Our Mother. Angel. Foreign. Welcome. Warm. Alone. Alone. Alone.

I chop the last pieces of Napa Cabbage, American Spinach, and Shanghainese Cabbage and place them in the water. The sphere of water is now gone. The last of the generated water. Water...It's a wonder how such a simple substance can give such incalculable bliss.

Am I being used? Used...I've gone over this before. I want to help my children and hers. I want to keep them alive for the future that she and I both wanted. What do I really want to do...I'm...I'm not being used...I...miss Adam. She would...she would make things better....no..she's dead...she's dead...she's dead-

"Rei, thanks again for your help."

...

She smiles at me. She smiles at me. It is over! I'm not used...they're thankful...little...smile...smile. A sign. Th...Than-Thank you...

"If you're hungry, feel free to dig in now; I don't mind. In fact I think I'll try a little, myself."

I'm not hungry, but I told her I would try this curry dish of hers. I didn't eat anything the previous time at her apartment.

...

It's good. The violent flair on the tongue, and the strange taste of hybridizing the artificial and natural ingredients...I...like it. Its uniqueness strikes me. Different from the rest of the foods that I've tried here...the taste of ramen with her curry paste...hm...mm...

I haven't ate in days...but I don't need food. I don't need to hide anymore. What...what am I hiding from? I...don't need to act like my children anymore. Perhaps...I enjoy food...because of the taste....that's acceptable behavior. Yes. I can handle this. Katsuragi-san is conversing with her father...Katsuragi-hakase...

"Ah, didn't mean to ignore you, good morning, Lilith.”

? He is unsure whether to call me Ayanami Rei...or by Lilith. Images...his image of me...betrays him. My image...is this my new image of myself? I'm altered...slightly...

The streak of silver. The breasts. The muscle growth. My facial expressions.

Everything...is like water. Shapeless, but fills a vessel. I...I can't return to shapelessness anymore?

I silently finish the plate. Katsuragi-hakase finishes conversing and waves goodbye to Katsuragi-san and I. To me too...what...what do I...

I raise my hand to mimic his gesture, but he already disappeared from the doorway, and let it fall down by my side.

I slowly walk over to the doorway and to the balcony. The thin white collared long-sleeved ripples in the smooth wind...and my thin black pants dance to the beat of the whispering. I look at the sun, and I feel tears falling down my eyes again...Averting my gaze, I turn my head to the vast forest...a dead giant, with its arms strewn to the side, sleeping next to the ocean, ever-so-slowly breathing...the moon is slowly fading away, with its familiar white stencils soaked in the double-sea of the sky...

Adam....where are you...I...I need you...to help...to help me....help me save them all...Adam....Adam...

I'm overwhelmed...the memories...are still...

I pick up my plate and place it in the sink. My legs are trembling...Katsuragi-san is sitting down at the table...walking slowly to the table, I pull up another chair...Adam... Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Where are you?

"W-well any how I think you're right. I'll go and check on mama and you can have that time alone for yourself."

Soryu-kun.

She smiled at us. She feels at peace with herself right now. She sees a sample of shapelessness. I am thankful for her joy. She is not alone anymore- alone. alone...

"I'm going to check on Mama."

alone. It's always there...but it's so easy to turn away from...to ignore its advance..to ignore the inevitable. When the ghosts are gone, the statues grin eternally in their silent torture and release. I will roam here...alone...she's dead...she's dead...

"Sorry to leave you like this, Rei, but I need to see Father. I hope this isn't too much trouble... And please don't worry yourself with the dishes, I'll clean them later as a way to make up for this."

Katsuragi-san.

"...Thank you."

Ikari-kun. We...we are..no one is around us...he wants to tell me something...we are alone. He locks eye with my eyes. Blue...they've suffered under a cause...Will I ever know that... I truly loved him as a son...or as a lover...

he wishes to speak...

"So...."

He's smiling...no, he's nervous.

"how are you, Rei?"

"...I'm whole again."
I'm falling apart.


"Rei, um...I haven't seen Kaworu-kun around lately. I know I was knocked out for a while but...where is he?"

...

"Did...did something happen to him while I was unconscious?"

I am crying again. Did I...

"...Adam....is.....dead. s-s...She died as her...AT Field collapsed upon itself. She escaped Earth, and the resulting explosion turned night into day for a few seconds. She sacrificed herself so that our second chance would not be wasted."

I start to cry. I start to cry. Whimpering. I covet my eyes with the palms of my hands. Sobbing. Muscle memory from the vessel itself? The tears stream down my arms, and my sobbing shakes my vessel.

why?

why?

why?

why?

Seconds pass. The tears collect on my elbows and the table.

"I feel sad, but the tears won't come."

I lift my hands away from my face...and meet his eyes again. I dive into his pupils and find a boy...broken. Enemy of himself. Lost...lost, far from home. Nothing's changed, except for everything outside. Stimuli will stop him from repeating himself...or me...

"Rei."

-

He's holding my hand...it's...so warm...I'm...so cold...

"Why is it...that regardless of how afraid I feel around you, I just can't bring myself to hate you?"

You...you want to hate me?
"You...you want to hate me?"

What...I...you...us...

My facial muscles have stopped moving again....but the tears continue to slide down...

"If you really care for me more than Father, if you really are in lo--love with me..."

"I...I......"

I love...I...love..love...

"I...."

"Then...then, why weren't you at least by my side? I..."

When did you need me?! You have Soryu-kun...she is yours....I...I'm lost to myself and the sea....Armisael was right...I was in denial...I....

I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay in the Space, free. I was inconsiderate, because I didn't want to feel alone anymore. I didn't want to feel anymore. I didn't want anything.

"I'm still in such pain. I can't help but feel betrayed. I was alone for so many months, for such a long time..."

What should I do?! I... can't...

"I...I'm sorry...I..."

I squeeze his hand with mine.

...

"I...I was alone for more than a few months. Wasn't I, Rei?"

I'm not crying for Adam anymore. Not only Adam.

"Tell me. Please. How long was I alone for? What month, what day is it now?! The only thing I know is it's 2016. But, I...I have to know. Please!"

"According to your calender...it is only February 26th, 2016. But I'm...so sorry. I don't mind if you are angry at me. I understand your frustration."

I'm not just crying for Adam...I...

"I'm sorry...I...I placed my needs over yours....I didn't want to come back...I didn't want to come back, Shinji...but I feared that you did...and you did when I checked, so I had to. I...still...l-l....love you."

I am going to tear him apart...why did I tell him? I'm placing my needs over his again...

I'm not crying for anyone, except for Shinji and Adam.

"I love you, Shinji."
I love you, Adam.
Rei: I'm not your puppet.

The Allied States of Syraneen

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun May 11, 2008 9:20 pm

(OOC: Added some lines to this post: http://evageeks.org/forum/viewtopic.php?p=170725#170725 )


"I...I'm sorry...I..." Rei's hand squeezes mine.

"According to your calender...it is only February 26th, 2016. But I'm...so sorry. I don't mind if you are angry at me. I understand your frustration."

Looking into her eyes, I realize Rei's actually crying. My eyes widen from shock, causing my own eyes to water as I eventually cry.

"I'm sorry...I...I placed my needs over yours....I didn't want to come back...I didn't want to come back, Shinji...but I feared that you did...and you did when I checked, so I had to. I...still...l-l....love you."

Not being able to take it anymore, I run into Rei's arms, hugging her, not realizing my head is buried into her chest. "I love you, Shinji."

I nod, my tears soaking her shirt, letting out a whimper. "I love you too, Rei. I honestly do...I want us to have a good relationship together!"

I can't do anything else but cry, no sob, from the sheer exhaustion and overwhelmed feelings of everything: Being alone, others returning, others hurting me, myself continuing to hurt others...

It just hurts! Somebody please just MAKE IT STOP!
Last edited by Sailor Star Dust on Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Reichu
Admin Emeritus
Admin Emeritus
User avatar
Posts: 24046
Joined: Aug 21, 2004
Location: Sailing for the white shores
Gender: Female

Postby Reichu » Mon May 12, 2008 2:42 pm

((@ Sachi: I altered my prior Toji installment slightly. And... Behold! My longest Toji post EVAR!!!))

The rage had come so fast. But, as Toji gazed through narrowed eyes at his twisted doppelganger, there was no way to avoid the resurging feelings. Of absolute helplessness, despair, pain…

Of stolen identity.

Of a forgotten hate stirred up from his heart’s darkest depths.

His knuckles began to turn white.

Kaji’s voice filtered back in. “…we're supposed to leave all of our past hatreds behind and start off on a clean slate. Forget your grudge with the Angels and help us build a new life.”

Toji turned his eyes to the floor. He just wanted to cuss Kaji out. How could anyone say stuff that cheesy and expect him to take it serious? “If he wanted to start clean slate, he wouldn’t have…” Brows knitted heavily, he looked at Bardiel’s face again, and decided not to say anything. Some ‘clean slate’, eh?

"He's right, Toji,” said Kensuke. “Let's just go upstairs and bring some more food for these guys.”

“Bring Ritsuko, too,” added Kaji. “She'll need to see to take a look at our friend here.”

Now I’m a goddam errand boy. “Yeah. Sure.” His tones were low, with only the barest indication of restraint. That Kaji had a lot of nerve, acting all goodie two-shoes. Like he was some kinda saint. Toji cursed under his breath.

Maybe he couldn’t settle the score now. But someday that Bardiel bastard would get what was comin’ to him. Direct from the guy he’d fucked with. One way or the other.

***

Some of the Angels wandered out, and Kensuke let everybody know, as loud as possible, that the chick with the pink hair had once been the floating sausage-squid with the laser whips. Now, that had been a day to remember… How did that wacky-looking Angel end up becoming a … well, Toji guessed she was a bit of a babe, wasn’t she? None of the Angel chicks were too shabby-lookin’, as a matter of fact.

But he wasn’t sure he liked the vibes this “Shamshel”, or whatever, gave out. She had an almost aloof air to her, but Toji would be hard-pressed to explain why he thought so.

Kaji was talking to a pale chick with really long black hair, Shamshel, and a blonde in a blue dress. The latter looked kinda scary, even though she was hot; he wondered if she was the one who had pulverized Kensuke the other day when he caught her half-naked. Speaking of half-naked… the one with the black hair wasn’t wearin’ very much, was she?

"Are you two going upstairs?” Kaji asked Shamshel and the blonde. “Leliel here” — hmm, that must be the other one’s name… — “must be starving. Can you take her with you to get something to eat?” And then Kaji gestured in Toji’s direction. “Take these two, as well.”

Toji crossed his arms and side-glanced over at Kensuke. “As if we can’t walk up some stairs without bein’ supervised. C’mon, Kensuke.” And he turned his back and stomped off without even listening to the rest, kicking some odd object lying in his path on the way.
Last edited by Reichu on Mon May 12, 2008 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Reichu
Admin Emeritus
Admin Emeritus
User avatar
Posts: 24046
Joined: Aug 21, 2004
Location: Sailing for the white shores
Gender: Female

Postby Reichu » Mon May 12, 2008 4:27 pm

((Now Ritsuko's turn...))

The coffee… It had failed.

Her cheek heavy against the fabric covering her arm, Ritsuko felt herself drift off somewhere. No… She wouldn’t just drift anywhere. She needed to go to a place that would provide the staples of her existence.

Focus. Just focus.

A flat monitor screen with the edges coated in sticky notes. A mug with a red half-figleaf on it. The sound of churning and bubbling. A tray of lipstick-stained cigarette butts. Two little porcelain cats, smiling up at her.

She smiled back, and finally realized that she was seated in an office chair. And the mug was in her hand. But, for some reason, there was no coffee in it.

“You should really cut back on that stuff,” the black cat said.

“The cigarettes, too,” said the white one. “Those things are awful for your health. You’re a scientist, right? You should know that.”

“You’re just a cat,” Ritsuko replied. And, indeed, it was a cat. They were both cats. Very real, very alive, cats, sitting there on her desk in the exact same pose. “What would you know of science?”

Their tails undulated in unison. “We live in the office of Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. It is inevitable that we will pick up things here and there.”

“Well, I suppose that’s true,” Ritsuko conceded. She looked into her empty coffee mug, irritated, and, glancing around, wondered exactly where that churning and bubbling was coming from. “Is there a coffee machine somewhere?” Her own machine was conspicuously absent.

“No,” said the black cat. “But, if you simply must have some, there is an endlessly-refilling pot on my head.” Ritsuko looked again, and, indeed, there was a pot, balanced perfectly on the cat’s head. Where had that come from? “Please, help yourself.”

And so she did.

“Now,” Ritsuko said, “all I need are some…” And then a familiar, and most inviting, smoky odor reached her nose. The white cat was smoking. Seven cigarettes at once. “My favorite brand! You wouldn’t mind sharing, would you?”

“No, of course not.” The cat produced another stick via slight of hand.

Ritsuko quickly indulged herself. “But aren’t those things awful for your health, Shironeko-chan?”

“The Japanese tobacco industry snagged me when I was young,” Shironeko said. “And now I have this stressful job here at Nerv. You know how it is.”

“Do I ever.” She exhaled a large cloud of smoke, feeling very happy indeed.

“But the truth is, Dr. Akagi,” the black cat said, “if the cigarettes don’t kill you, the gun will.”

“The… gun?”

The black cat was now mysteriously standing on its hind legs and, despite the fact that it lacked an opposable thumb, was holding a rather familiar-looking gun and pointing it right at her with an eerily familiar-looking expression, complete with big, creepy eyes staring coldly forward from behind red-tinted glasses.

Ritsuko dropped her cigarette. “Oh, not this again…”

SPLAT!

Reichu
Admin Emeritus
Admin Emeritus
User avatar
Posts: 24046
Joined: Aug 21, 2004
Location: Sailing for the white shores
Gender: Female

Postby Reichu » Mon May 12, 2008 4:32 pm

((T-T-TRIPLE COMBO!!! Might shave this one down later, unless people actually think it's not a total bore.))

Akira didn't get very far before he heard those odd, distinct footsteps behind him. He looked over his shoulder and down at the floor, only to be met with the vivid green eyes of the red-crested bird. Pen-Pen stopped in his tracks and the two stared at one another for a moment.

“May I … help you?” Akira finally asked, not that he expected an answer. At least, not a traditional one.

Pen-Pen waddled over to the stairs and glanced down, then back at Akira, tilting his head to one side. He repeated the gesture.

“The stairs are a bit steep for little penguin legs, aren't they?” Akira replied. “I suppose I can try to give you a lift...” He peered at the overburdened plate he had in one hand, contemplating how he could pull this off in one trip while avoiding some kind of horrendous accident.

It worked out alright in the end, since carrying Pen-Pen was manageable with one arm. Akira went downstairs as discretely as possible, hoping to avoid a new entanglement, and ended up veering away from the familiar front entrance to a back doorway he wasn't sure he'd already known about or not. He might have originally entered the building this way, but he honestly couldn't remember.

Putting the penguin down, he quietly opened the door, and just as quietly closed it behind them. He blinked heavily as his eyes adjusted; there was more light than he expected. But it was nice out — very nice. Akira heard Pen-Pen coo approvingly and deliver a polite “wark” his way — or something that might be interpreted as such — and the bird began waddling towards a stand of trees that had been planted on the inner periphery of the complex.

After taking care of a pressing matter — he wondered if anyone else would think to raise the topic of “organic wastes” later on, or if it would inevitably fall upon him... — Akira joined Pen-Pen in the shade. The bird had already made himself comfortable, crest feathers lowered in relaxation, and was apparently ready to fall asleep again at any time. Fascinating little creature. Akira eyed the large contraption on the penguin's back, still at a loss for exactly what it was or what it did. He'd have to ask Misato later.

Misato...

He settled back and started eating. It was good. Memories of the awful stuff he and the other members of the expedition had been forced to subside on month after month resurfaced quickly. Even putting aside his years of “inactivity”, he hadn't eaten any “real” food in quite a long time. He hadn't really prepared anything in a long time, for that matter... Not for more than one person.

Akira chewed each morsel with a delicate thoughtfulness. ...So Misato had helped make this? Maybe they could prepare a meal together soon. That would be nice.

The temperate morning air was filled with a sense of calm. Perhaps a misleading one. Beautiful as the sky was, it was scarred, oh so faintly, by a thin red line that arced its way from one horizon to the other. He knew he'd seen it before, but he wasn't certain of its nature. It added a certain level of omnipresent menace, should one care to notice it. And there were all the other traces of ruin and a bygone apocalypse that were impossible to ignore any which way.

Satisfied for the time being, he set the plate to the side and nestled himself against the tree’s smooth surface. Closing his eyes and falling into a state of relaxation, he began to feel the sensation of being tossed and turned. An echo of two nights before, as the unapologetic waves rolled and tumbled him towards shore. He’d been one of many incomplete souls, heavy with pain, leaving the oceanic abyss — a domain “safe”, but forever unchanging, where one could do nothing but float in a state of limbo. It was no place for a human to be.

But what of the alternative? All was not right in the world. Things could not simply be picked up where they’d been left. The gears that had sustained modernized society had been shut off all at once. The machine was out of order. They could not live comfortable lives wrapped in the safe blanket of civilization. The only things they could count on now were their own resourcefulness, ability to cooperate, and, perhaps most importantly…

…ability to remain sane.

He could probably vouch for himself. He’d stood on the very brink of madness at one point, and he knew he was never going back. But what about everyone else? Even though they had chosen to return, Akira knew that many of the individuals here had succumbed to the fragility of their human hearts and allowed themselves to be broken, deeply — just as he had. And, as Shinji Ikari and Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu apparently exemplified, not all of them had reached what might be considered “functional resolution”.

Akira hoped that, if no one else, Misato would be able to look upon the challenges ahead with strength, rather than with fear, anger, and despair. For all the scars she couldn’t overcome, and all her mistakes, Akira did feel proud of her. The adult she had become, and all she had achieved with what very little she’d been left after Second Impact. Was that strength still there? Was that willingness to oppose adversity at all odds still there? To do whatever needed to be done, even if others believed it impossible?

She certainly didn’t acquire that sense of resolve from either of her parents, he thought with a slight smirk on his face. His eyes slowly opened and a more severe expression took over. But I wonder if she’s really ready… to leave the sad little girl and the angry teenager behind.

((@SSD: Ought to do the father-daughter thing over IRC sometime for optimum results.))
Last edited by Reichu on Mon May 12, 2008 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Mon May 12, 2008 5:18 pm

(OOC: Btw, Reichu your Akira post was fine to me. Edited and combined with another post. )

Gently knocking on the door to Kyoko's apartment, Maya's voice softly called, "Hello? Senpai, are you in here?"

She had occasionally heard the mutterings of a female voice; it must have been her. Entering the source of the noise--Kyoko's apartment--the 24 year old noticed a brown-haired woman resting in bed. Ritsuko, however, was sitting in the kitchen, drinking some canned coffee while apparently looking irritable.

Maya breathed a sigh of relief at seeing the fake blonde. The young woman frowned, noticing Ritsuko seemed to be spacing out. Upon closer inspection, it looked as if Ritsuko was sleeping. “Oh, not this again…”, she quietly said in her sleep.

Blinking from confusion, Maya felt her cheeks turn pink in embarrassment, unsure of what to do.

***

Looking around a few feet away from the apartment, Misato frowned. She didn't see her father anywhere...

Stretching her arms and yawning tiredly, Misato blinked while allowing the fresh air to enter her lungs. What was immediately on her mind was... Survival. Her own. The others.

Beginning to walk to search for him--although she wasn't certain where she was headed--the woman let her thoughts take over.

How will we be able to properly survive with the sorry state Shinji-kun and Asuka's mother are in? What will we do for the long term once we run out of supplies in this area? What if more people don't return? We will not be able to rebuild as a civilization again? What...

The bright, warm, light of the sun beat down as Misato made her way towards the stand of trees, some grass and dirt underneath. The woman stepped off the somewhat sandy pavement for the apartment onto the soft, green, grass, momentarily closing her eyes to inhale and exhale. She could do this. She had to do this. She was strong enough and knew it.

Now standing in front of Akira, their eyes met, locking. Her breathing, her heartbeat, the distant crash of the beach's waves...even time itself seemed to stand still as they stared; brown meeting brown. What...will I say to him?
Last edited by Sailor Star Dust on Wed May 21, 2008 6:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Tue May 13, 2008 2:07 pm

(OOC: 1st person POV (slightly tweaked from original writing) stream of consciousness: Now with 50% more panic attack Shinji! (And some PTSD thrown in for good measure.))

Rei. Breasts soft warmth mother Yui fear unfamiliar mother Lilith no panic fear anxiety. Breaking away blue eyes panic stricken mentally form sentences but unable speak strange. Sudden heavy breathing heart pounding in my chest like bursting open oh my God I'm going to die my eyes widen Panic...I'm sorry Rei. and run out the door. Need oxygen open space freedom.

Running nearly flying downstairs a blur of colors names faces people others: Touji Kensuke friends Angels unfamiliar Kaji adult Asuka sex Foreigner stranger. Oh my God oh my God need air don't want to die no not yet please no.

Outside air clean sunlight warmth sky blue running towards unknown freedom solitude need take care self Akira-san Pen-pen Misato-san "Is that Shinji-kun?! Where's he running to?"

Breath heavy tears eyes fear anxiety loss sanity NO! Why? Collapsing knees weak no breath city ahead silent tears. Rubbing my eyes feelings of panic decrease my heartbeat breath body slowly return "normal". Frustration fills veins inability remember last time if ever panic attack.

/"Most people don't realize the importance of taking care of themselves."/ Paraphrased words yet important. Crying, curling up into ball, into myself, wonder: Did I do the right thing just now? Running during the attack? Oh God I don't know Did...Am I taking care of myself?

Don't know don't know loneliness solitude fear anxiety far too long. Nervous tic hand twitch reappearance out of blue and eyes back and forth nervously darting. Sudden high energy can't stay put start pacing up and down thinking sighing. Mindlessly clean area standing in. After wiping dust dirt rocks pebbles away, sit down grass dirt pavement.

Hand tic sitting hugging knees eyes closed face buried watery crying sadness depression anger fear separation anxiety confusion sickness unknown insanity. Will I ever be back to normal?

Want to scream from pain of everything... Soryu-san Asuka Bardiel Sickness Confusion Betrayed by Others ...but voice not working hurts to speak or sob. Too alert to sleep too weary to move just sit motionless save for quiet breathing. My tears halted need to remain strong I can't act weak anymore but I am.

I hope others don't hate me for this.
Last edited by Sailor Star Dust on Thu May 15, 2008 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

honsou
Zeruel
Zeruel
Age: 37
Posts: 845
Joined: Sep 15, 2006
Gender: Male

Postby honsou » Wed May 14, 2008 5:36 pm

Just as he was about to enter the complex he saw a brown haired boy run out of another entrance.

Another person! This is great, this was a lot easier then i thought it would be!

Brian walked towards him and yelled out "Hello! I'm so glad i found another person!"

But the boy kept running "Wait wait!" Brian ran after him

He was finally about to catch up with the boy when he collapsed. As he got closer he soon saw why. He was shaking, and looked very nervous. He saw the tears in his eyes and got within a few feet of Shinji.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen to you"

Looks like some sort of panic attack

Under closer inspection of the boy he noticed something...he couldn't put his finger on it but something was familiar about the boy

I have seen this boy before...

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Wed May 14, 2008 7:28 pm

Letting out a sigh from the back of his throat, Shinji made a face as he stood up. Staring at the city in front of him--his body having calmed down since his panic attack a few minutes prior--he decided to make himself useful and search for supplies. Knowing that it was technically looting, Shinji felt at slight ease with the fact it was necessary for survival...And that even though civilization was gone, it was only for the time being(?). He hoped it was temporary at least.

Stretching as he briefly paused in his destination, the boy focused on his thoughts since talking to himself wasn't an option. He discovered that at least making noises---although only from his throat--was still possible. I wonder...why am I even bothering with this right now? Will anybody even appreciate it? I know that "shopping" at least will get my mind off things but...

Shinji nervously looked around. Unable to fight off that wave of panic in his stomach. Ugh...anyway...toiletries--including feminine products (Living with two women before helped him know about such things) towels, a jug or some bottles of water, dried and canned goods, flashlights, batteries, matches and candles, some magazines for boredom, and another Walkman to replace mine...

Before Shinji could do anything, however, he noticed that foreigner man--possibly American--about 29, with curly brown hair, clean-shaven--stood in front of him. The man was about 5'9'' with an average build, but was somewhat out of shape.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen to you?"

Nodding, Shinji eyed the unfamiliar man somewhat suspiciously while nervously looking around. In the dirt, he wrote in a mixture of Kanji and Kana: "Name is Ikari Shinji. Had panic attack then no speak. Mentally think OK." The boy hoped that made the least bit of sense.

To demonstrate his problem, Shinji attempted to speak, but only managed a squeak from the back of his throat instead.
Last edited by Sailor Star Dust on Thu May 15, 2008 6:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Thu May 15, 2008 6:29 pm

To say Shinji was frustrated about the current situation was an understatement. However, he tried to not show it, hoping that maybe this man could help him somehow.

Realizing he should probably give more information, Shinji "added" in the dirt, writing with a nearby stick: "Earlier today...strangle slightly. Same happen...yesterday. Two different people. Both times...okay after." Struck with a sudden new thought, he jotted down: "Think...sudden panic attack shock system. Probably...stress."

He sat upright, realizing that continuing to sit curled up would make him look more pathetic then he already was. Not something he wanted at that moment; he felt miserable enough already. Great...just great. I try to do what I think is the right thing with taking care of myself, and this happens! Just when I was hoping I could turn things around with how I've felt...

Shinji pushed back the tears forming in his eyes, shaking his head while clearly lost in thought. I've cried enough, just calm down. Relax. Figure out what's the best thing I can do for myself and others in the time being--given the circumstances--and do it.

His slightly wet eyes meeting the man's, Shinji let out a sad-sounding sigh from his throat. He was completely lost with what to do next.

Sachi
Oh Daddy!
Oh Daddy!
User avatar
Age: 27
Posts: 10122
Joined: Aug 29, 2006
Location: Hollywoo
Gender: Male

Postby Sachi » Thu May 15, 2008 10:54 pm

A few minutes prior...

Darkness...

It is dark in here. Absence of light.

Light.

The phenomenon known as light.

Warmth. Comfort

I feel warm. What is this feeling?

Something. Someone. Somebody.

Shamshel. Friend. Sister.

Affection.

Different than everybody else. She stands out. Not like a thorn, but like the rose. Beauty. Black.

Black. The color of the night. The color of my clothing. The color of death.

Rose. Also Red.

Blood. I bleed. Why?

Lilin. I am a Lilin now. I look like myself as before. Why?

Myself. Monster. Abomination. Sachiel.

Now. Similar. Mask. Remembrance. Scar. Burden. Acceptance. Sachiel.

No. Not a monster before. Outside only. Inside. Lost. Alone. Scared. "Mother..."

Now. Outside. Mask. Removable. Monster sometimes. Human other.

My clothes. Reminiscent of myself. Also removable. Nudity.

Cold. Alone. Vulnerable.

Fragility. My Aura. The light of my soul. Absence of my light.

Darkness...


"Good...morning."
- Sachi

I host the discord server for the EvaGeeks forums. Join us! https://discord.gg/r6VrJD8

TheAyanamiOtaku
Test Subject
Test Subject
User avatar
Posts: 2780
Joined: May 08, 2007
Location: Fran Sancisco

Postby TheAyanamiOtaku » Fri May 16, 2008 3:49 am

(OOC: IT'S ARMI!!!! Sorry sorta short today, establishing)

Armisael of Innocence

"Good...morning."

"Hello, eldest brother! I see you have recovered quite well...your aura has taken care of you again. Would you like to accompany me to breakfast? You can still fly, right? I don't feel like taking the stairs, because they're on the top floor. Lilith is cooking for us, and she's been with the Lilin for a while, so I might just eat it for the taste..."

Sachiel looks...depressed...mother's dead...again.

And yet....oh it's just a feeling but i wish it isn't simply so...the clothes flow around my body in the soft wind. I walk towards the door, but Sachiel continues to have that distant look on his face...hmm...

"Sachiel, let's go!"

What's happening to you, big brother?
Last edited by TheAyanamiOtaku on Sat May 17, 2008 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Rei: I'm not your puppet.

The Allied States of Syraneen

Sachi
Oh Daddy!
Oh Daddy!
User avatar
Age: 27
Posts: 10122
Joined: Aug 29, 2006
Location: Hollywoo
Gender: Male

Postby Sachi » Sat May 17, 2008 1:25 am

(BTW, Armisael isn't wearing her ribbons anymore. A while back AG had her change into an all white outfit (white pants, white button down) with her ribbon tied around her waist.)

"Hello, eldest brother! I see you have recovered quite well...your aura has taken care of you again. Would you like to accompany me to breakfast? You can still fly, right? I don't feel like taking the stairs, because they're on the top floor. Lilith is cooking for us, and she's been with the Lilin for a while, so I might just eat it for the taste..."

The words almost didn't even pass his consciousness, his thoughts consuming most of his concentration.

Darkness.

Returned to darkness.

From ashes to ash, from dust to dust. Fade to black.

Fade to darkness. Return.

Return to nothingness.

Nothingness...

"Sachiel, let's go!"


"Hm? Oh." He nodded "Um, fly? Was I ever able to fly?" He pondered about that. In fact, he didn't recall ever being able to fly, but he remembered jumping really high as a result of his Aura, but that's it. I suppose it was...possible. But can I now? Doubtful, he decided to walk, and asked if that was ok with her.

[Armisael]

With her confirmation, he decided to take the stairs. He hoped she'd come along too, a companion to talk to would be nice.

Top floor, right? I hope I don't get lost again. With each step, walking seemed to be easier and easier, taking the pressure of his chest. Breathing became normal again, and it didn't hurt to talk or smile.

"Armisael..." He bit his lip, pausing for a moment Ultimately splitting from what he was originally going to ask to something totally new. "How do you feel about being...Lilin now?"

--

On a different flight of stairs, Kensuke, still with camera in hand, filming nearly every second of his life, kept his focus on the two Angels walking ahead of him.

One with long, pink hair. Her gym suit looked uncomfortable on her. Though Kensuke thought the tight shorts looked discomforting, even if they were the right size.

The more surprising one was the Angel in the blue dress. Not that there was anything wrong with her outfit or anything. Just after seeing her in the suit of armor, a dress seemed kinda...different.

"Hey Toji, haven't you noticed that Shinji has..."

Before he could finish, Shinji ran by, teary eyes, and just charged down the stair case and out of sight.

"Um...?"

[Anybody]

"Shinji seems to have been bearing a lot of stress lately...do ya think it was from being alone for so long with Asuka??"

[Anybody]

"Should we go after him?"
- Sachi

I host the discord server for the EvaGeeks forums. Join us! https://discord.gg/r6VrJD8

TheAyanamiOtaku
Test Subject
Test Subject
User avatar
Posts: 2780
Joined: May 08, 2007
Location: Fran Sancisco

Postby TheAyanamiOtaku » Sat May 17, 2008 1:42 am

Armisael the Innocent

"You...you can't fly? Well sure I suppose I could fly as you walk..."

I rotate my body in the air to float by him, perpendicular to his head.

"Armisael...

...How do you feel about being...Lilin now?"

?

"In the beginning...I resented being defenseless, but now with my aura back I feel more secure and this vessel being simply a vessel to operate in, like our old bodies. But..."

I don't want to talk about Adam.

"...eh idano. I suppose that I...we...all of us would be more comfortable in our original bodies, but to me getting used to them is simply a matter of time. You'll get the hang of it. You are Adam's firstborn...nothing should truely stop you."

Hm. I feel that he's gone inside.

"Sachiel whats wrong? You seem less of energy as of late, despite your full recovery and aura reemergence...is..is it about Adam? Whats up?"
Rei: I'm not your puppet.

The Allied States of Syraneen

honsou
Zeruel
Zeruel
Age: 37
Posts: 845
Joined: Sep 15, 2006
Gender: Male

Postby honsou » Sat May 17, 2008 1:38 pm

Brian smiled as his eyes met with Shinji's

"Ah a panic attack its what i thought, well Shinji it looks like its your lucky day you ran into NERV's psychologist. Though it sounds like you had a very rough day..."

Shinji...where do i know that name...

"Well for now we need a better way to communicate then you just writing in the dirt. Lets see if we can find you a pen and paper, lets see."

Brian starts to look around and sees what can best be described as a general store.

Well that should have some paper, plus i can get a bite to eat. Maybe even some smokes...or some nicotine patches, what ever i find first.

"Well shall we go over there to that store. Should be some supplies, plus we can get some lunch."

Brian started to walk towards the store when all the sudden a thought struck him like a lighting bolt.

"You...were pilot of an Evangelion weren't you?"
Last edited by honsou on Sat May 17, 2008 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sachi
Oh Daddy!
Oh Daddy!
User avatar
Age: 27
Posts: 10122
Joined: Aug 29, 2006
Location: Hollywoo
Gender: Male

Postby Sachi » Sat May 17, 2008 2:10 pm

"In the beginning...I resented being defenseless, but now with my aura back I feel more secure and this vessel being simply a vessel to operate in, like our old bodies. But......eh idano. I suppose that I...we...all of us would be more comfortable in our original bodies, but to me getting used to them is simply a matter of time. You'll get the hang of it. You are Adam's firstborn...nothing should truely stop you."

Sachiel remained quiet. Still thinking, but still paying attention. Sachiel hadn't made much of a change between bodies. His vessel had been humanoid, so it didn't take long to get used to his new one. His response would've been somewhere along those lines, but he didn't feel up to saying it.

"Sachiel whats wrong? You seem less of energy as of late, despite your full recovery and aura reemergence...is..is it about Adam? Whats up?"

The question had caught him by surprise. The surprise, Mother's disappearance had not affected him as much as it would in his past life. Before, his entire life was for his mother, Adam. Now, he wasn't sure what it was or where he needs to go.

"N-no...not that..." He bit his lip, thinking of the right words to say. "These Lilin bodies...seem to come with the same stresses as Lilin." Or was it something else? "I feel I need to communicate with others to survive." The masked boy wasn't sure if that made sense, or if that was even the real problem. He wasn't...sad. Just...lost in thought.

"Is that valid?"

--

The Angel of hail. Parasite. Bardiel.

On a empty train, in a place inside his mind, he sat facing down, tapping his foot as if he were nervous. Sitting across from him, Lilith, in her Lilin form.

Am I dead?

No.

Where am I?

Why do you hurt?

That doesn't answer my question.

Why do you hurt?

Answer me dammit!

Why do you hurt?

What the fuck is this!?

Is it because you're always striving to be someone you're not, and failing?

Is it because you can't be the best?

Is it because you don't like who you are?

Shuddup

Is it because you were beaten by a human?

Shut up!

Why then?

It's not true! I'm just fine!

Are you lying to me? Or yourself?

SHUT UP!
- Sachi

I host the discord server for the EvaGeeks forums. Join us! https://discord.gg/r6VrJD8

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
User avatar
Age: 35
Posts: 22964
Joined: Aug 13, 2006
Location: 私の中いる自分の心
Gender: Female

Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun May 18, 2008 7:51 pm

(OOC: Shinji's thoughts inside the Chair of Despair come from the Eva2 game, when he's thinking about things but has a very low AT (eg: 8 to 15 range). (After killing Kaworu-kun.) I might have mistranslated a few things, but the meaning should still be there.)

"Well, shall we go over there to that store? Should be some supplies, plus we can get some lunch."

Shinji wasn't feeling particularly hungry, seeing as he recently ate, but he decided that getting help from somebody was better then being completely alone. He walked in time with the man--who's name he still didn't know. Shinji's head was bowed, his eyes on the ground ahead of him.

"You...were the pilot of an Evangelion, weren't you?"

Hearing this sudden question from the man, Shinji's eyes meet the psychologist's and he nodded. The boy held up an index finger while nodding, hoping the man would realize he was the former Pilot of Unit-01.

Former pilot...

A sigh from his throat as his currently neutral expression went to being one of sadness, as if he was close to crying. Mother...where are you right now? Why couldn't you stay with me--even if it was only for a while--before leaving me forever?

Blinking back the tears in his eyes, starting to feel increasing panic in the pit of his stomach again, Shinji shook his head to clear it as he ran the rest of the way to inside the store.

***

This feeling I have is horrible...I'm trying to get rid of it and simply hang in there, I'm really trying to just do my best, and...

Heart heavy, the boy started to look for supplies in the store as a way to take his mind off things. He was able to find exactly the things he was looking for, including some pens and paper as the doctor recommended, but felt no emotion either way in doing so. He was simply doing things as expected of him at this point, once more taking on the role of the good boy who does as he's told without even having to be asked.

Suddenly, Shinji was no longer inside the store but now sitting in that chair inside the auditorium he was in during part of Instrumentality. It was somewhat of a welcome change of scenery from his Personal Hell, but...

His hands on his knees, Shinji shook his head in disbelief. "I hate everyone. And everyone hates me too. I don't want to be here anymore! Nobody's kind to me! Everyone is bad. They always use me!" Near tears, his voice cracking, he continued, "Why does it always have to be this way..."

His head bowed so his expression couldn't be seen, Shinji clenched his hands against his school pants so hard that his knuckles turned white as he continued speaking. "No! If it's going to be like this, I'd be better off dead...But, I don't have the courage to die... Somebody help me. Somebody care about me! Somebody be kind to me! Somebody stay with me!!"


Pale, Shinji blinked his now-wide, watery, eyes, as he suddenly collapsed onto the shop's floor, his back against a shelf, knees weak. The contents of toiletries, packaged food, and so on that he held in his now sweaty hands not even 5 seconds prior were haphazardly strewn around him on the tiled floor. His breathing grew heavy, body sweating, as his heart raced, he felt another panic attack start to occur. The thoughts that just took over his mind came completely out of the nowhere, or so Shinji had thought.

The boy's newest panic attack fully set in, leaving Shinji completely helpless in his current state. He tried to scream in fear yet no words escaped his lips, only quiet yet nervous-sounding squeaks and cries from his throat; making Shinji sound like a helpless animal--no, a Beast: that's what he was--recently wounded, unable to survive on their own.

That...what I just thought, it's not how I truly feel deep down inside, is it? It can't be! THAT JUST CAN'T BE! Somebody, please...HELP ME!
Last edited by Sailor Star Dust on Tue May 20, 2008 1:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Sachi
Oh Daddy!
Oh Daddy!
User avatar
Age: 27
Posts: 10122
Joined: Aug 29, 2006
Location: Hollywoo
Gender: Male

Postby Sachi » Mon May 19, 2008 7:36 pm

His gloved hands clutching his head in his lap, screaming at the silhouetted figure across from him in his personal hell train.

SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!

He hadn't noticed the person in front of him had changed. No longer the image of Rei Ayanami, but the very host that he himself had possessed before. Evangelion Unit-03. And then it's armor restraints ripped off, revealing a man-shaped goo substance. The true Bardiel. A parasite.

Why do you lie to yourself?

I DON'T! I DON'T! I'm just myself!!

Who is yourself?

Me! Bardiel! The 11th child! The 6th son! He began ripping off his clothing, showing his true nudity. I DON'T NEED TO PROVE MYSELF TO NO ONE!

You just did.

--

"SHUT UP!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Realizing a second later that he was in the lobby of the apartment complex at which he'd taken refuge along with his siblings and the bastard Lilin. Regaining his sense of reality, he noticed one of the bastard children next to him.

Kaji jumped up at the scream, startled by the Angel's rude awakening. "EH? Um...Good morning?" Kaji himself had fallen asleep in the chair next to Bardiel when he was supposed to be watching him. Upon observation, he could make out tears in the young Angel's eyes, like he just woke up from a horrible nightmare.

The two rose to their feet, almost simultaneously. "Can I get you something?" Kaji let roll of his tongue, an almost sarcastic tone in his voice.

"Can I leave?" Was the Angel's only response, before side-stepping to the left, only to be blocked by Kaji once again.

"So you can go try to kill yourself again? Why don't we talk this over with some breakfast. Some food will do you good."

Frowning. "I don't need food. I just want to return to mother."

"Food first. Then mother?"

Bardiel clenched his fist at the incompetent Lilin. Who is he to give me orders. I should just kill him and be on my way. But then he noticed the gun Kaji carried on him. Sighing, Bardiel nodded. "Very well."
Last edited by Sachi on Tue May 27, 2008 9:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Sachi

I host the discord server for the EvaGeeks forums. Join us! https://discord.gg/r6VrJD8


Return to “Role-Playing Related”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest