(OOC: Me thinks Shinji is finally starting to grow up.
Also, I made a slight reference to the EYED lyrics just 'cause it fits. And no way in hell is Manga-Shinji's attitude gonna surface.
"Take your damn hands off me... Don't you see your friends? You barely even acknowledged Suzahara... If you came back to this world to live, then you should start now instead of expecting me to do all the work for you..."
At Asuka's words, Shinji reluctantly removed his hands away from her back, ending his second feeble attempt to simply hold her.
He was at a total loss of what to say, mostly because Asuka's words had a tendency to always carry the weight of truth in them.....
The boy let out a loud, tired, sigh.
"You...you're right, Asuka. About everything. I really do care for you, but...maybe it is
just because you're closest to me. I guess my falling in love with you doesn't have much to do with it, after all."
Shinji couldn't help but feel depressed at that thought, despite his best efforts of ignoring the sudden pain in his heart.
He cleared his throat and sadly continued.
"I guess you are
still pissed off, considering you even kicked down that grave marker of yours after returning... Anyway, I think you're probably okay in terms of those injuries. It looks like Touji has his leg back, for one thing. And when you caressed me to stop....."
He trailed off at that, not wanting to remember what he had tried to do to her not even an hour ago.
When he was so bitter and upset--to the point of wanting sweet revenge-- for Asuka leaving him all alone, for her not returning sooner, for forcing Shinji to rely on himself and only himself...
"I....I'm obviously not a doctor or anything, but the fact that you could even move your right arm to begin with...I think that means your okay."
Noticing how Asuka was still glaring coldly at him, Shinji suddenly felt angry. Remembering everything he learned about her in Instrumentality and knowing she learned everything about him, the boy scowled at the redhead. Damn it.....
"And Asuka, cut the perfectionist crap already! Don't you dare
try to act innocent now. In case you forgot, how you treated me in the past doesn't help matters currently! Yes, I'm at fault for a lot of things, but so are you! BOTH of us need to do a hell of a lot of growing up and inner work if we want to become better people! But if you don't want to, that's your loss, I guess!"
After silently, angrily, staring at her for a moment, Shinji suddenly blinked in surprise as his eyes widened.Wait...what just brought THAT on? That...that's not like me at all!
Troubled, Shinji managed to regain his composure, mindlessly fingering Misato's pendent inside his pocket. Without thinking, Shinji suddenly put it back on his neck for the first time since rejecting Instrumentality as he spoke. I can't give up with things, now or ever. Misato-san and the others wouldn't want that, they don't want that....
"No...I can't stay angry at you. I know that in general, feeling angry provided you deal with it properly is normal. But regardless of everything that's happened, you were simply doing what you could given the circumstances. And so was I. So now, we both need to--or at least should--try to do what we can to become better people. I know you don't want to talk to me right now, and I know you didn't want to hear that, but. It, it needed to be said by somebody. That's all I wanted to say."
Sighing again, he briefly wondered just where his suddenly mature words came from. On the plus side, at least all this meant he hadn't gone completely
insane from isolation and that he was still in there somewhere
Standing up to go properly greet the others, Shinji calmly added, "And though I've been mostly staying out here each night, keeping vigil, there are some slightly demolished and abandoned but safe apartments in the next town. It's a few miles north of here. I was able to find food and water up there, and it seems the electricity works, too."
She was still giving him the silent treatment, glaring coldly.
His voice and his expression became gentle, not wanting to give up on the girl. "I know
you're still upset, but I just hope this isn't a final goodbye for us. If it's possible, I'd like us to be room mates again. Take care, okay, Asuka? I'll see you around."
Finding himself looking at the petrified, split in half head of Lilith far beyond the gravemarkers, Shinji frowned. Shaking his sudden thoughts to clear it, the brown-haired boy went to go greet his friends and let them know the situation of surviving.
It would be daybreak soon.