Star Trek

[Twin Drive Sigma Aquarion]

That is right folks, I, the number one expert of monsters of the week and the kaiju fandom devil, am going to take on what many consider the worst Star Trek movie out there! Why? I've seen the other four. If ANYONE brings up "TDSA this movie uses roman numerals, not arabic" I am going through my computer screen and coming out of your end with Kushiel and the five archangels of pain (aka my fists).

First off I'll let you guys know all of what I know about Star Trek:

-The first four movies
-Patrick Stewart is a captain named Picard
-One episode of the old TV series about a plant alien that loves salt or something
-Next Generation has an android and some guy of African descent that wears an eye band for blindness or something
-The Borg and them being invincible fantasy match wise or at least back in TK's old days; lord knows what is now with Darth Legion at the helm but that's another story
-The first two series aired on G4 and I went "what the hell is this?"
-Mythbusters had a myth involving an organic cannon and the Gorn.
-And playing the arcade shooter version of Voyager

And here is what I rank the movies:

1- Horrible
2- Okay
3- Good
4- Great

Lets see where 5 is among all these! Supposedly this won worst movie of the year at the Razzies, but considering how much of a joke they are they are literally no factor in this. Who knows, maybe I'll agree with them for once, but that is unlikely. The review will be in the not too distant future so until then live long and prosper, but only if your partner is willing.

[KingXanaduu]

Supposedly this won worst movie of the year at the Razzies, but considering how much of a joke they are they are literally no factor in this.

Well, your right on that front:

[url]http://razzies.com/asp/content/XcNewsPlus.asp?cmd=view&articleid=29[/url]

According to this, it actually was nominated for 6 Razzies and actually won 3:

Worst Picture: Star Trek V
Worst Actor: William Shatner (surprise! )
Worst Director: William Shatner (yet another surprise )

And for once, I agree with you TDSA. I was a huge Star Trek nerd when I was a moderately-sized little tyke, and I barely even remember ever seeing this crap! And this is coming from a kid that could watch the First Movie without getting the least bit bored!

[ZapX]

The general consensus is that all of the odd numbered TOS films are bad. 3 is sort of an exception. 5 is definitely the worst one.

[Seele00TextOnly]

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[Merridian]

Having recently watched the only TOS films that mattered, I can say now that Star Trek 4 was somewhat shitty; it exchanged the whole reason Star Trek was fun for a bunch of cheesy 80s jokes and dated environmentalist spiels. The only reason to watch it now is to hear "Nuclear Wessels" and to watch the Shatner strut his Shattastic groove.

Even 3 is better than 4, if only because Christopher Lloyd.

[BrikHaus]

1 - snooze fest
2 - great
3 - average
4 - pretty good, loljokes
5 - wtf terrible
6 - great
7 - wtf terrible
8 - pretty good
9 - snooze fest
10 - average
11 - great

[Guyver Spawn]

I'm a casual Star Trek fan, I like the series but I would not call myself a hardcore fan or anything. I remember watching the original series as a kid and never care for it. It could be that I started to get into Star Wars at the time. I seen most of TNG and enjoy it.

The Star Trek films that I seen.

1 - Alright
2- Great
3 - Good
4 - Tons of fun
6 - Good
7 - Okay
8 - Only seen parts of it, I plan to watch it soon since I order the Blu-Ray off from Amazon
10 - Dull
11 - Awesome

Nostalgia Critic got me into a Star Trek mood lately, I order Star Trek 2, 3, 4, 6 and 8 off from Amazon. I guess I should try to watch the original TV series since I remember Netflix has it to watch for free.

[Seele00TextOnly]

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[cyharding]

9 - Doesn't even merit mentioning, really. Utterly inexcusably bland and boring and pointless. A waste of space, a waste of money, a waste of time. Moving on.

10 - I hate this movie, even more than any of the others. It's so fucking stupid and cliche, it's like the worst of fanfiction. Some clone of Pickard? How absolutely contrived and insulting to my intelligence. I don't believe he was made, I don't believe he survived, I don't believe he got in charge of any group, I don't believe he took over the planet and went on the attack towards Earth, and I don't believe a single other one of his actions or motivations along from that point to the point where he's pulling the pole through his own chest. None of it holds up, not at any step along the way does it even hold up in relation to itself. These guys wanted to make a Khan to Pickard's Kirk and my god did they fail. Also every last thing about the driving scene is pointless and insultingly stupid. The only thing I liked at all about this movie was Data leaping across space between the ships. That was a great idea. Otherwise this is, bar none, the worst Star Trek movie. That's right, worse than 5. Oh yes, I went there.

Though it's been a while since I've seen these films, I can say that these two movies feel more like extended episodes of the Next Generation TV series than theatrical films. I know I got that feeling when watching movie 10 (and I have to agree with your opinion on the film. I remember watching it with one of my brothers and he was pointing out every single plot problem with the film. It was the most beautiful and awful experience I had watching a Star Trek movie). And I have read other people say the same thing about the Next Generation films. I think the reason is that many of the better and the two-parter episodes, especialy "The Best of Both Worlds," were very much like threatrical films. These episodes set the bar so high that the actual movies would struggle against them compared to the original 1960s tv series and the resulting first six movies.

[Seele00TextOnly]

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[NemZ]

Yep, pretty much agree on all points with Selee00textonly, including DS9 being the superior next-gen trek show (though it's first couple seasons were just plain horrible, even compared to first season TNG)

[EvangelionFan]

I like aspects of the seventh film, but that could just be me being sentimental. I see First Contact is getting some love here, and I used to like it to, but after enough viewings it becomes clear that it isn't a well-written as it could have been. I recommend watching the Mr. Plinket/Red Letter Media reviews of the TNG films as I learnt quite about how these films aren't so much 'films' as they are, in many ways, over-dramatisations of earlier storylines:

SPOILER: Show

Generations = 1/2 'Relics' + 1/2 '...All Good Things'
First Contact = 'The Best of Both Worlds /Part II' + additional 'good' female lead
Insurrection = 'Who Watches the Watchers' + additional 'awkward' female lead
Nemesis = 2/3 'Unifcation I/II' + 1/3 'Wrath of Khan' + sets recycled from the second Austin Powers

I find that with films 7-9, the opening sequences are the strongest sequence in each film. I could be being a bit harsh, but it's late, and I am fatigued by the screen glare. Also, if you don't believe me, consider that the same team who wrote and produced the TNG/DS9/VOY TV series went and produced the films - for the most part, great TV producers, but were they suitable for film producers?

[MugwumpHasNoLiver]

You guys are dorks. All of you.

All I've seen of Star Trek is a light scattering of episodes here and there. Awhile back my mom's wi-fi stopped working, so I needed to do all my web-based activities (read: jerking it to man on man porn and talking to you assholes) on my grandma's computer in the middle of the living room. (I have since retroactively declared myself Master of the Stealth Wank.) Since that was the same room was where my grandpa did all his television watching, and he's essentially a first generation Trekkie, I caught a few episodes now and then between loads. It was mostly Voyager, but there was also a lot of Next Generation and on occasion The Original Series. I was actually surprised at how not-stupid it was, but how much I got into it. I think I liked the characters on Voyager the most, for whatever reason. (I know there's a lot of fighting over whether Kirk or Picard is better, but where does Janeway fit into it? It don't know if it was that marvelous dykey bun, or her stout, porcelain teapot face, but I was drawn to her, man.) I actually don't remember much of the shows, other than it wasn't as insanely dorky as I thought it would be and actually kind of smart and fun.

Well, that's it for my worthless opinion. Good-bye forever thread.

[Azathoth]

Janeway is by far the worst captain of any Star Trek show, although it only becomes apparent if you watch a lot of the show. Which incidentally you shouldn't do, since the only real reason to watch the show was and is Seven of Nine's hilarious catsuit, and everyone involved in the show's production knew it. But yeah, she sucks. If you want to see why, I've always thought that guy who made the Evil Overlord List way back in the day had a pretty good comparison of the various ST shows going on with his parodies.

[SaltyJoe]

Personally, i don't find any of the Trek movies to be all that good. If i take II. and III. together, as one narrative unit (they kinda are) than this package is probably the best thing to have come out of the franchise's ventures on the big screen. Past that, besides V., all the old movies are passable, and all the Next Gen ones are kinda lame. XI. is decent popcorn fun.

I'm surprised, but not that much, that there are people besides me who thought that X. was the nadir. Sure, V. and VII. are horrible, but they are horrible in the way getting into an argument with a drunken hobo is horrible. At some level, they are at least stimulating. X. is just so tired, so bland, it's the worst kind of bad movie: techinically adequate and lethally boring (at least IX. had the craptacular special effects). Watching it felt like doing a menial chore, like washing the dishes. And the villain was the lamest antagonist since... the last one, and he stayed in that position 'till the next one (weakest point of the reboot movie).

[Twin Drive Sigma Aquarion]

Time for another movie review from TDSA! Is Star Trek 5 good or bad? Let us find out!


Music: Kind of stock

Pacing: Hit and miss

Lighting: Great to say the least

Dialogue: Surprisingly good

Video Quality: Well done

Action: Too little, but not bad

Effects: Good for it's time

Other notes: "Take me down to Paradise City" Guns N Roses. That and this movie does not deserve the flack it gets; I guess this movie just goes to show you that taking the Raspberries seriously is just plain silly. It is the best ST movie so far. Better than Dune, 'nough said.

Overall: Excellent

[NemZ]

trollololololol.

[ZapX]

Hey, TDSA, doesn't the lighting in the new Battleship movie look awesome?

[Defectron]

It is the best ST movie so far.

Overall: Excellent

I disliked star trek generations more then 5, lets see if TDSA likes it better.

[Twin Drive Sigma Aquarion]

Yes, Gummy, it does.

I disliked star trek generations more then 5, lets see if TDSA likes it better.

I have a rather strict "1 ST movie a year", but if Obama loses the presidential election this year it will be an obvious sign of armageddon to the point where I will say "screw it, I'm watching the other six movies".


For the love of whatever you follow by do NOT make your voting decision based on me reviewing a movie!

And NemZ thinks I'm a troll? That is cold.