I think this post will be of 20000 words,So hold tight.
And I will be using ai where I think my English is getting weak as english is not my primary language.
And consider it kind of a reply to you @IpPo2911
So in this post I will try to prove 'Shinji feels more than just simple attraction, Attachment and dependence'. By using canonical and secondary level of canonical example which will be almost unarguable and complementary to each other.
So simply I want to give a robust argument.
However I will go as far as saying that he loves in a way that is tinged heavily with trauma.
And try to read this to end because starting will be slow.
And I will also repeat one paragraph multiple times,Because the examples and points in this post are mutually complementing.Meaning if one gets weak,the other examples can support it more.Its like if someone wants to even contradict one example of paragraph,he has to justify other examples also.
And through this,if someone wants to contradict.It will be like almost contradicting what theme and narrative.
So here I go .
So here's 3rd draft(try).
This post is for people who keep insisting “Shinji is a 14-year-old hormonal kid who only wants to sexually use Asuka,” or that “he likes every female body” or “he sees her like everyone else” — those readings aren’t entirely wrong and are valid, but they’re small part of whatever he feels for her and reductive. Framing Shinji that way strips away the show’s emotional stakes and robs The End of Evangelion of its thematic weight: the series is interested in the quality of connection, trauma, and failed expression, not just adolescent lust. Reducing the story to “just attarction+ dependence” is like judging an iceberg by its tip — it misses what the work is actually about.
The show doesn’t say “Shinji doesn’t love anyone.” It shows that Shinji feels, sometimes deeply, for the people close to him — including Asuka — but his trauma and learned cowardice stop him from turning those feelings into what the series treats as a *beautiful, courageous act of love*. A parallel case is Kaji and Misato: they wanted to be together but failed to translate desire into commitment (Misato’s ambivalence, Kaji’s avoidance), which the series uses to dramatize how fear of getting hurt blocks real connection. That dynamic — love thwarted by fear and miscommunication — is a central Evangelion theme.
I
To comment more In TD;LR way,this is:-
1). Very reductive. It reduces everything to puberty + exoticism, ignoring the deeper layers of his trauma, loneliness, and the specific Asuka–Shinji dynamic.
2). Basically, this reading risks making his feelings sound shallow, like he’d react the same to any pretty girl, which Evangelion clearly shows isn’t true.
Now even before starting the true part let's clear some doubts immediately:-
((0).There is a difference between love,strong liking and s*x**l attraction.
There's also difference between loving someone and feeling love.)
1).Even traumatised teenage can feel love or strong liking for someone.
People shouldn't put themselves in place of Shinji to think that it is impossible for him to love someone.I think he is pretty much more traumatized than proper 80%-90% people here.but still shows more strength than those 90%.
2). Asuka's say like “You don't understand me ” can't be applied in this case as if a person has already spent enough time with the other person,The brain can easily understand stand the pattern in behaviour and other moods also,Hence having more of subconscious understand than a intellectual understanding.Iether way intelectual understanding is not everything.
(Warning NSFW:this (' 3).') Point will contain s*x**l content for purely explanatory purpose,People who are uncomfortable can scroll away.
(Imp).
3). Hospital scene is not a planned act,which i want to post about but can't as it will be too nsfw.
If someone has any problem,I can just give him my 18000-24000 large thesis just about ‘Use of Psychologically in The Hospital scene’ to prove that you cannot explain the character intentions of the scene just narrative and theme,In this scene,Psychology is a primary lense as the creator gave subtle but very clear clues that only those people can understand who have researched on it even as a fan.for example 'survival freeze' was shown then they gave a time skip to show that it took time for Shinji to get out of dissociation.Which is very common.
But for small review.Shinji's mental state in eoe was likely Severely depressed, Constant and severe Anxiety,Severe Dissociative state,Total loss of coping mechanism, Emotional collapse,Exhaustion,stress and clearly suicidal("the boy wanted to die").
Meaning even before the hospital scene his cognitive function is already pretty much mitigated.And he is in a survival state hence it is *almost impossible for him to see Asuka as a human with her own needs* and it's valid.
After that Shinji accidently,rips the gown.The we see a phenomenon called 'Survival freeze' which in this case makes it even worser.As Shinji already has a history of dissociation+his age+mental state makes him too much vulnerable to it.Due to freeze his prefrontal cortex completely shuts down and lymbic system takes control.Asuka was n*k*d.And Shinji has history of s*x**l fantasy for Asuka, due to survival freeze,Shinji has high visual awareness* without rationality*.Since his eyes were already on her,ganglia worked and Shinji's lymbic system matched the visual feed with his last histories of fantasies.This lead to ar**sal solely by lymbic system(survival state can increase ingrained coping mechanism) which is almost entirely plausible.Residuary memory for m*st*rb*tion(history of fantasy)kicked in with residuary memory of looking for privacy,As there's no way while private session Shinji will not look for privacy being AvPD+PPD person,therefore we see him locking the door and even that's not enough,The level of Dissociation should be too much,Because as I would say,what matters here is Past,Age,History of dissociation,Survival mode and survival freeze,hence it was already very unlikely Shinji will even lock a door.Hence the act happens with nearly no control.Then dissociative state for Shinji(After noting his age, past and mental state),It must have taken him from 1 minute to several minutes for prefrontal cortex to come back.
Meaning Shinji has partial controle or almost no controle over whole the act.
A fun fact is that a person like Shinji who is very vulnerable to dissociation due to his age,past,trauma, history of dissociation and current mental state.because past and trauma are factors responsible to open survival mode which is again lymbic driven in percentage.
So this was a very hasty explanation to already counter hospital scene as contradiction and don't worry this explanation will not contradict any symbolism.
And psychological accuracy can 80%-95% on rough.
So now starts my true post.So I will be using adv dub and pure translations.
*Undeniable canonical elements and examples which proves Shinji feels/has love/strong liking for Asuka*:-
1).The comment of radio:-So First canonical element is seen in episode 12.
Here Shinji had an increase in sync rate and gets praised.Asuka to this increase in sync rate is angry and explosive.(“Asuka: It's not wonderful!
Asuka: So, it was *good*! My, you actually received a word of praise...”)
(“Asuka: I'm going home first, idiot.”)(literal translations).
Now Shinji to this comment and irrational rejection feels hurt.But not your normal hurt.Now according to ‘radio’ which Evangelion uses as a *guide* to explain what characters are Feeling or what is happening says “Dont get all sulky because you got Dumped by a girl...”((“RADIO:“from "Mr. Wah" of Tokyo-2. But you know, don't get all sulky because you got dumped by a girl.””)).Which is direct comment on What is Shinji feelings and also matches his nature.
According to radio *Shinji feels like he was in a romantic relation with Asuka And that Asuka just dumped him in a romantic relationship* which is an romantic expression.Meaning it is confirmed That Shinji has proper romantic feelings for Asuka.Now this can be liking.
(The radio line in Ep.12 isn’t neutral background noise — it’s an authorial framing device: a piece of diegetic sound the creators place in the scene to nudge interpretation, so the DJ’s “don’t get sulky, you got dumped by a girl” signals the viewer to hear Shinji’s hurt in romantic terms. By itself it’s circumstantial, but paired with Ep.17’s synchronized blush, Asuka’s Ep.22 reframing, EoE’s accusations, and Anno’s lyrics, that cue becomes strong hermeneutic evidence (it raises the probability the intimacy reading is what the work intends). *(Small caveat: check the original Japanese wording if you need exact phrasing, since localizations sometimes shift tone.)*).(Still meaning through radio Anno wants us to see the hurt as an romantic expression).
Now this one will be longer as this example is interpretation dependent.But it's creator's intent still remains same(i.e intimacy).
2).Married clashes:-Episode 17.Asuka was angry about Shinji not bringing her bento.So they were having a loud commotion in class.
Toji sighs and says “What's this? Married couple fightin' again?”.Now this due to this both Asuka and Shinji become total red with same intensity at the same time,Then look down(classic anime trop for self introspection) with fulster on face in perfect sync,Then revolt at the same with same expression.
Don't take this as an simple rom-com anime trope.In Evangelion,everything has it's own purpose.As it was used in introspection of Asuka in episode 22' with an actual definite meaning.
Here the *The purpose of the creator was to show that both Asuka and Shinji have held back wish of having 'intimacy' with each other that Toji revieled ,Hence they had such blush and recoil*.
Hence this shows Shinji wants intimacy with Asuka,Which can be called pretty much the theme of Evangelion on my subjective view.
Now because this is interpretation dependent let me add something in short or long.
So here's a chat gpt+my opinion(i have used premium version of chat gpt because I was exhausted but don't worry it's correct as I checked it).why this blush is important.And not only related to s*x**l desire but intimacy also.Again theme and narrative of the whole series combine also supports it.Also next examples will support this.
((“The Ep.17 lunch-blush reads as intimacy, not mere leering, once you treat it as one node in a converging web of evidence rather than an isolated gag. Cinematically the beat is coded as mutual, social embarrassment—Toji’s “married couple” prompt invokes a domestic/intimacy role rather than crude sex, both Shinji and Asuka flush and look down in perfect synchrony, and they deny it together with identical body language, which in anime visual grammar signals a shared affective reaction (not two different private thoughts). Crucially, the show itself later replays and reframes that very moment inside Asuka’s Ep.22 interior montage, an authorial move that retroactively treats the lunch-blush as psychologically meaningful rather than throwaway comedy.
That visual cue sits inside a pattern: Shinji’s repeated, Asuka-specific behaviour (apologies, protective efforts, the bedside/door moments) plus Asuka’s EoE-level accusations about his fantasies and her judgment that he “doesn’t truly love”(meaning he feels love but don't act)her all point to feeling-without-healthy-expression rather than no feeling at all. (See detailed scene/theory analyses of their interactions.)
On top of the text, we have authorial/lyrical evidence: Anno-penned/Associated songs explicitly tie Shinji’s longing to Asuka — Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed literally includes “I wanted to kiss her,” and Komm, süsser Tod (with original lyrics by Hideaki Anno) and related OST material were composed to frame Instrumentality’s intimacy/desire themes — production-level signals that the creators meant closeness/intimacy to be part of Shinji’s psychic horizon.
Taken together — synchronized blush + the Ep.22 reframing + behavioural patterning + Asuka’s EoE diagnosis + Anno’s lyrical commentary — the best explanation (abductive, not absolute proof) is that Shinji’s Ep.17 blush indexes a subconscious wish for intimacy/closer relationship with Asuka, not only a generic horny reaction; to overturn this you must coherently explain away all of these independent, converging signals at once. ”))
Again *Warning this is NSFW*.So read this on you own risk and don't worry it's nothing that inappropriate as it's purely fro analytical purpose.So just scroll it if you don't want to read it.
So here we come to second last canonical examplem.
And from from start example from The End Of Evangelion.
So come to hell train sequence between Asuka and Shinji in eoe.
Here Asuka's dialogues are “I know you use me as a side dish,Do it again like you always do,in front of me,I will watch it.
If i can't have all of you i don't want any”
Now this dialogue is significant because according to Asuka Shinji only or mostly Fantasiesed(m*st*rb*ted on her thoughts) Asuka.After so much of that s*x**l theme of Evangelion ,i know it would be understandable that this would sound rediculous.So for that purpose let's first debunk some of the s*x**l themes through proper psychology.
Episode 20’s “trinity” / “become one with me” sequence is not best read as a literal catalogue of Shinji’s private mstrb*tion targets, but as an Instrumentality / Yui-mediated projection that borrows familiar faces to stage his inner conflict. In other words, the film uses the faces of Rei, Misato and the others as avatars inside a symbolic, amplified montage — the scene manifests Shinji’s sx**l frustration and longing in metaphor, not a shot-by-shot record of whom he jerks off to. That fits how Evangelion visualizes interior life elsewhere: for example Shinji’s “Enemy — enemy — enemy must be destroyed” moment is immediately followed by a sequence of him stabbing a shamshell that functions as a stand-in for Gendo (the manga even makes that substitution explicit,where Shinji stabes Gendo and blood splutters from him); the image is a symbolic enactment of projection by yui of his hate, not a literal shell. By the same logic, the trinity images are projections built on preexisting feelings and frustrations. At age 14 sx**l frustration is developmentally normal and should be important on a medical basis, and since Shinji increasingly desexualizes mother-figures like Misato, the idea that the show meant to depict straightforward mstrb*tion to “mother” images is less convincing than the psychological/projection reading.
When Asuka says, “I know you use me as a side dish — do it again like you always do, in front of me, I will watch it. If I can’t have all of you I don’t want any of you,” she’s alluding to the hospital incident but barely lingers on it; instead she immediately pivots to his habitual private fantasies. One possible reading is that she’s accusing him of never trying to understand her and merely using her — that’s valid, but it’s not the strongest reading. Taken together with her dare (“do it in front of me”) and the closing sting (“if I can’t have all of you…”), the clearer interpretation is that Asuka is shaming him for hiding his feelings and refusing *reciprocity*. In other words, she’s not just criticizing the incident itself; she’s demanding that he stop retreating into private escapes and instead show his affection to her. Read this way, her lines function as both accusation and plea: “Don’t lock your feelings away in secret — reveal them to me, honestly, rather than bury them.” and that's the theme of Evangelion.Your further doubts about barely alluding hospital scene and concentrating mostly on his fantasies are explained by my previous explanation about hospital scene as it targets Shinji's fantasies.because that scene has clear and intentional psychological elements.
.(this is chat gpt modified to increase your understanding as english is not my primary language,And also treat fantasies as 'mstrbating on thoughts').
(Now this is very important whatever I have written below,make sure eto read it).
Now why all this means Shinji only or mostly fantasiesed Asuka is logical.Because think About it.Asuka is shaming Shinji,even if it is for not understanding her.
Asuka is fiercely possessive of Shinji.Even while saying these dialogues,we see her blocking the view of Shinji for Rei and then pinning her body in front of him.This already shows how desperate she is for him.And till that moment Asuka was shaming in literally any way possible meaning she is using everything.
And one can not forget *She wants Shinji all for herself*.
Now if that's the case.Why wouldn't she insert Shinji's fantasies about others?If Shinji had done it ,instead of Saying “I know you use me as a side dish” she would have said “pervert,I know is me and them as side dish”.
But she didn't.
So by applying this logic
.Its means Shinji hadn't been fantasiesing Misato and Rei enough that it did not crossed the red line in perspective of Asuka which will make fierce person like Asuka to say something
And also psychologically.
“When a connection is read impossible,brain takes fanatsies as a 'safe' outlet ”.
And given the situation.That's exactly what is Asuka saying in that scene.
By indirectly meaning that Shinji has something for Asuka but is too afraid to show her.
Even by looking at songs like Everything you've ever dreamed which is author appeoved ,they never say Shinji fantasiesed any one except for Asuka's interest for Kaji“kiss you with a kiss that wasn't true ,it wasn't you at all”.
Now this kind a proves that *Asuka is his centre of romantic interest*or she and his romantic interest revolves around her.
As he has sxual frustration for two more ladies but he is only validating one.
That's more than liking on logical perspective.
4).“You don't truely love me”:-One of the clearest, most decisive pieces of evidence is Asuka’s line in the Hell Kitchen: “You don't truely love me, You don't even love your self.You are the only one who can sympethise with yourself”. The phrasing matters. She doesn’t say simply “You don’t love me” — if she meant total absence of feeling, the line would read that way and the narrative’s stakes would collapse. Instead she says he does not *truly* love her, which is best read as an accusation that Shinji feels something for her but cannot turn that feeling into a genuine, meaningful act of love. Read on its own, then, the line functions as a diagnostic: it acknowledges inner feeling while condemning Shinji’s inability to express it as a “beautiful” act. For that reason the statement is weighty and persuasive evidence that Shinji harbors love/strong liking for Asuka.(Chat gpt enhanced vocabulary and grammar).
And if one wants to know if Shinji's lie matters.The ans is that,it is very complicated.
Now for the same of the length I will not explain much and give hasty explanation.
Despite having less severe state as compared to Asuka previously before pre intrumentality.Shinji still has worser mental state than Asuka.Shinji is very suicidal to this point("The boy wanted to die”)(it is very common for suicidal people to lash out when provoked,in this case rejection is not the only thing,her brutal shower of truth was also a major factor) depressed and anxiety as he is impulsive compared to Asuka who still has will to live and is very rational and is showing complex thoughts.
So offcourse think it yourself.*How will a person in such state make words on the spot?**He is very very desperate*.To the point I can say he is *not even thinking something.*
Hence he should use mental shortcut.
And Shinji is not lying to Asuka but *lying to himself* mostly.
So what i mean is that *Desperatiom is bridge to true feelings* here.Meaning whatever Shinji says like “I want to be with you” and “i want to help you in some way” are his *genuine feelings*.also,if you want to understand which feeling is genuine or not shown by Shinji in that scene.Just search from *how old are those feelings are*, meaning *Older is the feelings Shinji conveys there,More genuine and truthfull is the feelings* ,*But are hollow only at that times as he is saying them to get the help*.Hence those dialogues that I jst wrote are true feelings.However “you are the only one who can help me Asuka” is not genuine imo as i don't think him wanting help from her is very old like wanting to be with her which is literally from episode 12 and wanting to help her(he is concerned for herany times).
Hence those true feelings but are tainted with trauma induced selfishness at that moment.
5). lyrics:-I don't think I have to explain very much about it. As some songs written by anno himself are kind of primary to lower secondary level of canon. Even unused song Everything you've ever dreamed is approved by author.Making it a kind of secondary level of canon.As far as i remember there was a team to super vise this song.
Now here in orignal song which I think was to be played in First B where we would have seen Shinji with mutilated arm of Asuka showing she is dead this song would have been played in the end.
“i wanted to kiss that girl” and here kiss directly means intimacy or to love Asuka poetically.
For official lyrics,“Did she throw your love away”,again showing feelings of love.
In short most the lyrics related to there relation shows that Shinji and Asuka both want intimacy.And that's what I need to tell you.
And this is also most of powerful points as this supports any other point.
6).some 'meh' level of points that people usually ignore:-Shinji even after such shitty treatment by Asuka,still wants to help her from bottom of his heart.For Example we watch him trying to comfort Asuka in th end scene of episode 22'.where He most probably knows what will come after he tried to reach her,But he still being uncomfortable,he did it.Showing his commitment for her.And even after that in episode 23',he was Shown standing out of the door of Asuka's room which means he again wants to help her but is too afraid.
And that's how it is.People literally think“oh he is not doing anything,he feels nothing for anyone”........ But by saying such things you are literally taking away what does she whole fucking show wants to say.That is *reach out* if you have feelings,don't just let them rust or get wanted before the time runs out.Communicate.
And that was when he was actually spiralling down himself.And Shinji is not a normal child.He is a child with AvPD and PPD with stunted emotional growth.
Even wanting to help in such situation is a big feet for a child like him.getting out of your comfort zone.But why he couldn't reach out that easily as he does in case of Rei is also because Asuka herself is agressive.(well she is also a factor in it)(her spiky wall of aggression).
I don't know if I should write more but this is enough imo maybe.
Either way I was gonna post this at reddit but I thought I should update the previous one to.
Edit: sighh I think I just made an imaginary dialogue “You don't truely love me” with actual dialogue “You never truly loves anybody” in my head and I don't know why(sighh I was very busy for getting any canonical cue so maybe that did it).
But again it's didn't changed much since I still have secondary canonical elements which is lyrics of both Everything you've ever dreamed and maybe orignal komm Susser Tod where Shinji is just beating himself for hurting Asuka.
These are secondary level of canon and best of all it doesn't contradict anything.Yeah anything.
So yeah this already makes it pretty much more stronger than any interpretation in head.
So yeah I am still letting this there.
I know you will not read but to satisfy myself 
) .i don't think that is true.Remember he don't show any intrust in Asuka until that sunset of episode 9.He doesn't like kensuke and toji until he gets to know they care,Again remember no one was able to recognise that something was wrong with toji during episode 19,only Shinji ,which shows he had a good friendship with him.However as I said your accusation becomes right after bardiel as he slowly becomes desperate. And that was the point where I agree with you,but not before that.
