Parallels between Shinji and Asuka's journey as the show ends

[marchon]

A show observation I've been mulling over is that Shinji and Asuka go through some of the same story beats and themes at the end of the show, but Asuka hits her beats first.

• Attempted suicide: Asuka in 24 and Shinji in 25'.
• Anger at the Other "not being there for them": Asuka in 22' (during the Arael attack, expressing anger at Shinji for not breaking down the Wall of Jericho, not handling the kiss the way she wanted, etc), and Shinji in 26' (begging in the hospital scene, but more overt in the kitchen scene, and to some extent the hell train when he expresses his frustration that Asuka always seems to be pushing him away).
• Reconciliation with their mother: Asuka in 25' and Shinji in 26'
• Their level of growth and recognition about self-hate: more nebulous but I think Asuka has realized this in 26' during the kitchen scene. She's calling it out because she's also seen it in herself as well. Shinji has not reached that level of self-awareness yet, that comes later.
• The 'breaking scream' - Asuka in 22' with the flashing kanji, Shinji in 26' after the kitchen scene with his Rei conversation - "Is it alright for me to be here?" (silence). (An aside, there's an interesting analysis of what this means for Shinji here, https://skapbadoa.com/2019/05/29/end-of ... -iii-2017/)
• Increasingly acting detached and borderline catatonic - Asuka starting in 23 after the Arael attack leading into her suicide attempt and even in 25' huddled in 02, Shinji starting in 25' as he is dragged along, passively does nothing when Misato kisses him (remember his reaction just a few episodes earlier), and all but nonfunctioning as he hears Asuka's dialogue fighting off the MPEs
• This is more plot related but submission by the MPEs: Asuka in 25' and Shinji in 26'

I think this leads into Asuka being able to touch Shinji as he's choking her at the end of EoE, since she has processed more of her trauma; instead of looking at the Other and seeing if they can reject, seeing if they can accept.