I mean at the end she
also says that she'll "find her happiness after protecting everyone" which suggests that she sees something beyond her piloting job, too.
It's her
at first lamenting her ending/ thinking she 'missed out' - didn't win everything, become the MC/get all the glory, didn't "get the boy" etc.
Like, most of Shikinami's problems seemingly get resolved just because she gets paired with a guy.
I don't see it that way at all.
Actually they get resolved because she
accepts emotional comfort from others. (Not just Kensuke, but Mari)
They leave it pretty ambiguous if they're even an item, easily be read as just friends. (probably precisely to avoid "dick fixes everything" type narrative) - if you want to imagine she got a BF you can (the 'departure' scene appears to have been directed to hint at it), but it's not the essential thing & if it was it wouldn've been explicit.
The main bit is becoming able to receive/ process comfort.
The final instrumentality sequence is just the last realization at the end after the development came before.
The younger Asuka always bristled away from anyone trying to show her comfort, usually she saw it as pity & it upset her even more. Certainly when it's Rei & Shinji you have the complication that they're not very good at it & also perceived as rivals, but she has that reaction even when it's Hikari being sincere & heartfelt.
At the same time she desperately wants it, so her contradictory desires trip each other up (endless back & forth of "I want to live alone... no that's tough, someone stay with me! No fuck you go away")
She reflects on how she always had to tough it up 'cause no one's there & then the realization is that hey that's no longer the truth, here is someone there.
The puppet that was a symbol of her needing to comfort herself plopps its head off and reveals a real person who's actually been by her side for a good while now.
The "crying inner child" depiction identical to what we've seen in eps 22, 15 and 25' representing her hidden emotional needs behind her tough facade but she gets told that actually she can be accepted/ is fine the way she is WITH her emotional needs.
She actually has friends who DID "stay with her" even at her worst as a grizzled scarred damaged war veteran (rather than a promising child prodigy), at this point all she had left to do is let them in, acknowledge that she wants & likes being comforted & stayed with.
It's someone who is "stuck" in a traumatic past realizing & processing that she's actually out of the sucky situation now that she's an adult. (which allows her to actually
feel like an adult, represented by her looking like one / bursting out of her "old identity")
But rather than by rejecting "childlike" things & trying over the top to be independent (like she did as an adolescent) true maturity actually comes from accepting & acknowledging that childlike, needy part. We go
directly from the shot of the "inner child" finally being validated to Asuka's wakeup cut as her "true self" / looking her actual age. Representing how she actually feels mature rather than feeling "stuck".
It doesn't really hinge on anything about romantic fulfillment/fantasy in particular. But she has to give up her toughguysm/ "wanting care is pathetic" mindset, which was always a limiting belief, & that involves
accepting comfort from another human person. If you see that as identical to "getting all problems solved by a guy" (= being a pathetic damself), maybe you have some problem with counterdependence & toughguyism yourself. I mean, how are you supposed to learn to accept comfort from others... without being comforted?
In a way she was already kinda getting there when she talked to Misato prior to the Bardiel fiasco but at that point everything went to hell causing her to end up somewhat fixated on her 'last few good memories' / the point where her adolescence rudely interrupted by the apocalypse (but at that point it's all very rebuild-specific)
What's particular about Kensuke & Mari is simply that they have enough 'people sense', confidence & goodwill to actually see through her facade. (which Shinji & Misato didn't)
But that's not a pie in the sky unrealistic wish fulfillment requirement, considering lots of more extroverted fans constantly go "why don't those idiots see her need for comfort"/ think it's not that difficult to see.
Although she still has to accept it/ allow it before it can make her happy (similar to how it takes Shinji several weeks in the village before it gets into his skull that Rei, Touji & co actually care about him / breaks through his own limiting inner axiom that everyone secretly hates him)
As fo
r the classic Asuka in the short, she seems, if anything, to be set on a similar trajectory where she also arrives "protecting" & moves past "not getting the guy" but in a way that lets her have some positive/ validating closure on it/ feel like it was her choice.
Again in the end the short is very similar to the TV ending & it's emphasis on how when you stop seeing yourself as a passive victim of circumstance & realize how much of your life is a result of choices & of who you are, it becomes easier to accept what happened in the past & have a sense of agency for the future.
Asuka doesn't act passive on the surface, but the TV ending points out she actually had that same problem of expecting what she wants to just come to her.
The rationale with which Classic!Asuka rejects all the wish fulfillment scenarios is that they
"don't feel right for her" / don't seem like they're really her. She explicitly emphasis this in the one where she gets praised by her mother & step-mom. That just... didn't happen & she'd be a very different person if it did.
I think a point/ idea here is that when you're aiming for / trying to portray a grandiose version of yourself you're also rejecting the real you & you feel shame because of that mismatch. The "sillyness" of the scenarious isn't just for comedy but also underlining how they don't feel real or solid.
She's also briefly in the role of different characters similar to how in ep 22 we hear the other characters say her catchphrases to emphasize it's a facade anyone could perform. The one where she's on the moon in Kaworu's place is a "naked people are funny" gag but trying to be in the shoes of Shinji & Rei is probably a more serious examination of her envy/jealousy of them (bit sad there wasn't a Misato segment, but I guess there wasn't time... or they couldn't get a hold of Mitsuishi?)
So the journey in the short can be seen as an exercise of trying to get a feel of what feels authentic for her.
I feel like many ppl relate to her because they share her struggles with feeling a need to be tough/counter-dependent, but then never question it & how it's shown to effectively destroy her / don't go further to see the deconstruction of those traits & treat her like she's basically supposed to be correct by default in everything she says.
Way too many fics where she basically just lectures the other characters but never really changes (other than by having what she wants handed to her by Shinji suddenly transforming into ManlyMan McExtrovert). Extra points if she's calling out ppl on "wish fulfillment" as if getting to trash talk everyone isn't also just that.
& that's just... sad? Boring? There's enough meat to her that you can deconstruct/analyze her & show her growing/learning too. But step 1 is admitting you have a problem.
(this is why I've always liked the alt live action scene, cause it really analyzes/ deconstructs her MO)
I'm seeing a lot of takes like "Look Asuka does everything right unlike those other pathetic weaklings, look at her just instantly just giving the Designated Correct Answer", without focussing/ looking at what she actually
learns during the short. (or elsewhere in the story) or giving a thought to
why she arrives at the answer.