Why both endings are the same and the psychology behind them

[viperzero]

A common long standing sentiment is that the last two episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the film End of Evangelion are at odds with one another. The idea goes that the ending of the TV show is an ending where Shinji accepts instrumentality and End of Evangelion he rejects it. By going over the psychological framework in the show I would like to show that Shinji definitely rejects instrumentality in both endings.

Though well know for its references to psychology, the first half of Evangelion mostly does not contain them save episode 4 Hedgehog's dilemma (which apparently was made out of production order). This part of the series builds characters and world building. The show has a fascinating ability to flesh itself out scene after scene without truly elaborating on anything.


The first half of the show is quite compelling but it’s not exactly what the show would become. The November 1996 Newtype interview has lots of interesting insight. Namely director Anno claims he was not familiar with psychology before reading a book on a production break (interesting as a previous work of his GunBusters has a character named Freud Jung).

“Ueno: "They say it's about psychoanalysis and personality seminars and stuff, but I've always had a strong interest in psychology in general, "
Anno: "Not at all."
Ueno: "Did you feel like you were heading in that direction while working on Eva?"
Anno: "Yes. It was natural.
I had never read any psychoanalysis books before. I only touched on it a little in my general education classes at university. It was the most interesting of them all."
Ueno: "So, somehow, a keyword or something like an interest stuck in my mind."
Anno: "Yes. I guess I wasn't that interested in humans. But when I started talking about myself, I wanted words to convey my story.
So, the words I thought were the easiest to use were psychological terms commonly used in society. And I started looking through books.
Until then, I never thought I'd be interested in psychology."” Newtype November 1996

He continues

“Anno: "Episode 16 was the first time. I plunged directly into my own inner world. I'd tried expressing words through line drawings before.”

Episode 16 (apparently the first episode of the second half to enter production) is called Splitting of the Breast, this is a term from Psychoanalysis Melanie Klein’s theories. Klein founded a school called object relations theory, whereas classic Freudian theory is of biological drives, object relations is a theory where people develop via interactions with others and a drive for relation with others. Internal objects are our mental representations of others, parts of others, and sometimes things (and external object would be the actual thing). We form internal representations of others based on our repeated interactions with them. Further we develop a mental representation of ourselves in relation to these objects which influence our interpersonal relationships through our our lives.

These mental representations or internal objects are called UnconsciousPhantasy. The Ph to distinguish from fantasy, ordinary everyday daydreaming and imagination, fantasy is an consciousness process while phantasy is unconscious and underlies all mental activities. Our unconscious phantasy is our relationship with the objects formed by experience to develop the emotional and intellectual character of a person, their thoughts, dreams, and defense mechanisms.

For the most part mental representations take these forms

The object as perceived by the individual
Self perception related to the object
Individuals relationship with the object

Or

Mom is a good object because she takes care of me
Because she takes care I must be good, have value
I love my mom

Alternatively

Mom is a bad object she ignores me when I need her
Because she ignores me I must be bad and worthless
I hate my mom

The infants mind however is limited due to the nature of infant cognition. When the child is born it is undifferentiated from the world around it. The first other person is the child’s mother. As the child is totally dependent on the mother for survival, the mothers breasts (or a bottle) provide life giving subsistence to the helpless child. The child internalizes the breast as a “good” internal object. However when the child’s needs are not met, when it’s hungry or scared and no one is around to feed or comfort or otherwise care for it, it internalizes a “bad” breast. Infants “split” objects because they are not yet able to understand ambiguity. The good aspects of an object and bad aspects of an object are seen as separate objects.

A good object is soothing and takes care of a child. In Psychoanalytic terms good objects are associated with the Life force, Libido, Eros the will to live. A child feels omnipotents with the good object (I cry the good object takes care of me).

A bad object is an anxiety producing object, an object that does not meet a vulnerable baby's needs. a child feels persecuted by the bad object it feels a loss of omnipotents by the object not being around when needed making the child feel powerless. Bad objects are associated with Dustrudo, Thanatos, the Death drive, a desire to return to an inorganic state before the stresses of life. A child can’t handle these feelings and projects aggression at the bad object to reassert control.

This state of coping with the world is called the paranoid schizoid position, where good objects are “protected” by being split into bad objects. If a caregiver is adequate the child will move to what’s called the Depressive position. In that stage a child realizes the good and bad objects were the same the whole time. The child feels regret for its treatment of the bad object (which along with the good object is now a whole object) and fears losing its loved ones.

Returning to Evangelion Episode 16
Early in the episode during a routine test Shinji’s sync ratio surpasses Asuka’s for the first time. Misato praises Shinji in an effort to improve his morale, angering Asuka. Though never competitive Shinji has made it clear he pilots the Evangelion for his fathers praise and he takes the news well. During a train ride Shinji is a bit overly excited and some young children laugh at him causing distress.

Later the angel Leliel attacks, with his new found confidence Shinji charges in against orders and he and Eva unit 01 are absorbed by the Angel. Later Shinji awakes on what seems to be a train and senses a presence

Shinji : Who?
Who?

Shinji ' : IKARI Shinji.

Shinji : It's me.

Shinji ' : I am you.
One has another self inside within oneself.
The Self is always consisted of two selves.

Shinji : Two ?

Shinji ' : The self who's actually watched by others and
the self who wathces itself.
IKARI Shinji in your mind.
IKARI Shinji in KATSURAGI Misato's mind.
IKARI Shinji in Souryuu Asuka's mind.
IKARI Shinji in Ayanami Rei's mind.
IKARI Shinji in IKARI Gendou's mind.
Any IKARI Shinji is differnt from each other,
but each of them is true IKARI Shinji.
You're afraid of IKARI Shinji in other's mind.

Leliel takes the form of a young Shinji, from around the time he was abandoned by his father. He tells Shinji that he has an internal Object of himself and others have an Internal Object of him. Shinji is afraid of what the others think of him because he certainly doesn’t think highly of himself.

Shinji : I'm afraid of being hated.

Shinji : You hate to be hurt.
Who's bad ?
Father is bad.
Father who deserted me.

Shinji : I am bad.

-
(flashback)

Asuka : This way you always think yourself bad!
That is "self-punishing."

-
(flashback)

Shinji : Heck, it's me who can do nothin'.

Misato :It's you that think you can do nothing?

-
(flashback)

Rei : Don't you trust your father ?

-
(flashback)

Shinji : (thought) I think I hate father. But I'm not sure.

-
(flashback)

Gendou : Well done, Shinji.

-
Shinji : Father called me by my name.
I was praised by that my father.


Leliel tries to tell Shinji that Gendo is no good but Shinji is reluctant and points the negativity at himself. Shinji originally disliked Gendo but since he praised him Gendo is a “Good Object” who brings Shinji validation and comfort.

Shinji ' : You'll live with chewing the cub of the pleasure.

Shinji : If I trust this word, heck, I can live on from now on.

Shinji ' : ... by deceiving yourself ?


Leliel points out this is no way for anyone other then an infant to live. Holding up with your “good objects” while ignoring the bad is immaturity.

live.

Shinji ' : Unless you continue to think you may not change yourself,
you can't live on.

Shinji : There're too many pains in this world for me to live.

Shinji ' : For example, you cannot swim ?

Shinji : Human aren’t made to float.

Shinji : It's self-decetion.

Shinji : I don't care whatever you refer to it.

Shinji : You have been closing your eyes and turning your ears deaf
against anything you did not want to know.

-
(flashback from the episode 3)

Kensuke : Sorry, but his younger sister was ...
-
(flashback from the episode 4)

Misato : This is not your business to care others!
-
(flashback from the episode 1 )

Gendou : Get Out!
-
Shinji : No, I don't want to hear that!

Shinji' : Hey, you run away again.
No one can live on with linking things one enjoys like
the rosary.
Particularly, I cannot.

Shinji : I found one thing I enjoy.
Am I wrong if I do the thing enjoyable?
--


To summarize, Shinji hates himself because of his neglectful upbringing. For the first time in his life he’s gotten some measure of praise and he’s determined to hold on to it even at the expense of ignoring the still harsh realities of his life. This however is not resolved in this episode. Evangelion 01 goes berserk at the last minute saving Shinji and killing Leliel.

The last two episodes take place during the human instrumentality project, the goal of Seele and Shinji’s father Gendo. Gendo describes instrumentality

Gendou: No,
It's not that everything returns to nothingness.
It's nothing but returning everything to the begining.
Nothing but returning things to the mother which
has long since been lost.
All the minds become one mind, obtaining peace forever.
Nothing but that.

If mother is the first other this is before that, before polarizing good and more importantly bad objects that cause pain. Frued called the pre object faze “The Oceanic Feeling” a feeling of oneness with everything, inspired by Hindu mystics of his time.



Shinji: What feeling is this?
That is what I feel like I experienced before.
My body seems like dispearing.
Agreeable.
I feel like spreading, and becoming large,
to here, there and everywhere.


Evangelion references Kabbalah but any nonduelistic mysticism would give the same point. If our bad feelings about ourselves comes from our relationship with others who we need to feel good, instrumentality seeks to merge all souls into one to avoid those negative aspects.

Shinji lost his mother at a young age and his father was neglectful and abandoned him. He has feelings of worthlessness because of this. Piloting an Eva was the first time in his life he was needed and praised, the first time he had a sense of value. He doesn’t however like doing it and is aware one day he will not be needed as an Eva pilot. The Angels will be defeated and then what need will anyone have of him? He runs away from this.



-
You pilot Eva for the sake of others?
-
Shinji: Yes!
That is a good thing.
That is a very good thing.
Everyone prases me, then.

Asuka: That's a lie.
Shinji: What?

Asuka: You idiot?
After all, it's for the sake of oneself.

Shinji: Eh?

Asuka: And you excuse yourself as usual.

Shinji: Do I?

Asuka: To think that you are doing your best for the sake of others
is itself an easy way to live.

Shinji: Is that so?
-
Asuka: In other words, you are lonely, Shinji.
-
Shinji: Is that so?

Asuka: That's nothing but a dependent or symbiotic relationship.

Shinji: That might be.

Asuka: All you wish is that people depend on you.

Shinji: That might be.

Asuka: All you do is to wait for someone's giving you a happiness.
A false happiness.

Rei: That's the very thing you do.

Asuka: WOW.

—
Later

Shinji: I was praised by people!

But, not happy.

Rei: Which is your true mind?

Shinji: I don't know, or, both of them are my true minds.

Misato: So piloting Eva.

Shinji: I have nothing but Eva.

Rei: Otherwise you cannot keep yourself?

Misato: It's true that Eva Unit One is part of your mind.

Ritsuko: If you depend on Eva too much,
Eva itself will be yourself.

Ryouji: Eva will be all of yourself.

Misato: The true yourself will be nowhere.

Shinji: It's OK. I've had nothing from the begining.
I've been learning cello, but results nothing.

Asuka: I did not try to do from your side.

Shinji: But, now that I can pilot Eva.

Asuka: And, when you lost Eva, you can do nothing, like me.

Why pilotting Eva?

Shinji: Because it's all of me.


Asuka’s mother killed herself when she was young. Similar to Shinji Asuka pilots the Eva for others not to abandon her, while at the same time wanting to be completely independent and unhurtable. She tries to validate this adultness by making romantic moves toward an adult man Kaji and to an extent Shinji who is also a prodigy Eva pilot (a cornerstone of her identity) but also seemingly meek and passive, giving an extreme love hate relationship between them.


Rei is the soul of Lilith in a cloned body of Yui, she has no past or upbringing and has very little self concept, only kept going by pacing moments of kindness from Gendo and later Shinji. She seeks death, a return to a simpler state but waivers in the attachments she’s made with others. Rei has begun to understand she has developed a self image from her time with others

Rei: I am I.
I've become me in the instrumentality of the links
between me and others.

Rei: I've been formed by the intercouse with others.

Rei: The intercouse with people and the flow of time change
the shape of my mind.
-
Those are bonds?
-
Rei: Yes. Those've formed me so far, the thing called Ayanami Rei.
And, those will form me from now on.
-
Those are bonds?
-

She no longer just wants to die but wonders if her new humanity is compatible with her true nature.

Misato seemed to have a normal relationship with her mother but had a very strained one with her father who later died saving her. Misato as a result has a much more stable personality save her odd relationships with men. She falls in love with Kaji a man she notes is very similar to her father, she breaks up with him because of this but then years later they meet again and get back together in short time. Before he comes back and again after his death Misato is also flirty and inappropriate with Shinji who is only 14 while she is 29.

Misato: You tried to find a peace on Kaji-kun's face.

Misato: NO!

Misato: You tried to find a peace in Kaji-kun's kindness.

Misato: NO!

Misato: You tried to find your father in Kaji-kun's arms.

Misato: NO!
-
Misato: YES.
I found the father within Kaji-kun back then.
So fleed from him.
I feared.
He was just like my father.
But, it was because I was happy,
It was a joy.
It was truly a enjoyable joy!
So did I hate.
So did I separate.

Ryouji: No reason to begin a love, but a reason to end the love.

Misato: You are kind enough,
You are kind enough to, I hope, make me dirty.

Ryouji: Don't hurt yourself only because you hate yourself now.
That's only to cheat yourself by momentally punishing yourself.
Don't do that.

Misato: And "you must take care of yourself" say you?

-
Misato: Guys always do so.
And Guys work, and Guys go into their world,
leaving me behind.

Misato: Just like my father.

Misato: Always trying to escape from the hardships in the reality.
Hardship in the reality?
It's me?
It's me.
Yes. It's me.
It's inevitable.
-
Shinji: Stop, Misato-san.

-
Misato: I'm desparate of myself.
I hate myself!
-
Misato: Impure.
Dirty!

-
Ritsuko: Badlooking.

-
Misato: Mean! Dirty!
Is that the adults' intercourse? I really hate that!

-
Makoto: Congratulations for you promotion. Major Katsuragi.

-
Misato: The me appreciated is the me who is trying
to play to be appreciated.
It's not the true me.


Misato: The true me is always crying.


We see Kaji brought out the “Good object” of Misato’s father (the one that saved her in the second impact) and this is what attracted her to him. However, being aware of the similarities brought out the “bad object” the father that neglected her during her childhood and made her mother cry.

As instrumentality continues and the internal objects converse (this is the me in your mind and the you in my mind). Shinji is taken through the early parts of the object relations individualization process. He’s taken too a pre object world, before any others.

Shinji: What? The world with nothing. The world with nobody.

Shinji: The world of freedom.

Shinji: Freedom?

Shinji: The world of freedom that would never be restrained by anybody.

Shinji: Is this Freedom?

Shinji: Yes. The world of freedom.

Rei: As the result, there's nothing.

Shinji: unless I think.

Misato: Yes, unless you think.

Shinji: What's the hell! I don't know what I should do.

Rei: You are uneasy.

Asuka: You don't have your own image.

Shinji: Too vague.

Misato: Everything is vague.

That's freedom.

This is the world of an infant at birth, simple experience. Then they introduce an other

Gendou: I give you an unfreedom.

Asuka: Now that you have top and bottom.

Rei: Now that you lost one degree of freedom.

Misato: Now that you have to stand on the bottom.

Ryouji: But you obtain a confort.

Makoto: You get slightly easier in your mind.

Shigeru: And you walk.

Maya: That is your will.

Shinji: Is this my will?

Ritsuko: The world with the bottom is the world surrounding you.

Touji: Yet, you can move freely.

Kensuke: If you wish, you can change the position of the world.

Hikari: The position of the world does not keep the same position.

Ryouji: That changes through the time flow.

You can also change.

Gendou: The things that forms you are your own mind and
the world surrounding yourself.

Ritsuko: Since this is your own world.

Misato: The real figure that you conceive.

That is the reality.



The ground allows Shinji to see himself in relation to it. He also learns his perspective, his Phantasy can be changed. But Shinji realizes something is wrong.

This is the world with nothing, the space with nothing,
the world with nothing.
The world with nothing but me.
I am getting less understand myself.
I feel as if I am going to disappear.
My existence is fading away.

Why?

Misato: Because there's nobody but you.

Shinji: Nobody but me?

Misato: Because you have no existence but of yourself,
You can't figure out your own shape.

Shinji: My shape?

My image.

Misato: Yes. You are getting to know your own shape through
seeing others' shape.

Asuka: Seeing others' wall, you imagin yourself.

Rei: You cannot see yourself unless there are others.

Shinji: Because there are others, I can exist.
If alone, I am always alone at anywhere.
The world is entirely by my ..

Misato: By cognizing the difference between you and others,
you form the image of yourself.

Rei: The very first other person is your mother.

Asuka: Your mother is a different person from you.

Shinji realizes it’s the social relation with others, how they treat him forms his self image, his expectations for how he’ll be treated. Rei and Asuka like Klein point out Mother is the first other person, the one who starts individualization.

Shinji then sees a world where he has a more well adjusted Phantasy and lives a normal life. He realizes his limited view of himself and others can be changed.

——

Shinji: The real world might not always be bad.
Yet, I hate myself.

Makoto: It's your mind that conceives that the reality is bad
and hateful.
—-

He comes to realize it’s possible for him to love himself

Shinji: I hate myself.
But, I might be able to love myself.
I might be allowed to stay here.
Yes. I am nothing but I.
I am I. I wish to be I.
I wish to stay here as do I.
I can stay here as do I!

What is important though Shinji experience pure instrumentality where others did not exist and he had no existence. He found this unacceptable and decided a better course of action was to find a healthier view of him. Loving himself as an individual or others is an inherent rejection of instrumentality which the self image cannot exist.

——

Now End of Evangelion

The movie begins, Shinji has lost almost everyone and is alone. He goes to Asuka in the hospital, he sees her not because he’s worried but because he has no one else. In a comma Asuka can’t respond. Shinji lashes out and does something terrible.

Though the TV ending is quite upbeat, Klein's psychology is quite dark and violent. As mentioned above the death drive plays a major role in Klein, infants who don’t have their needs met by their environment and caretakers feel anxiety and project the death drive, lash out in aggression. In Evangelion when an Eva loses control or Ritsko destroys the dummy Rei, or during the third impact the computer monitors will often read high levels of destrudo.

—
Psychograph signal down!

Destrado has begun to manifest!

The pilot's ego won't be able
to take much more of this.

No more.

I can't take it anymore.
—

Rei who speaks of wishing to return to nothing is the living personification of the death drive, while kaworu (music is the highest achievement of Lillian culture) is Libeto or the life force.

Third impact begins with Shinji at his absolute lowest point in the series, having done something horrible to Asuka and then watch her get killed. The image of Kaworu however provides him some brief comfort and he enters his internal world. He sees himself as a child with two doll looking girls that look like Rei and Asuka, they build a sand castle of Nerv HQ together. Their mother (who is Misato) collects them and Shinji is left alone with no one. Alone, neglected, and his needs not met, Shinji destroys the Castle, lashing out violently, a taste of what’s to come. Shinji then seems flashes and images of Misato, Asuka, and Rei. Importantly he sees sides of them unfamiliar, and more importantly not pleasure granting to him

—-
Does Misato really
do things like that?

Yes, this is also me.

The me that exists
when two hearts are joined as one.

The me that
Shinji has never known.

Reality can be painful,

but it's something that
you must learn to accept.


His internal objects of the women reject and accuse him

If I can't have you all to myself,
then I don't want anything from you.

Then, try being nice to me.

We are nice to you.

Liars!

You're just hiding
behind those smiles,

intentionally keeping
things ambiguous!

Because the truth causes
everyone pain...

because the truth is very,
very traumatic.

But ambiguity only
causes me more pain.

That's just an excuse.

But it scares me,

because I don't know if everyone
will stop wanting me again.

I feel awkward and uneasy.
Let me hear your voice!

Don't leave me!

Please care about me!
—

In this sequence Shinji basically admits everything. He wants them for comfort, but he can’t handle ambiguity. The world is only black and white, good pleasure granting objects or total abandonment, no room for real people and their nuance. Shinji goes to an image of Asuka on the night they kissed. He tries to be their for her but she doesn’t buy it and calls him out as someone who only wishes to avoid pain. Shinji Chokes Asuka and the third impact begins.
—

No one understands me.

You never understood anything.

I thought this was supposed
to be a world without pain,

and without uncertainty.

That's because you thought that
everyone else felt the same as you do.

You betrayed me!
You betrayed my feelings!

You misunderstood
from the very beginning.

You just believed
what you wanted to believe.

Nobody wants me,
so they can all just die.

Then what is your hand for?

Nobody cares whether or not I exist.

Nothing ever changes,
so they can all just die!

Then tell me,
what is your heart for?

It would be better
if I never existed.

I should just die, too.

Then why are you here?

Is it okay for me to be here?

(Silence)
—-

The ultimate Childish lashing out of the Death Drive, Shinji forces the human race to a Preobject state, where they are all indescribable from one another. Notably in the final moments of third impact Shinji can hear the voices of the girls rejecting him. Shinji immediately rejects the world he created for much the same reason as the show
—

Ayanami.

Where are we?

This place is a sea of LCL.

The primordial soup of life.

A place with no AT Fields,
where individual forms do not exist.

An ambiguous world...

where you cannot tell
where you end and others begin.

A world where
you exist everywhere...

and yet you're nowhere,
all at once.

Is this death?

Not quite. This is a world
where we are all one.

This is the world you wished for.

But this isn't right.
This feels wrong.

If you wish for others to exist,

the walls of their hearts
will separate them again.

They will all feel fear once more.

Okay then.

Thank you.

I only felt pain
when I existed in that reality.

So I thought
it was alright to run away.

But there was nothing good
in the place I escaped to either.

Because I didn't exist there,
and so no one existed.

Is it alright for the AT Field
to cause you and others pain again?

I don't mind.
—

Having a world without others is a world with no self concept, which isn’t what Shinji real wanted either.

Reality exists in a place unknown,
and dreams exist within reality.

And truth lies in your heart.

The contents of a person's heart
shapes their appearance.

And new images will change
their hearts and their forms.

The power of imagination is
the ability to create your own future,

and the power to create
your own flow of time.

Shinji rejects instrumentality and decides even if he doesn’t know how to be happy it’s better than losing himself. He returns to earth, the violent destructiveness of the rest of the film is replaced by a sad melancholy as he says goodbye to Yui his mother and Eva unit one.

The final scene is a microcosm of the movie. Asuka returns to the beach Shinji is on. He starts strangling her like before, she puts her hand on his face, Shinji stops and cries. As mentioned before the depressive position is the next state when the Child realizes the good and bad object were the same all along. They feel regret over their treatment of the object. Shinji can finally understand ambiguity about others and ultimately himself and can move on from Black and White thinking.

To summarize, Shinji had a black and white view of himself and other people because of his neglectful upbringing. He had no sense of value for himself and saw others as either sources of validation. In both endings Instrumentality offered an ultimate retreat but Shinji found his loss of self unexceptionable and chose to reject instrumentality and mature.