I've recently started working on a project to make a "definitive" release of Evangelion that brings modern typesetting to the old series, complete with translations for on-screen titles/signs (based on the ones that have already been done by Anatrok) and also an edit of the overall script to correct any mistakes and make it as good as possible.
I'm going to be basing these subs on the Netflix/Khara translation, which despite all of its problems (which I aim to correct with my edit), is more accurate to the original script and has less translation mistakes.
I'd like to know what are some things that irk you guys about these new subs, and you would like to see changed for a "definitive" release. The new subs are often criticized for being overly literal, but I'd like some specific examples, if possible.
Here are some screenshots of the work I've already done in Episode 1 and EoE.
A few specific lines that I'd like help with:
Kaworu's lines on Episode 24:
I'm not changing it back to "I love you", because the new line is simply a better translation that more faithfully reflects the original nuanced meaning.
But the problem is when it comes to the previous line, "You're worthy of my grace". Kaworu says "koui", which apparently can be translated in a variety of different ways [sympathy/empathy/regard/admiration/grace]. "Worthy of my grace" sounds a little awkward and condescending in my opinion, so I'm not sure if it's the best fit.
"Children" or "Child"
What do you think should be done about the whole "Third Children" thing? There's this article in the EvaGeeks Wiki that states it's done on purpose, but I don't know, it still sounds extremely awkward nonetheless.
"I'm the lowest of the low"
Currently, I'm thinking about changing this back to "I'm so fucked up", because that's an extremely iconic line and, in my opinion, conveys the meaning and the impact (no pun intended) of the scene better.
This is probably the hardest one to get right. Netflix kept it pretty much the same, but removed the "How" from "How disgusting". One possible translation that I've always thought would be a good fit is something I came up with myself after watching/reading many things discussing this specific line, which is "I feel sickened." I think my English is pretty good, but I'm not a native speaker, so correct me if I'm wrong here: the word "sickened" can be used in both a physical and "psychological" sense, right? As in, Asuka can be using it to describe a feeling of disgust towards Shinji masturbating to her (which seems to be the most commonly accepted interpretation of the scene), but can also be used in the sense that she doesn't feel good, physically speaking. Isn't that exactly the original meaning of Kimochi Warui, and also what makes it so ambiguous and hard to translate? I don't know, I'd really like some help with this one.
All help is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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Every "wark" from Pen-Pen would be accompanied by text from E.M. Cioran's Drawn and Quartered
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