EoE Aftermath Fanfiction

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EoE Aftermath Fanfiction

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Postby knittinggirl27 » Wed Aug 21, 2019 2:29 am

Warning! Sexual content. I hope I'm not breaking any rules by posting this. If I am let me know and I'll take it down right away. I don't usually write stories with kids having sex but it seemed to be the logical direction the show was headed in. I tried not to describe it too much. Hope that's okay.

Introduction
This fanfiction is for more casual fans of the show. If you're a really serious fan then I recommend you read "Dreams of a distant God" by m3m3nt0v1v3r3.

The instrumentality project can be interpreted in different ways. I thought it was an individual thing where each person got lost in their own mind with their own memories and their own version of how others see them. That isn't right but that's how I thought it went when I wrote this. When I realized that's not how it worked it was too late to change major points in the story and still have it make sense. Sorry.
If I got something else wrong or you don't like it please let me know, and be specific so I can fix it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion Aftermath Fanfiction

Takes place after the movie ending of the show. Misato Katsuragi survived the explosion by rolling into a vault at the last second and being given medical care shortly afterward by the surviving Nerv crew members. Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu still live with her in a new apartment because she is their legal guardian for the time being. Shinji helps her as she recovers from her injuries while Asuka mostly makes fun of her.

All the people who had to be evacuated from Tokyo-3 have returned. Misato made sure that they moved to an apartment that was in the same school district as Shinji and Asuka’s friends. The kids go to school during the day while Misato got a job as an administrator at the local hospital.

A month goes by and everything seems to be getting back to normal. One evening they all sit together at dinner.

“Shinji, did you water Kaji’s flowers?” Misato asked absentmindedly.
Shinji nodded. “Yes Ma’am.”
Asuka suddenly slammed her plate on the table and stood up.
“What’s wrong Asuka?” Shinji asked.
“Nothing is wrong!” She yelled. “I just can’t eat this disgusting slop you call food!”

She ran into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

Shinji stared after her baffled. “What was that about?”
Misato quietly sipped her beer. “She gets like that whenever I mention Kaji. I shouldn’t have said anything in front of her.”
“Why Mr. Kaji?”
Misato thought of how to put it. “Oh, you know. He meant a lot to her.”
“Oh. I didn’t know he meant that much to her.”
“Yeah.”

Misato finished her instant noodles and went to her room to watch TV. Shinji went to his room and listened to music until bedtime. Asuka didn’t come out of her room all evening. Shinji worried about her but he didn’t want to check on her knowing it would only infuriate her if he did.

He brushed his teeth and climbed into bed. Soon he was asleep.

He was awakened from a dream by the sound of someone opening and closing his door.

Shinji rubbed his eyes. “Misato, is that you?”

He looked up and saw Asuka standing over him. “Asuka? What are you doing here?”

“Quiet!” She hissed.

She almost always had a prideful scowl on her face. This didn’t change as she sat on top of Shinji and took off her shirt.

“Asuka, what are you doing!”

She pressed her hands over his mouth and whispered furiously. “I said be quiet! You want to wake Misato?”
Shinji pushed her hands away and whispered furiously back, “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m having sex with you. What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Wha- Why?”
“I can’t sleep and I’m bored.”
“That’s not a good reason!”
She mocked him, “What’s the matter? Are you scared?”
Shinji felt defensive. “No! I just don’t think we should do that.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t want it. You tried to get a kiss last time I snuck into your room.”
“I didn’t know you were awake.”
“What about when you were jerking off to me in the hospital?”
Shinji turned bright red. He felt like curling up or running away in shame. “How could you know about that? You were in a coma.”
“I could still hear everything.”

Shinji felt so ashamed he became nauseous. He looked down to hide his face from her.

Asuka shook his shoulders. “Come on Shinji. Its just sex. Its not like its a big deal. You do know what sex is don’t you?”
“Of course I do! Its just- I mean- what if you get pregnant?”
“You really think I’d be stupid enough to come in here without birth control?” She pulled a condom out of her pocket. “You really are an idiot.”
“Where did you get that?”
“I stole it from Misato’s room.”
“You stole it?”
“Come on Shinji. We don’t have all night. We have school in the morning.”
“I just don’t think this is a good idea. We’re too young for this.”
“Why, because adults tell you you’re too young? They don’t think we’re too young to pilot an Eva and save the world from Angel attacks.”
“This is different.”
“You’re right. Its far less important. You weren’t too afraid to fight Angels when people’s lives were on the line. Do I need to threaten someone to get you to have sex with me?”
“No.”
“Why are you so scared Shinji? Where’s the perfect hero who saved everyone?”
“I’m not scared! This just seems wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it. Its completely natural. People do it everyday.”

Shinji sighed. He knew Asuka wouldn’t leave until she had what she wanted. She was impossible to reason with. He was also curious about how it would feel.

Reluctantly Shinji replied, “Alright, I’ll do it with you.”
“About time.”

Asuka did everything quickly and efficiently, the same way she piloted her Eva. In a matter of minutes it was over with the two of them naked, Asuka on top, and both breathing heavily.

Nonchalantly, Asuka pulled herself up to a sitting position and straightened her hair. “I told you it wouldn’t take long. Maybe now I can sleep.”

Shinji covered his mouth to stifle a yelp.

“What are you whining about now?” Asuka snapped.
“It hurts when you move,” he grunted.
“Oh.”

Asuka got off and laid down beside Shinji without touching him.

Shinji waited until his mind calmed down enough to think clearly. His head was still spinning from such an intense burst of pleasure. It was far stronger than he had expected.

“Hey Asuka?” he asked.
“What?” she replied impatiently.
“I’m really sorry about what I did in the hospital. It was a horrible thing to do.”
“Whatever. Its not like its a big deal. With a body like mine I should expect boys to act like that around me.”

Shinji was relieved that she wasn’t mad although her cockiness annoyed him.

Suddenly Asuka rolled back on top of him and put her hands threateningly around his neck.

“I should choke you to death for what you did to me!”
“I said I was sorry!”
“Not that you idiot! Why did you choke me after you rescued everyone from that giant monster?”
“That thing was messing with my head. It made me see a vision of you attacking me. I asked for your help but you refuse so I choked you. I thought I was still in the vision when I first saw you on the beach. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was the real you.”

Asuka’s face softened and she moved her hands to his shoulders. “That thing was messing with my head too. It made me see the day my mother died.”

“I’m sorry.”

Asuka flopped back to her side of the bed and rolled over to face away from Shinji. “Its not like it matters. She was a terrible mother. I’m glad she’s dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Shinji repeated. “I’m sorry about everything I’ve done to you.”
“You also saved me from that monster,” she said quietly. “You know, you were pretty good tonight. For a first time of course.”

“Wasn’t it your first time too?”
“Quiet Shinji. We should get some sleep now.”

It took Shinji a moment to realize that she had just complimented him. She had almost thanked him even. He wasn’t sure what this meant but they seemed to be closer somehow.

Chapter

The next day both of them found it difficult to focus on school. Shinji wasn’t sure how to feel about what happened last night. He had enjoyed it, but it also felt wrong somehow. No matter how he rationalized he couldn’t shake the feeling that they shouldn’t have done that.

Asuka wasn’t sure how to feel either. She felt warmer when she thought about Shinji and how he had sincerely apologized last night. It wasn’t like his normal automatic apologies. He had meant it.

Asuka thought *People don’t just apologise for things they’ve done. At least, not to me. Shinji is kinder than I thought.* She shook her head. *Why do I keep thinking about that idiot!*

Asuka tried to focus on her studies, but she kept feeling like she was more connected to Shinji than she had been before.

After school nothing of note happened. Shinji watered Mr. Kaji’s flowers as usual. The watermelons were ripe so he picked one and took it home.

He cut it up and served it to Misato at dinner.

Misato whooped with joy. “Woohoo! I haven’t had a nice ripe watermelon in forever!”

Asuka came out of her room. “A watermelon? Finally, some real food.”

The three sat down at the table and munched happily for a moment.

Misato spoke with her mouth full, “I thought there were only flowers in the garden.”
Shinji shook his head. “Mr. Kaji grew some watermelons too. I noticed today that this one was ripe.”

Asuka stopped in mid bite. Her hands shook. She looked like she might cry. She ran to her room and slammed the door.

“Oops.” Shinji sighed. “I forgot, she gets like that whenever someone mentions Mr. Kaji.”
Misato put down her watermelon. “Poor kid. I miss him too.”

Later than night Asuka lightly shook Shinji awake.

“Shinji, wake up,” she whispered.
He yawned and rubbed his eyes. “What is it Asuka?”
“Let’s have sex again tonight.”
Shinji groaned. “Again? I think you’re doing this for the wrong reason.”
“I’m doing it because its fun. Why else would I do it?”
“I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem right.”
“Don’t be so old fashion. You had fun too right?”
“Of course I did but that’s not the point. I just think that two people who actually love each other should do that.”
“You really are old fashion. People nowadays do it just because they want to.”
“But you don’t have birth control tonight.”
“Of course I do you idiot. How stupid do you think I am?”

She pulled out another condom from her pocket.

“Where did you get that?”
“From Misato’s room, duh.”
“How many does she have?”
“She had a box of 12.”
“What if she was saving those?”
“She isn’t going to use them.”
Without thinking Shinji replied, “Oh. I guess she won’t now that Mr. Kaji is gone.”

Asuka’s muscles tensed. Her eyes flashed. Shinji realized too late he had said the wrong thing.

Asuka jumped on top of him and whipped off his clothes followed by her own. She worked even faster than the night before bringing him to a climax in a matter of seconds despite his protests to slow down.

Shinji wasn’t sure if this was sexual assault but it seemed like it.

After he climaxed Asuka wrapped her whole body tightly around him. She seemed to be holding on for dear life. Shinji was already gasping for breath and her death grip made it harder to get in air. Strangely, Asuka started to cry. It was soft at first but her sobs gradually became louder.

Shinji wasn’t sure how to react. He wanted to run and hide. Her insane mood swings scared him. He couldn’t move with her on top of him and her arms and legs crushing him. All he could do was lay still and hope for it to end.

“Why!?” Asuka cried. “Why did Mr. Kaji have to die?! I loved him! I loved him so much! I wanted to be with him! Why did he have to die?! Its not fair! He didn’t do anything wrong! Why?!”

Asuka loosened her grip on Shinji as she continued to cry. Finally, he got a deep breath.

It was all clear now. Why Asuka had gotten upset every time Mr. Kaji was mentioned. Why she had wanted to have sex in the first place. Shinji was her replacement for Mr. Kaji.

Shinji knew that Asuka wasn’t motivated by love for him. Still, he felt disappointed that she was using him as a substitute for someone else.

His heart still ached for her. The man she had loved was dead.

Shinji didn’t think someone like Asuka was capable of loving another person so much. She was egotistical, selfish, and two-faced. Yet, she wept bitterly, as if the world were ending.

He didn’t know what to do but he wanted to comfort her somehow. He gently put his hand on her back.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Asuka jumped up to a sitting position. “Damn you Shinji! I can’t believe I’m crying like this in front of you! You idiot!”

She hugged herself and continued to cry. “This is so humiliating,” she whispered. “Mr. Kaji didn’t want me. He only wanted Misato. Why? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why her and not me?”

Shinji squirmed underneath Asuka and sat up. Their faces were almost touching. He put a hand on her shoulder. She raised a fist but he caught it before she hit him.

Shinji was determined no to let her push him away this time. *She did what she wanted with me. Now I’m going to do what I want with her.*

He wrapped his arms firmly around her and held her in a tight embrace. He had expected her to fight him but instead she relaxed in his arms. Her crying became softer. He loosened his grip on her and stroked her hair with one hand.

Neither of them could remember a time when they were held like this. Shinji couldn’t remember his mother. His father had abandoned him and the people he had lived with were kind but not loving.

Asuka’s mother had gotten brain damage and couldn’t remember her own daughter. The people she had lived with cared about her but they weren’t affectionate with her. She realized what she had wanted so desperately from Mr. Kaji was human affection. Something she had found with Shinji of all people.

Both of them felt a deep need filled in each other’s embrace. Neither wanted it to end.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Chapter 3

The next day they tried to act normal as if nothing had happened. School was difficult to focus on again but they felt less confused about each other than the previous day.

At lunch Asuka sat with Hikari as usual.

“You seem awfully quiet today,” Hikari noted.
“I just don’t have much to say,” Asuka replied quickly.
“Is there something going on between you and Shinji?”
“What? Why would you ask that?”
“Well, you keep staring at him.”
“No I don’t! I was just staring and he happened to be in the way.”
“That’s been the case during every class today?” Hikari asked doubtfully.
“Of course it has! What are you saying?”
“Alright, alright. You sure are getting worked up about someone that you don’t have feelings for.”

Asuka huffed and furiously ate her lunch. Hikari couldn’t help chuckling at her.

Shinji wasn’t having better luck with his friends.

“So spill it Shinji,” Toji said. “What’s the deal with you and Asuka?”
“Huh?” Shinji panicked. “Nothing! What do you mean?”
Kensuke spoke up. “We know something is going on. You’ve been staring at her all day.”
“Oh.” Shinji blushed. “I didn’t notice.”
“Come on,” Toji prodded. “You’ve been out of it for two days. What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” Shinji insisted.
“Yeah right,” Kensuke said. “Are you two fighting?”
“Well not exactly.”
“Then what is it?” Toji asked.
“Nothing. She’s just acting weird. That’s all.”
Kensuke scooted closer. “Weird how?”
“She’s just been sneaking into my room at night.”
Toji scooted closer. “Sneaking into your room? Why? Is she stealing your stuff?”
“No.”
“Then why does she go in there?” Kensuke asked.
“I can’t tell you.”
Toji could tell Shinji was hiding something big. “Come on, you can tell us.”
“We won’t tell anyone.”
Shinji looked around nervously. “You have to promise that you won’t tell anyone. If Asuka finds out that I told you… “ he shuddered to think of what Asuka would do to him. Still, he wanted to talk about it with someone.
Kensuke and Toji nodded. “We promise.”
Shinji felt his face burn bright red. “Well, she comes into my room and” he mumbled the rest barely above a whisper “makes love with me.”

Toji and Kensuke stared.

“Is that it?” Kensuke finally asked.
“What do you mean is that it? Isn’t that enough?” Shinji snapped.
Kensuke retaliated. “Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting that.”
Toji was having a hard time processing it too. “She really makes love to you?”
Shinji nodded.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Kensuke sat back in surprise. “That is really weird. I thought she didn’t like you.”
Shinji sighed. “She isn’t doing it because she loves me. She does it because she’s lonely and desperate.”
“I wish a girl would get lonely and desperate with me.” Kensuke smiled.
“Yeah, how great would that be?” Toji admitted.
Shinji shook his head. “Its not like that. I mean its fun but there’s more to it than that. Last night she kept crying.”
Kensuke raised an eyebrow. “Are you that bad at sex?”
“No! It wasn’t me. She was upset because a man she was in love with died. I think she’s trying to replace him with me. Or at least forget about him by sleeping with me.”
Toji sighed. “That’s messed up.”
Kensuke and Shinji nodded.
“What are you going to do?” Kensuke whispered, “Could she be pregnant?”
“No. We used birth control.”
“At least you don’t have to worry about that,” Toji added.
Shinji sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I want to be there for her but I don’t think having sex with me is going to help anything.”
Kensuke shrugged. “Maybe it will. You said she’s lonely. You can at least help her not feel lonely.”
“That’s true,” Shinji admitted.

He thought about how she had fallen asleep in his arms last night. In that moment he didn’t feel lonely either. Maybe this would be good for both of them.

Chapter 4

That night Asuka didn't wait until Shinji was asleep before crawling into bed with him.

He held still and waited for her to climb on top of him and start taking their clothes off. Instead she stayed on her side of the bed.

“Asuka?” He asked.
“I don't want to have sex tonight.”
“Then why are you here?”
Asuka growled. ”I just don't want to be alone okay!”
“Oh… I'm glad you're here. I don't want to be alone either.”

Asuka sighed. She scooted closer to Shinji until she was pressing her body into his.

Shinji wanted to touch her but was afraid she would pull away from him. He held his breath and put his arm around her waist. She put her hand over his and he sighed with relief.

“You don't need to be so scared of me,” Asuka said. “It's okay to tell people what you want.”

Shinji thought for a moment. “Hey Asuka?”
“What?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.”
“Something else?”
“What is it already?”
“What happened to your mother? You mentioned that she died.”
Asuka was silent.
“You don't have to tell me,” Shinji added feeling that his question was to personal.
“She got brain damage and died,” Asuka said quickly.
“Oh… I'm sorry.”
“I'm glad she died. She was a horrible mother.”

Shinji wasn't sure how to respond to that.

“Yet somehow, when I was in the Eva that last time I thought I felt her spirit protecting me.”
“I thought I felt my mother protecting me when I was in my Eva too.”
“Then that monster got in my head and made me see her die again. I tried so hard to forget it. Why did it make me see that?!”
“It made me see things too. You and Rei and Misato yelling at me. You attacking me.”
“She died by suicide you know.”
“Your mother?”
“Yeah. For months before she died, she played with a doll thinking that it was me. She would feed it and brush it's hair right in front of me. She refused to look at me. I wasn't her daughter anymore. That stupid doll was.” Asuka’s muscles tensed.”I hated that doll! I hated it so much! I hate all dolls!”

Asuka calmed down before continuing. “I ripped off the doll’s head one night. The next day I found out I was chosen to be a pilot for the Evas. I ran home to tell her. That's when I found her body hanging from the ceiling.”

Shinji was stunned. He had no idea how to react to this. He wanted to run away. Have Asuka tell someone else her tragic story. Someone who could help her. What could he do?

He felt her tremble in his arms. She turned and hid her face in his chest as she cried softly.

“I killed my mother!” She cried out.”I killed her!”

Shinji felt useless and pathetic.

“Why did you come to me with this?” he asked. “Why didn't you turn to someone who can help you?”

“You still don't get it! You're such an idiot! All I need is you to hold me right now! That's the best help I've ever gotten!”

Shinji was shocked. Something so simple couldn't be the answer. Asuka was suffering so much. She needed more help than just laying in bed with someone. Least of all him.

Yet, as he held her he felt that she was right. Just holding someone was comforting in a powerful way he didn't expect. He didn't think physical contact by itself could solve her problems, but if it could give her some comfort, even a little, he was willing to do it.

“I'll hold you as long as you want Asuka.”

Chapter 5

The next day at lunch Toji and Kensuke could hardly wait to ask Shinji about last night. They sat on either side of him and leaned in close.

“So?” Toji asked.
Shinji decided to play dumb. “So what?”
“Did you get any action last night?” Kensuke asked.
“No. We just cuddled.”
Toji scoffed.”Lame.”
“Actually it was really nice.”
“If you say so,” Kensuke said disappointed.
“She's different at night. She's nicer. She tells me things. She trusts me.”
Toji teased ”You two do make a cute couple.”
Shinji smiled. ”We’re not really a couple but maybe someday we will be.”

*********

Shinji looked forward to bedtime as he brushed his teeth and put his pajamas on. He crawled into bed and waited for Asuka.

Asuka came into his room as usual but tonight she sat next to him with a serious look on her face.

“Shinji, tonight you need to be a man.”
Shinji sat up.”What do you mean?”
“You never think about what you want. You only think about what others what for you. Well tonight you are going to do what you want.”

Asuka took off her clothes and laid down beside him. “You can do whatever you want to me. I promise I won't interfere.”

Shinji sighed.”You are so weird Asuka.”
“You need to take this seriously!” She snapped. ”If you don't start making decisions for yourself then everyone will run your life for you. Now figure out what you want and do it!”

She handed him a condom. “Just don't forget to use this.”

Shinji simply stared at her. “Since when do you care what I want?”
“I don’t. The point is that you should care. Do you even know what you want?”
“I’m not sure that I want anything.”
Asuka growled in frustration. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You need to take control of your life and make decisions for yourself. Tonight I’m giving you the perfect opportunity to try. Do whatever you want to me.”
“What if I don’t want to have sex tonight?”
Asuka rolled over. “Fine. I’ll just go to sleep then.”
“Wait. I didn’t say I didn’t want it. I was just wondering what you would do if I didn’t want it.”
Asuka rolled back on her back. “Well make up your mind already!”
“Just give me a second.”

Shinji thought a moment. Asuka was right. He never did think about what he wanted. He was rarely given the opportunity to make choices for himself. He had to go to school. He had been forced to pilot the Eva and fight in the war with the Angels. Everything he did seemed to be for someone’s expectation of who he should be. Who did he want to be? What did he really want?

Shinji looked down at Asuka. “All I really want is to kiss you.”
“Okay then kiss me.”

Shinji leaned over her and put his hands on her shoulders. He felt nervous and wished that Asuka would take charge like she normally did. He stared at her lips and then looked into her eyes. Her usual disapproving scowl was gone and instead her face held a blank expression. He relaxed a little.

Gently, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. He waited a few seconds before bringing his head back up to look at her.

She smiled warmly at him. “There. Was that so hard?”

He pressed his lips to hers again. This time he pushed his tongue into her mouth. Playfully, she pushed her tongue against his. He felt her soft fingers on his cheeks. He curled his arms around her shoulders. He waited longer this time before letting go.

“Asuka, is it alright if I kiss you in other places?”

Her expression remained blank. “You’re in charge tonight Shinji. Whatever you want.”

Shinji spent the next 20 minutes kissing her everywhere. Every possible square inch he kissed tenderly.

Asuka wasn’t sure how to feel. She had expected him to be aggressive like she was.

“This is really what you wanted? Just to kiss me?”
Shinji looked up. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, I guess.” *He could do anything and this is what he chose? Pathetic. It is sweet though.*

People weren’t kind to Asuka. Her selfish, forceful personality tended to bring out the worst in others. The only people who were kind to her were Mr. Kaji and her friend Hikari. Now Shinji was also being kind to her, even though he could be as rough as he wanted. Asuka knew he had every right to given how she had treated him the last few days.

“Why were you chosen to be an Eva pilot?” she asked.
Shinji stopped kissing again and sat on the bed beside her. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You just seem too nice to fight in a war. Why would anyone choose you?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense to me either. They should have picked someone like you who isn’t afraid of violence.”
“You’re afraid of violence because you don’t want to see others get hurt, right?”
“Yes.”
“Even the Angels?”
“I didn’t want to hurt them, but I didn’t want them to hurt others more.”
“You’re more kind than I thought.”
Shinji looked at her surprised. “Was that a compliment?”
“Don’t get me wrong. You’re still a coward.” Her voice softened. “But you’re a coward because you care about others. There isn’t really anything wrong with caring about others.”

Shinji curled up next to her with his head resting on her chest.

“They never gave me a choice,” he said quietly. “They forced me to kill.”
“They shouldn’t have tried to turn you into a killer. Your kindness is rare. It wasn’t right.”

She felt cold tears fall onto her skin. Shinji clung to her in a way that reminded her of a child clinging to his mother.

“Please don’t hate me,” he whispered, “just because I’m crying. I know I’m a worthless coward. I’m pathetic. I wish none of that ever happened to me.”

Asuka wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t say that. You are not worthless. You just care too much, that’s all. They are the cowards. They made us fight their war.”

Shinji continued to cry until he fell asleep still clinging to Asuka.

Asuka fell asleep soon afterward. Her final thought was *I want to protect this kind boy. I don’t want to see him get hurt again.*

Chapter 6

A few days ago

Misato lay in bed one night her head buzzing with thoughts. *I’m grateful to have a job but working at a hospital is harder than I thought. Trying to raise two kids on top of that. Its too much. I can’t send those kids away though. I’m the only one who understands what they’ve been through. Besides which I’ve gotten used to them being around. I’d be lonely without them. I should get them a therapist but I can’t afford it. What should I do? I’m too tired right now. I’ll think about it in the morning.*

She fell into a deep sleep.

She awoke to a squeaking sound coming from the next room. *What is that? Is one of the kids up?*

She looked at the clock. It read 3:07 am.

*Its too early for this. Wait… That sound… It sounds like- Oh no. Already? I knew Asuka would sneak a boy in here at some point but I hoped that wouldn’t happen until she was at least 16. Great.*

Misato pulled the pillow over her head to muffle the sound.

*At least she’s using protection. Now I know who took my box of condoms. Wait, that squeaking is coming from Shinji’s room… Shinji? Really?*

She pulled her head out from under the pillow. *That can’t be Shinji, can it?*

The squeaking stopped.

“I told you it wouldn’t take long. Maybe now I can sleep,” she heard Asuka whisper. “What are you whining about now?”
“It hurts when you move,” Shinji said.

*They’re doing it with each other? What! Why? I thought Asuka hated Shinji. Why are they doing this? What’s gotten into those two?*

“Hey Asuka?”
“What?”
“I’m really sorry about what I did in the hospital. It was a horrible thing to do.”
“Whatever. Its not like its a big deal. With a body like mine I should expect boys to act like that around me.”

*What did he do to her? How long has this been going on? What’s wrong with them?*

“I should choke you to death for what you did to me!”
“I said I was sorry!”
“Not that you idiot! Why did you choke me after you rescued everyone from that giant monster?”

*What monster? I must not have seen it since I blacked out during the explosion.*

“That thing was messing with my head. It made me see a vision of you attacking me. I asked for your help but you refuse so I choked you. I thought I was still in the vision when I first saw you on the beach. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was the real you.”
“That thing was messing with my head too. It made me see the day my mother died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Its not like it matters. She was a terrible mother. I’m glad she’s dead.”

*Asuka has never mentioned her mother before.*

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything I’ve done to you.”

*What did he do?*

“You also saved me from that monster. You know, you were pretty good tonight. For a first time of course.”
“Wasn’t it your first time too?”
“Quiet Shinji. We should get some sleep now.”

*Oh. So this is the first time they’ve done it. That’s a relief. I’ll have to scold them tomorrow. After work they’re going to get it! Not now though. I’m too tired and in too much pain to get up. I wish those pain-killers lasted all night.*

The next day Misato had trouble concentrating at work. She dreaded 5:00. Thinking about what to say to the kids made her feel nauseous. She had no idea how to scold them. She couldn’t figure out why they did that in the first place.

When she got home Shinji gave her a slice of watermelon. He acted as if nothing happened.

*Maybe that was a one time thing. I hope so. Maybe I don’t need to say anything.*

Asuka got upset and ran into her room during dinner. Misato felt exhausted emotionally and physically. She decided to go to bed early without saying anything to the kids. She swallowed a couple of painkillers and crawled under the covers.

She awoke several hours later to the same squeaking sound coming from Shinji’s room.

*Not again!*

The clock read 4:18 am.

*You’ve got to be kidding me. Why are they doing this?*

“Asuka slow down!” Shinji whispered with an air of panic in his voice. “Asuka! Asuka!”

She heard him gasp for breath.

*Damn it Asuka! Shinji is a boy not a vibrator! She can’t treat him that way.*

Misato tried to get out of bed but fell to her knees on the floor and doubled over in pain.

*Damn it! Why do they have to do this at night!*

She heard crying coming from Shinji’s room and inched her way to the door.

*I’m coming Shinji. Just hang on. I’ll put Asuka in a foster home. They can’t live together if she’s going to treat him like this.*

She paused to catch her breath when she made it to the door.

*That crying… Its too high pitch to be Shinji. Is that Asuka?*

“Why!? Why did Mr. Kaji have to die?! I loved him! I loved him so much! I wanted to be with him! Why did he have to die?! Its not fair! He didn’t do anything wrong! Why?!”

*Oh Asuka. That poor kid. Sometimes I forget how much those two are grieving. That’s no excuse for taking it out on Shinji but she is only 14. She’s too immature to handle all that she’s been through.*

“I’m so sorry.”

*Shinji’s not running away? He always runs away from his and other’s emotions. Like when I found out Kaji was dead. I couldn’t stop crying and he just hid in his room.*

“Damn you Shinji! I can’t believe I’m crying like this in front of you! You idiot!... This is so humiliating. Mr. Kaji didn’t want me. He only wanted Misato. Why? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why her and not me?”

*Kaji told me about how she tried to seduce him. It was nothing personal. He rejected her because she’s a child. I guess she didn’t see it that way. That must have been hard for her.*

Asuka’s crying quieted.

*She must be sleeping with Shinji as a way to deal with her grief. I know it wasn’t his idea. I’m impressed that she’s allowing herself to cry in front of him, and he hasn’t left the room. He’s there comforting her. Maybe, somehow this is good for them.*

Misato decided not to say anything to them the following evening. She wanted to see how this played out on its own.

She sat thoughtfully during dinner as she sipped her beer. *I’m surprised they don’t suspect that I know anything. The walls are paper-thin and they don’t try very hard to keep quiet. Maybe they assume I’m a deep sleeper.*

She hadn’t even fallen asleep before she heard their voices that night. *They’re starting early.*

She heard Asuka tell Shinji she didn’t want sex but she didn’t want to be alone either.

*I don’t blame you kid. I don’t like sleeping alone either.*

Shinji asked about her mother. She thought for sure Asuka would tell him to shut up or mind his own business. Instead she told him about her mother and how she died.

*I don’t believe it. Asuka is really opening up to him. She isn’t afraid to show weakness in front of him anymore.*

Shinji held her as she cried and even said he would be there as long as she needed.

*Shinji isn’t running away. He’s being there for her. I can’t separate them now. Not after all the progress they’ve made. They need each other.*

Misato had to work late the next day. When she came home the kids were already in bed. She yawned loudly and closed the door to her room with a light bang. Almost immediately she heard Asuka open the door to Shinji’s room.

*Kids. I can’t believe they think I don’t know anything.*

“Shinji, tonight you need to be a man.”
”What do you mean?”
“You never think about what you want. You only think about what others what for you. Well tonight you are going to do what you want... You can do whatever you want to me. I promise I won't interfere.”

*Asuka cares what Shinji wants? Since when? She used him as a sex toy two days ago.*

”You are so weird Asuka.”
“You need to take this seriously! If you don't start making decisions for yourself then everyone will run your life for you. Now figure out what you want and do it! Just don't forget to use this.”

*She had better be referring to a condom.*

“Since when do you care what I want?”

*That’s what I want to know.*

“I don’t. The point is that you should care. Do you even know what you want?”
“I’m not sure that I want anything.”

*Typical Shinji. He can’t make a decision to save his life.*

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You need to take control of your life and make decisions for yourself. Tonight I’m giving you the perfect opportunity to try. Do whatever you want to me.”
“What if I don’t want to have sex tonight?”

*He doesn’t?*

“Fine. I’ll just go to sleep then.”
“Wait. I didn’t say I didn’t want it. I was just wondering what you would do if I didn’t want it.”

*Of course.*

“Well make up your mind already!”
“Just give me a second… All I really want is to kiss you.”
“Okay then kiss me.”

*That’s all he wants. Wait, have they not been kissing the other two nights? What strange kids. What’s sex without kissing?*

“There. Was that so hard?”

She heard them kissing again.

“Asuka, is it alright if I kiss you in other places?”
“You’re in charge tonight Shinji. Whatever you want.”

*Now this is getting steamy.*

“This is really what you wanted? Just to kiss me?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, I guess… Why were you chosen to be an Eva pilot?”

*Where is that coming from?*

“What does that have to do with anything?”
“You just seem too nice to fight in a war. Why would anyone choose you?”

*Oh.*

“I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense to me either. They should have picked someone like you who isn’t afraid of violence.”

*I don’t know why he was chosen either. Than information was confidential, even to me.*

“You’re afraid of violence because you don’t want to see others get hurt, right?”
“Yes.”
“Even the Angels?”
“I didn’t want to hurt them, but I didn’t want them to hurt others more.”
“You’re more kind than I thought.”

*She complimented him?*

“Was that a compliment?”
“Don’t get me wrong. You’re still a coward. But you’re a coward because you care about others. There isn’t really anything wrong with caring about others.”

*She should try it some time.*

“They never gave me a choice. They forced me to kill.”
“They shouldn’t have tried to turn you into a killer. Your kindness is rare. It wasn’t right.”

She heard sobs again, but this time they were Shinji’s.

“Please don’t hate me just because I’m crying. I know I’m a worthless coward. I’m pathetic. I wish none of that ever happened to me.”
“Don’t say that. You are not worthless. You just care too much, that’s all. They are the cowards. They made us fight their war.”

*That poor boy. He’s such a sweet child. Choosing him to do something so violent was just setting him up for failure. He hates himself because he wasn’t what we wanted him to be. How will he ever learn to love who he is?*

Guilt swept over her like a dark wave. She felt tears on her own cheeks.

*I pushed him so hard. I yelled at him when he didn’t want to fight anymore. I knew he didn’t care that much for his own life. He just didn’t want to see more violence. How could I do that? To someone so loving? Asuka is right. I’m the coward. Me and everyone else at Nerv. We should have fought the war, not him. Not either of them.*

She wiped her eyes dry.

*I hope someday he can forgive me. For now I’m glad they have each other.*

Chapter 7

The next day was Friday. Kids at school chatted excitedly about the weekend. Shinji found it a little easier to talk to his friends that day.

“Did you get any last night?” Toji asked at lunch.
Shinji shook his head. “No. We just kissed and went to sleep.”
Kensuke rolled his eyes. “You two are so weird.”
“Asuka was the one acting weird last night. She just laid there and said I could do anything I wanted with her.”
Toji choked on his riceball. “A girl told you that you could do anything to her and you just kissed? What kind of guy are you?”
“Are you gay?” Kensuke asked.
Shinji looked at them the same way an adult looks at children who are too young to understand. “There’s more to relationships that sex you know.”
Toji looked confused. “Like what?”
“Its hard to explain but sometimes just being together is better than being physical together.”
“Wierdo,” Kensuke scoffed.
Shinji shrugged and continued eating his lunch.
“Do you think you’ll get some over the weekend?” Toji asked.
“Maybe. I don’t know. That’s up to Asuka.”
“The girl has got you wrapped around her finger, huh?” Kensuke smirked.
Shinji looked at the two of them. “Hasn’t she always?”
They looked at each other.
“Yeah, she has,” Toji admitted.

Asuka hadn’t told her friend Hikari about her and Shinji yet. She was dying to talk about it with someone but she never knew how to bring it up. Hikari might tell someone and get her and Shinji separated. What’s worse, she hated having to admit that she was intimate with Shinji.

“That idiot,” she muttered.
“Did you say something?” Hikari asked as she took another bite of her lunch.
“I-” Asuka didn’t make eye contact with her. “I was wondering if you’ve ever been with a boy?”
“You mean on date?”
“No more than that.”
“Kissing?”
“More than that.”
“Going all the way?”
Asuka felt her face flush and remained silent.
“No… Have you?”
*I won’t tell her who it is. I’ll just say that I’m doing it with someone.* “I might be seeing someone in that way.”
“Its Shinji, isn’t it?”
Asuka jumped and turned to her with shock and indignation. “How on earth could you know that?!”
Hikari shrugged calmly. “Its pretty obvious. You two keep staring at each other. Everyone knows something is going on between you. Although I didn’t think you had gone that far already.”

Asuka slumped in her chair. “This is so humiliating,” she whispered.
“I am surprised that you picked Shinji. I thought you didn’t like him, let alone love him.”
“I don’t love him!” she snapped. “I don’t even like him. He’s just a booty call. That’s all. I would do it with any boy.”
Hikari doubted this but she knew Asuka was too proud to admit her true feelings.
“So?” Hikari prodded. “What’s he like in bed?”
Asuka turned away from her in embarrassment. “He’s” her voice softened. “Well he’s not much to look at, as you know, but he’s a decent lover. He’s very gentle and thoughtful.”
“Are you pregnant?”

Asuka turned on her with indignation. “Of course not! We’ve been using protection. How dare you ask such a thing.”
Hikari chuckled. “Well, I’m happy for you. You’ve been doing much better the last few days.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been nicer to everyone this past week. You even helped Lee with his math homework yesterday. The week before you just made fun of him for not knowing how to solve the problem.”
Asuka turned up her nose. “I just got tired of his pathetic whining.”
“You seem almost happy.”
She relaxed in her chair. “I have been feeling less lonely.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“You can’t tell anyone. If you do Shinji and I might get separated.”
“I know. I promise I won’t tell anyone. I want you two to be together.”
Asuka felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She turned to Hikari and smiled weakly. “Thank you.”

Chapter 8

Shinji watered Kaji’s garden before heading home. When he walked in the door Asuka was sitting on the couch watching TV. He slumped on the couch next to her.

Asuka scooted closer to him and put her arm around his waist. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They seemed almost like a happy couple this way.

Without looking, her hand flew to his collar and started unbuttoning his shirt.

He looked at her surprised. “You want to do it right now?”
“I’m bored.”
“What about Misato? She’ll be home soon.”
“No she won’t. She sent me a text saying that she needs to go grocery shopping after work tonight.”
“Oh. You sure you don’t want to go to the bedroom?”
“It’ll be fine!” Asuka said in annoyance.

She pushed Shinji over and sat on top of him. She took his shirt off before taking off her own.

Shinji gasped.

“What? You’ve seen me before!”
“Not in the light. Its always been dark.”
“It was light in the hospital that day.”

Shinji turned away from her ashamed. He looked like he might cry.

Asuka lightly shook his shoulders. “Come on Shinji. Its not that big a deal. Its not like you assaulted me.”

Shinji refused to look at her. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you.”

Asuka sighed. She knew he would never get in the mood if he kept thinking about that day. She leaned down and held him close to her.

“You’re only human,” she whispered. “We all do terrible things. You need to let it go.”

She felt him relax beneath her.

“Asuka?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve never told you how beautiful you are.”
“You’re not so bad yourself. I mean, you’re so scrawny. Mostly skin and bones, but you’re warm and gentle.”

“Asuka?”
“Yeah.”
“Can we kiss again?”

Asuka lifted her head to look at him. She smiled at him reassuringly. He smiled weakly back.

They kissed passionately that evening, as if they had been starving for each other. The sex was far stronger and more intense than the previous two encounters had been. Both of them were breathing so heavily afterward that they couldn’t speak for several minutes.

“Wow,” Asuka said finally.
Shinji nodded still unable to speak.
“That was amazing.”
He nodded again.

“Asuka,” he said at last. “You were so beautiful.”

The word beautiful didn’t do her justice but it was all he could think to say.

She nuzzled her face into his chest. “You were really good. Who would have thought you would be such a good lover.”

Shinji smiled proud of himself and kissed the top of her head. He squeezed her in his arms and laughed.

“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. It was just so fun!”
Asuka smiled. “It was pretty fun. We have to do that again.”
“I can’t do it again right now.”
“I didn’t mean right now. I’m too tired. Just later.”
“We need to get dressed before Misato comes home.”
“I know but I can’t get up. I need a few minutes.”
“Me too… Asuka?”
“Yeah.”
“I think I love you. Its okay if you don’t love me back. I still love you.”
“I- I’m not sure if I love you.”
“That’s okay. I’ll always love you either way.”

Asuka wasn’t sure how she felt. For the first time she wanted to love him but she wasn’t sure if she really did.

Both of them fell asleep out of exhaustion, naked and entangled in each other’s arms.

Chapter 9

Misato came in the house carrying a bag of groceries. She nearly dropped them when she saw Shinji and Asuka naked and sleeping on the couch together.

“Darn those kids,” she whispered. “They aren’t even trying to hide it anymore.”

She set the groceries on the table and got a blanket from Asuka’s bed to cover them up. Asuka stirred when she felt the blanket on her. She yawned and opened her eyes. It took her a moment to put two and two together with the blanket.

“Misato!” She jumped up and covered herself with her hands. She saw Misato sitting at the kitchen table, sipping beer, turned away from them.

Shinji rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Misato!” Asuka yelled.

Shinji jumped up knocking Asuka to the floor.

“Sorry,” he said and tried to help her up.
She pushed his hand away. “Just get dressed!”

They scrambled into their clothes.

“Why did you fall asleep?!” Asuka practically screamed.
“You fell asleep too!”
“Do you want to get separated?”
“I’m sorry. I was just so tired. It was exhausting.”
“Damn it!”

Misato burst into laughter. She threw her head back and laughed hardily.

Shinji and Asuka stared unsure what to think.

Misato calmed down and took a sip of beer.

“Can I look at you two now?” she asked.
“Yes Ma’am,” Shinji said.

Misato turned to look at their stunned, confused faces and burst into a fit of laughter again.

“You kids!” She held her side where her bullet wound was still healing. “You have to stop making me laugh! It hurts!”

Asuka’s patience had run out. “What are you laughing at?!”

Misato tried to calm down. “I’m sorry. You two are just so cute. You’re adorable. The way you were sleeping together was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Shinji and Asuka didn’t know what this response meant.

“Are we in trouble?” Shinji asked.

“No,” Misato replied with a bright cheery smile.

“Are you going to separate us?” he asked with more urgency in his voice.

Misato shook her head with the same loving smile on her face.

The two of them breathed out a sigh of relief.

“I am going to set some ground rules though,” she said as she reached into the bag of groceries.

She pulled out a box of birth control pills and a new box of condoms.

“The box you took only had 5 condoms left. You must be out now so I got some new ones. Asuka I want you to take birth control pills as well, just to be safe.”

Asuka folder her arms. “Fine. It will regulate my period anyway. Wait! You knew what we were doing the whole time?!”

“You could hear that?” Shinji turned bright red and looked away from Misato.

“Of course I could. The walls are paper-thin and you weren’t trying that hard to be quiet.”

Asuka put her hands on her hips. “Why didn’t you say anything! You sick pervert!”

“I was going to. Believe me. I thought the first time it might be a one-time thing so I waited to see if it happened again. Of course it did. It was stupid of me to think that it wouldn’t.”
“You didn’t say anything the next night either! You’re the worst guardian ever!” Asuka yelled.
“Probably,” Misato said calmly. “I didn’t say anything because you were acting different. You were listening to each other and comforting each other. You were being there for each other in a way no other two people could be. You two are the only kids in the world who know what its like to pilot an Eva. Therefore you are the only people who can really help one another.”

“That’s true,” Shinji said quietly.

Misato looked down with sorrow and guilt. “You kids have seen the worst humanity has to offer. Being forced to kill in a war that was never yours. I’m partially to blame for that. I thought that if you could find a shred of happiness in each other maybe you can move past your traumas and live normal lives one day.”

Shinji furrowed his brow in confusion. “So its good for teenagers to have sex?”

Misato slammed her fist on the table. “Absolutely not! If you were any other two teenagers I would have separated you in a heartbeat. But given your shared experiences I think it would do more harm than good to separate you at this time.”

Shinji shyly smiled at Asuka. She didn’t smile back but she gave him a reassuring look.

“That being said,” Misato continued, “if this relationship stops being beneficial at any point I will have you separated. You need to be respectful and considerate of each other. Listen to each other and pay attention to each other’s needs. Especially in bed. If one of you doesn’t want to do it then don’t do it. If one of you wants to slow down then slow down. I’m looking at you Asuka.”

Asuka blushed. She scowled and turned away.

“Take care of one another. Communicate your needs and be gentle with each other’s feelings. Deep down all we really want is to be accepted and loved.”

Asuka huffed. “If we don’t I suppose you’ll know because you’ll be listening to everything we do.”

Misato pulled out earplugs and a white noise maker from the grocery bag. “I have no intention of listening to teenagers make love. I’ll find out in other ways if you two aren’t treating each other well.”

“Is there anything else?” Asuka asked impatiently.

“Yes there is.”

Misato tipped the grocery bag upside down. Several boxes of candy and two boxes of beer cartons fell out.

“We need to celebrate.”

“Celebrate what?” Shinji asked.

The bright, cheery smile returned to Misato’s face. “You two being the cutest couple in the world.”

Chapter 10

The three had fun that evening eating candy and, in Misato’s case, getting drunk. They acted almost like a happy family. In the moment they seemed to be happy.

Eventually, Misato passed out on the couch and Shinji and Asuka went to Shinji’s room where they cuddled in bed together.

“I’m glad we’re not getting separated,” Shinji noted.
“She should have told us she could hear everything. That’s disgusting. Pervert!”
“At least she got earplugs and a noise maker for the future.”
“You don’t really care that much that she could hear us, do you?”
“It is embarrassing.”
“Why do you do that?”
“What?”
“Let things happen to you? You don’t get upset about anything. Its like you don’t care what happens to you.”
“I don’t really?”
“Why?”
“In the end it doesn’t matter.”
“Well it should matter.”
“Why?”
“Its your life, that’s why! You should care about it!”
“I’m just not like you Asuka. I don’t get upset about things like you do.”
“You should! If you tried the same things I did the first two times we had sex I would have beaten you to death.”
“Its different if you’re a guy.”
“Its not that different.”
“Its just that, you’re a worthwhile person Asuka. You should protect yourself.”
“Are you saying you’re not worthwhile?”
“I guess I am.”
Asuka sat up and looked at him. “Why would you think that?”
Shinji turned away from her and curled into fetal position. “I’ve done such terrible things. I refuse to fight when I should have. I let the other Evas destroy your Eva and you got hurt. I used you in the hospital. I almost choked you to death. I’m a coward. I don’t deserve your attention. I don’t know why you give it to me.”

Asuka pulled him over to face her but he refused to make eye contact.
“Listen to me Shinji. I don’t waste my time with worthless people. It was you who saved us from that Rei monster and sent everyone’s soul back.”
“I don’t think I had anything to do with that. I think it failed on its own.”
“Well you still got in your Eva and tried to fight back, didn’t you?”
“After you got hurt.”
Asuka clenched her fists in frustration. “A worthless person couldn’t make me feel the things you made me feel today.”
“That was your body’s natural response. Anyone could do that.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about! Today I felt like I might-” she paused. She still felt awkward about saying it out loud.

She whispered, “I might love you.”
Shinji looked at her. “Oh… I’m glad.”

Asuka smiled. She felt like she was finally getting through to him.

He turned away again. “If only…”
“If only what?”
He whispered so quietly that she had to lean down to hear him. “If only my father loved me.”
“Is that what this comes down to? Shinji, he abandoned you because he’s an asshole. That had nothing to do with you.”
“Maybe if I was different he wouldn’t have left.”
“That isn’t true. You could have been the most perfect child in the world and he still would have left you because he’s a worthless person, not you.”

Shinji didn’t respond. He continued to lay there avoiding Asuka’s gaze.

Asuka sighed. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her lap with his head resting on her chest.

“I can see this is going to take time,” she said struggling with patience. “You’ve been hating yourself for so long. I can’t fix it in one night. I’ll try to be patient with you like Misato said. In the meantime, remember that I wouldn’t waste a second with a worthless person.”
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I think I love you too,” she whispered back.

Author's note
I'd like to add more but I'm not sure where to take the story from here. If you have any suggestions I'd like to hear them. Let me know what you think so far. Thanks for reading.

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