Greetings, fellow Lilin, I'm Vincent.
I am, in reality, by no means new to Evageeks, let alone the franchise. No, I've been an avid fan ever since the day the franchise changed my life back when I was 15; I'm 22 now. Shortly thereafter, I made an account on here, but barely ever used it or this site.
Evangelion has brought me so many things that I cannot even begin to describe, but most of all, all things considered, it has given me 2 things: A mirror to truly see myself and a window to see everything else so much more clearly. There are many ways in which it has impacted bigger and smaller aspects of my life, including more concrete things like me meeting many of my friends or more subtle concepts like meaning, joy, ambition.
I don't know about you; it may sound far fetched, but it is what it is. Evangelion not only showed me beauty in itself and the messages it carried, but truly taught me to see that beauty elsewhere for myself.
It was around that time that I also had the pleasure of experiencing the most euphoric phase of my life, partially attributed to NGE as well.
This phase gave rise to experiences, lessons, emotions and an image of myself, as well as memories thereof, that I still hold immense value to. It was the time, I feel, when I truly started to live, in a way; unbound from the pain and confusions of the childhood prior to it. Additionally, thanks to Eva, I had the pleasure of meeting some of the most wonderful people that I could have ever asked for in this life and any other. They, too, have defined much of what I am and know and I sincerely hope that they can say the same about me.
To this day, I look back at these motifs and images and see the purest form of myself within them, unsoiled by the stains that had yet to come and truly whole. And Evangelion is one of the major keys, major connections, through which I tap back into this realm. Unfortunately, many recordings and images of that time were lost in a traumatising event, the effects of which I still feel to this day, but that has never truly severed the connection to this past of mine.
Especially after those dreadful experiences, Evangelion and all the other things - images, songs, media - of that time carried for me the memories I needed to remind myself of who I am and that everything is going to be okay, let alone the people from that time that I've still got the pleasure of keeping close.
In the end, I know I am not the exact same individual I was back then, but that's okay, for I know I am both new and old. The 15yo boy with a golden heart never really ceased to exist.
Other, more general and less existential details about myself: I'm a lot of things, I guess. Human, for one, I'd hope.
I am an artist: I illustrate, I write, I have recently dabbled in music, and I guess we can all consider ourselves artists in the mere way our mind can paint and create things. I am a library clerk and love me some good books, albeit that I don't really read much to begin with, but it doesn't stop me from appreciating a good read, obviously. I've graduated from econ and tradesmanship college... No, not uni and no, I don't really like salaryman work, I did it for the education and boi, was it worth it, for all the experiences, social, personal and scholar alike, were worth more than what the mere scholar subjects could have ever promised. My ultimate goal is to become clinical psychotherapist (psychologist, not psychiatrist) and if all goes well, education shall commence next year. Psychology is, in my opinion, the most beautiful science there can be. There is nothing more beautifully grotesque and grotesquely beautiful than the abstractness and complexity of the human mind. A subject matter also introduced to me through NGE, unsirprisingly.
Last but not least: I'm just... fucking complicated in what I would hope are harmless ways; A lot to tell, there is, I guess.
I have come here today to once more reconnect with this aforementioned past, for one, but there's more to it this time.
I've had to battle great discrepancies much too recently that alianated me from myself. The nostalgia brought about by the spring is the kickstart in the right direction that I needed and here I am. Aside from that, however, I felt like it's time for me to meet some more people again, and in particular: people of a group I KNEW I would be part of. Sadly, Covid has eliminated most options for me to look for that IRL, but it's not as though I'd ever had any issues making friends online.
Additionally, I have also begun to present myself through my artist persona, this one I have right now, as a way to be able to truly show who I am and, admittedly, satiate my desire for expression and acknowledgement by having at least some souls on the receiving end.
Aside from that, an unhealthy amount of responsibilities, and the vices I've ended up falling into in response, have been taking up too much of my attention for a while now, let alone my mental energy, and here I am doing something about it by reconnecting with the art piece that has brought me so much joy, as well as the people who can probably, possibly, hopefully, understand exactly where I'm coming from.
Hell, I've been so out of touch that I have, to my dismay, been completely oblivious the release of Eva 3.0 + 4.0. Fucking dreadful, I know. DREADFUL-
Especially after my sister gifted me Evangelion Anima 1, it was that much clearer to me that I had missed out on too much and that this here was the place I needed to start settling in. Be it for my own well being or just the fucks of socialising with you lot, I am eagerly looking forward to getting to know this community better and reconnecting with the biggest "thing" of my teenage years, through the people I'd hope are as bloody awesome as is to be expected for someone with great taste.
TL;DR: Henlo, I'm a bit too much of an open book! :v
Last edited by VindexTD
on Sun Apr 04, 2021 11:34 am, edited 4 times in total.
Ain't nothing wrong with a little tear-shedding, every once in a while.