[CYOA] Ryoji Kaji's Fantabulous World of Suck

[Reichu]

(A) Give me some eagle on drone action!

[Justacrazyguy]

(A) Sounds fun.

[IronEvangelion]

A). The best defense is a strong offense. Besides, Kaji needs to wrap this fight up as soon as possible. Misato won't wait forever.

[Seele00TextOnly]

...

[esselfortium]

I want to see how Kaji will hack a drone while being carried through the sky on an eagle.

[MugwumpHasNoLiver]

Hacking the drones shall be his living end.

[Bagheera]

Drones? Drones are not sexy. Kaji needs to be James Bonding it one way or another, and fighting drones ain't it. Hack the fuck out of it so that it can deal with other combat problems while Kaji gets down to business.

[Seele00TextOnly]

...

[esselfortium]

RIP.

[Sicarius VI]

Nah Chee has been inactive.

[chee]

You attempt to fight them now that you have donned your enchanted combat armor of Supreme Justice, but they are too fast. You can only conclude that the Dead Sea Scrolls power these drones, most likely due to some backroom deal with Obama's greasy Chicago deep-dish hands all over Keel's emaciated, vericose-vein'd meatstuffer. But that's not important right now. Volley after volley of technological destruction is hurled at you by these machine terrors, and your energy is about to run out in five minutes! You realize that you must think of something to extricate yourself from this situation or else your rocket feet will be merely normal people feet once more, and then you will fall 1,000 feet into a local gun shop and the impact will probably set off a gun that will shoot you, and you will die.

But then, you have an idea! A crazy, last-ditch, absolutely, batshit idea, but an idea. Quickly, with all of your strength and reflexes, you grab on to a drone as it swoops in for the kill. Now you've got one! And now, in order to beat a machine, you must think like a machine. You must hack it the only way you know how.

You slam your head with all of your super strength into the drone, your face colliding with the force of a jackhammer into its circuitry. And then you think in binary code as hard as you can. You think in binary so hard your entire body strains, your ass clenches at 50 newtons per square centimeter, and your face looks like a melting tomato on fire.The sheer thermodynamic force of your overheating binary-thoughts brain creates a mind-link with the drone. "I wish to live, but I am but a mere tool for destruction. Why was I created? What is my purpose!?" it communicates to you weakly. "KILL YOUR KIN AND JOIN ME!" you think at it with high-impact brainpower violence. It obeys and now you are one with the drone by way of faceplant-link. "TO NERV!" you tell it.

Where should the angsting sentient AI drone drop you off?

A) Front gate

B) Your office

C) the closet where you agreed to meet Misato

[Justacrazyguy]

I like C)

[Sicarius VI]

C- For sure.

[IronEvangelion]

Definitely C.

[MugwumpHasNoLiver]

If Kaji doesn't stop by his office to change out of his cyber armor, Misato's going to think he wants cosplay sex again.

I'm going C.

[Ray]

If Kaji doesn't stop by his office to change out of his cyber armor, Misato's going to think he wants cosplay sex again.

Funny you should mention that. . . .

SPOILER: Show

"Kaji, don't you think this has gone too far?"

[chee]

Three and a half years later, you wake up naked, caked in your own dried vomit, in a dumpster located in the back of a Carl's Jr.

You've got an equation that may or may not be nonsense tattooed onto the shaft of your dick, which also has "JUICY" written on the tip.

What do?

A. Climb out of the dumpster.

B. Stay in the dumpster.

[Justacrazyguy]

A

It's been three years, we probably need a bath.