So if people sling mud at your own lifestyle, saying that it's "loathsome and unhealthy", you're perfectly fine with that?
If they can rationalize the statement, then yes. To simply say someone's doing something wrong without justifying why it would be wrong is just annoying and serves no purpose. To say that what they're doing is wrong, and give reasons for that position, even if the other person disagrees, is perfectly fine with me, even if I'm the target. I'm sure as hell not a perfect person, and I wouldn't call myself a particularly good one, so I'm not immune to criticism, and neither is anyone else.
Humans can be attracted to attributes of other individuals aside from (and in spite of) their personality. It's pretty obviously not a package deal for everyone.
This is honestly an alien topic to me. If I don't respect someone, I find them unattractive for that reason alone, regardless of appearance. To find someone you hate attractive is just..disturbing. It seems to me to be a lack of regard for the other person as an individual beyond their body, a sexual objectification of another living human, and that has disturbing implications no matter how you look at it. It betrays a sort of sexism, or misanthropy, or lack of self-respect, or even a slightly "rapey" attitude.