Tengen Toppa WARK-angelion

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Tengen Toppa WARK-angelion

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Postby UrsusArctos » Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:52 pm

"SHINJIII IKAARRRIII!!!! You're fired!" shouted village chief Shiro Tokita. And then Shinji Ikari woke up from his little bed in his little underground village and jumped to attention.

"Sir, yes sir, Mr. Tokita!" Shinji snapped to salute. His school uniform was dusty and dirty and he smelled from hours of digging with a cello.

"You've forgotten to finish making a hole in tunnel number twenty-three!"

"Ca...can I be un-fired if I complete it?" Shinji asked.

"Okay. Shinji, you're hired!" Shiro Tokita said, walking away. "Remember, we need to expand our little village deeper and deeper and forget all talk about going up to 'the surface', whatever that is!"

Shinji shook his head and went to work without breakfast. "Should I call him Mr. Tokita or Mr. Spaceley?"

He was stopped when something about the right size to bump him in the groin bumped into him, poking him really hard.
"OW!"
"WARK!"

"Oh, it's you, Pen-Pen. Sorry, I kinda didn't see you were here..."

"Wark. Why do you stop thinking about Tokita? Remember, believe in the you that believes in you!" Pen-Pen said, complete with a dramatic, theatrical gesture.

"Oy! Knock it off, penguin, or I'll turn you into Penguin-meat just like all the others!" said Tokita.

"WARK! If I ever got you to Antartica, I'd turn you into Soylent Green!"

Shinji picked up his Cello. "Well, musical digging it is. I have to make do with a cello and not a drill, and hope that the music makes the tunnel collapse..."

"Music making things collapse? WARK! This is Evangelion, err...Gurren Lagann...err...whatever! Whatever it is, it's not RahXephon!" Pen-Pen said.

"If you say so, Pen-Pen." Shinji said.

"Wark! Call me Aniki!" Pen-Pen said.

"Aniki? But we're not related! Uhmm...and I'm a human and you're a penguin!"

"Wark! But all lifeforms have descended from single-celled organisms living three point five billion years ago. So that makes us...uh...cousins removed a couple of billion times? That's good enough for me! We're brothers!"

"O...okay, Aniki."

Pen-Pen pulled out a pair of orange triangle shades and put them on.
"Wark! All I have to do now is find a red scarf, bring up a Katana and hold it up against a giant robot, and then shout, ORE WO DARE DA TO OMOTTE YAGARUUUUU!!!!!"

BOOOOM. Down came the cieling of Shinji's little underground village.

"Wwaaaaaaahhhh!!!" Pen-Pen and Shinji screamed together as a huge pink Mecha crashed through the roof of their underground village.

Some rocking music began to play from the speakers on the pink mecha, and the pilot jumped out. She was a girl in a pink plugsuit with her har done in twin pigtails. She had eyes like a cat and teeth like a shark. She spoke in a deep, raspy voice with an Al Capone-style gangster accent.

"Tokita, pay up! Nyao!" she said.

To be continued.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Sep 29, 2013 10:01 pm

Imagine that Viral's "Nikopol" is playing if you want to get a feel of this scene.

Shinji and Pen-Pen stared. Tokita babbled.

"P...P...Please, give us time to pay up! Our digging project met with unexpected difficulties and we need a larger budget to meet phase one hundred and ninety-six of the construction plan..." Tokita would have rambled on and on further, but he was cut short by Mari.

"You're slow, pal. Pay up, or I send someone to the hospital!"

Shinji asked, "Umm...who are you?"

Mari turned. "Second Lilin Eradication Squad, Former East Asia Region Vice-Commander, Mari. Pleased to meet you."

Shinji was about to say "Umm...pleased to meet you." but Mari stopped him from speaking, sniffed him, and said, "Mmm! Got a real cutie here. You look and smell like a puppy. I used to have one, you know."

Pen-Pen asked, "Why do you have teeth like a shark and eyes like a cat? It just isn't human!"

Mari grinned from ear to ear, exposing a mouth full of triangular, serrated teeth. Shinji gulped. "I used to have a little kitty as a pet, and a baby Mako shark too. So when I signed up, I couldn't afford to keep away from them. The boss offered to bring them together with me forever, so here I am : no one's gonna separate me from my pets ever again!"

Tokita bowed and said, "Hey, we'd really appreciate it if you would..."

"NO! According to the LSE study on this village, you owe us one hundred fifty-two million two hundred and thirty-five thousand fifty-six loli. You've paid us none."

Tokita asked, "LSE...?"

Shinji said, "Err...London School of Economics...?"

"Don't be stupid, kid! We wiped London off the map centuries ago! It's the Lordgendo School of Economics, the only one in the world!!!" Mari said.

Pen-Pen asked, "What's Lordgendo?"

"Lordgendo, birdbrain, is the Evil Ambassador and Der Uberpimp. He's the boss and the one who keeps everything in line!"

"Birdbrain, you called me?" Pen-Pen asked.

"Okay, shrimp-brain if that's what you eat." Mari said.

Pen-Pen flexed his wings. "These feathers and sparkles have been passed down the Penguin line for generations! Who the hell do you think I am? I am...EMPEROR PENGUIN!!!!"

Shinji snapped to salute. "HAIL!"

"WARK!"

Mari stared at them for a moment, and then smiled. "You're in the wrong fanfic. Shinji doesn't have any Warhammer figurines in this one!"

Pen-Pen said, "Oh, shit..."

Mari said, "Also, you know what sharks down in Antarctica eat?"

Shinji said, "Uh...Penguin!"

Mari said, "That's the right answer!"

Pen-Pen said, "Goodbye, world..."

"Not yet! I need to find my recipe for Chinese-Antarctic Peking Penguin! I'll share a little with you, puppy-boy."

Shinji said, "Uhmm...I'm a vegetarian..."

"Okay, you can lick up my gravy." Mari said. She glared at Tokita and said, "As for you, lard-ass, I'm gonna get Amity-Island Mincemeat Curry recipe so I can eat you as well - if you don't pay me up by the time I'm back!"

Mari left.

"What do we do now, Pen-Pen?" Shinji asked.

"There's a bobblehead penguin robot somewhere downstairs in this place..." Pen-Pen said.

Shiro Tokita said, "No way you don't! I'm using that robot to get out of here, and you two had better finish digging so I can pay her up!"

Pen-Pen said, "Who the hell do you think I am?"

"I heard that one just now." Tokita said.

Pen-Pen cracked his 'knuckles' and went "Aaaaah...."

"If you're trying to scare me, you're...."

"AAAWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARK...!!!!!"

Pen-Pen smacked Tokita in the face with his wings a hundred times a second. Shinji said, "Wow. Isn't this from another post-apocalyptic manga or something?"

"AAAWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARK...!!!!! The Hundred Crack Flap of the Penguin Star! You are already red!" Pen-Pen said.

Shiro Tokita's face was very red indeed and he fell unconscious.

"Bobblehead doll, here we come!" Pen-Pen said. "Come along, Shinji!"
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
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You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Agentomega » Mon Sep 30, 2013 1:36 pm

View Original PostUrsusArctos wrote:"AAAWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARK...!!!!! The Hundred Crack Flap of the Penguin Star! You are already red!" Pen-Pen said.


:hitthetable:

Best. Joke. EVAR. Between this and the Adam Kadmon joke, consider me insta-hooked. Also, I can't help but think of Viral!Mari as sounding like Black!Hanekawa.

Good work XD
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Postby UrsusArctos » Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:41 am

Thanks, Agentomega! But wasn't Shinji and Warhammer 40K the work of Charles Bhepin, not Adam Kadmon?

Part 3:

Shinji said, "So we have Shiro Tokita on the ground and very red, we're in a giant underground village with a hole in its roof, and how are we supposed to get up to the top?"

"Pack your cello in the doll, kid, and listen up. Because I've been saving this for a very special day!" Pen-Pen said. He walked up to a penguin-sized closet and pulled out a large red rocket. "I just attach this to the bottom of the bobblehead, both of us get inside, and then I strike a match and light the fuse. We get a free ride to the surface and then we use the doll's batteries to bobble our way across. How does that sound?"

"Umm...it's good, but there's something about it that's on the back of my mind..." Shinji said.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Pen-Pen said. "What can go wrong? Now get in there!"

Shinji obediently got in, Pen-Pen struck a match and lit the fuse before hopping in. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, zero...we have ignition! Liftoff!"

The bobblehead doll soared up through the hole in the cieling. Shinji screamed, "Uwwaaahhhh!!!!"

Pen-Pen shouted, "This is the story of the bold crew of the starship Penguinprize, boldly going where no man has gone before! My WARK is the WARK....that pierces the HEAVENS!!!! To infinity and beyond!!!!!"

Shinji suddenly smacked his head. "We're flying on a rocket!" he said.

"So what?"

"Rockets explode!"

Pen-Pen laughed. "This isn't Toy Story!"

BOOOOOOOM.

The Rocket's Explosion sent the bobblehead doll careening wildly through the air.

"What's going on?" Pen-Pen asked, horrified.

"It expanded!" Shinji said.

"This isn't a hot spring and I ain't staring at that thing between your legs, toothpick boy! It exploded, maybe. But now I'm gonna show you how a real pro operates!"

Pen-Pen popped off the top of the bobblehead doll and raised an umbrella.

"Will it be enough?" Shinji asked.

Pen-Pen said, "You bet."

They landed on something with a loud poof. Whatever they had landed on deflated with a loud hiss, gently lowering them to the ground.

"What did I tell ya?" Pen-Pen asked.

"We landed on a balloon or air-cushion or something like that." Shinji said.

"Wark! Don't be such a pessimist! Remember Shinji, believe in the penguin that believes in you!"

A shadow suddenly blocked the sunlight from the open top.

Shinji asked, "What's that?"

Pen-Pen looked up and went, "Waaaaark!"

Three massive figures, each nearly fifty meters in height, greeted them. The first and scariest-looking was a huge blob-like thing with stumpy legs and what looked like toilet paper for arms, with a grinning mask-like face. The second had a long, bird-like mask for a face and long green arms. Both were dressed in gigantic versions of gangster-style Zoot Suits, complete with broad-brimmed hats on their 'shoulders' where a human's head should have been. The third, dressed in furs and probably female, was shaped like a giant purple-pink phallus and dangled a pair of glowing energy tentacles.

"So, what do we have here? Lilin!" Said the one with the grinning-face.

Bird-face said, "Whose turn is it to stomp it?"

"I believe it's my turn now, boys." said the purple phallus, in a very seductive voice.

"W...wait, who or what are you?" Pen-Pen asked.

"We do work for da boss, get it?" said grinning-face.

Shinji said, "Umm....pleased to meet you, I'm Shinji Ikari..."

"Oh, you want to introduce yourselves, huh? Think you so tough? Well, take a good look at us! I'm Zeruel, and I'm the guy who toilet-papers people to toilet paper!" Zeruel took a stab at a large rock near the bobblehead, and the rock stayed intact for a second.

"Nothing happened." Pen-Pen said.

The rock fell in two, sliced neatly in half.

Shinji and Pen-Pen screamed together.

"And I'm Sachiel." said the bird-faced thing. "You're in trouble, punks."

"And I, you helpless little things, am Shamshel." said the female phallus-thing "And I love to whip up a little trouble from time to time." Shamshel let out a seductive, evil laugh.

And then a hundred or so strange hovercraft turned up - strange flying things with rocket pods and the word "NERV" on their sides.

"At least the cavalry's arrived." Shinji said.

"Do youse punks think that they'd be shooting at us? They're on our side." Zeruel said.

"Do I still believe in the penguin that believes in me?" Shinji asked Pen-Pen, and was answered by a thunk. Pen-Pen had fainted in fright.

And then, in came a huge red monster, a little smaller than the other three and noticeably more human-looking. Unlike the others, it looked like a robot, and it didn't wear a suit.

"Well, well, what we got here?" Zeruel asked. "Eva Nigoki."

"Why did the Eva get arthiritis?" Sachiel asked. "Because its knee go 'Kee'."

Shamshel said, "Lay off the poor jokes, honey, you really get a girl bored."

Sachiel said, "Oops, sorry."

A voice emerged from inside Eva-02, "Having fun here, are we, boys? Today, the great Soryu Asuka Langley will show you who's the boss!"

"Don't forget your darling Kyoko, Asuka-chan!" said a second voice.

"I ain't forgotten the last time I busted your ass!" Zeruel said.

"Grin as much as you like, lard-bucket, because I know you forgot to get a new set of contact lenses from Haruhi!" Asuka said.

Zeruel reached into the pockets of his suit. "Damn it, she's right!"

Shamshel said, "Sachi honey, don't you have a spare pair?"

"Uh-oh, I think I forgot mine too!" Sachiel said.

Zeruel said, "We'll have to do things the old-fashioned way. Reach for da sky, you louses!"

Sachiel extended his energy-lances from his palms, Shamshel turned her whips an even brighter shade of red, and Zeruel extended his toilet paper arms of doom. The Nerv hovercraft, taking a cue, all surrounded Eva-02.

Soryu Asuka Langley said, "We're in for a damn good day!" And she sounded like she meant it.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby UrsusArctos » Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:09 pm

Eva-02, faced with a horde of hovercraft and three gangster angels, put up a fight to prove why Asuka, not Shinji, was the best Eva pilot of all. Mother and daughter started it off with a bang.

Asuka shouted "A.T. Field maximum!" She pulled out two handguns and began firing away, guns akimbo. Since an Eva handgun is the size of a tank weapon, it took only one hit to get rid of each nosey hovercraft. Asuka jumped up.

"Eeeeyaaaah! Try my battle ballet, suckers!" Asuka said, throwing Eva-02 into a graceful pirouette that involved kicking the interfering hovercraft coming up close. For whatever reason, they persisted in heading up close and launching rockets within range of Asuka's kicks.

"Wow." Pen-Pen said. "She would do pretty well in American Idol."

"American Idol? But we're Japanese, and America doesn't exist any more..." Shinji said.

Pen-Pen said, "When you have me, who needs Simon Cowell?"

Shinji said, "Um...Susan Boyle...?"

Their conversation was interrupted by a hovercraft crashing right next to them. A pig-man hybrid in 1920s-era piloting gear staggered out of the cockpit and collapsed in a heap.

"I suppose he was literally doing the pig-headed thing?" Shinji said, scratching his head.

The remaining Nerv hovercraft scattered like spiderlings as Eva-02 tossed aside its smoking guns.

"Now it's just the Asari three!" Asuka said.

Zeruel said, "Toughen up, punk! We isn't hovercraft!"

Sachiel said, "That's right! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?"

Pen-Pen shouted, "WARK!!! That's my line!!!"

And Shamshel said, "Don't be rude boys. Remember, it's always ladies first!"

Shamshel swung out her whips left, right and center, and Asuka and Kyoko sent Eva-02 flying high in the air, dodging expertly. Asuka whipped out the Eva's prog knife and began a long hack-and-slash fight against Shamshel.

"Progressive knives versus laser tentacles? This isn't The Count of Monte Cristo!" Pen-Pen said.

Shinji said, "It's better than the knife stuff in V for Vendetta."

Eva-02 kicked a cloud of dust in Shamshel's face, and when the dust cleared, Eva-02 was behind Shamshel.

"Needle launcher - FIRE!" Asuka shouted, and a whole lot of needles went into Shamshel's 'butt'. Shamshel jumped up and howled, dancing around.

"What do you call a giant phallus with giant needles stuck in it?" Asuka asked.

Shinji said, "Umm...a prickly dick?"

Asuka shouted, "That's the right answer!"

Sachiel shouted, "No fair!"

Zeruel shouted, "We'll blast you together!"

Kyoko spoke up, "Have you forgotten something? Your prescriptions from the laser contact lenses from the Technological Singularity Clinic were with Sachi. As usual, he forgot...which is why both of you are missing your laser contact lenses! Don't you remember, Zer?"

Zeruel shouted, "What?"

Sachiel said, "Huh? I don't remember..."

"You were supposed to remind me, you dolt! How am I supposed to remember medical prescriptions?"

Sachiel said, "Hey, you said nothing!"

"No-head nitwit!" Zeruel said.

Sachiel shot and energy lance and smacked Zeruel in the face. Zeruel snarled and smacked Sachiel across the face with his toilet-paper arms. Zer being stronger than Sachi, Sachi had no choice but to run. Zer continued chasing Sachi across the landscape, with Shamshel running away ahead of them.

Kyoko said, "You see? If you're fighting stupid people, you just need to get them to fight each other!"

Asuka said, "No fun!"

"That's the last of them." Shinji said.

"Anta baka? Those goons will be back!" Asuka said, and Eva-02 unscrewed its head and placed it next to them. A teenage girl and a young woman, both in identical red plugsuits stepped out.

Shinji stared at the teenage girl. "Oh, hi....ummm...I'm Shinji Ikari..."

Asuka slapped him across the face. "Anta baka? That's not how you introduce yourself to a girl!" She cleared her throat. "Soryu Asuka Langley, the one, the only! Pleased to meet you!" she said.

Meanwhile, Kyoko pulled out a strange-looking doll. "Isn't it time for lunch, my dear little Asuka-chan?"

Asuka pulled a rubber mallet out of hammerspace and hit Kyoko on the head. Kyoko snapped back to normal. "Oh, hi. Uhmmm....Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin, angenehm!" she said.

Shinji whispered to Asuka, "Your big sister is really pretty!"

Asuka hissed, "She's my mother, you dolt!"

More to come!
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Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Reichu » Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:55 pm

That was surreal. But funny. I'll take more.
What if... Kaworu bonded with Misato instead of Shinji, and the two of them were siblings?
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Postby Agentomega » Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:23 pm

View Original PostUrsusArctos wrote:Thanks, Agentomega! But wasn't Shinji and Warhammer 40K the work of Charles Bhepin, not Adam Kadmon?


Ah, you're right! It's been so long since I've read it that there has been attribution error in my brain! I am so ashamed of my mistake.

Also, the references. Good lawd I love references.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Fri Oct 11, 2013 1:10 am

Asuka and Kyoko picked up the bobblehead Pen-Pen doll and took Shinji and Pen-Pen to their "village" - which looked like a giant school compound.

"Is that a school building?" Shinji asked.

"That's right. It's the Tokyo-3 Municipal High School, the place where all potential Eva pilots reside! It's our base against all the Angels!" Asuka said, proudly.

Pen-Pen pointed at a strange old man in a janitor's costume. "Who's that?"

"That's Nebukawa-no-sensei. He's an old teacher here who does a hundred odd jobs. Oh, and he's used to spouting random propaganda at odd times, so don't mind him." Asuka said.

Kyoko said, "It's time for roasted Bardi-slime!"

"Bardi-slime?" Shinji and Pen-Pen asked.

"We're growing a slime fungus Angel here for food. Toji's gotten it under cover." Asuka said.

"They're eating an Angel...?" Pen-Pen asked.

"YUMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!!!!!" Kyoko said, jumping down and running ahead with the Asuka doll. Shinji and Pen-Pen didn't know whether to be disgusted or not.

Toji Suzuhara stood at the side of a pool of slime, shouting for more doleouts.
"I know you're making more of that goop where you came from, Bardi, so keep up with the goop!"

"Stop eating me!" said Bardiel.

"We'll stop once we think you're sorry enough for hijacking my Eva! Did you want me to lose an arm and a leg?" Toji asked.

Toji's mother said, "That's enough for today, Toji dear."

Little Sakura said, "Can I have strawberry-flavored goop today, Bardi? Please, please...?"

"He only ever makes blueberry goop." Toji said, making a face. Bardiel had very poor taste - but what would one expect of an Angel?

Shinji and Pen-Pen watched. All of a sudden an enormous blast of hot wind nearly knocked the bobblehead doll over. The roar of jet engines filled the air.
"It's like being in a tornado!" Shinji said.

And then the howl of the jet engines died down, followed by, "Oooh! Sugoi, sugoi! I have a nice little toy to play with!"

"Who are you?" Shinji asked, staring at the nerdy kid in glasses who had just landed his VTOL jet fighter.

"I am Kensuke Aida, tech-priest, and this beauty - " he patted his aircraft lovingly " - is the Yakovlev Sorok-Tri-Ooh-Em. Dva pilota, maximalni skorast dve tisyati dvesti kilometerov ve chas..."

"Say what? We don't speak Russian!" Pen-Pen said.

"This is the Yak-43UM trainer, with two pilots, a maximum speed of two thousand two hundred kilometers per hour, a maximum disposable load of two thousand five hundred kilograms..."

Kensuke's breathless description of his supersonic VTOL aircraft was interrupted by his copilot, a rather attractive woman in her late twenties who looked drunk and smelled of beer.

"Hi there! I'm Misato. Misato Katsuragi. I think I'm going to put the moves on you...!!!" said Misato.

"No Big Irony Bomb this time?" Pen-Pen asked.

Shinji said, "I think I'm in trouble!"

What terrible fate will befall Shinji and Pen-Pen? Will the drunk Misato get to have her way with him? Or is it Pen-Pen she's after? Watch the rest on the next episode of Tengen Toppa Wark-Angelion!!!!
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Reichu » Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:00 am

Why do I have such a big smile on my face? How is this possible?

Fun! Keep going! :D
What if... Kaworu bonded with Misato instead of Shinji, and the two of them were siblings?
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Postby UrsusArctos » Sat Oct 12, 2013 10:54 pm

Glad to hear that! :D

*Gendo voice* Everything is proceeding according to the scenario. :emogendo:

Drunk Misato staggered towards Shinji and Pen-Pen.

"Shinji, please come over here! My hands are extremely flexible!"

Pen-Pen said, "Okay, that settles it, I'm outta here!"

"Pen-Pen, honey, won't you please come over...?"

Shinji said, "You're in trouble too!"

Pen-Pen said, "Now we need something to save us at the speed of light!"

It was at that point that class representative Hikari Horaki made her appearance in a puff of smoke.

"Misato-saaaaaan!!!!" Hikari yelled.

Misato snapped to salute.

"You're drunk, you're stinky and you're disgusting! You're drunk thanks to too much beer in the morning, you leave your fridge full of snacks, you don't brush your teeth, and you're dressed in a too-short tank top and cut-off jeans that make you look like walking fanservice! In the name of saabisu, go back and freshen up! And wash your hair!"

Misato said, "Yes, ma'am!"

Asuka walked on to the scene and stared at the departing Misato, who was marching away drunkenly. "Why do the two of us have to be the only ones in charge of these crazies, Hikari?"

"We're the only sane people left." said Hikari.

Pen-Pen said, "Wark! We could help."

Hikari looked at Pen-Pen and said, "You're so cuuuute!!!" She picked up Pen-Pen and cuddled him, and Pen-Pen hugged her. "Aaaah, I think I'm in love already...!"

Shinji said, "Uhh...what in the name of avian biology is going on here?"

Kensuke had been examining Pen-Pen's bobblehead doll intently, but a sudden beeping sent him scrambling into the school. They all heard him shout over the loudspeakers, "Radar on our S-300PMV missile system has detected unknown object violating our airspace on a ballistic trajectory!"

Asuka shouted, "What are you waiting for? Ready the missiles!"

Somewhere nearby, they heard Toji's mother say, "Dear, I feel something moving under my feet..."

Toji said, "Mom, you're standing on top of the missile hatches! They can't open with you on them!"

Asuka and Hikari facepalmed simultaneously.

The strange object came crashing down on the school compound and ground to a halt.

"What is that thing? It looks like a container of some sort..." Shinji said.

And then it opened, hissing steam.

"What's going to come out of it?" Shinji asked, terrified.

"Godzilla? Rodan? King Ghidorah? Armored Mothra? Naaah...I think we've done this before. It can't be worse than Ghidorah..." Pen-Pen said.

And out of the strange container arose a girl.

She was very beautiful, with red eyes and short blue hair. She wore what looked like a cross between Sailor Mercury's outfit and an Arume uniform from Blue Drop, with a floor-length white cape and a sailor fuku in blue and white (with the region around her navel cut away).

Pen-Pen was not amused. "It's Little Miss Fanservice! And ever since when did a classic Shojo anime get mixed up with Yuri?! Where in the name of Hentai is this coming from? This is supposed to be the Premium Girl, the deconstruction of all silent, subservient girls! All we get instead is fan...brbnrrblrbggr...DISSERVICE!!!"

Hikari said, "I think this was meant to be a parody or something..."

"Is it really time to break the Fourth Wall? I don't think so!!!!" Pen-Pen said, as red in the face as a hot springs penguin can possibly get.

"I am Ayanami Rei. Where am I?" Rei asked.

"She sure has Rei-ned on our parade!" Pen-Pen said, facepalming. "Wait a moment! I'll be bahcck!!!"

Shinji stared at her, having suddenly developed a nosebleed.

"She's beautiful....!" he said.

Asuka promptly pulled out her rubber mallet and banged away at poor Shinji's head, shouting 'baka' each time she did it. "Baka! Baka! Baka baka baka baka baka...!!! We're the ones meant for each other, not you and her!"

Shinji saw stars flying around his head. "Wow!" He said, "She looks so pretty with stars flying around her..."

Asuka facepalmed.

Rei stared at Shinji. "You make me feel warm and fuzzy inside...warm and fuzzy feelings..."

Shinji embraced Rei. "You're so...warm..."

In the distance, Sakura burst out laughing, and Toji facepalmed. Hikari shouted, "You're living in sin!"

"What is sin?" Rei asked.

"Desperate situations call for desperate measures, and this desperate measure is not Paprika or Lil' Slugger!" Pen-Pen said, marching forwards with a screw jack and a Gunnery Sergeant's Cap on his head. He promptly used the screw jack to separate Shinji and Rei, and then used the tool to crank himself up to Rei's eye level.

Shinji said, "But she's a friend..."

Pen-Pen said, "Silence! We're at war, MAGGOT, and show me your WAR FACE!!! It's time I go all ERMEY on you!!!!"

Rei said, "What's Ermey...?"

Shinji staggered back. Neither he nor Pen-Pen paid attention to Toji or Kensuke. Toji asked, "Hey, what are you doing with the last remaining chicken in the school, Kensuke?"

"Now get this straight, MAGGOT! And don't you in-teh-rupt-me, boy! I don't care about any Jah-puh-nese pro-nun-ci-eh-shuns, because I am a Drill Sergeant now!"

Hikari whispered to Asuka, "He's cute when he talks like that."

Asuka said, "I'd say. Let him give it to her!"

"You..." He pointed his wing at Rei's face, an inch from her nose. "You are Ah-yah-nah-mee Rei, geddit? You! Are ! Not! Yo-ko from Goo-ren Lag-gann..."

Shinji didn't dare correct Pen-Pen's pronunciation of "Gurren Lagann"...

"...you are not an Ah-roo-mi from Blue Drop, you are not a Sailor Sen-shee from Sailor Moon, you are not a Strike Wee-tches character, you are not Faye Va-len-tine from Bee-bop and you are most certainly not Captain Shee-kee-nammy from Eh-Van-Smellion Poo-Point-No! I may be Hideaki Rupert or Hideaki Thompson, but as long as you were made by Hideaki An-no, you are meant to be Ay-uh-nammy Rei, so cut out the fanservice!!!"


"What's fanservice?" Rei asked, flatly.

Pen-Pen blew a fuse and collapsed on the spot. Asuka turned red in the face and Hikari had to calm her down.

Kensuke said, "Is that the radar again...?"

A huge, horrible red monster that looked like Eva-02 came crashing down right next to the school. Its pilot, who looked like Asuka except for her eyepatch and a different shade of hair, popped up on top of its head.

"Did someone say my name?"

Pen-Pen said, "Who the flying flamey-O are you?"

"I am the great captain Shikinami Asuka Langley, and you are all so...old-century."

The badly drunk Misato went about in a whirlwind, changing into a Sailor Moon costume.
"All right, Eva pilots, in the name of the moon..."

"Wrong costume!" Hikari shouted.

Pen-Pen said, "Is this supposed to be Looney Tunes...?"

Misato looked down, turned red in the face, went about in another whirlwind and got into her normal uniform and beret.

"Evangelions 02 and 03, launch at once!" she said.

Pen-Pen said, "That's more like it!"

Any pretentions of seriousness were knocked out when Kensuke suddenly shouted. "All right, let's do this!"

Misato turned around. "Did he drink my beer or something?"

Pen-Pen said, "Sure looks like it...HEY!!! That's MY bobblehead!!!"

Kensuke, in the bobblehead doll, continued. "LEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOYYYYYYYYY JJJJJJEEEEEEEEENNNNNNKKKKIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!!!!!!!"

Captain Shikinami grinned from ear to ear, her eye and eyepatch glowing.

Will crazy Kensuke's attack on Captain Shikinami turn out to be a Kamikaze mission? What fate awaits Pen-Pen? What is going on with Rei's bizarre outfit? Why are so many references colliding? Worst of all, will Pen-Pen share the fate of the great leader of Jiha village's Dai-Gurren-Dan, the tenacious demon leader and man of raging billows, Kamina?

Find out when Tengen Toppa Wark-Angelion continues!!!

And of course, there will (not) be more fanservice!!!
Last edited by UrsusArctos on Sun Oct 13, 2013 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Sun Oct 13, 2013 12:54 am

*Flexes 'fic-reviewing muscles*

View Original PostUrsusArctos wrote:A pig-man hybrid in 1920s-era piloting gear staggered out of the cockpit and collapsed in a heap.


Love this! :lol:

Cute and very silly, you got some fun stuff going on here. :asuka_thumbsup: Soryu and Kyoko piloting Eva-02 together is adorable. Asuka's (Soryu) is giving me (slight) Yoko vibes with her role.

View Original PostUrsusArctos wrote:In the name of saabisu, go back and freshen up!


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Postby UrsusArctos » Wed Oct 16, 2013 1:09 am

Captain Shikinami grinned evilly, her eye and eyepatch glowing.

Asuka said, "That's the trouble with you Rebuild morons! Human eyes don't glow! That's reserved for Evas!"

Shinji said, "But aren't...weren't...eh...uh..."

"What?"

"Well, Evas used to be people..."

"Maybe, but my Eva is a Jaeger and that thing out there might as well be a Kaiju! So I'm going to take down that monstrosity or my name is Stacker Pentecost!" Asuka turned to her mother and both of them flexed their muscles, Kaidankovsky-style.

Pen-Pen said, "What kind of a clown has a name like that? Stacker Pentecost, seriously?"

"A sergeant from Halo?" Shinji asked.

Suddenly, a giant pink mecha turned up on the battlefield, and a familiar figure in a pink Zoot Suit popped out, waving a cookbook at Shinji and Pen-Pen.

"It's Antarctice Penguin Curry time! I even got stuff to cook him!"

Shikinami said, "I prefer a plain barbecue, American-style, glasses, and I'm going to show you how to barbecue Penguin!"

"Your cooking's awful, cyclops! Leave this to a pro!"

Kensuke said, "Oy, you forgot me between instalments! LEEEEEERRROOOOOYYYYY JJJEEEEENNNNKKIIIIINNNNSSS!!!!" He sent the bobblehead doll bobbling towards Captain Shikinami.

Shikinami leapt into her Evil Nigoki and began to move in the Northern Shaolin style.

Pen-Pen leapt into the bobblehead and so did Shinji. A punch-up proceeded between the three of them, with stars and Batman-style (Campy Adam West Batman-style, that is) exclamation marks and solid onomatopeia shooting out. "BIFF! THONK! POW! OOF!"

Hikari said, "How do noises from a punch-up become solid, anyway?"

Toji shrugged. "No idea."

Shikinami Asuka Langley said, "Princess Azula grand power-up...instant Northern Shaolin Kamehame Hadoken Penguin RRROOOOOAAAAASSSSTTTTT!!!!"

She pointed two fingers at the bobblehead doll and firebended. A long blast of firebending flames - first red, then orange, and then blue - shot out from Eva-02 as Asuka firebended through her Eva. After several seconds, the bobblehead doll was roasted.

Shikinami grinned. "Smells like chicken!"

Mari said, "A little too much like chicken..."

Misato pulled off her beret and coat and began fanning herself. "Phew! It's hot in here!"

And then she realized the obvious. "Shinji! Pen-Pen! Kensuke!" she shouted.

Shikinami hopped down from Evil Nigoki and looked into the roasted bobblehead. "What the...it IS chicken!"

She kicked over the bobblehead, revealing a hole in the ground.

The next moment, a mound of dirt rose up from under her feet and she was knocked over.

"You ruined my bobblehead, you blockhead!" Pen-Pen screamed.

"And look at my poor cello!" Shinji said. "It's in awful state after I dug with it!"

Kensuke pulled out some nicely roasted chicken. "At least I have chicken." He said, munching on it.

Pen-Pen facepalmed.

Asuka Langley Soryu shouted, "Shikinami Asuka Langley, we will get rid of you if it's the last thing we do!"

Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu shouted, "Team Soryu stands tall and mighty in the face of official fanfiction!"

"Tin-Can destroyer, you are facing the fastest aircraft carrier in the Imperial Japanese Navy!" Asuka said.

And together, mother and daughter shouted, "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!!?"

To be continued.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
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The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:07 am

By chance, did you read my CYOA before writing this? :lol:

Excellent work. If it weren't for the fact I'm in school right now I'd be laughing my arse off.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Wed Oct 16, 2013 8:58 am

I had absolutely no idea your CYOA existed before reading this (I never go into the RP subforum). So I read about one-quarter of the CYOA and found some of it absolutely hilarious, like bringing in Yoko and the Dai-Kaizokusen-Gan! :lol:

Since you're also a fan of Gurren Lagann-style hotblooded attacks, there's one I have in store for the next part of the battle.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:25 am

Thank you, UrsusArctos-senpai! I am truly honoured. I will admit that I ran out of material towards the end, but I'm glad you liked it!

I'm thinking of doing a Gendo CYOA next time, so who knows, maybe you could participate?

Anyway, I shall stop hijacking the thread. I can't wait for the next chapter!

(Oh, and FYI, even though I have never watched/read Fist of the North Star, the "AWARKWARKWARKWARKWARK!" attack is possibly one of the funniest things I have seen in a while.)
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Postby UrsusArctos » Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:52 am

Gendo CYOA, eh? Bring it on! :smirk:

Since I'm feeling rather down, I thought I should get this out of my head for now.


The two Soryus faced off against the evil Captain Shikinami, but as they prepared to trade punches, Mari jumped on top of Eva-02 with her Eva-08 mecha.

"You louses aren't going anywhere!" she said, grinning from ear to ear.

But Mari had not counted on Eva-03 turning up, with Toji and his mother at the controls. "Hey, shark-face! Try some nunchakus, Bruce Lee-style!"

Toji and his mom swung out a pair of giant black nunchakus, swinging them around. Mari was not impressed, and neither was Captain Shikinami.

"Glasses, pretend you're a moody M. Night Shyamalan character swinging in at a rampaging alien with a baseball bat." Shikinami said. At that point, Eva-08 whipped out a baseball bat - and whacked it down on Evil Nigoki's head. Shikinami went "Ouch! Not me, you idiot! I'm talking about them!"

"Oh, too bad, boss. Try ta be a little more specific the next time." Mari said, swinging at Eva-03 with the bat while Toji and his mom expertly wielded nunchakus against her.

"Well, it's like Deadliest Warrior : Mafia versus Yakuza now, isn't it? I wonder if any of our readers watch that silly show." Mari said.

"Okay, mom, let her have it!" Toji said.

Mari yelled, "Red Sox!!!!!"

Meanwhile, Shikinami and Soryu faced each other off again. Shikinami said, "Since that bozo is off there fighting with your bozo, I think it's time I showed off a little. Mode 777: The Beast!"

At that, Evil Nigoki immediately started to turn into a giant panther-human hybrid, with enormous fangs, claws, and a long tail. Asuka and Kyoko didn't seem to bother with the whole transformation.
"So instead of fighting a giant human being, we're fighting a giant panther?" Asuka asked.

Kyoko said, "That's Hideaki Anno's idea of fanfiction."

Kensuke shouted, "Coming throooooouuughh!!!!"

Shinji and Pen-Pen jumped out of the way as Kensuke brought what looked like a turretless tank with a very long gun stuck in the front of the body. The huge gun raised itself towards Evil Nigoki, and Kensuke popped out of the hatch on the roof, wearing a Soviet Era tanker's helmet.

"Greetings from Soviet Russia!" Kensuke said, in a thick Russian accent.

"What's that you have pointed at me? A little derp-gun?" Shikinami asked.

"It is not derp-gun, it is the mighty trollcannon! This is the ISU-152 heavy assault gun, or the Zveroboi. If all tanks from Hitler's Germany are animals, Soviet Russia sends animal-killer to get rid of them! And if Panther is in front of Zveroboi, Zveroboi shoots. This is a BL-10 gun, 152 millimeter caliber, firing shells ranging from 43 to 56 kilograms in weight at a muzzle velocity of..." Kensuke said.

"Don't give me your tank nerdery!" Shikinami said, grinning and exposing her panther-teeth. Mari popped up on the comm screen. "Don't you play World of Tanks, cyclops? He ain't kiddin' about the gun!"

Shikinami laughed. "That silly old tin-can with an overlong gun? How can it hurt my mighty Mode 777 Panther-Nigoki?"

"Russian soldier also calls this, 'Nekrasivo, no spasibo' - 'not pretty, but tanks'." Kensuke said.

Shikinami laughed even more, and Panther-Nigoki's mouth opened to laugh as well. "Vielen Dank! How many more bad puns are you going to make?"

"In Germany, person says 'Vielen Dank', but in Soviet Russia..."

Shikinami fell down laughing. " 'In Soviet Russia'? Give it up, you moron!"

"...people say, 'feeling tank'!"

BOOOOOOM.

The BL-10 cannon fired straight down the Evil Nigoki's open mouth, the shell going straight into the Evil Eva's digestive tract. Shikinami gulped. "W...what did I just swallow?"

Kensuke laughed evilly.

At that moment, blue crosses and weird lights appeared in the entry plug, and a weird voice said, "I've got a new home! Wheeeee!!!"

"What is going on?" Shiki asked, appalled.

"That shell had a bit of the slime fungus angel. Enjoy your new roommate in the Eva, Captain Shikinami."

Shikinami yelled. "Get out of my Eva, you perverted little freak!" *Slap* *Slap* "Eeeek, he's sticking to my hands!"

"Why are you shouting at me?" Bardiel's fragment asked. "I just want to be your friend!"

"You most certainly are not...eugh, you're turning blue! Get off me, you pervert!"

"Waaaaah! Don't be so nasty!" Bardiel said.

The conversation was interrupted when the evil Panther-Nigoki was lifted up by its tail.

Kyoko said, "Let her have it, Asuka. Send her into orbit!"

Eva-02 began swinging around on the spot, hauling the Panther-Eva up by its tail and swinging it over its head in wide circles.

Asuka snarled, "No one ever tries burning my Baka-Shinji! ORE NO Shinji WAA....UCHHUUUUU ICHIIII .... SWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG!!!!"

Shinji blushed a radiant red as Eva-02 swung the Panther-Eva at supersonic speeds, launching it high into the air. It shot up into the atmosphere and vanished.

That left Eva-08, swining away with its baseball bat against the nunchaku-wielding Eva-03 and the now-free Eva-02.

Asuka advanced on Mari menacingly, her Eva holding out its progressive knife. "Since I've already demonstrated that I don't care about animal rights or PETA activists, I think I'm gonna turn you into shark-fin soup."

"Haters gonna hate, eh?" Mari asked. She promptly jetsonned a dozen smoke canisters from her Eva, creating a dense cloud of black smoke that obscured her rocket-propelled exit from the arena. When the smoke cleared, neither Evil Nigoki nor Eva-08 were to be seen anywhere. The school was secure.

*******

That night there wasn't too much space to go around. Shinji sat next to Rei. "It's cold." He said.

Rei walked up to him and spread her cape around him, wrapping both of them up. Shinji blushed.
"I like it this way." Rei said. "I'm warming up to you."

Shinji wrapped his hands around Rei. "I think I'm warming up to you too."

Asuka Soryu stomped up, aghast. "No way you don't! That's my baka-Shinji you're with!"

Rei snapped back, "Why? Are you riding his baloney pony?"

Asuka gnashed her teeth. "Aaaaaargh! You're going all Alternate Universe on me! And that awful ADV English Dub version too!"

Hikari said, "Hadn't there been fanart of Shinji and Rei together in winter clothes, with a scarf around their necks?"

Pen-Pen said, "That must have been posted way back in 2007 - oh, yeah, it was in the Caption Contest thread!"

"Is that thread even functional now?" Hikari asked.

"No way it isn't. Oh, and Ursus was the one who posted 'We're warming up to one another'."

"So the entire point of having Rei wear that silly cape and the costume was for this one-off joke based on a picture nobody remembers in 2013?" Hikari asked.

Pen-Pen said, "Looks like it!"

Asuka said, "Hey...is Ursus going to talk about the crap that BrikHaus posted around the same time. If he does..."

"Asuka!" Hikari whispered. "Don't give the author any bad ideas."

Pen-Pen said, "Hey, Ursus, if that's what you were up to, why don't you hang a lampshade on it or something?"

Shinji and Rei looked up. "Eh? Why is this lampshade hanging from the cieling?" Shinji asked.

"It's like mistletoe." Rei said. "It's so romantic." She wrapped her cape tighter around him and snuggled close to him, pressing her soft cheek to his.

"It's getting worse!" Pen-Pen said.

"At least he's not going to use baby oil and celery to do that with Rei..." Asuka said.

Rei and Shinji gasped and turned very red in the face.

"Hasn't worse stuff been done in fanfiction before?" Pen-Pen said. "And didn't Shinji actually marry Rei in one of those games...?"

"That's...that's living in sin!!!" Hikari said, aghast.

Asuka said, "That's Otaku lust for you!"

"Two wrongs don't make a right! They're...they can't do that!" Hikari said.

Shinji said, "Uhm...I think we are feeling very unusual right now..."

"STOP IT! We're all giving Ursus horrible ideas!" Hikari said.

"What's the worst idea you can give a guy whose name means 'Grizzly Bear'? Is he going to eat them next?" Pen-Pen asked.

Both Asuka and Hikari shouted, "ENOUGH!"

Pen-Pen clapped his wings to his mouth. The entire awful situation was defused when Hikari got a brainwave. "Hey, I know what to do! I'll put her in a regular school costume. That'll get rid of this ridiculous fanservice!" Hikari promptly opened a locker and pulled out a spare uniform.

Asuka said, "Good luck putting that thing on her."

Pen-Pen said. "Don't you worry. The tenacious demon leader of the Dai-Gurren Dan and man...erm, penguin of raging billows shall take care of it! The Divine Wing of the Penguin Star is reknown for its mystical solutions to simple problems!"

Pen-Pen grabbed the uniform and rushed towards Shinji and Rei. He moved around them in circles at high speed.

"AAAWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARK...!!!!!"

Clothes flew around Shinji and Rei in such a whirlwind that neither Asuka nor Hikari could see what was going on. But when Pen-Pen was finished, Rei's old silly costume had been discarded and she was wearing a school uniform like Hikari.

"The Five-Second-Wonderous-Costume-Change of the Penguin Star!" Pen-Pen announced. "TA-DA!"

"Umm...are you all right in it?" Shinji asked.

"It's warm and comfortable. Shinji, you know something...?" Rei asked.

Pen-Pen whispered, "Disaster."

Asuka hissed. "Urrrrssssuuuusssss!!!!!"

"...I think of you as a brother, the brother that I never had." Rei said.

Asuka blinked, and Pen-Pen said, "Ye Gods and Little Kittens!"

Shinji said, "Rei, uh, come to think of it, you're a sister to me. So we're brother and sister now."

Both of them hugged and kissed and embraced each other warmly.

"Brother and sister, huh...?" Asuka asked. "Baka-Shinji, mind if I warm up to both of you?"

Shinji said, "Why not?"

Asuka said, "Don't mind me, Rei. Did I tell you your brother was a fool?"

"But he's adorable. And warm." Rei said.

"So you can warm up to each other better." Pen-Pen wrapped a blanket around the three of them.

Hikari sniffed. "So, so cute...I feel so warm and fuzzy inside."

"So do I." said Misato, startling Hikari. Misato was holding a can of Yebichu beer and it was evident she had drunk a little too much of it.

"Pen-Pen, dear, I think you'll make a good roommate for me...you could do all the chores, sweetheart..."

She picked up Pen-Pen and leered at him in a manner that made Hikari gasp. Pen-Pen said, "No you don't! AAAWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARKWARK!!!"

While these delightful proceedings proceeded prior to everyone settling in for the night, Shiro Tokita kneeled before the Evil Ambassador and the Uberpimp, the great Lordgendo himself.

What terrible machinations are set to unfold deep within the Nerv pyramid? What sinister scheme does the great Lordgendo have in mind? What perils awaits our cast when they wake up? How many more silly jokes, obscure references, and breaches of the fourth wall are coming? Find out more when the next episode of Tengen Toppa Wark-Angelion!!!

Kensuke popped up. "And of course, there will be more fanservice - of my kind!!!"
Last edited by UrsusArctos on Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

Squigsquasher
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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:04 pm

"At least he's not going to use baby oil and celery to do that with Rei..." Asuka said.


I think I love you Ursus.

That was truly excellent. Russian Kensuke was particularly brilliant.
Here lies Squigsquasher.
2013-2017.

Sailor Star Dust
Kept you waiting, huh?
Kept you waiting, huh?
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Postby Sailor Star Dust » Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:54 pm

Poka poka :rei_blush: I remember that fanart, of course.

Adorable and funny, keep up the good work!
~Take care of yourself, I need you~

UrsusArctos
The Beginning and the End
The Beginning and the End
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Postby UrsusArctos » Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:43 am

*Takes a bow*
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

Agentomega
Lilin
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Postby Agentomega » Thu Oct 17, 2013 3:22 am

I died at World of Tanks. And then my soul laughed itself to shreds, travelled at the speed of light, and through highly improbable random selection of Buddhist reincarnation was completely reassembled and shoved back into my temporarily vacated husk just to write this post of adoration. It's that good.
Avatar: Rhoe Amariyo (© 2010-2014 SQUARE ENIX CO., LTD. All Rights Reserved. FINAL FANTASY X|V)
Karigane Shirou in LoL's RP - Rebuild of Evangelion: We Are (Not) Together
"'I was a nerd before it was cool' ~Agent" ~Lance of LoL


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