Evangelion and depression

[SpiredWarrior]

I apologize if there's another thread that this could go in, but the only two that I know of are dead. If there is, then redirect me and I'll put this there.

Anyway. For about seven years, I was severely depressed, and even attempted suicide several times over the course of it. Even with therapy, I began to feel like there was no hope, that I could never get out of it. And a couple of months ago, some friends of mine introduced me to Neon Genesis Evangelion. I was skeptical at first, as I initially thought Eva was a bland, archetypical grimdark anime. But I gave it a chance.
After the first few episodes, I could see already what the series had in store, with Shinji's unwillingness and fear of piloting Unit-01 and the fight with Sachiel taking a toll on the Eva. Then, I watched a bit more, knowing that the series is more than what I thought it was. Seeing Shinji's self worth issues arise reminded me of myself, as I had the same issues. Episode 7 soon came around, and introduced Asuka. I didn't think much of her at first either, because I saw her as a stereotypical tsundere, where I was also proven wrong. Watching Shinji and his interactions with the rest of the cast gave me a mirror with which to reflect my own actions. It was about this time that I started to love the series and feel a great attachment to these characters.
Fast forward to about episode 24, where things began to reach their climax. Seeing Asuka feel completely worthless after losing her ability to pilot her Eva showed me what I was, and what I could have been. Kaworu's introduction in that episode helped show me that you don't need to be good at something to be loved, as you can be loved for who you are. And then episodes 25 and 26 came around, which gave me even more insight onto exactly what self worth is, with the scene at 26's end showing me that self worth is what you make it out to be.
I had already gotten everything I wanted out of Eva, but I enjoyed the series so much that I chose to finish it by watching EoE. And there were a huge number of things there that helped reinforce the message I took from the series' ending, such as Misato's shunting Shinji out of his depression, Asuka reemerging from her own, and Rei's learning to make her own decisions. But most of all was the ending, which reminded me that one person can make a huge impact, no matter who they are or what they do with themselves, as Shinji managed to undo Instrumentality and potentially start a new beginning for the world.

After finishing the series, I have never felt better. I have been depression free for two months, and I have only this beautiful series to thank. I sincerely believe that Hideaki Anno deserves a Nobel Prize for creating a series capable of helping people out of depression in just 26 episodes and one 1.5 hour length film, as I know that other people have similar stories to myself. The gratitude I feel for this series simply cannot be put into words, and I can't think of anything that would help express my thankfulness. So, in the unlikely chance Anno is reading this: Thank you. Your creation has cured a depression I could never have come out of otherwise. I owe you my life.

[LeoXiao]

Evaneglion has a lot of scenes and moments in it that are unique and easy to identify with; for me, they sort of just stick in your head and aside from simply looking cool or w/e, can come to symbolize a whole feeling. Notice that many animes after NGE have come to copy it in rather specific, detailed ways.

[Swim to the moon]

The series was also very therapeudic for me. while i never delt with any clinical depression or anything serious like that i did deal with the normal struggle of who am i and what am i doing here like any teenager does. watching the charcters and how they developed kind of showed me just how normal it was to have an emotional struggle inside yourself and not know just what the hell you were put on this earth for. i think eva has a character that we can all relate to in some way, which is a very large part of what makes it so great. if not anything else it gave you a great example of how your personal decisions and feelings do have an impact on the others around you. whenever i am unsure or afraid of something theres this voice in my head now that screams "dont be a Shinji!". glad to know im not the only person that felt as if i grew from watching this series.

[Monk Ed]

Holy crap! SpiredWarrior, welcome to the board in a big way. It's always good to see someone come along who has an interpretation of the series and EoE so similar to my own. You wouldn't believe how so many on the board interpreted EoE negatively. But I suppose that's technically another topic.

I took away the same messages, from both the series and EoE, even though I didn't need them at the time. The time I needed them was many years later, in college, when I realized my loneliness and became terribly depressed. (As a result of writing an NGE fanfic, actually.) Recalling the messages of the series, I started reaching out to people, and the problem went away. I took that one little step and the key friend I made back then I know to this day -- and he's helping me realize my dream of being a game developer.

[FrDougal9000]

...That's actually one of the most heartwarming things I've ever heard.

From the bottom of my heart, in the most genuine way possible, I have simply one thing to say to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDajqW561KM

[Pandymint]

Now see, normally I would say congratulations and happy to see you found the series and so on but...


Well, I'm one of the people who finally convinced you to give it a shot. /D




BUT ON TOPIC: I have never dealt with legitmate depression, but I've had bad moods and such that Eva helps me get over. Plus it gave me Asuka, who is one of two characters I've ever really felt was relatable to myself.

[ObsessiveMathsFreak]

Wow. Certainly a new expierience from a first time viewer.

I'm interested in hearing further thoughts from you on the nature of the TV and Movie endings. Do you feel that they are giving the same message, depression-wise? Mostly, what do you feel the TV ending was all about?

[SpiredWarrior]

Evaneglion has a lot of scenes and moments in it that are unique and easy to identify with; for me, they sort of just stick in your head and aside from simply looking cool or w/e, can come to symbolize a whole feeling. Notice that many animes after NGE have come to copy it in rather specific, detailed ways.

Honestly, that's what I am enjoying about Evangelion. It manages to put a lot of psychological depth into things without becoming pretentious.

...That's actually one of the most heartwarming things I've ever heard.

From the bottom of my heart, in the most genuine way possible, I have simply one thing to say to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDajqW561KM

Yeah, that's what went through my head too when I started to see my friends congratulate me for getting through this depression. XD

Now see, normally I would say congratulations and happy to see you found the series and so on but...


Well, I'm one of the people who finally convinced you to give it a shot. /D

That you were. And I'm still really, really grateful for it.

The series was also very therapeudic for me. while i never delt with any clinical depression or anything serious like that i did deal with the normal struggle of who am i and what am i doing here like any teenager does. watching the charcters and how they developed kind of showed me just how normal it was to have an emotional struggle inside yourself and not know just what the hell you were put on this earth for. i think eva has a character that we can all relate to in some way, which is a very large part of what makes it so great. if not anything else it gave you a great example of how your personal decisions and feelings do have an impact on the others around you. whenever i am unsure or afraid of something theres this voice in my head now that screams "dont be a Shinji!". glad to know im not the only person that felt as if i grew from watching this series.

Holy crap! SpiredWarrior, welcome to the board in a big way. It's always good to see someone come along who has an interpretation of the series and EoE so similar to my own. You wouldn't believe how so many on the board interpreted EoE negatively. But I suppose that's technically another topic.

I took away the same messages, from both the series and EoE, even though I didn't need them at the time. The time I needed them was many years later, in college, when I realized my loneliness and became terribly depressed. (As a result of writing an NGE fanfic, actually.) Recalling the messages of the series, I started reaching out to people, and the problem went away. I took that one little step and the key friend I made back then I know to this day -- and he's helping me realize my dream of being a game developer.

Yeah, there's a thread I saw on evageeks which was honestly rather similar to mine, in hindsight, but I didn't want to bump a thread whose last post was 2 years ago. http://forum.evageeks.org/thread/5091/My-Kinda-Sorta-Eva-Magnum-Opus/?&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Wow. Certainly a new expierience from a first time viewer.

I'm interested in hearing further thoughts from you on the nature of the TV and Movie endings. Do you feel that they are giving the same message, depression-wise? Mostly, what do you feel the TV ending was all about?

I think so, actually. I feel that EoE and EoTV showed different sides of the same thing; EoTV being Shinji's introspective insight on his own life and emotions, and EoE showing the people around him reacting to their own emotional problems, as well as Shinji reaching an event horizon in his depression. Which leads me to the way EoTV, well, ended. It depicted Shinji, with the help of his friends and acquaintances via Instrumentality, breaking out of his depression and managing to undo that event by realizing that he is an individual with his own merits and purposes, something that Instrumentality threatened. "The cornered rat will attack the cat", I suppose. (dunno if that's even the right proverb, but oh well)

[Zao760]

22 M, I just finished 1-26, LD, EoE, Rebuild 1-3 in the last couple of days. My father passed away when I was 4. Since then I've been an empty husk looking for any nourishment I could take in to make me feel real, happy, alive, worthy, etc. Needless to say its been null. After watching this series in its entirety I find myself "complete" I really believe that this show has changed me. Although I do feel happy in some senses, I am still completely depressed. Not because of the past 22 years of my life, but because Eva is done. I really can't explain this feeling, its ridiculous. I'm so fucking attached to this show and it hurts so bad to not have more insight. I've read countless forums and it seems the only thing I have to look forward to is part 4, but after that what? I guess this is just a pointless rant but fuck... This fucking anime is the end all be all. I think ill get a big Evangelion themed tattoo sleeve now. Meaningless jabber but thanks for reading.

[TruthfulLie]

I personally have love-hate relationship with NGE, so it's always surprising and interesting for me to hear such positive remarks on how it has enhanced the lives of the viewer. I am glad that it helped you get out of your depression. You say you've been depression-free for about two months now. It's quite some time, but it's also not very long considering near decade of depression. I hope that you continue to be that way from now on.