Right. Enough dicking about. To business!
You think for a second. You could just take the Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan, but that would be too sensible. Taking the bus would be both boring and dangerous, and walking back isn't an option.
Then something occurs to you...
"Friends, harem, follow me, I require your assistance..." you call to your companions.
You get up and go to walk out the door, with your comrades following you.
"Wait!" says the bouncer "I have a delivery for you!"
He passes you a small cardboard box. Inside, cushioned with polystyrene packing foam, is a pair of orange, angular glasses. Attached is a note.
I figured you need these more than me. Enjoy them!
Oh, and look after Yoko for me.
Finally, remember, Shinji: Believe not in you that believes in me, believe not in me who believes in you, believe in you, who believes in yourself!
You grin. You pick up the glasses and put them on.
"Suits you!" says Kensuke.
You nod, and slip the note into your pocket.
You and your friends all board the Dai-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan. Once everyone is aboard, the gangplank retracts.
With a whoosh of steam, a plinth rises. Upon the plinth are several Core Drills, each with a name inscribed upon it.
"Everybody, take one" you tell your comrades "And get ready for the trip of a lifetime..."
Your friends all pick up the Core Drill with their name on it, and an epic background track begins playing for some reason.
"We are the Dai-Shinji Brigade!" declares Sailor Moon.
"When someone gets in our way, we punch them in the face!" shouts Touji.
"When something blocks our path, we cut through it!" yells Kensuke.
"When something knocks us over, we get back up!" sings Miku.
"When people tell us we can't do something, we do it anyway!" Haruhi states triumphantly.
"When someone knocks down our walls, we rebuild them!" cheers Misty.
"We are the Dai-Shinji Brigade!" bellows Black Rock Shooter.
"We are unstoppable!" cries Chi.
"We kick good taste to the curb and go beyond the unsavoury!" thunders Excel.
"I...umm...Squigsquasher forgot to write me in to most of the scenes..." mumbles Kyoko Sakura "But anyway, we're awesome!"
"OUR KNIFE IS THE KNIFE THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!" you declare.
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE!?!?!?!?" you all simultaneously roar, and thrust your Core Drills into the sockets on the plinth.
The entire boat-mecha-thing is surrounded in an aura of fire, and jets into the stratosphere. Then, in a burst of pure awesome, it grows into the galaxy-sized Dai-Ōkina-Bakabakashī-Kyodai-Otokorashī-Serori-Ginga-Tanken-Fujōri-Oroka-Nagattarashī-Chōshinsei-Murasaki-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan (translate that, I dare you!).
You then proceed to punch a hole in reality itself, and drop off every member of your harem in their respective universes; BRS in the distorted, checkered Otherworld, Kyoko in some bit of Tokyo, Chi in Hideki's house, Haruhi in the SOS Brigade clubhouse, Miku on her PC, Excel in ACROSS headquarters, and so on.
Finally, after delivering Touji and Kensuke back home, it is time to go back to your apartment.
"GIGA..." You begin, holding the Dai-Ōkina-Bakabakashī-Kyodai-Otokorashī-Serori-Ginga-Tanken-Fujōri-Oroka-Nagattarashī-Chōshinsei-Murasaki-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan's fist in the air.
"KNIFE..." you continue, manifesting an enormous flaming Progressive Knife
"BREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!" you thunder.
With an explosion of pure GAR, the Dai-Ōkina-Bakabakashī-Kyodai-Otokorashī-Serori-Ginga-Tanken-Fujōri-Oroka-Nagattarashī-Chōshinsei-Murasaki-Kaizoku-Sen-Gan is hurled through the fabric of time and space, compresses back into Pirate Ship form, lands perfectly in its garage, and you are teleported right into the lounge of your apartment.
You materialize, and immediately find your head buried in something soft.
What do you do?
1: Leap out of it and apologize,
2: Fall asleep in it,
3: Try and cuddle it,
Or 4: Try and work out where you are before you do anything?
Here lies Squigsquasher.