The next phase is usually the impulse to read or write fanfic.
Moderator: Board Staff
CJD wrote:So first, let me preface this by saying I have 3 experiences watching Eva. The first was two years ago and while I did feel these things it was to a lesser extent. The second was last year and was the most severe and consequently what I'll describe. The third was just last month when I watched the latter half of Eva (and the Rebuild movies) in a community stream hosted by some random /a/non, and while I did feel lethargic and down towards the end of the main series and EoE, the combination of a "community" and the Rebuild movies immediately after, I believe, prevented me from feeling anywhere near the levels I felt after the second. Also, all three were marathons, which is likely related.
I've talked about it before but when I finish Eva I get really... drained I guess. (Depression might be an accurate word for it but I don't like throwing "Depression" around lightly.) I just want to go lay down and sleep, to not think about it. After watching Eva nothing else seems important or enjoyable, and I end up feeling like trying to enjoy something, like playing video games for example, is a betrayal (Either to myself or to Eva, I'm not exactly sure, I just feel bad about it.)
This extreme lethargy persisted for a day or two where I spent the large majority of my time laying in bed. After that a sense of depression persisted for a few weeks to a month, I don't recall exactly how much time just that it was a major down period for me. Eva also managed to instill in me, for some reason, a dislike of television and movies. Before this Eva watching session I almost always had the television on when I was at my computer. Even if I wasn't watching it or had it muted I enjoyed very much the presence of it. I also had shows that I watched when they aired. After watching Eva this time it changed. I watched it late May/early June (it's what prompted me to join Evageeks), and I don't think I actually turned my television on till last fall, and it wasn't until this spring that I actually started watching shows again (besides Anime, that persisted throughout). I still don't turn my TV on unless I'm looking for something, or really, really bored, and I still haven't resumed watching most of the shows I used to watch.
Part of what got me out of my slump, my depression, was joining Evageeks. I've half joked about it but the ability to discuss Eva, something I couldn't do with anyone I knew, helped me dispense a lot of inner questions and turmoil. It also allows me to keep Eva present in my life, which is the reason I tend to be on here every day (even if I don't post), it lets me feel like Eva isn't actually over. The ability to keep Eva around, but not dominating my thoughts or making me sad, helps me a lot.
End Disclaimer: Now, I mentioned the fact that I marathoned it, which could be related. (Memories foggy so if someone knows who I'm talking about and I get something wrong feel free to correct me. Sorry!) There was a thread a while back where someone mentioned that they recently marathoned Eva for the first time, they had previously watched it in pieces, and they too felt drained. If I recall correctly it seemed the general consensus was most people hadn't marathoned it before, and while they did have similar problems after watching it normally, it wasn't anywhere near the levels that the person in question or myself had felt. Based on that I'd say it's a safe assumption marathoning Eva directly correlates to much stronger negative feelings after finishing it, and could very well be the reason my experience might differ from so many others.
By the time I seemed to make the decision to watch it it was already over. I don’t have anything to say. It was one of the more disturbing things I have ever seen. Even having been spoiled on parts of it --- especially some imagery, thanks to my love of Komm, Suesser Tod --- I was dumbfounded throughout the film. I visually repulsed at several times. I could not believe my eyes or other senses at others. I am horrified, spiritually broken, and otherwise dismayed and demoralized. I do not know what else to say.
Ever since I could remember, I didn't fit in. That's why I was always alone. And just when I thought I could get past all of it --- here I am, again. It felt natural to be alone. But now... it just feels lonely. This is me.
quidam wrote:Yes and no. It is hard to explain.
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests