TOTALLY AWESOME DINOSAUR PEOPLE [split]

[AuraTwilight]

Apparently, Lilith "chose the form" for us, but since NGE seems to support evolution from primordial ooze, I guess we could interpret that to mean that she chooses which filthy animals to [s]bless[/s] condemn with the gift of the human soul. And since humans are vain creatures, this means whichever species looks most like the one she came from.

I keep having these weird notions in my head of Lilith somehow nudging evolution a certain way, and, whenever things don't seem to be going quite as planned, she lets a mass-extinction happen.

"Well, dinosaurs, I've given you plenty of time to get your spines vertical and your crania round, but looks like it isn't gonna happen. Time to break up your monopoly and let the milk-suckers have a chance."

Yea, I can totally see that. Or maybe a meteor really did fuck up everything.

Lilith: "Well, sorry, but in my original plan, dinosaurs were going to become badass space-warriors with absolutely no existential angst, have no inner conflict or war, and only fight for fun and sport. They were the path to spiritual contentment and enlightenment."

SEELE: "Then the path is clear. We must use Third Impact to return humanity to it's original form, and become one with our divine birthright. We must become TOTALLY AWESOME DINOSAUR PEOPLE."

Shinji: "Wicked!"

KOM SUSSER TODD HEAVY METAL THRASH REMIX YEAAAAAA

[NemZ]

DinoShinji would still have stegosaurus' dilemma

[child of Lilith]

A dinosaur version of EVA would be awesome.

[Kodaemon]

I just imagined naked Rei riding a dinosaur.

Too much Dresden Codak.

[MugwumpHasNoLiver]

Lilith: "Well, sorry, but in my original plan, dinosaurs were going to become badass space-warriors with absolutely no existential angst, have no inner conflict or war, and only fight for fun and sport. They were the path to spiritual contentment and enlightenment."

SEELE: "Then the path is clear. We must use Third Impact to return humanity to it's original form, and become one with our divine birthright. We must become TOTALLY AWESOME DINOSAUR PEOPLE."

Shinji: "Wicked!"

KOM SUSSER TODD HEAVY METAL THRASH REMIX YEAAAAAA

I want to have your babies.

[Reichu]

DinoShinji would still have stegosaurus' dilemma

To be picky, in some ridiculous alternate Evangelion universe where the Lilin are dinosaur descendants, they probably would have arisen from the maniraptors, which includes all them birds and near-birds.

So, sometime after 65mya, a bunch of semi-arboreal maniraptors do the unthinkable and start developing these hideous vertically-oriented spines, and start losing all of their integument except head plumage and a little downy fuzz, and get these big rounded crania. All of the other animals start kicking the Hominiraptor's collective ass, because they walk funny, but then Lilith claps her hands, and all of a sudden the hatchlings are being born with the souls of long-dead aliens -- who know how to burn shit dead.

Since maniraptors feed their young by vomiting into their throats instead of breast-feeding, does this mean that dino-Shinji would be obsessed with crops (as in stomach-crops) instead? Would he be quite so eager to throttle Asuka's neck this time around, considering the neck's status in this universe as the glorious appendage through which life's milk propels from parent to child?

[Edited to avoid further misunderstandings.]

[AshPhoenix]

Would he be throttling the glorious appendage from which life's milk had propelled forth (=neck)?

I didn't see the "(=neck)" part there at first. I was a little worried about Shinji's horniness for a second there.

[NemZ]

Nah... I vote for dinomaidens with fun bags. If Howard the Duck can give us ducktits, anything is possible.

[Reichu]

I vote for dinomaidens with fun bags.

:puts dunce cap on NemZ and sends him to the corner for advocating Non-Mammalian Mammaries:

[child of Lilith]

I'm sure he knows it's impossible, but a man can dream, can't he?

[NemZ]

Then how will we know which one is Misato?

[child of Lilith]

She'll be the one with the purple feathers.

[AuraTwilight]

Pen-Pen will of course be the one and only primeape. It'll be trippy as hell.

[Kodaemon]

The one and only what?

[AshPhoenix]

Yeah, primeape? Like the Pokemon?

[esselfortium]

Yeah, primeape? Like the Pokemon?

Not just like the Pokemon, but the actual Pokemon.

[Sik]

Not just like the Pokemon, but the actual Pokemon.

Not just like the actual Pokemon, but the PET of a Pokemon.

[rhfxz1s]

If the lilim were actually dinosaurs, they would probably have a huge problem since they would never be able to build the Evas. Aside form the obvious lack of thumbs and whatnot, what if dinosaur Shinji was too big to fit inside Unit 01? Also, dinosaur Shinji fapping to comatose Asuka would probably end up going horribly, horribly wrong.

[BornIn1142]

Aside form the obvious lack of thumbs and whatnot, what if dinosaur Shinji was too big to fit inside Unit 01?

Obviously, the Evas would just be proportionally bigger.

[AshPhoenix]

Also, dinosaur Shinji fapping to comatose Asuka would probably end up going horribly, horribly wrong.

If he even could. It depends on whether he was a long-armed dinosaur or a short-armed dinosaur.