What's the Worst Movie You've Ever Seen?

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Postby Guy Nacks » Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:26 pm

View Original PostGorbatschow wrote:

*Elysium (I guess I don't have to say anything here)


What is the deal with all of the hate towards this movie? I saw it in the theaters with a friend of mine and we both thought it was great, though not on the level of District 9.

*Every sequel to disney movies excluding Pixar


FTFY.


I have another one to add to this list: R.I.P.D.

Holy shit, what a cock of a movie. It's trying so hard to be the next Men in Black, it's not even funny. I only went to see this because nothing else was playing and I was going with a bunch of friends, all of us walked out of that movie stupefied that The Dude could have been in a movie that utterly sterile of laughter or good entertainment.
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Postby delispin25 » Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:38 pm

Jesus, I don't even know where to begin. I've seen so much shit, unbelievable amounts of shit. I've probably wasted more of my time deliberately watching shitty movies than spending time with my family, studying, with my friends, ect. There's this one movie that's so shitty, it surpasses The Room, Troll 2, Birdemic, and all those other pieces of shit. Baby Geniuses 2. It's so bad it'll make your head spin. I remember watching it at day-care, I was 10 and even then I knew that it was and forever will be the worst movie I've ever seen. The saddest thing is, other kids were laughing at that movie, they actually enjoyed it, and that scares the fuck out of me.

Oh, and there's a 3rd one coming down the shitter, so look forward to that.

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Postby Squigsquasher » Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:11 am

Has anyone mentioned 2012?

(BTW, there will be unmarked spoilers, but this movie sucks so much that you shouldn't care about it)

First of all, this movie suffers from the ever-present problem of the "future" it is set in now being in the past (NGE suffered from this too, but it at least was a great work in and of itself). Now this is bad enough, but combined with the ludicrous amount of hype over the 2012 apocalypse (which I slept through as I was having a tooth removed) coupled with the utter mockery it got afterwards, it makes the premise suffer awfully.

However, surely this is an unfair thing to criticize a movie for, right? Time marches on, and this can make any good movie seem a little narmy. After all, Akira predicted a third world war in 1988 and that's still a good movie.

Yeah. Unfortunately, 2012 is the exact opposite of a good movie.

So, first of all I'd like to bring to attention the skull-breakingly anvilicious AMERICA HURR that this movie exhibits. Our main heroes are a perfect little suburban family of god-fearing white middle class 'murricans. Pretty much everyone else dies. Out of all the main important characters, I think 1 non-American survives, and even so he ends up with a mangled leg. Even 'Murricans aren't safe from Roland's bloodthirst- Gordon, the MC's ex-wife's new husband, ends up squished between some colossal gears, which is a shame as he was one of the few bearable characters. To tally up just a small fraction of Emmerich's xenocidal crusade;

>A whole indian refugee convoy numbering in the thousands, including the geologist from the start of the film, his wife and his son (also some of the only bearable characters) are deaded by a tsunami.
>A Tibetan Bhuddist monk is killed when his temple is destroyed by an enormous wave.
>Thousands of nameless Chinese workers fall to their deaths at the climax of the film.
>2 black guys die when their ship sinks (along with a bunch of nameless people).
>A white guy and his Japanese wife and daughter (who get less than a minute of screen time) have their house demolished by a freak wave.
>A HUGE congregation outside the Vatican are killed by an earthquake.
>3 of the 5 Russian characters die in various ways.
>The black President is killed by a MOTHERFUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER. (Haha, I see what you did there Roland, you utter shite).

Plenty of white Americans die as well of course, but mostly nameless characters or characters clearly meant to be unsympathetic, such as the crazy awesome radio guy. Roland seems to take particular pleasure in destroying San Francisco and California, probably because DEM LIBERALS.

Oh, did I mention a Cessena nearly gets hit by a train? In mid air?

Yeah. This movie fucking sucks.
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Postby Dataprime » Wed Jan 08, 2014 9:44 am

View Original Postnervshatter wrote:Robocop 3 -

This is the first Robocop movie I every saw. So it it's very near & dear to my heart
but that being said it really is a pretty bad movie (by re-watching it again)
also the worst Robocop film of the trilogy

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Postby Gorbatschow » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:29 am

I can proudly add "Gonger - Das Böse schläft nie"

Maybe some german members might know it, but you lucky if you don't. It's inconsistent in every theatrical and narrative aspects and just ... Bullshit.
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Postby Yaywalter » Wed Jan 08, 2014 2:45 pm

I'd say Silent Hill Revelation 3D was probably the worst movie I'd ever seen.

I mean there's bad movies, then there are even worse movies that are so bad that they're actually amusing to watch due to how bad they are... "so bad it's good", if you will. This film, however, is in a completely different league... so bad it's back to just plain bad again.

And that's even after I take into account my bias as a fan of the original Silent Hill games. This isn't a case of Silent Hill Dowpour where it's passable but just not up to the standards of what Silent Hill should be, it's more of a case of Silent Hill Homecoming where it'd still be shit even if it didn't bear the Silent Hill name and all the expectations that come along with it.
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Postby Chainsaw Owl » Wed Jan 08, 2014 2:49 pm

Marley and Me... I gave Owen Wilson a chance. I won't be doing that again. It's not often that a movie makes you a worse person for having seen it.
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Postby Chuckman » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:00 pm

I've never seen 2012. I have to go back and watch it now. It sounds awesome.
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Postby Dataprime » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:24 pm

Please Don't.

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Postby Gorbatschow » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:38 pm

View Original PostChuckman wrote:I've never seen 2012. I have to go back and watch it now. It sounds awesome.


Self-harm is no solution, man. :D
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Postby Joy Evangelion » Wed Jan 08, 2014 4:24 pm

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:Has anyone mentioned 2012?


All that 2012 crap was suppppperrrr lame, but that movie had John Cusack which immediately takes it out of the running for worst all time. I also appreciated the sheer brutality of it, since the only thing I can really remember about it is that most of the characters die. I also seem to recall some old people that died at the end...they maybe had a dog or something.

Also, it made a "boat-load"(pun intended) of money, so it had to be good, right? :tongue:

I can't pick a worst movie, but my least favorite movie of all time was Superbad. It came out when I was seventeen and a senior in high school and all my bros were talking about how funny it was, then it turned out to be cliche and not funny. I get it, McLovin is a nerd, and the teenagers want to drink and have sex. Terrbly stupid and lame film title too. Then when it came out on dvd all my bros made me rewatch it, and it remained not funny.
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Postby Gendo'sPapa » Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:39 pm

I don't know if it's the worst film I've ever seen but I would comfortably say A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD is in the top 20 for worst things ever passed off as a movie.

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Postby Guy Nacks » Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:42 pm

View Original PostGendo'sPapa wrote:I don't know if it's the worst film I've ever seen but I would comfortably say A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD is in the top 20 for worst things ever passed off as a movie.



I'll refuse to watch that 'till the day I die......hard.
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Postby soul.assassin » Thu Jan 09, 2014 3:15 am

View Original PostYaywalter wrote:I'd say Silent Hill Revelation 3D was probably the worst movie I'd ever seen.


Haven't played the game, but saw the latter half of that shite... it ended up a reason why Uwe Boll was considered a terrible blight of cinema.

---
All right:

Watched 2012 and came away more pessimistic, like it wants everyone to fear the future more. Also, as if Emmerich tries to outdo Cameron in more than one way.

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD -- NOT A DIE HARD MOVIE in the truest sense of the word (4.0 was superior, in that it was inspired by a plausible scenario of electronic warfare and FUD); I thought Lucy was the only child until it turned out John also had a... what? A SON?

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Postby Dr. Nick » Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:24 am

View Original PostSquigsquasher wrote:Roland seems to take particular pleasure in destroying San Francisco and California, probably because DEM LIBERALS.


Not that I give a shit about 2012, but Emmerich supposedly is a liberal.

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Postby Trajan » Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:14 am

I watch MST3K, I know my bad movies. None of the movies mentioned here approach the level of pain inherent in some of the "films" I've seen.
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Postby Squigsquasher » Fri Jan 10, 2014 11:47 am

OK, I forgot to mention another film I loathe: The Poseidon Adventure.

This film people. Over an hour of non-stop "It's a cinch!" "I can't do it!" "WAAAAAH!" "LINDA!"...Ugh. Horrible movie. Just horrible.

And some dumbfucks think it's the best disaster movie ever. These people are called idiots. Don't be fooled- the story sucks, it's nothing like the book it was based on, the acting is both wooden AND hammy AT THE SAME TIME, the characters are annoying as fuck (ESPECIALLY the kid)...oh, I hate this film.
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Postby Shinoyami65 » Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:34 pm

View Original Postsoul.assassin wrote:Haven't played the game, but saw the latter half of that shite... it ended up a reason why Uwe Boll was considered a terrible blight of cinema.


The game was awesome. The film practically changed everything in the game for some bizarre purpose that probably only made sense in the director's head. Game!Vincent was a creepy guy who would occasionally appear in front of you, drop a few cryptic hints and then leave. Film!Vincent is Heather's boyfriend for no particular reason and (surprise!) Claudia is his mother out of sheer randomness. Game!Claudia was a complex character who both simultaneously cared for Alessa/Heather but also believed her sacrifice was necessary to reach Paradise. Film!Claudia seems to be batshit crazy and can turn into a dominatrix monster, again for no particular reason. Not to mention poor Pyramid Head, who seems to be dragged back into each successive piece of Silent Hill media to the point that he's practically a running joke now. It frankly surprises me that the franchise has enough money and hype associated with it to actually try to make another film after how the last one turned out, they've been screwed over even more than the Alien franchise.

Speaking of Alien, I decided to re-watch Alien Resurrection (against my better judgement). Aside from deciding to cast a 50-something Sigourney Weaver to play a 20-something clone of Ripley, there's the wooden stock characters (the macho general in particular laughable, even when he's supposed to be serious); the bizarre moments of comedy and/or sex appeal, as if the characters were teenagers exploring a haunted house in one of the 1970 horror movies the original Alien deconstructed instead of hardened space travelers fighting deadly creatures; then there's the big reveal at the end when it turns out the Alien Queen is pregnant and gives birth to a human-alien hybrid. Even this is squeezed dry of any potential dread it might have; frankly the thing looks soggy and flabby compared to the other Aliens and there's a weird moment when it seems to be playing the "not evil, just misunderstood" card. Finally, it meets its badly-rendered death as it gets comedically sucked through a very small hole. And they all end up in a ruined Paris somehow.
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Postby Dataprime » Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:32 pm

Also that Waterworld movie with Kevin Costner is total crap.
talk about a bad movie. I even hated it as a kid.

I genuinely love how good Evangelion hurts
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She's so cute. Like crazy cute. Like "She's giving me the diabetus" cute. - Gendo'sPapa

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Postby Chuckman » Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:25 pm

The first silent hill film was really good, and would have been great if it was exactly the same but the fade-to-white exposition dump were cut out.
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