The headcanon thread

This is a forum for casual discussion of Evangelion. Topics like "Asuka is hot!" or "Which Eva kicks the most ass?" belong here.

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The headcanon thread

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Postby Galaxy News Reidio » Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:29 pm

This is a thread for all the little things that are part of your personal Eva canon. For example: Shinji, Toji and Kensuke are nicknamed "The Three Stooges", after a comedy act. In my headcanon, before Shinji showed up Toji and Kensuke were nicknamed "The Odd Couple".

So, what little details have you added to your personal canon?
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Postby The Eva Monkey » Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:17 pm

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Postby Seele00TextOnly » Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:23 pm

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Oh, and this too:
SPOILER: Show
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Last edited by Seele00TextOnly on Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby esselfortium » Sat Dec 04, 2010 6:23 pm

Orchestrating the Silence is part of my personal canon.


Your personal canon has Asuka's face swollen up like a balloon? :-\

..or, wait. Is that poison ivy? I'm lost.

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Postby Jayfive » Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:33 pm

The Konataproduction NGE Abridged series.

Say it with me: 'OH GOD WHY?!?!'

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Postby C.A.P. » Sat Dec 04, 2010 7:58 pm

View Original PostJayfive wrote:The Konataproduction NGE Abridged series.

Say it with me: 'OH GOD WHY?!?!'


No more for me thanks. I'm driving.
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Postby skikes » Sat Dec 04, 2010 8:10 pm

My NGE canon you say? MILF PILOT!

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Postby Reichu » Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:45 am

Time to punish OP for making this thread.


THINGS I LIKE TO PRETEND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE SHOW AND MAY OR MAY NOT TRY TO SERIOUSLY ADVOCATE

- Yui, Gendo, and Fuyutsuki are the heroes
- Evas and Seeds are wimminz
- Kaworu is actually a hideous hybrid monstrosity that only superficially looks like a Lilin. (Oh, and he's actually a girl. :3 )
- Dr. Katsuragi is Kaworu's daddy.
- Eva-01 evolves into a Seed of Life in EoE and takes off to find another planet where she can make this mess happen all over again. (By "this mess", I mean humanity, SILLY.)
-- She took Adam, the Angels, Gendo, and Fuyu with her. Maybe others, but they don't matter.
- Angels are essentially children who want their mommy back
- Armisael was trying to resurrect the souls of the dead Angels into new bodies
- Kaworu communed with the dead Angels at the lake and took them into Terminal Dogma withhim her
- The FAR looked like miniature versions of Adam/the Evas
- The Seeds were bioengineered from FAR females. Normally oviparous (egg-laying), after their mortal antecedents. However, opting for the Primordial Soup scenario causes a Seed's body to become a blobby, grotesque LCL Gate.
- Spears have the ability to fertilize Seeds.

THINGS THAT ABSOLUTELY DON'T HAPPEN BUT I GET OFF ON WISHING THEY DID

- DUEL OF THE SEEDS
- Eva make bebby
- Eva/Eva, Eva/Angel, and Angel/Angel smex. LOTS OF IT. ...... Wait. Did I just type that aloud?
- Dr. Katsuragi and Kyoko come back to life after 3I and hook up
- Kaworu tells the Lilin to fuck themselves, merges with Eva-02 to resurrect Adam, defeats Lilith in brutal combat, and takes over the world. FUCK YEAH!
- Eva-01 doesn't grow hair


Maybe I'll add more later. Y'know, the less "WTF, Reichu" stuff.

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Postby Bagheera » Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:52 am

View Original PostReichu wrote:- Dr. Katsuragi and Kyoko come back to life after 3I and hook up


Kyoko's a possibility at least.

Past that, I'm still writing my own personal canon for the series. It is sloooooow going.

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Postby MugwumpHasNoLiver » Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:59 am

*Toji is a deeply repressed homosexual who wants to make Shinji his bitch.

*Kensuke sneaks into armored installations and humps gun turrets and tanks whenever he gets the chance.

*Ritsuko has a test tube fetish.

*Ever since College, Kaji would rent a hooker every weekend and always make them wear a Misato mask.

*There aren't any photos of Yui left because Fuyutski used them all up.

*Hikari has a food fetish.

*Aoba plays bass in a Metallica tribute band.

*Maya has a strap-on named "Sempai"

*After Kaji was shot, Misato had violent grief sex with Hyuga, who was at the time, sitting at home alone, like he always does.

*The boring teacher day dreams about molesting Asuka.

*Rei tries to stimulate the feeling of menstruation by crushing tomatoes between her legs.

*Gendo grows the tomatoes. He likes to garden, like Kaji. When Rei smashed them, he gave her a spanking.

*Shinji subconsciously does want to be Toji's bitch, because he knows, deep down, that he would be a good bondage bottom.
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Postby SaltyJoe » Sun Dec 05, 2010 3:26 am

View Original PostMugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:*Toji is a deeply repressed homosexual who wants to make Shinji his bitch.

(...)

*Shinji subconsciously does want to be Toji's bitch, because he knows, deep down, that he would be a good bondage bottom.

Wait, i thought that's actual canon.
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Postby Galaxy News Reidio » Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:11 am

The clash between Shinji's repressed, prudish personality and his hidden desire to take it rough is yet another source of angst and confusion for the poor lad.
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Postby InstrumentalityOne » Sun Dec 05, 2010 4:14 am

Asuka hates the Führer.

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Postby Arcadia's legacy » Mon Sep 28, 2015 1:03 pm

Ghosts of Evangelion :D
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Postby amitakartok » Mon Sep 28, 2015 1:40 pm

Shinji and Mana consummated their relationship on their last night together. Because we all know that he desperately needs to get laid by someone who actually loves him.

They also reunited some years after 3I and lived the rest of their lives together. Because having a closure is never a bad thing, especially if it's a happy one.
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Postby Squigsquasher » Mon Sep 28, 2015 2:11 pm

The Horaki family has a pet armadillo called Peggy. Peggy has a crush on the completely oblivious Pen Pen.

End of Evangelion was originally going to end with Touji and Kensuke forming a rap duo and busting a rhyme so slick it erased the events of the entire movie, replacing it with EoTV. Sadly this was cut from the final film due to Anno's fellow dank meme artists deciding that that shit was too rad for modern audiences.
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Postby SawItAtAge10 » Mon Sep 28, 2015 2:59 pm

In my headcanon:

Shinji is bisexual

The capsule Kaji gave Misato also doubled as a morning after pill

Rei III/phantom Rei, etc. went back into the sea of LCL to observe the others just as she had completed her observation of Shinji through his memories (starting with ANGEL ATTACK!). She repeats this process billions of times until every human soul in the sea of LCL has been rehabilitated.

Kaworu's "gayness" comes from his ability to effectively engage in the Uncanny Valley to such a degree that he surpasses creepiness, whereas Rei does not. However, his encapsulation of the "effeminate male" is so overly done that he fails the Turing test for being too perfect as does Rei (for simply being such a blank slate most of the time)

Pen-Pen might've had his own LCL experience....memories, feelings, etc.

SEELE is a Christian cult

Yui is an EVIL bitch who bats her eyes and holds up her baby to get the things she wants until she fuses with the mechanical form of the Eva in order to implement only the things she sees fit and is dismissive to all else

Dr. K used his DNA to birth Kaworu and start 2nd Impact

Adam and Lilith are asexual (the names are merely placeholders just like the Evas and Angels) and reproduce akin to trees or cell division

The nomenclature of the Evangelions and Angels can be summed up as:

Giant Robot 00
Giant Robot 1
Giant Robot 2
Giant Robot 3

Ultimate Alien Creatures
Super Alien Creature 01
Super Alien Creature 02
Alien Creatures (angel 3-16)

Human-Alien Hybrids: Rei, Kaworu, and Giant Robot 01

Neon Genesis Evangelion is about Alchemy and psycho-dramatic rituals
FROM EVANGELION:
"Acts of Man are greater than acts of God!"

"I'm saying that I love you."

NOT FROM EVANGELION:
"You are excrement. You can change yourself into gold."

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Postby Iuvenal » Mon Sep 28, 2015 3:12 pm

View Original PostMugwumpHasNoLiver wrote:*Aoba plays bass in a Metallica tribute band.


Aoba is actually the bastard son of Cliff Burton by a Japanese groupie that was at the Stockholm concert during the Ride the Lightning tour. Burton's tryst with the groupie caused him to oversleep and miss the bus to their next tour date, and as a result Burton is still alive in the Eva continuity and Metallica remained a metal band through the 90s. Neither father nor son are aware of their relation, though Shigeru does harbor a congenital dislike of Lars Ulrich.
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Postby Mr. Tines » Mon Sep 28, 2015 4:17 pm

This thread is a mix of the outright silly, and the actually correct. The outright silly ones are obvious as such.
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Postby Justacrazyguy » Mon Sep 28, 2015 4:19 pm

I'm a humble man, so in my head canon the only thing that happens is Rei and Kaworu coming back to earth after EoE and Rei getting in a relationship with Shinji and having kids and living happily ever after. Kaworu could also get laid with Shinji an Rei from time to time, just to add some spice to the relationship.

Oh, and Misato's father could come back as well and confuse the hell out of Misato, leading to incest, because why the hell not.
Seriously though, the ideia of Misato and her father meeting again could be really interesting and I'd watch a show based on that.
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