ErgoProxy wrote:That's an illusion.
You're underprivilleged and the kind of privillege you're requesting comes with theft, hunger, hunting people and keeping mouth shut about all of that. And since many can't stand this kind of pressure for too long, they use art to boast about their trophies, because art is ambigous and wrapped with the robe of genius creator.
I don't believe denial is utter evil, you know. What I believe is, to change your reality you need to enter the state of mild denial, because most of people around are content about status quo and so they will do anything to keep any instigator under control, eg. by making him believe he has no power to change anything. And this idea has to be denied.
You can try and share your work, not necessarily at public channel; forum's private messages were devised for a reason. If someone here cares for helping a fellow human, or simply is curious, she or he will notify you.
The question is, do you want to walk this road.
I know the feeling of being targeted is an illusion. But still, it really makes me upset that hundreds of other unedited clips of EoE (Including Asuka’s battle and The Third Impact) still reside freely on YouTube in public domain while my own AMV got blocked. I feel it is very unfair and needless. I wanted to create this artwork not to boast about my trophies, but to make myself feel better and share it, to show that music can change the mood of a scene.
The state of denial I was in the aftermath was refusing to believe that such a fate ever happened to Shinji; that what I saw was just a bad dream and not canon; that this wasn’t what Hideaki Anno originally had in mind. Looking back I see that this may have been an unhealthy mindset.
While I believe I cannot change how the movie (and the events that followed shortly after) affected, I deny the concept that it has to remain that way, because it doesn’t. Still, I do accept that there are some things beyond my control. I cannot force Hideaki Anno to redo the entire Eva series the way I want him do, and even if I could, I feel that wouldn’t be worth my time and effort.
As for the road I wish to walk, no. Not yet. I feel I must place my efforts into the things which I value moreso before turning my attention towards such. I believe I need a new therapist.