Tengen Toppa WARK-angelion

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Postby UrsusArctos » Sun Nov 03, 2013 3:56 am

Things looked bleak for Shinji and company as the Evil Mana Kirishima laughed away and prepared to blow the Eva cast to bits.

But then - a miracle happened!

The clouds parted and a great blast of golden light came from the heavens. In front of them, standing on top of a Leman Russ tank, was Shinji Ikari.

Not the gentle, quiet, ordinary Shinji of NGE, but a Shinji unlike any they had ever seen!

His face was grim and hard, having witnessed many terrible battles and having been subject to injury time and time again. His eyes had a glint like fire in them. His hair grew long and extended into a monstrous, eight-foot-tall suit of golden power armor covered in golden emblems and symbols of power. Wordlessly, he lifted a flaming sword high over his head as if to challenge the opposing tank forces.

It was Shinji, the God-Emperor of Mankind.

Pen-Pen said, "What would you know...?"

Mana Kirishima said, "Well, it seems like Shinji and Warhammer 40K spreads its corrupting influence far and wide. What plot of Tzeentzch could have made this happen? Anyway, that's quite inconsequential! Time to put this sucker back in his own fanfiction!" She grinned evilly and bellowed, "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!"

The tank crews immediately turned their vehicles to face Shinji, God-Emperor of Mankind.

"KILL MAIM BURN!!! KILL MAIM BURN!!!" The animals chanted.

Shinji (the one we know) said, "Erm...this is confusing, isn't it?"

Asuka grabbed his hand. "Don't wait to be confused - just run!"

Mana Kirishima aimed all the guns of the Ratte at God-Emperor Shinji. "Pity therez never enuff dakka!" she said.

More explosions and machine-gun fire followed than onomatoepeia could possibly fit on this page, and the Eva cast hopped into their bus and fled for their lives. The blasting and shooting continued, punctuated by screams of "WAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!!" but nobody knew what was going on amidst the carnage behind.

"Those tanks seem to have lasted unusually long!" Toji said.

"Yeah, you bet they would...it'd be sheer animal cruelty to get rid of them!" Hikari said.

Kensuke sniffed. "Those poor, poor, tanks. What would the machine spirits inside them feel like? I would love to ride one of those beauties off into the sunset and into a museum, where generations of mankind would gaze upon them forever!"

The sun was indeed setting, and it had been a very, very long day for them. In fact, it felt more like a week.

Ritsuko said, "Thank god for the Deus Ex Machina plot device. Hey, what's that strange town coming up in front of us? I didn't see it a minute ago!"

The town was empty, full of large but ramshackle houses. A sign near the entrance said "Eternal Halloween." It was a bizarre place to be, indeed.

What new dangers have the crew headed into? Will the grace of the God-Emperor of Mankind save them? What will happen next? Find out when TTWA returns!!
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You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
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Postby Squigsquasher » Sun Nov 03, 2013 9:28 am

This is now officially the greatest thing ever made.

I salute you, oh great artillery bear.
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Postby UrsusArctos » Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:38 am

Ritsuko brought her bus to a halt in the middle of main street. The town of Eternal Halloween was quiet and very, very creepy. Wind whistled through the gnarled old trees. The cemetery looked suitably creepy in the moonlight. All the houses were deserted and very creepy looking.

"I...I think we've entered a ghost town!" Shinji said.

Pen-Pen said, "Hey, it was Halloween last week!"

Hikari said, "That sign said 'Eternal Halloween', so that means..."

There was an awful moaning in front of them, and Shinji and Pen-Pen screamed, with Pen-Pen jumping on top of Shinji's head. Ritsuko was about to back the bus when the engine died on them.

Hyuga asked, "What now...?"

At that, a grease-covered little gremlin leapt out of the engine, laughing and cackling maniacally. Shinji and Pen-Pen yelled again while the others gawked.

"What in the name of biology was that?" Ritsuko Akagi asked, stepping out along with the adults.

Shinji said, "You step out, I and Pen-Pen will stay in the bus..."

At that moment, a bat with glowing red eyes entered the bus and flew around inside, screeching. Shinji and Pen-Pen jumped out yelling again.

"I feel like I'm in a Scooby-Doo cartoon." Toji said. "What's with all these bats and owls hovering up there?"

"What's that funny light?" Kensuke asked. A strange greenish-white light was floating around the tombstones in the cemetery.

Rei looked around, and said in a deadpan voice, "I see dead people."

"Yuutosei, your name is not M. Night Shyamalan, so please cut out the cheesy one-liners!" Asuka said.

Without warning, an awful figure, long-haired, clad in white, appeared in front of them, wailing at the top of her voice.

"Aaaaah!" Shinji screamed, "It's a Banshee!"

A number of white ghosts in sheets popped up around them, raising their translucent arms, wailing and moaning. The entire gang yelled in horror - except for Rei. And then, the green light glowed brightly and zombies rose from their graves. Cackling ghouls and gargoyles emerged, and the bats and owls hooted and descended lower.

"It's a trap!" Kyoko said.

"Nice spotting, mom!" Asuka said.

Soon, ghosts, zombies, ghouls, wraiths and spirits of every description surrounded the Eva gang. There seemed to be no escape.

And then emerged the leader of the spirits!

"Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, Gunpowder treason and plot..."

"Who's that?" Toji asked.

"...I see no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot."

A figure clad head to toe in black - black tunic, black trousers, black gloves, black cloak, black hat - emerged in front of them. His face was hidden by a strange white mask with a pencil-thin mustache.

"Verily, it is I, the veritable voice of vicious vindication and vindictive vivified verbiage, the one and only V! These spirits you see amongst you are the lost souls of those who were cast aside in their veritable quest for seeking vivification out of the vacuous verbiage of Evangelion! And now their quest is at a vertiable end!" said V.

At that, the ghosts and spirits of Evangelion speculators of ages, who had struggled for so long to find meaning within the show, advanced upon its cast.

"We're in trouble." Shinji said, his teeth chattering. V's eyes glowed evilly behind his mask.

Pen-Pen said, "We need the God-Emperor of Mankind to help us again!"

He was answered, to his surprise, by Rei. "We don't need any Gods to put these ghouls in place." Rei cracked her pale knuckles and smiled, her red eyes glinting in the ghostly light.
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Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Squigsquasher » Mon Nov 04, 2013 2:09 pm

2spooky4me!

What we need now is a horror movie monster pileup battle. Freddy Krueger battles Leatherface, who in turn duels Jason Vorhees, who is fighting Sadako, and so on....
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Postby UrsusArctos » Tue Nov 05, 2013 8:42 am

V promptly raised his hands and began to summon ghosts and spirits. "Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot..."

Everyone except Rei yelled in alarm as ghosts and spirits hovered around them. Shinji said, "I can't move my arms any longer! He's casting a spell on us!" Even Pen-Pen, it turned out, wasn't immune to ghosts and spirits binding them. V laughed evilly as he continued his sorcerous summoning.

"Verily, you will all be taken to the underworld, to the land of misfit posters and rampant speculators where BrikHaus once cast me! Verily, thou shalt know the meaning of ultimate suffering!" V said. "You shall be possessed by these ghosts, and you shall be made to dance like Bengali Forest Ghosts for all eternity, knowing the pain that we have had trying to analyze your characters and make them fit our misconceptions! Verily!!!!"

Orbs of green energy floated around the unfortunate Eva cast as they were prepared for the ultimate evil.

"My first curse: I interview an English dub cast member and stalk her entourage all around!"

Bolts of green energy emerged from V's mouth and hovered around the Eva cast. The ghosts and ghouls danced around. Demonic bats flew in circles above their heads. V continued with his curses.

"I make up a fansite that is dominated and controlled by me and me alone! This is the law! Are we not men?"

More green energy shot out of V's mouth and swirled around the Eva cast. Even more ghouls danced. V was so, so fixated on the looks of fear and terror in the group that he ignored Rei, biding her time, at the very back.

"I write pages and pages of misconception-filled and highly disorganized prose that goes overboard in physical description and then arbitrarily controls content!"

Even more evil energy swirled around them.

"I do not know a word of Japanese but I will go on with Eva without a single accurate translation!"

Vampires grinned exposing their fangs, and ghouls licked their claws. Skeletons rattled and danced and zombies moaned in pleasure.

"I intend to be the fan who makes the Live Action Evangelion Movie possible, and I want people to bow down before me as I alone make great companies bow to my worldview!"

V's mask glowed a nightmarish green. As the ghosts and ghouls and zombies moved in and the Banshee wailed, a single voice rang out clearly in the darkness.

"We don't need you!"

It was Rei Ayanami, and her words caused her to be enveloped in a Halo of light. Beams of golden light shot out of her like flames from the Lost Ark, and like the unfortunate Nazis who had opened it, the ghosts were shot straight through and impaled. V screamed in pain. Those ghosts and zombies that were not instantly disintegrated ran away howling in agony.

Rei repeated, "We don't need you to tell us who we are or fit us into your misconceptions."

And at that moment, a voice rang out from the rooftops. A blue-haired figure stood, silhouetted against the moon.
"Oh oh oh oh oh oh!!! A response fitting for the Dai-Gurren-Dan! My little blue-haired sister, I am proud of you! And the rest of you guys - snap out of it, you morons and follow her lead! You don't need me to help you out this time!"

With a flash of spiral energy, Kamina vanished into hyperspace.

V knew fear now - real fear. And then Asuka took after Rei and spoke up, breaking V's spell at once.
"I am not my dub cast member!!!"

A blast of energy emerged from Asuka's lips as she spoke, and the ghosts and ghouls reeled. The few surviving zombies lost their remaining body parts. V, hit in the mask, staggered backwards.

"Rebuild of Evangelion Three-Point-Zero Post-Third-Impact Timeskip strike!" Misato yelled, raising her hand in the manner of a sailor senshi and bringing it down. This mighty attack dispelled ghosts, blew away bats, and turned the few surviving zombies to ash. The Banshee tried to leave with a couple of vampiric bats, but landed up getting zapped for her troubles.

Ritsuko, Hyuga, Aoba and Maya shouted, "Accurate translation attack!" Blasts of energy shaped like Japanese characters flowed around V's head. The supernatural entities were annihilated, and all that remained was V.

Kyoko and Toji's mother shouted, "You're not an anarchist, you're just a dictator and a pervert!"

That hit V with a blast that singed his clothes and left him smoking. He tried to speak, but no words would come. He had been silenced.

Pen-Pen, Shinji, Toji and Kensuke looked at each other and said, as one, "Let's do this!"

V tried to move, but the last attack had paralyzed him and rooted him to the spot.

"We all exist no matter what you think of us or what you want us to be! We aren't your interpretations or your misconceptions! We are what we are, and we'll create our future with our own hands, together as friends, free from tyrants like you! The future we want is not the future you shall hand down to us! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!!"

And at that, V was utterly annihilated and a huge cloud of spiral energy shot out from the cast. The entire town was leveled and reduced to heaps of kindling. Nothing remained.

"We're ghost-free now." Rei said, smiling.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby Agentomega » Tue Nov 05, 2013 11:30 am

:lol: I see what you did there.
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Postby Squigsquasher » Tue Nov 05, 2013 1:32 pm

Awesome as usual. Keep it up!
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Postby UrsusArctos » Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:30 am

(Back after a long break)

When everyone walked out of the now ghost-free town, a large cat-like figure hanging itself from a spooky halloween-style haunted castle said, "Be careful on the way ahead. Public Security doesn't want any intruders here."

"W...who are you? It's so long after halloween!" Shinji said.

"My name is SPOOKY BOOGIE!" said the figure. "Whatever you do, don't let your Psycho-Pass get clouded!"

"That's a funny way to say it." Toji said, and they walked on.

"What's a Psycho-Pass?" Pen-Pen asked.

They continued walking on through the night. They came upon a strange city that spiraled upwards and upwards towards a giant building on the top.

"Where is everybody?" Misato asked.

"I don't know." Kensuke said. "It's time we sleep."

The whole lot of them camped in the building and went off to sleep. They were awoken the next morning by an alarm ringing and thousands of students charging towards the building.

Shinji went, "Uh, what....?"

A ditzy-looking girl ran past him saying, "Today is no-Chikoku day! Aaaah!"

Everyone looked around in the middle of the chaotic rush.

"Why do some uniforms have stars on them?" Kensuke asked.

It was at that moment they heard a very familiar voice yell, "Moon Prism Power, Make Up!"

"We're in trouble." Shinji said.

Without warning, the five Sailor Senshi materialized around them.

Misato said, "Okay, we're in the middle of some kind of school, the five of you have turned up again, and you're about to say 'In the Name of the Moon, I will punish you", right? Do you mind if we take the fight elsewhere?"

"In the name of civic sense, we'll continue the fight outside the school, of course!" Sailor Moon said.

"It won't be a fight. It'll be a whipping." Kensuke said, ruefully.

Hikari said, "Hey! Ever since when did you get so tall and so slender! Ever since when did you start wearing lipstick?"

Misato said, "She's right! Why does your hair look so poofy? It's less like Odango and more like...a wig!"

The Senshi looked horrifically embarrassed.

The situation changed when they heard a thundering male voice. "Intruders in Honnoji Academy! Disciplinary committee to the ready!"

And after that came a thundering female voice and brilliant, sun-like light. "No, Gamagori. Let us give them a proper finish."

Shinji raised his hands to shield himself from the light. Out of hidden speakers all around the compound, thundering, bombastic music began to play. The speaker, standing on top of a giant tower at one end of the arena-like school, radiated light so bright she was almost impossible to see.

"You five may be princesses in your world, but in this world, this Honnoji Academy is my kingdom, and now you shall have to face me and my lieutenants! Neither powder compacts, nor makeup, nor any of those perverse uniforms shall stop me!"

Shinji finally managed to see the figure - a tall girl with long, black hair in a white uniform, her sword planted firmly on the ground.

"Fear is freedom! Control is liberty! Contradiction is truth! This is the reality of the world! Listen well, you pigs in human clothing, and surrender to that reality! I, President of the Honnoji Academy, Satsuki Kiryuin, will show you the meanings of power and fear!"

Pen-Pen and Shinji quivered in their shoes as the five Senshi faced off against Satsuki and the Elite Four.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby BobBQ » Thu Jun 26, 2014 1:13 pm

Satsuki's the last person to complain about perverse uniforms.

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Postby UrsusArctos » Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:27 pm

View Original PostBobBQ wrote:Satsuki's the last person to complain about perverse uniforms.


Long time no see, commissar. The way I look at it, Satsuki would complain about perverse uniforms while refusing to call Junketsu's transformation depraved because she doesn't care about what others think about her - while the obviously pretty Sailor uniforms are meant to enhance the beauty of the wearer.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Postby UrsusArctos » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:32 am

And then the fic exploded, because the Anti-Spiral king pressed the reset button.

The end.
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Re: Tengen Toppa WARK-angelion

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Postby UrsusArctos » Thu Apr 30, 2020 12:34 am

Gendo whacked the Anti-Spiral over the head and brought the fic back with the power of SCIENCE!

Fuyutsuki said, "It's been six years now."
Gendo said, "I feel old."
Fuyu said, "Not as old as we'll be when Thrice Upon a Time comes out."
Gendo said "Mmm-hmm."
"And our voice actors will be aging too. Mine was old enough. It didn't help that I'd gone bald in that awful movie to match his aging."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Is that all you can say, Ikari?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Fuyu sighed and said, "2020 is nothing like what we thought it'd be. A pandemic, too? Seriously?"
Gendo said, "A good reason to bring this back and finish the fight."
"Don't go all Halo 2 ending on me, Ikari. You were too old to play that game even when it was released." Fuyu said.
"Whatever. Nevertheless, the fic proceeds where it left off." Gendo said.

Satsuki Kiryuin said, "I'll conquer the world for my mother, the great Ragyo Kiryuin! All the world shall bow to the power of REVOCS and we'll be invincible once and for all! Not even that gold-toothed crab-piloting bum in the Kansai region could stand up to my might!"

With a boom, four giant robots appeared, with their terrifying pilots on top of them: a giant frog-gorilla robot, with the great Ira Gamagori atop it! A mighty monkey robot, manned by the magnificent martial arts master Uzu Sanageyama! A deviously devilish digitized dogfighting dog robot, with Hota Inumuta directing the device. And Satsuki's right-hand woman, Nonon Jakuzure, slithered her serpentine snake sonic rocker robot to the forefront.

Pen-Pen said, "It's about time this fic headed somewhere! But do you have to start out like this? We're doomed and we need a Deus Ex Machina to get us out!"
Toji said, "Four versus two? I wish we had something to even the odds. It ain't hopeless, but we'll give them hell..."
A familiar-looking young woman with brown hair walked up out of nowhere and said, "Hell, any place can be heaven if you wanna live big! And we'll even the odds!"
Shinji stared at her. "Wait a moment. Are you Rei's big sister or something?"
"Uhmmm...something like that, I guess? Yui Ikari, pleased to meet you!" the young woman said, with a smile.
"Anta Baka? She's your MOM, you moron!" Asuka yelled.
"MOM?" Shinji's jaw fell open. It didn't stay down for long, because the two Eva transporters were joined by two new Eva transporters - one carrying a blue Eva with one red eye, the other carrying a horned purple Eva with green highlights.

"Shinji , honey, there's a lot to explain, but I don't have the time. Let's get inside the Eva. That's Eva-01, and she's a bit of a beast to handle." Yui said.
Rei said, "If you're going into Eva-01, who's going into my Eva-00 with me?"
A strange cylindrical capsule landed in front of Rei, as if in answer. It opened up and a small Rei in a pink dress stepped out.
Rei 1 said, "You were asking,see? Say, youse better get in da Eva, sistah, see? Myeah."
Everyone - EVERYONE - except Rei 1 and Rei (2) blinked.

Sailor Venus said, "Guys, your giant robot fight hasn't even begun and it's weirding us out already. Do you mind if we..."
Rei 1 said, "Say, sure, feel free to sit this one out, but stay where we's can see ya, 'cause the real action ain't far away, see?"

Rei 2 and the gangster-talking Rei 1 grinned with delight.

More to come after this little teaser...
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster

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Re: Tengen Toppa WARK-angelion

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Postby UrsusArctos » Wed May 06, 2020 12:21 am

The four Evas faced off against the four Devas and their "uniforms". Toji and his mom stood in front of Sanageyama's mountain monkey. Asuka and Kyoko faced off against Inumuta's diabolical dog. The two Reis faced off Jakuzure's snake. And that left Shinji (teeth chattering) facing Gamagori's frog-gorilla.

Ragyo Kiryuin, in her office of fibrous fiendishness, sipped tea while videoconferencing with Gendo and Fuyutsuki, both of whom were in Gendo's office of doom and dread.
"You've knocked off my office layout." Gendo said.
"Says the most incompetent bad dad in all of anime history." Ragyo said.
"Your behavior with your daughter...or should I say, both daughters, is despicable." Gendo said.
"Now, now, those who live in glass officers mustn't throw stones." Ragyo said. "Besides, you'll be owing me a favor once this is all over."
"I suspect things will flip around sooner than you expect." Gendo said.
"The only things flipping around are those useless Angels of yours. Not one of them could bring down those meddling kids and hopelessly out-of-fashion Evangelions! And speaking of out of fashion, you need to do something about your hairstyle and that tacky uniform. And Fuyutsuki too - get someone sexier!" Ragyo said.
Fuyutsuki said, "Excuse me! I'm a very sexy man for my age!"
The conversation was interrupted by Nui Harime, who popped up behind Gendo with a huge smile on her face. Fuyutsuki recoiled at Nui's sheer creepiness, but Gendo was as impassive as ever.
Gendo said, "Unnecessary."
Ragyo harrumphed and said, "You don't even have what it takes to be evil, little Gendo!"
Gendo said, "I toss down the gauntlet...I mean, cup." He put own a Nerv coffee mug that said "Worst anime dad."
Ragyo turned around her teacup, to show that it read "Worst anime mom."
Both of them said, "May the worst parent win."


Meanwhile, the four Evas continued to face off against their opposite numbers.
Inumuta said, "I calculate your probability of victory is 0.0000001%. I'm not even sure I'll get good data out of our fight."
Asuka said,"I don't care about your calculations, 'cause like that Simon guy says, as long as it's not zero, it might as well be a hundred percent!"
Kyoko said, "As a Ph.D in theoretical mathematical biology, I'm gonna school you!"

Sanageyama said, "You handle those tonfa pretty well, but my Shingantsu allows me to anticipate your every move!"
Toji said, "Bring it on, monkey bro!"

Jakuzure said, "Prepare to be cheerfully and musically decibel-blasted out of existence!"
Rei 1 said, "Say, that'sh the problem with you, see? Snakesh only hear infrasound, see? You're gonna be tone-deaf in this punch-up, see? Myeah!"
Jakuzure snorted, "I'll get you for that, you dirty little gangster!"

Gamagori thundered, "Shinji IKARRRRIIIII!!!!! I'll pound your arse out of existence with my whips! I'll Brrrrright Noah you into being a man! I'll Errrrmey you into being a solider! I'll rrrrrock and rrrrollll you into submission like NOOORRRRRRRIIIO WAKAMOTO rrrrrollls his RRrrrrrrrrrssss!!! Aaarrrrrrrrrrr!!!"
Shinji whimpered.
Yui said, "Disciplinary committee head, huh? No such thing. You're a bully and I'll beat the stuffing out of anyone who bullies my boy!"

Asuka and Inumuta opened up with a mutual barrage of spikes and missiles, shooting up into the air in their respective mecha to dogfight.
Asuka shifted the gears on her manual gearshift, and Eva-02 transformed mid-air into a fighter that looked like an F-14 Tomcat.
"I always wanted to do that!" Asuka said.
Kyoko said, "I feel the need..."
Both said, "...FOR SPEED!"

Sanageyama's monkey-mech went berserk, swinging a giant kendo sword at Eva-03, with Toji and his mom just barely blocking with their tonfas.
"MEN! DOU! KOTE! MENDOUKOTE MENDOUKOTE...!" Sanageyama chanted.
"You can't call that out unless you connect!" Toji's mom yelled.
"Who cares?" Sanageyama said, before resuming his call-outs.

Jakuzure tried to blast Rei with an amplified sonic attack of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, but Eva-00 whipped out a giant trombone from mid-air and responded by Jazzing it out.
"Say, you need to hear more Ornette Coleman, see? Myeah!" Rei 1 said.

Shinji shuddered as the frog-gorilla bot whipped out a pair of whips and readied to whip him good.
Yui said, "No, I'm the one who'll do the whipping, bully-boy!"
[Became a moderator on December 31st, 2007. Became an administrator on September 7th, 2013.]
Not knowing that Monk is bi is like not knowing the Pope is Catholic - ZapX
You're either really bad at interpreting jokes or really good at pretending you are and I have no idea which.-Monk Ed
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!(<-link to lunacy)...Taste me, if you can bear it. (Warning: Language NSFW)
The main point of idiocy is for the smart to have their lulz. Without human idiocy, trolling would not exist, and that's uncool, since a large part of my entertainment consists of mocking the absurdity and dumbassery of the world, especially the Internet.-MaggotMaster


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