Ch.16: Trust
As before, this conversation between the siblings will be split into multiple installments. (I might fiddle with the chapter titles later.) The next part should absolutely NOT take another ten days to happen.
Also, goddamn, sometimes I think I'm writing Misato as bipolar. I guess it wouldn't be altogether inappropriate, though......
Derantor:
delayed Ch.15 response SPOILER: Show
I much appreciate the comments about Misato's state of mind in Ch.15. Very useful for helping me see a side of the writing that's not initially obvious to me. The "microcosm" bit is especially interesting.
Channeling much of my Aspyness into Kaworu feels like the most natural thing in the world. I'm sure I was pouring my despair into Kaworu for many years on end -- making up head canons about him, and such -- before I actually realized what I was really doing. Damn you, anime characters, forcing me into greater self-awareness and stuff! The reason this makes perfect sense is that... Well, there's a very pervasive sense throughout life that you ("you" as in "unspecified person"; I hate English) somehow ended up on the wrong planet -- hence the name of the large online Aspy community -- and despite your complete and utter disadvantage, you're expected to conform to the locals, or suffer. Pretending to be "normal" is terrible and exhausting, but not having any tools for surviving in a world that wasn't made for you might be even worse. It's a catch-22.
The Angels in general to me function as a potent metaphor for autism. They can't communicate well, and almost nobody tries to work with them in any way, so (almost) all they have are non-verbal means of expression such as violence. They're on a world that was not made for them, and for this they are punished. Kaworu is the Aspy of the lot, as he is obviously the highest-functioning, represented by his ability to "pass" -- he looks and talks just enough like us to not be automatically hassled for it, but he's clearly still far from normal. He's still the Other, and always will be. (I'm not sure what the Impacts would be in this metaphor... A change in the status quo that would benefit the disadvantaged, perhaps. Those who already have the advantage love to treat any change, even one for universal good, as the worst thing ever.)
In any case, Eva being a setting that provides its own justification for aliens that aren't really aliens, and are instead just another version of us, makes it quite ideal for exploring neurodiversity.
I'm glad Kaworu's attempts to navigate new social situations weren't (too) cringy! His human qualities starting to shine through is a relief, as well. Everything is going according to plan...
>what exactly he needs Misato for - which I only understood so easily because of your posts in the MP-Eva-Soul-thread
Now I wonder how many story elements have been "spoiled" by my recent frenetic posting in Discussion... But that's fine, I suppose. Particular aspects of the story have been planned well in advance, but many others have not, so there remain many surprises even I can't spoil.
>Kaworu has that effect on people
It makes perfect sense, in its own fucked-up way. Kaworu is a Jesus figure, and a Space Mom on top of (or perhaps, more accurately, "deep under") that. I suppose this just might be Adam's natural disposition. "As long as you allow me to get close enough, I will provide you with unconditional love."(ARE KAWORU NAGISA AND STEVEN UNIVERSE THE SAME PERSON? IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK!!!) Shinji's relationships with parental figures are all screwed up in some way. Same with Misato. Kaworu might be a natural draw to anybody who needs God-Mom Love in their life. But for the same reasons that Shinji and Misato want and need God-Mom, they'd get very quickly confused about their sentiments toward God-Mom. They've had no reliable adults close at hand to properly model physical affection and intimate relationships. "God-Mom held my hand?? OH CRAP, ME SO SEXUALLY CONFUSED NOW!!!"
Channeling much of my Aspyness into Kaworu feels like the most natural thing in the world. I'm sure I was pouring my despair into Kaworu for many years on end -- making up head canons about him, and such -- before I actually realized what I was really doing. Damn you, anime characters, forcing me into greater self-awareness and stuff! The reason this makes perfect sense is that... Well, there's a very pervasive sense throughout life that you ("you" as in "unspecified person"; I hate English) somehow ended up on the wrong planet -- hence the name of the large online Aspy community -- and despite your complete and utter disadvantage, you're expected to conform to the locals, or suffer. Pretending to be "normal" is terrible and exhausting, but not having any tools for surviving in a world that wasn't made for you might be even worse. It's a catch-22.
The Angels in general to me function as a potent metaphor for autism. They can't communicate well, and almost nobody tries to work with them in any way, so (almost) all they have are non-verbal means of expression such as violence. They're on a world that was not made for them, and for this they are punished. Kaworu is the Aspy of the lot, as he is obviously the highest-functioning, represented by his ability to "pass" -- he looks and talks just enough like us to not be automatically hassled for it, but he's clearly still far from normal. He's still the Other, and always will be. (I'm not sure what the Impacts would be in this metaphor... A change in the status quo that would benefit the disadvantaged, perhaps. Those who already have the advantage love to treat any change, even one for universal good, as the worst thing ever.)
In any case, Eva being a setting that provides its own justification for aliens that aren't really aliens, and are instead just another version of us, makes it quite ideal for exploring neurodiversity.
I'm glad Kaworu's attempts to navigate new social situations weren't (too) cringy! His human qualities starting to shine through is a relief, as well. Everything is going according to plan...
>what exactly he needs Misato for - which I only understood so easily because of your posts in the MP-Eva-Soul-thread
Now I wonder how many story elements have been "spoiled" by my recent frenetic posting in Discussion... But that's fine, I suppose. Particular aspects of the story have been planned well in advance, but many others have not, so there remain many surprises even I can't spoil.
>Kaworu has that effect on people
It makes perfect sense, in its own fucked-up way. Kaworu is a Jesus figure, and a Space Mom on top of (or perhaps, more accurately, "deep under") that. I suppose this just might be Adam's natural disposition. "As long as you allow me to get close enough, I will provide you with unconditional love."