So like many of you I ship Asuka with Shinji, because if they aren't right for each other then they're right for no one. Since Shinji's, and to a lesser extent everyone else's, sexuality is a major component of NGE, I wanted to have some input on this issue. I don't think I've ever read an Eva fic without a romantic sub plot, but I could never quite get a clear picture of how the fandom see's Asuka's sexuality.

Let's look at the show


Now the fandom is not necessarily the show, and fanfiction kind of takes on a life of it's own. For example Hikari is usually portrayed as a kind sweet girl who anyone can approach, but in the show she's kind of bossy and only really shows her sweet side to Toji and Asuka, and the fact that she would be friends with someone like Asuka shows she's either chasing social points or gets along with a girl who's narcissistic and mean.

Fanfiction obviously portrays situations that didn't arise in the show, and I've seen a lot of takes with various levels of believability. Asuka's age is a major factor.



So how promiscuous is Asuka and how does this effect her relationship with Shinji? I'm writing a fic where Asuka is a 19 year old University Prof and Shinji a student at the University she teaches at. I imagine that Asuka would have lost her virginity where she was around 15 to some college guy while she was a PhD student, and either engages in emotionless casual sex, or has a series of relationships that end when the guy can't stand her anymore, or has long relationships where she doesn't feel strongly about the guy because she doesn't feel strongly about anyone.
Shinji may not necessarily be a virgin, but I don't imagine him being very experienced. He's depressive and introverted, and I can't imagine Asuka being attracted to him, despite that they were literately made for each other. Asuka doesn't let herself be vulnerable, and Shinji doesn't know how to reach out. I don't want Asuka to be some Tsun that likes wimpy MC because he's MC.
What do you guys think? I'm probably going to write there relationship as two scabs picking at each other, but why would they get together in the first place?

In the series, Asuka is at that age where girls mature faster than boys. We see that she spurns all the fan letters from her classmates, but considers going on a date with a young man several years her senior. Combined with the implications that she was hot-housed through her early years and her early declaration

Asuka wrote:I am not a baby. I will become an adult earlier than other people. I don't need a teddy bear.

her attitude to sex is that it would be an undeniable validation of her own adulthood by another adult (plus this is typical hypergamous behaviour). There are echoes of this sex-as-adult in Misato's attempt to encourage Shinji out of his shell in EoE.

Also

Asuka wrote:How idiotic! It's just two lonely adults comforting each other.

Asuka wrote:It's just an easy way for you feel that you're worth something.

So, not promiscuous as such; merely considering a specific part of the association cloud of being sexually active at all against her actual physical age. If enough years have passed that she is past most of the milestones to being legally recognised by age alone as adult, sex would cease to be such a major marker.

In the series, Shinji had one major feature in his favour that inclined Asuka to not immediately dismiss him -- he had high status via his role as another Eva pilot. I would expect that she would continue to display hypergamous behaviour, and be looking up the status ladder, at least until she achieved an age where she might start offering cougaresque pity-sex downwards.

Asuka wrote:Aaahh... I wonder if I'll act like Misato when I grow up?

I think it would be best to see what Shinji and Kaji have in common in order to see what Asuka likes, because she seems to spurn anything else. I don't think she would just randomly have sex with anybody.

Like the first fic you mentioned, I can see that happening because of how much Gendo and Shinji are alike.

Asuka is incredibly chauvinistic, and seems downright prudish in her behavior. That seems counterintuitive given her portrayal in the show (examples of which are listed above), but there are two layers to her: there's the narcissistic bitch who acts cool and confident and knowledgeable (the facade), and there's the histrionic little girl who's mired in self-hatred and terrified of being alone (the core). With sexuality in particular these two interact in strange ways: if Kaji had taken her up on her offer, for example, she would have been terrified; she might force herself to go through with it if her need for validation was great enough, but more likely she'd panic and her esteem for him would shatter completely. But what of Shinji, you ask? To her Shinji's a kid, and no threat whatsoever, so she's willing to be more bold with him. But if he had actually called her bluff re: the Wall of Jericho, or if he had actually held her during the kiss? Again, panic. She doesn't want to be alone, but she doesn't know how to be with someone, and she's so badly damaged that fixing that issue will be hard.

So, how promiscuous should she be? Not at all. Not even a little bit. Her pretense of sexuality is a bluff, and if anyone called her on it she'd run like hell.

^ Exactly. She craves for being praised as an "adult", but shirks away at the deeper responsibilities of such a title.

She's a paradox unto herself.

I'm with Bagheera on this one: I think allowing Asuka (or any the characters) to explore sexuality is not necessarily something to run from, but portraying her as promiscuous is not in tune with her character as it is seen in the series.

She COULD become promiscuous later in life, but you would have to draw the line to that point: how does she develop that?

That's my five cents on it, anyway: my views on canon should be pretty easy to gather at this point, so that five cents might be moot in the long run.

I'm amused by the question being HOW promiscuous Asuka should be, as if the fact that she is promiscuous is a given and it's just a question of to what degree.

Atropos wrote:I'm amused by the question being HOW promiscuous Asuka should be, as if the fact that she is promiscuous is a given and it's just a question of to what degree.

I didn't take it that way at all. It's a perfectly fine question put just fine and saves time given what the OP wanted to know compared to any lengthier version.

Why not, say, "Should Asuka be promiscuous"? Gets across the same point just fine, and then he can talk about depictions of a promiscuous Asuka and whether they're believable or not, as he did.

But I wasn't making a serious attack on the OP. I just thought it was a bit amusing, and I enjoy nitpicking stuff like that due to my numerous severe personality disorders.

Before I got a grasp on Asuka's personality other than the stereotypes, I almost fell into the trap of making her too promiscuous - more like sex-crazed, to be exact, and I wasn't even writing a lemon. I was a teenager myself back then, but still.

Needless to say, that's not a mistake I'm going to make again.

Not at all is a perfectly valid answer to my question. But some things to consider.
1. If Asuka is a prude then she's going to get critisism once everyone starts to have sex and she doesn't. She hates criticism.
2. If she's too much of a tease then boys are going to be fed up with her. Date rape is imaginable.
3. In the series, Asuka is pretty broken by the end, and even if third impact doesn't happen I can't imagine her having any kind of relationship.
4. An older Asuka might just want to go out and get layed once in a while.
5. Asuka being a genius evangelion pilot, is in a position to find the high status men she desires, but most would reject her because of the massive age diffrence. What if Asuka was 17+?

I was just thinking of this:

I remember having some pretty darn conservative views back when I was 13/14 too, and they changed over time without much fanfare. I remember being devastated in high school to learn that this girl I was really into was not a virgin. I was also big on the idea that people shouldn't have sex before marriage -- unless true love blah blah blah. Eventually I just ... grew out of it. Changed my view and never noticed the exact point where it happened, if a single point could even be identified. I learned more about what the real world was like, or something, or maybe the media I consumed changed and imparted a different view of sex onto me, or I just wised up and realized how stupid I was being. And that shift happened before I was even out of high school.

I think we forget just how young 13/14 actually is. After thinking about the above I daresay you really don't even need to justify any change in her sexual attitudes as she gets older (though I do think it's a good idea to acknowledge the change) -- if anything it's staying the same that would need to be explained.

EDIT to address the post below without derailing the thread: I was thinking of Asuka's chauvinism and prudishness when I wrote this (technically tangential, I know), but probably nobody was assuming she'd grow up continuing with those necessarily anyway now that I think about it.

Asuka's hangups are the result of childhood trauma and isolation and not simple youth and inexperience. She has severe psychological handicaps, and "growing out of it" isn't really an option for her.

Asuka being promiscuous? Now, that's something I do (not) think of her. But really, looking at any of her incarnations, it's the last thing that would come to my mind, if at all.

I think there's also an intersection of misunderstanding here concerning promiscuity, legitimate pubescent curiosity regarding sexuality, and a lack of oversight and guidance by older figures concerning healthy outlets for that activity (for instance, Kaji brushing off or ignoring Asuka's outbursts, which is not the right thing to do).

This is not to say that Asuka's behavior is completely innocent: it certainly indicates a foundational pattern of what could eventually turn into promiscuous habits. That being said, a lot of her behavior strikes me as experimental, a combination of both trying to find attention-getting behaviors and a legitimate lack of knowledge in how sexual relations/activities work. Basically, very common teenage behaviors with a very rotten core.

Asuka is not promiscuous in the series. She could become promiscuous, but she could just as easily (and more likely) run from physical intimacy as she gets older (especially following the situation with Arael). That right there is the biggest deciding factor in whether or not she developed one way or the other (depending upon how strict with canon you want to be). The general trend with rape victims is emotional detachment from the event, which leads to a semi normalizing of life (back to old routines which are safe, and can include safe sexual habits), but also the more common habit of sexual avoidance (too many triggers) which takes time to deprogram from (and is never really 100 percent successful). It is vanishing we rare for a rape victim to become promiscuous: in terms of sexual abuse, that kind of behavior stems from repeated abuse during formative years (which I reiterate is in terms of sexual abuse and asdault: there are many people who are promiscuous just because they plain old like sex).

The situation with Arael was not a physical act of rape, but it was still a rape, which means any situation that would put Asuka in a state of vulnerability (like physical intimacy) would be very difficult for her based upon her behavior following that incident. You could probably say the same (in fact more so) regarding post-Impact stories (as Bagjeera is exploring in Ghosts: being eaten alive is certainly going to do some things to your ability to engage in normal, healthy relations).

I think we can all agree that after episode 22 her character changes completely, and she probably won't go back to all her old behaviors, or will act out in different ways. Honestly unless 3rd impact and subsequent beach time with Shinji somehow helps her recover, I'd imagine she would be in a psych ward for quite a while, and would never be able to form real relationship without hundreds of hours of therapy.

I didn't think about this until Gob brought it up, but Asuka has no real role models, male or female. We don't really know much about Asuka's father and step-mother, and what we do know isn't good.
She was raised basically by Kaji, giving her a host of daddy issues. Kaji is one of the more together people in the show, but he's something of a philanderer and tries to push Asuka off onto Shinji just because he doesn't want attention from a 13 year old girl.

She goes to live with alcoholic Misato, who despite not being shown with anyone other then Kaji (sorry Makoto) says in EoTV that she seeks comfort in men to drown her pain.

Oh, and she found her mom hanging by a rope, so there's that.

She has no idea what a healthy adult looks like, nevermind what their relationship would look like.

Points of order:

• Asuka was not raised by Kaji. Misato was actually her initial point of contact with Nerv in Germany, with Kaji only coming in once she transferred to Nerv HQ in Japan. She (Asuka) hasn't actually known Kaji all that long.
  
  
• Misato is not actually promiscuous. Despite painting that picture with her behavior, and claiming she uses men to deal with her inner pain, she hasn't actually slept with anyone other than Kaji. This is spelled out when we see her in bed with Kaji -- see here for proof. There is absolutely no question on this matter -- Misato acts like a slut, but that's all it is. In reality she's actually pretty chaste, apart from Kaji.
  
  
• Kaji is not actually a philanderer. He plays the role to tease Misato, but we never actually see him following through with, well, anyone. By all appearances he's intensely loyal to Misato, and only acts otherwise to tweak her nose and keep her interested.
  
  
• Gob is 100% spot on with his assessment of Asuka here, which is bizarre to me because we are usually at odds when it comes to our understanding of her. I feel funny.

That's all, carry on.

Misato is not actually promiscuous. Despite painting that picture with her behavior, and claiming she uses men to deal with her inner pain, she hasn't actually slept with anyone other than Kaji. This is spelled out when we see her in bed with Kaji -- see here for proof. There is absolutely no question on this matter -- Misato acts like a slut, but that's all it is. In reality she's actually pretty chaste, apart from Kaji.

I just read that thread, and if it's true that Misato has only ever had sex with Kaji, then it's wildly unrealistic. Misato is REALLY HOT Christmas cake with daddy issues. Kaji is probably her first, and probably her best, but people who are able to function in society have sex. Alcoholic women have sex. Generally everyone but me has sex. Maybe she only smokes after good sex, and who can measure up to Kaji?

Likewise if Asuka didn't have to face post clip episode NGE, then she would probably have some (bad) [sexual] relationships. However I think a girl like Asuka would be very intimidating to most guys. She's approaching PGOAT (prettiest girl of all time), has a genius level intellect (according to canon, but they don't show it at all), and pilots a bio-mechanical monster to fight aliens. I wouldn't bother asking her out. I wouldn't bother even sending her a facebook friend request.

Shinji is never shown masturbating in the show, but EoE shows he obviously knows how to, so there is an implied life outside screen time for all characters.

The only pure maiden on the show is Kensuke, who will never get laid.

The Polyethylene Man wrote:I just read that thread, and if it's true that Misato has only ever had sex with Kaji, then it's wildly unrealistic.

That's really not the point. The story is what it is, and once we buy into the notion of giant cyborgs who regularly tell the laws of physics to go fuck themselves all notions of realism go out the window.

Also, as far as realism goes, people react to trauma in all manner of different ways. The notion that one reaction is "realistic" while another is not is, in itself, unrealistic.

The Polyethylene Man wrote:people who are able to function in society have sex.

You appear to be saying that anyone who is not promiscuous is not properly functional in society. That's simply nonsense, you know.