Everybody Love Rei.
Best Pair: What Eva Characters Do You Ship?
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- Shamsiel-kun
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- ChamucaRobota
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- Nuclear Lunchbox
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Why not just have a bridge bunny threesome? And all wearing bunny outfits.
Shin Evangelion brought me back, five long years later.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
- Shamsiel-kun
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I totally thought of a scenario for such a doujin, that also is an alternate interpretation of the episode in question, Not Safe For Mind of course:
We all know how Toji is, like, completely oblivious to Hikari's interest in him. However, he has shown some interest in Rei and Asuka every now and then. Looking under skirts, just happens to be Asuka (slap-slap-kiss relationship blah blah), peeking at Rei etc etc.
So, after some serious boozing session one day, he decides to man up and put the moves on the girls. First, he decides to show how much of a MAN he is by beating the shit out of the other drunks at the pub. Misato, one of them, gets hit by a flying table and breaks an arm. Even the cops prove no match for GAR Toji, all attempts to reason with him proving futile, and soon he starts his search for sexytime targets.
First, he encounters Asuka. Asuka, normally so headstrong, is totally intimidated by Toji's MANlyness, and only escapes his aggressive advances by locking herself in a mobile toilet, torn clothes and all. Toji attempts to force it open by toppling it. Unfortunately it lands on the side with the door, and Toji is not strong enough to lift it. However, Asuka is now trapped in the toilet. She manages to phone Shinji and warn him of Toji's rampage, but shakes so much she drops her mobile phone in the toilet bowl. Communication cut off.
Then, Toji encounters Rei. Rei is easier to deal with. Toji MANly overpowers the poor girl and starts molesting her. Rei, not knowing how to react to such behaviour, first lets him do his thing. Then Toji wips out his MANweapon. He lovingly refers to it as his Entry Plug. Rei, scared, manages to crawl away from him, but his relentless assault continues and he tries to MANly force himself down on her. Rei finally pulls the trigger and slaps him, HARD. Toji is stunned. Rei escapes into another mobile toilet and frantically phones Shinji as Toji MANly topples over this toilet too, making it land door down again. Communication cut off, again.
Shinji is worried and scared, 'cause he has to confront his friend Toji, who is so massively overintoxicated that he can't be reasoned with. First, Shinji asks his dad for help. Gendo delegates to Yui-sama, Shinji's mom. Now this Yui-sama, she is a strong woman. And she is also rather fed up with her loser of a husband two-timing her with Ritsuko. Apparently coming on to him aggressively isn't enough to make him truly faithful. And now there's this boy, Toji, who thinks he's such a hunk, such a MAN. So she comes up with this cunning plan, to take revenge on her husbando and at the same time show this Toji, this sexual deviant who likes to rape little girls, what a REAL, adult woman is like (and maybe teach Shinji, her Shinji, how adults deal with such things, yeah).
So Toji Teh MAN encounters Yui-sama, and puts the moves on her, forcing her down like a real MAN. Oh yeah. But, but what is this? Yui-sama takes the lead. Before he knows it, Toji looses his shirt, then his trousers, shoes, socks, and finally, underpants. Yui-sama tears into him, ferociously letting loose her repressed sexual desires, breaking down defence after defence, teaching him well, showing him why the girl on top is the best. Repeatedly. They go at it for hours. Then, Toji screams like a little girl, as a terrifying snap resounds through the area. Yui-sama finally lifts herself off Toji, looking at his miserably broken Entry Plug in contempt. It bleeds fluid all over the place. She howls loudly: "IS THAT ALL YOU CAN TAKE, LITTLE BOY?!? IS THAT ALL?!?"
Epilogue:
Toji lies in hospital, with a severely mashed leg, permanently cockblocked and blueballed. Hikari sits next to his bed, face in her hands, crying. She'll never bear his child now.
Elsewhere, Misato looks over at Shinji, who has a permanent blank expression and sits in a corner, facing the wall. She then glances over at Ritsuko, and asks: "How is the Commander?".
Ritsuko, without looking up from the very thick report she is reading, answers: "I have prescribed him the same drug as I prescribed everyone else but us. Once he awakes, he will have forgotten all details about the last week. It is the only way to ensure no further trauma is induced by the memories...of...that...event." The last few words come out strained. Ritsuko looks very tired.
"According to the psychiatrist, Shinji will likely never recover. It is a combination of amnesia and PTSS caused by a terrible shock. He witnessed...that...event..." Misato gasps at this point, steadying herself against the desk, before concluding: "from very close by. Too close by." Misato puts her face in her hands, breathing jaggedly. "Can I have that pill too? I can't deal with this..."
Ritsuko takes out a little bottle, filled with pills, and takes out one, before handing it to Misato. "Unfortunately, the pill is purple, just like EVA-01. Try not to think about it while you swallow it. As for Shinji, I've modified the Reiquarium to produce a replacement..."
"The Rei...what?" Misato asks.
"Never mind, you won't remember that when you wake up..." Ritsuko watches how Misato sits down, puts the purple pill in her mouth, tries not to think too much about the little green patches and the miniature horn sticking out of the pill, and gulps it down with a large helping of water, then promptly falls asleep. Ritsuko looks at the report again, and mumbles "Who would have thought putting a human soul in an Eva could have such results, truly one of the kinkiest things I've ever witnessed. Too bad about NERV's personel, Human Resources really should put more thought into who they hire. Really, those people have no imagination at all." Sighing, she puts the heavy report in one of her desk's drawers, the one labeled "unimportant stuff", and locks it.
Of course all scenes before the epilogue play with Toji clad in a Eva-03 cosplay custome.
- ChamucaRobota
- Lilith
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- Monk Ed
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Too bad the name Plug In Baby is taken.
System Administrator
"NGE is like a perfectly improvised jazz piece. It builds on a standard and then plays off it from there, and its developments may occasionally recall what it's done before as a way of keeping the whole concatenated." -- Eva Yojimbo
"To me watching anime is not just for killing time or entertainment, it is a life style, and a healthy one too." -- symbv
"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara
"NGE is like a perfectly improvised jazz piece. It builds on a standard and then plays off it from there, and its developments may occasionally recall what it's done before as a way of keeping the whole concatenated." -- Eva Yojimbo
"To me watching anime is not just for killing time or entertainment, it is a life style, and a healthy one too." -- symbv
"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara
- Nuclear Lunchbox
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Waka waka. Hey, it's by Maniac Street!
Shin Evangelion brought me back, five long years later.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Maybe it's because I haven't read the entire thread but how can anybody have NOT mention the possibility of a Toji x Shinji pairing? Not only is it preferable to LKS (KawoShin), but it's so much hotter/erotic. It fits the BL archetype to a T! Shinji is the uke to Toji's seme and vice versa. I can just a picture a homophobic Toji being in denial with the "No homo" and "It's not like I like you or anything" schtick, but deep down he loves his waifu and Shin-chan being slightly submissive, girly/effeminate, shy and willing to do anything for his husbando and cook for him.
I can also just imagine their love sessions: From the classroom on Shinji's desk to the boy's bathroom, Nerv HQ, the Nerv bathrooms to Misato and Asuka's bedrooms! Just like bunnies!
BTW, Kaji x Shinji as an awesome pairing too.
I can also just imagine their love sessions: From the classroom on Shinji's desk to the boy's bathroom, Nerv HQ, the Nerv bathrooms to Misato and Asuka's bedrooms! Just like bunnies!
BTW, Kaji x Shinji as an awesome pairing too.
X
Among the people who use the Internet, many are obtuse. Because they are locked in their rooms, they hang on to that vision which is spreading across the world. But this does not go beyond mere ‘data’. Data without analysis [thinking], which makes you think that you know everything. This complacency is nothing but a trap. Moreover, the sense of values that counters this notion is paralyzed by it.
And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996
And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996
- Monk Ed
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Because this is a crack pairing thread, and there's nothing cracked out about the awesomeness that is TouShin.
Not only is it preferable to LKS (KawoShin), but it's so much hotter/erotic.
I usually prefer it (TouShin) myself, but I feel like we've had that discussion.
I can also just imagine their love sessions: From the classroom on Shinji's desk to the boy's bathroom, Nerv HQ, the Nerv bathrooms to Misato and Asuka's bedrooms! Just like bunnies!
I usually imagine them in the classroom or Misato's apartment, but now I have new ideas!
If by that you mean Dancing Man Rei, that is indeed quite the crack ship.
System Administrator
"NGE is like a perfectly improvised jazz piece. It builds on a standard and then plays off it from there, and its developments may occasionally recall what it's done before as a way of keeping the whole concatenated." -- Eva Yojimbo
"To me watching anime is not just for killing time or entertainment, it is a life style, and a healthy one too." -- symbv
"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara
"NGE is like a perfectly improvised jazz piece. It builds on a standard and then plays off it from there, and its developments may occasionally recall what it's done before as a way of keeping the whole concatenated." -- Eva Yojimbo
"To me watching anime is not just for killing time or entertainment, it is a life style, and a healthy one too." -- symbv
"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara
Among the people who use the Internet, many are obtuse. Because they are locked in their rooms, they hang on to that vision which is spreading across the world. But this does not go beyond mere ‘data’. Data without analysis [thinking], which makes you think that you know everything. This complacency is nothing but a trap. Moreover, the sense of values that counters this notion is paralyzed by it.
And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996
And so we arrive at demagogy. - Hideaki Anno, 1996
- Nuclear Lunchbox
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Woof.
Shin Evangelion brought me back, five long years later.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Hey man, dogs need love too.
For my post-3I fic, go here.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.
The law doesn't protect people. People protect the law. -- Akane Tsunemori, Psycho-Pass
People's deaths are to be mourned. The ability to save people should be celebrated. Life itself should be exalted. -- Volken Macmani, Tatakau Shisho: The Book of Bantorra
I hate myself. But maybe I can learn to love myself. Maybe it's okay for me to be here! That's right! I'm me, nothing more, nothing less! I'm me. I want to be me! I want to be here! And it's okay for me to be here! -- Shinji Ikari, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Yes, I know. You thought it would be something about Asuka. You're such idiots.
- Nuclear Lunchbox
- Agent Ahegao
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A cat is fine too.
Shin Evangelion brought me back, five long years later.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
- Gob Hobblin
- First Ancestor
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Guy Nacks, there's too much ginger tsundere amazingness in that pairing! The multiverse will implode in upon itself in a swirl of estrogen fueled, passive-aggressive UST!
...
On another note, I am glad that this thread is a thing. Why did it take so long for it to happen?
Squig...you mad genius!!
...
On another note, I am glad that this thread is a thing. Why did it take so long for it to happen?
Squig...you mad genius!!
Though, Gob still might look good in a cocktail dress.
-Sorrow
Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle
We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope
Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?
-Sorrow
Rei wanted to know what waffles tasted like.
-Literary Eagle
We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, and work. But work has to come in third.
-Leslie Knope
Come read EVA Sessions! This place has it, too! There'll be pizza! Not really! There are other things, too! Not EVA Sessions! Did I mention the pizza!?
- Monk Ed
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What's UST? Google is little help with such short initialisms. (wtf spellcheck you don't know that word but you know Google?!)
System Administrator
"NGE is like a perfectly improvised jazz piece. It builds on a standard and then plays off it from there, and its developments may occasionally recall what it's done before as a way of keeping the whole concatenated." -- Eva Yojimbo
"To me watching anime is not just for killing time or entertainment, it is a life style, and a healthy one too." -- symbv
"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara
"NGE is like a perfectly improvised jazz piece. It builds on a standard and then plays off it from there, and its developments may occasionally recall what it's done before as a way of keeping the whole concatenated." -- Eva Yojimbo
"To me watching anime is not just for killing time or entertainment, it is a life style, and a healthy one too." -- symbv
"That sounds like the kind of science that makes absolutely 0 sense when you stop and think about it... I LOVE IT." -- Rosenakahara
- Nuclear Lunchbox
- Agent Ahegao
- Age: 26
- Posts: 10623
- Joined: Dec 13, 2012
- Location: Nippon
- Gender: Male
UrbanDictionary says "Unresolved Sexual Tension."
Shin Evangelion brought me back, five long years later.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
Apophenia. Noun. The tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.
They called me the Quentin Tarantino of hentai.
The difference between a blow-up doll and a dakimakura.
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