It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation. This sort of penetration increases the population of the younger generation.
-(it's from South Park, that's all I remember)

People are like, "You should cherish life, every day is a gift!" Yeah, keep the receipt on some of those, return 'em for store credit.
-Kyle Kinane

I'll double-check scratch-off tickets I find on the sidewalk. 'Cause I think anybody that plays scratch-off tickets is stupid...stupid enough to discard a winning ticket. "You fools are throwing your money away...ooh, hold on, what's here? Free ticket? That's like a dollar gift certificate for hope!"
-Kyle Kinane

I had a very particular low point, it was a few months back when I was in a Seven-Eleven buying dinner...and that's not where you get a staple of your diet if you're in the vicinity of somebody that loves you. I was not, I was in Los Angeles. Nobody loves anybody down there.
-Kyle Kinane

The world's just a more fun place if you're agnostic. Like, just leave the 'maybe' there, y'know? It's just more fun. Like "Why do trees grow so tall?" "Maybe it's God." "Is that a guy following us with a knife?" "Maybe it's a chupacabra." It's just, the world's a more whimsical place, if you get into that.
-Kyle Kinane

I just don't trust anybody that is so positive, so certain about something that you can't prove, y'know? Either way, either side you fall on, God or no God. I don't trust them, and I don't trust people that have confidence without alcohol. Somebody that can dance when they're sober is the scariest person you'll ever meet.
-Kyle Kinane

Read my sig

"It doesn't matter were you stand....so long as we're all in it together."~Rewind (Same place as the one in my sig)

"I know not what weapons world war III will be fought with but world war IV will surly be fought with sticks and stones"~ Albert Enstine (I think)

"You always have a choice it whether you or not you accept it,"~my 8th grade algebra teacher

"Yesterday is past, tomorrow has yet to come, we have only today" I can't remember were it's from

"Years from now you're children are gonna ask you 'where were you when they took over the world'"~Semore Simons

"In this universe of ours is anything truly forever?"~Optimus Prime

Yes I realize quite a few of these are transformers quotes

"Why does humanity always cast aspersions on others simply out of regret for their failure to understand the consequences of their own decisions?" - Incubator Kyubey

"If I know that the teacher is wrong, and say nothing, then I remain the only one who knows, and that gives me an advantage over those who believe the teacher."

~Bean, Ender's Shadow

"boys like it when youre playfully mean to them. call them names. punch them on the shoulder. murder their families"
-bitch on tumblr

"in latin instead of saying “i love you” you don’t say anything because it’s a dead language. nothing. i think that’s beautiful. just shut the fuck up"
-Agumon


"What episode are you on?"
-Ancient proverb

"why didnt my parents name me something cool like exodius or blue eyes white dragon"
-some guy named tyler

The one you love should also be your best friend. -my bf

You should smile more. I bet you have a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts. - my bf

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. - no clue, but I can relate to this because a lot of people look up to me and I'm a big sister too.

If you stopped listening to people in an attempt to point out their mistakes and started listening to them to try to learn something, you would be a much smarter individual.

Princess Asuka wrote:Heavy is the head that wears the crown. - no clue, but I can relate to this because a lot of people look up to me and I'm a big sister too.

Shakespeare; Henry IV Part II, III:i

I think sex is the cure for racism, 'cause people are the same when they're naked, people react the same. I've slept with white girls, black girls, Spanish girls...there's no difference: none of them enjoyed it. Women of all races and creeds agree that I have the sex appeal of leukemia.
-Jim Norton

Some people suck. Some people don't. Some people run fast. Some people can't. Some people can sing. Madonna isn't one of them.
-Denis Leary

I hope death is like a big French orgasm, although meeting St. Peter will be embarrassing, all smothered in grog and shrouded in post-orgasmic guilt.
-Russell Brand

Politics is guns if you really get down to it.
-Mike Watt

Listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don’t know them, run away. No one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant ass somewhere else.
-(don't know who said this)

Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later it’s because it fucked you.
-(also no clue)

Most people are stupid. Nothing seems like a mistake until it’s a mistake. You stand in front of an electric fence and whip your schwantz out to take a piss on it, it’s pretty clear you’re about to make a mistake. Other than that, you pretty much have no way of knowing.
-(yet again, no idea)

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
-George Carlin

People should fall in love with their eyes closed.
-Andy Warhol

EDIT: Forgot one I recalled yesterday, the quote at the bottom.

"What I discovered after the first five years was that talented people tend to move on and less talented people tend to be the most loyal. It’s rare that you find both." - Lorne Michaels

"Let sleeping cats lie."

-me after I messed up the phrase let sleeping dogs lie.

I have a small selection of quotes from a couple of users. I routinely rotate them in and out of my signature. Nobody really special. Except you, June.

June wrote:get your daki\we have lives to save

Nervshatter wrote:EGF chat is the evageeks illuminati\headed by Ksard

Paranoid wrote:"My jesusmobile is in the shop"
THE POINT IS THAT SUPER MARIO TOUCHED MY BALLS OK?
Am I witnessing a booty call?

Squiggsquasher wrote:"I'm beginning to worry I'm turning into the Roger Ebert of pornography."

Don't think I've posted in here, but my personal favorite from everyone's favorite bisexual(?) First Lady:

Eleanor Roosevelt wrote:No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Another one from the Buk. I enjoy this one cause my social anxiety sometimes leaves me feeling the same way.

My next problem was dizzy spells. But I only got them when I was standing in line. I began to get very terrified of standing in line. It was unbearable.

I realized that in America and probably everyplace else it came down to standing in line. We did it everywhere. Driver's license: three or four lines. The racetrack: lines. The movies: lines. The market: lines. I hated lines. I felt there should be a way to avoid them. Then the answer came to me. Have more clerks. Yes, that was the answer. Two clerks for every person. Three clerks. Let the clerks stand in line.

I knew that lines were killing me. I couldn't accept them, but everybody else did. Everybody else was normal. Life was beautiful for them. They could stand in line without feeling pain. They could stand in line forever. They even liked to stand in line. They chatted and grinned and smiled and flirted with each other. They had nothing else to do. They could think of nothing else to do.

And I had to look at their ears and mouths and necks and legs and asses and nostrils, all that. I could feel death-rays oozing from their bodies like smog, and listening to their conversations I felt like screaming "Jesus Christ, somebody help me! Do I have to suffer like this just to buy a pound of hamburger and a loaf of rye bread?"

"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."

"I hate Mondays." Garfield.

"I'd like mornings better if they started later." Garfield.

"You know what a diet is, don't you? It's die with a t, that's what it is!" Garfield.

"For love and justice, I'm the pretty suited soldier, Sailor Moon! In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!" Sailor Moon's famous speech.

When life gives you lemons ... throw them at the people giving you a hard time! - me

When life gives you lemons, find somebody with sugar and team up.

Nuclear Lunchbox wrote:When life gives you lemons, find somebody with sugar and team up.

Touche.

Both are inferior choices.

Cave Johnson wrote:When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! GET MAD! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?' Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!