MisatoCrush wrote:I'm sort of ok. I've been walking around kind of in a daze.

That's normal.

The next phase is usually the impulse to read or write fanfic.

Mr. Tines wrote:That's normal.

The next phase is usually the impulse to read or write fanfic.

Right now I want to start reading some of the books or mangas that have been created.
The one where it's all happy go lucky and they're all in school together (like in Shinji's sad daydream), and also the one where the Instrumentality never happened.
There might be one more but those are the two that piqued my interest the most.

MisatoCrush wrote:The one where it's all happy go lucky and they're all in school together (like in Shinji's sad daydream)

Ikari Rising Project or Campus Apocalypse?

MisatoCrush wrote:, and also the one where the Instrumentality never happened.

That's certainly ANIMA, but it's a Light Novel, not a manga, and no complete translation(official or by fans) exists yet.

ElMariachi wrote:Ikari Rising Project

It's quite a pity that there's no complete translation.

Things I'm interested in reading:

I'd love to see either a cartoon or book/manga set in the fake universe where the NGE characters are all happy at the school. They should consider doing an entire spinoff cartoon series with the same animators and voices. I'd buy that for sure.
It'd be such a relief in light of the dark and tragic real NGE storylines.

NGE: Angelic Days
This seems to be an exact copy of the happy alternate reality where they're all in school. I'll read this first.

Shinji Ikari Raising Project (Manga)
This also seems to actually be a continuation of Shinji's happy hallucination, so I'll read this 2nd.

Campus Apocalypse
Continuation of real story but large changes to the plot.

Petit Eva: Evangelion@School
The artwork looks goofy, and apparently there's no dialogue?

MisatoCrush wrote:Petit Eva: Evangelion@School
The artwork looks goofy, and apparently there's no dialogue?

You can find it animated on YouTube.

Mr. Tines wrote:You can find it animated on YouTube.

Oh god, thank you Mr. Tines!

Ok so after I marathon the entire TV show and EoE (after researching the mysteries and being able to focus on the visuals more) for a second time next week I will cheer myself up with these happy goofy videos!

Awesome! Cheers!

Retake tangent moved to the RE-TAKE thread

Reichu wrote:Oh, it will, will it? I'll prove you people wrong! Its much-lauded charms have no chance of reaching my cold, black heart! None, I tell you!

Nice try Reichu. Not even YOUR bleakness can permeate the aura of hope and optimism that veils upon my soul!

@MisatoCrush: And if you're still looking for other fics to satisfy your love of Evangelion, I'd like to offer some recommendations. :)

Evangelion:Genocide.
The Second Try. (My Personal Favorite )
Higher Learning
When She Smiles
Orchestrating the Silence
Unbroken
Once more with Feeling
Scar Tissue (despite it's bleak premise. :P )
Children of an Elder God. (An HP Lovecraft/Evangelion crossover. )
Shinji and the Doctor (A Doctor Who/Evangelion crossover.)

And there's tons more. Just ask around. :)

MisatoCrush wrote:Shinji Ikari Raising Project (Manga)
This also seems to actually be a continuation of Shinji's happy hallucination, so I'll read this 2nd.

I would like to read this magnificent harem story more, but it's hard to find chapters beyond 7 on the internet..... T.T

I don't want to buy volumes......

Giji Shinka wrote:I would like to read this magnificent harem story more, but it's hard to find chapters beyond 7 on the internet..... T.T

I don't want to buy volumes......

Is it a quality read? I wouldn't mind buying them if they're good.
Reading these things on a computer or my iphone would be difficult I think.
Or is it easier than I imagine?

Like, if I could get it on my iphone in a big letter format and I can just slide down or something.

But geeze there are over 14 volumes for this Ikari Raising Project. ^^

MisatoCrush wrote:Is it a quality read? I wouldn't mind buying them if they're good.

Silly harem + fanservice+ Eva = WIN!

Mr. Tines wrote:That's normal.

The next phase is usually the impulse to read or write fanfic.

Yeah, there's not usually that many other avenues open after EoE. God bless that ambiguity and/or vagueness.

And as xanderkh said, there's certainly no shortage of good Eva-related reading material. He already did a pretty good job at titles to start with...and I would add in more, but I've probably forgotten more titles I've read than I can remember (been at this for ten years by now). And there are at least a sizable chunk of those (around fifteen or twenty percent) that I can't openly mention for, *ahem*, content reasons.
Oh, and if you are in the mood for some fan-made stories, you could always follow the ink in my signature. I can't promise you'll like 'em, but...

The various manga are...well, I have mixed feelings there:

-Angelic Days is the kind of thing to rot your teeth, but its art style turned me off (and, to be honest, I've never been the biggest fan of the ep26 AU).
-SIRP is cute and funny, but it feels like the same plots over and over rehashed ad nauseum. Its nature is too cyclic for my tastes.
-Campus Apocalypse was cool, but fairly short. Worth looking into, though.
-Petit Eva was coma-inducing cute and pretty funny to boot. Give it a shot.

CJD wrote:So first, let me preface this by saying I have 3 experiences watching Eva. The first was two years ago and while I did feel these things it was to a lesser extent. The second was last year and was the most severe and consequently what I'll describe. The third was just last month when I watched the latter half of Eva (and the Rebuild movies) in a community stream hosted by some random /a/non, and while I did feel lethargic and down towards the end of the main series and EoE, the combination of a "community" and the Rebuild movies immediately after, I believe, prevented me from feeling anywhere near the levels I felt after the second. Also, all three were marathons, which is likely related.

I've talked about it before but when I finish Eva I get really... drained I guess. (Depression might be an accurate word for it but I don't like throwing "Depression" around lightly.) I just want to go lay down and sleep, to not think about it. After watching Eva nothing else seems important or enjoyable, and I end up feeling like trying to enjoy something, like playing video games for example, is a betrayal (Either to myself or to Eva, I'm not exactly sure, I just feel bad about it.)

This extreme lethargy persisted for a day or two where I spent the large majority of my time laying in bed. After that a sense of depression persisted for a few weeks to a month, I don't recall exactly how much time just that it was a major down period for me. Eva also managed to instill in me, for some reason, a dislike of television and movies. Before this Eva watching session I almost always had the television on when I was at my computer. Even if I wasn't watching it or had it muted I enjoyed very much the presence of it. I also had shows that I watched when they aired. After watching Eva this time it changed. I watched it late May/early June (it's what prompted me to join Evageeks), and I don't think I actually turned my television on till last fall, and it wasn't until this spring that I actually started watching shows again (besides Anime, that persisted throughout). I still don't turn my TV on unless I'm looking for something, or really, really bored, and I still haven't resumed watching most of the shows I used to watch.

Part of what got me out of my slump, my depression, was joining Evageeks. I've half joked about it but the ability to discuss Eva, something I couldn't do with anyone I knew, helped me dispense a lot of inner questions and turmoil. It also allows me to keep Eva present in my life, which is the reason I tend to be on here every day (even if I don't post), it lets me feel like Eva isn't actually over. The ability to keep Eva around, but not dominating my thoughts or making me sad, helps me a lot.

End Disclaimer: Now, I mentioned the fact that I marathoned it, which could be related. (Memories foggy so if someone knows who I'm talking about and I get something wrong feel free to correct me. Sorry!) There was a thread a while back where someone mentioned that they recently marathoned Eva for the first time, they had previously watched it in pieces, and they too felt drained. If I recall correctly it seemed the general consensus was most people hadn't marathoned it before, and while they did have similar problems after watching it normally, it wasn't anywhere near the levels that the person in question or myself had felt. Based on that I'd say it's a safe assumption marathoning Eva directly correlates to much stronger negative feelings after finishing it, and could very well be the reason my experience might differ from so many others.

daaaaamn this is my exact experience, down to the "i don't throw around depression" comment and the watching shows thing. i STILL can't bring myself to watch anything on my tv since then. in fact, the only thing i have watched since then is... the rebuilds.

Rei ii's death and Misato's death are literally the saddest shit i've ever seen in a piece of media and it makes me uneasy listening to their respective themes. EoE just absolutely obliterated me and I was just on my couch shaking for a while.

I think I find myself turning to Evangelion when I slip into a depressive state not the series causing the depressive state. Though the series is absolutely emotionally draining I do believe wholeheartedly that it has a hopeful, meaningful and positive message at it's conclusion. For me, the emotionally draining experience that is Evangelion and EoE is both cathartic and therapeutic. Not only can you learn about yourself through the characters, but you can absolutely pour yourself into their emotions. When it's over and you've rested from the emotional rollercoaster, you feel relieved and refreshed. I recognize that this is escapism which is part of the warning and message Hideaki Anno wanted conveyed through his art, but if you recognize that and use the series as a form of emotional release, then the temporary escape is harmless. I believe Eva and EoE to be a paradigm shifting experience and the fact that it can have such an emotional and existential impact on you is a testament to it's genius. My one disclaimer is I am completely biased as this series holds a very special place in my heart. I have learned so much about myself and the world through it and will continue to watch it time and time again

The mind breakdown scene of Asuka was really hurting, depressing and disturbing and it hit right where it hurt. Not good idea to watch this scene when you feel depressing, (like when you feel as bad as in the actual mindattack scene.) on standalone and without the larger context of Evangelion. My bad

Jayfive wrote:Makes me depressed? Quite the opposite in fact.

Yeah, this.

The show is, at the end of the day, still somewhat uplifting on the whole. The dark themes arguably enhance this.

If you want to send a message to appreciate the comfort and safety of a life you consider mundane; that being the one to go into battle for your city would actually be terrifying IRL; it helps to show Shinji's "alternate mundane reality" from ep 26 as the comic relief scene contrasting with the dark situation he's in.

If you want to send a message that those who say "no one wants me" might be wrong, it helps to have it said by a guy whose classmates crowd around him when he mentions being an EVA pilot; the girls in particular fawning over him as if he performed well at Christmas karaoke. When he's the same guy who can't help but dwell over few negative remarks, it gets you thinking about who else might be wrong to dwell over them.

Yeah, it tackles a lot of thorny topics. Suicide. Mental illness. War. Survivor's guilt. For a show made in the 90s, NGE sure didn't let the phrase "don't go there" hold it back.

Then again, these things have been discussed in abundance throughout the Internet too, often without the uplifting message to go with them. Without ending on statements like "people will be grateful and commend you for what you did here today." Or "that's what families do."

I've mentioned before on this site that mixing dark themes with cute and colourful visuals is part of what makes NGE so interesting, but I suppose the same could be said for much of anime. I think NGE stands out even amongst anime for how well it pulls itself out of that dark rut to end an episode on a high note from time to time, let alone uses those dark themes to make the uplifting messages even more memorable.

As well, the fact that they tackle these thorny topics, instead of sidestepping them, makes it all the more reassuring that such uplifting moments don't come from a place of evasiveness.

Yes and no. It is hard to explain. A wall of text is imminent. You were warned.

I don't remember how I felt about the show the first time that I watched it, about a year and four months ago or so. I am pretty sure that I marathoned the show in just a few days, so by the time that I reached the end, I was probably just numb to what I was seeing --- just going through one episode after another and having no idea what had happened the episode before. (Interestingly, I had no recollection of Episode 23 at all and only realized that the second Rei actually died in that episode --- and how she died --- after I watched the episode a few months ago. I know from my reaction to it then that I would have remembered that episode if I had seen it before.)

So for the first about six months or so of having "seen" the show, no, not really. It's hard to explain, since after that first viewing, I had watched the first seven episodes or so a couple of times in the German and English dubs alongside the original Japanese. I would keep restarting my watching of the show because I was afraid to get to the end. I was trying to hold back on watching it again and, thereby, of having to watch The End of Evangelion. (This is important in a moment.) This leads me to believe that I was trying to avoid the sadder parts of the show and, hence, that it did have an effect on me, even after just that first, now semi-mythical watching.

The pandemic did several things here. First, it cut me off from my only access to interactions with an outside community: my university classes. I have always been largely asocial, even as a healthy kid who "knew" a lot of people in grade school, but I suppose a kind of veil about my social reality that had been over my face through my ability to interact with others physically in class was removed by the onset of the pandemic. So, this led me to a realization of just how isolated I am in some ways from others, and forced me to confront why that is and whether I like it or not. Second, it gave me more free time, as all my responsibilities to college beyond classes were thrown out the window, and still remain on hiatus. Third, the heightened amount of time I have spent alone has driven me to some pretty miserable places. This all sets up the following.

I finished a full rewatch of the series for the first time this fall, around September or so, I think. I remember being most deeply saddened and disturbed by Rei's death and the manner of it, mainly because I had grown very attached to her character. I also recall having mixed feelings about the end of the series and instrumentality, but thought that, in the end, it was a somewhat "happy" ending for the main characters. (There is always more to say, but I have limited time.)

After that, I spent a lot of time thinking about the characters and their natures and meanings, but came to few conclusions. I read the wiki a bit, and wrote in my diary about it. I started drawing too, and am getting good at it. Anyway.

As the fall went on, I had made plans on how I would watch The End of Evangelion. I had planned this elaborate ritual where I would watch the whole original series three times --- once in Japanese, then in German, and finally in English --- and then, over winter break, I would watch the movie. But what actually happened was, one night in October, I just said, f*ck it, I'm watching this now. I think an excerpt from my diary still best sums up how I reacted:

By the time I seemed to make the decision to watch it it was already over. I don’t have anything to say. It was one of the more disturbing things I have ever seen. Even having been spoiled on parts of it --- especially some imagery, thanks to my love of Komm, Suesser Tod --- I was dumbfounded throughout the film. I visually repulsed at several times. I could not believe my eyes or other senses at others. I am horrified, spiritually broken, and otherwise dismayed and demoralized. I do not know what else to say.

I still feel that way somewhat. Like others have related, I also sat on my couch for about an hour, utterly incapable of understanding what it was that I had just seen. I know I will have to watch it again some day to actually understand what happened and I dread the thought. (I also have now watched the Rebuild films, but late at night and all at once, and so I really don't remember what happened, especially for the third film.)

The film in particular disturbed me like no other media I had ever consumed before had. I do not consider myself depressed, although I know that I have mental problems. I am losing weight, exercising regularly, eating better, and even beginning to walk outside as a replacement for walking around on my campus. I laugh when my dog does something cute. But deep down, I also know that I have been changed by this series.

When I am feeling sad or despondent or disconnected, I listen to one of the many versions of Come, Sweet Death, or Borderline Case, etc., that are out there, and, sitting or kneeling outside on my balcony at night, in the cold, alone with the wind and the sounds of the night, I feel both wondrously happy to know this series exists and, at the same time, like I simply want to no longer be here, to become nothing again.

The series has forced me to look at a lot of myself from perspectives that I had never considered before. Wonder if what I care about actually matters. How I fit in to this world, or don't. Why I am here at all. I love the series deeply, but also know that, in some ways, it has changed me for the worse. I have become more cynical. I am mainly reading things that just reinforce my negative self-worth and view of the world: psychological, logical, ethical, metaphysical, epistemological, philosophical, historical, etc.

Yet, I don't really mind either, because in some way I feel like being the miserable, detached, lonely cynic who only gets emotional when alone has become a core part of who I am and what distinguishes me from others. On the other hand, I have term papers to finish, and yet here I sit, writing this instead. And despite all that I might tell myself otherwise, I do feel deeply lonely. Actually, an excerpt from some internal dialogue of the Rei from the Shinji Ikari Raising Project might best sum up how I feel about this right now (even if this Rei is very different from the main timeline):

Ever since I could remember, I didn't fit in. That's why I was always alone. And just when I thought I could get past all of it --- here I am, again. It felt natural to be alone. But now... it just feels lonely. This is me.

One thing I know for certain is that this show is here with me now, and will be there, as part of my being, for as long as I live. And I am fine with that. I love it dearly, but find it hard to express precisely why. I feel like I could write a doctoral dissertation on this series and have said nothing at all of merit. Even here, where I can edit my message before it is sent, I find it hard to actually explain my attachment to the show. It is in some ways an indescribable sensation that I am sure many of you are familiar with.

I guess that that is it, for now. If someone actually read all of that, "congratulations!"

Defiantly, especially the sound track. Not even the songs that are supposed to sound sad. It's always "A moment when tension breaks" and "Tokyo-3" that get me the most. When it comes to the show itself, the second episode make me a bit sad; since it's were we are getting settled into the theme of the show, and it shows a lot about Shinji's life and train of thought.

Then again- the entire show makes me happy and depressed at the same time.

quidam wrote:Yes and no. It is hard to explain.

Agree with this statement. I have two different points of view with EVA making me or not depressed:
1. The anime itself is not de'ressing at all I think it has a positive way of trying to get out scapism. Also the dialogues between the characters and philosophy/psychology makes it a really animation worthy to see and debate about. This is main reason why after 25 years people still love EVA.
2. Nevertheless, it makes me feel depressed about my own life. I relate a lot to Shinji (scape in difficult situations, thinking everyone hates me etc...) but also the rest of the characters Rei (I feel really loneliness and that makes me feel depressed sometimes) and Asuka (trying the best and getting recognition for it)

So yeah it is a great dilemma if EVA makes me feel depressed or not. I guess it is my fault not the anime.